The Cold War
by Gleena
Summary: In 2026, the Cullens realize that Aro desperately wants to possess Edward in order to use him in a barbaric experiment. Now, the Cullens must evade the Volturi while protecting one of their own as well as Aro's unwitting human pawn. 100% Canon.
1. Joshua

Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe. Period.

AN: This story is 100% in canon, to the best of my ability. It is set in the future, about 20 years after Breaking Dawn. Edward shows up toward the end of Ch. 3. You get to see all of the Cullens starting in Ch. 4. It is a little dark.

1. Joshua

I sat in my cramped cubicle in the grad student office on the musty third floor of Carney Hall, checking my email on my laptop. I had just finished my last class of the week; I had once again convinced Dr. Howeson that MW and TTh classes should be assigned to me so I could spend extra time on my "research." I was free from now until 9:30 Monday morning. Unfortunately, I had no commitments and after a really unpleasant scene outside my apartment two weeks ago, I had almost sworn off women. I had a whole three-day weekend and nothing to do but research. In order to put off another futile examination of an online library catalog of another small town in Italy, I was reading all my email, including the annoying spams from the "bored girl in Russia."

My computer beeped, distracting me from the incredible deal on a "Rolex" watch. I flipped from the spam folder into my inbox. The new email was from a real person, Randall , another lit grad student, but from Harvard. We had met at a Lit Society meeting a few months back, and had met on and off at area bars. We had been drawn together by the fact that everyone else in the meeting had been either unbelievably depressed or overwhelmingly angry. Both of us had been more abstracted, fascinated and yet repulsed by the self-absorption in the room.

"Josh," read the email. "I was driving through New Hampshire a few weeks ago (Lily from the Angelico – remember?) and came across the most amazing rare books store in the tiniest town. I think one of the texts you have been looking for was in their display case. Anyway, Lily drove it all out of my head until yesterday when she dumped me in a text message. Maybe she's your long-lost twin?"

I snorted. The unpleasant scene which had ended my interest in all things female a few weeks back had been over a text message. I had paid half my previous month's salary to repair the damage to the door. And it had taken several hours to clean up the partially burned grocery bag of…well, I never figured out exactly what it was. But it hadn't smelled good. The other tenants had not forgiven me yet.

"Anyway, you should drive up right away because I think the text was on loan. You will thank me _double_ for this. RSJ"

That was it. I was going. The email attachment had the name of the bookstore – Bella Libri – and a map that took me 100 miles north, to just outside the town of Wolfeboro. I could be there by 3:30. I could see the text (if it indeed was one I had been looking for), and if I was going to thank Randall double, there was undoubtedly something else I would enjoy seeing.

The map had predicted accurately; it was just 3:27 on the digital clock of my aging Jetta as I pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall. The mall had to be new, but it looked a little colonial in its trim and signage. The storefronts I could see included a Starbucks and other trendy women's clothes stores. Bella Libri was in the lower level of the mall according to Randy. A narrow staircase was visible at the left end of the mall. I descended and found myself in front of a series of shops. At this end, was Rae's antiques. In the center, JeCree was apparently a vintage fashion boutique, and at the far end in the darkest corner of the basement level was Bella Libri.

A bell tinkled on the door as I entered the dim shop. I sniffed the air, and luxuriated in the smells of dust, books, and something faintly floral. I smiled slightly. Randall never missed. The left hand wall had display cases and a mid-20th century cash register on the one closest to the door. The rest of the shop had dark wooden bookcases to the ceiling around the walls and to just above my head in the aisles. There were scattered chairs, and here at the front was a table with a coffee carafe and a teapot.

"Hello, may I help you?" called one of the loveliest voices I had heard, almost like a cello mixed with bells; a ringing yet smooth mezzo soprano. I turned back toward the display cases, and beheld one of the most perfect women I had ever seen. She looked to be about 18, with long brown hair which hung loosely down her back. Her skin was a luminous ivory, but so pale. And her eyes were a startling golden brown. She was perfectly symmetrical, left to right, in her heart-shaped face. The only flaw – if it could be called one – was that her lips seemed a little bottom heavy. She would be a pouter, I thought. That lower lip would stick out, just so. She was looking at me like something was wrong…oh, yes…

"Yes, actually," I answered with as good of grace I could muster. My voice did _not_ just crack. I had incredible luck with women, at least for the first month of the relationship. After that, well, it might still be good luck, but it rarely lasted past that. I was considered more than attractive by most, at 6 foot 1, with a swimmer's build. I had the same coloring and similar features to Brad Pitt, I had been told multiple times. In fact, that was a common pick-up line I heard at bars - Aren't you that guy from the movies? I was confident, maybe even arrogant, but I was a stammering fool in front of this slender beauty.

I cleared my throat and began again. "I heard you had some Renaissance Italian texts on display, and I was hoping to view them. I'm Joshua Clemson. I'm a literature graduate student." I was babbling, just a little bit. She had tilted her head slightly to the right while I was speaking, and had started to chew her bottom lip. The floral scent was stronger now. It was heavenly.

She smiled, a small smile where only a sliver of her top teeth showed. They were very white and even. "I'm Bella Masen, and I hate to disappoint you, Joshua-"

"Most of my friends call me Josh," I interrupted. I hoped it didn't sound too desperate. I was not the desperate type. I flashed my teeth. Just being friendly. Not desperate at all.

This time, Bella frowned slightly, and a tiny wrinkle formed between her eyebrows. I noticed that the deep blue baby-doll top she wore was a stunning color with her pale skin. She continued, "all our Italian texts were on loan, and the owner took them back last week." She sounded genuinely sorry.

I was disappointed; I did, after all, have a thesis to write – but I wasn't quite done with Bella. "Do you have listing of which texts they were?" I asked. "If they included some of the ones I've been looking for, perhaps you could contact the owners on my behalf?" I gave her the most dazzling look I had in my arsenal. It was the look that usually convinced whoever she was that her phone number was exactly what she wanted to give me, unless it was her address and a short cab ride.

Bella went back to her small smile, and it was a little more encouraging than the frown, but I could see she wasn't convinced, yet. "I have the list – I just need to go in the back to get it. Please browse around."

I wandered to the right-hand wall, and noted that the books on the dark wood shelves here were ART and then ARCHITECTURE. I was looking at the spines without really absorbing what was in front of my eyes. Bella. It was a beautiful name, for a beautiful girl. Wait. The shop was named for her? She must be older than she looks. I had assumed she was a shop girl, but it appeared there was more to Bella than met the eye. I didn't think much of her Italian, though. I thought the name was more properly _bei libri_. But it was a cute play on her name.

"Here, I found the list," she called to me in her melodious voice. She was wearing light blue crop pants and some kind of heeled sandal which made her feet look very graceful. In fact, everything about her body and her movements as she approached me was graceful. This was too much.

She handed me the list carefully, as if avoiding contact with me. This wasn't working in the exactly way I had hoped. I scanned the list, and to my shock, the exact text I had been searching for was there. Reputedly, there were only three copies. One was in a museum in Milan, and had been severely damaged by water. The second was in the hands of a very reclusive private collector in Volterra. This must be the third copy, and it had fallen into my very lap. If I could see it, translate it, and make the textual analysis I had planned on, I had not only a Ph.D. but likely a paper, maybe a publishable monograph.

"This is it, Bella," I said with excitement. For the moment, I forgot my plans to make any moves on her. "If you could get access to this document for me, I would be forever in your debt. This is the text I've been searching for to complete my thesis." I gave her the dazzling smile again, but this time it was because I was genuinely excited about making progress.

"Wow, Joshua, I mean Josh," she said with a little laugh. "I tell you what, if you call me on Monday afternoon, I can let you know if the owner is willing to let you study the document. You could be at work within a week, depending on how willing they are to let you work."

I was considering asking her to a celebratory coffee at the Starbuck's upstairs, when the door opened with the sound of the tinkling bell.

"Bella!" a husky low voice called behind me. I turned to see a very tall, maybe 6 ½ foot, Native American looking man in coveralls coming in. He literally dominated the shop. "Did you still need me to look at your car?" He didn't acknowledge my presence with even a sidelong glance.

"No, Jacob, everything is fine," she said, with visible irritation. I wondered what could be so irritating about the request, but perhaps he was a continual source of irritation for her. In fact, maybe he was trying the same thing I was trying.

"Just checking," he said, grinning. "I gotta get back to the shop then." He shot me a look which was not especially friendly, and to my surprise appeared to sniff the air as he swiveled back to the door.

"Well, I should be going. It's two hours back to the city." I had so many questions to ask. How did she end up in this town in a rare book shop which turned up long-lost Renaissance texts? How old was she? Did she own the shop? None of this was appropriate for today. But I would see her again, one way or another. "Do you have a card so I can call you Monday?"

"Oh, sure," she answered. She seemed a little flustered, so maybe Jacob was the problem. She pulled a card out of a holder on the counter by the antique cash register. "Here you go."

As I wandered through the narrow passage in front of the basement level shops, I noticed that women in the other two shops were watching me leave. I didn't stop to check them out, though. I was too full of Bella.


	2. Randall

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner and proprietor of the Twilight saga and universe.

2. Randall

On my drive back to Boston, I was buoyed by my thoughts alternating between finding the missing text and the opportunity to see Bella again. I realized that Randall's email suggested he was now Lily-less and possibly free for a night at Angelico's. I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled to his number.

"Hello Josh! Did you get my email?" Randall had an excellent baritone, nearly in the same range as my own voice. We had gotten rotten drunk at least once and done a karaoke duet which had convinced our dates if no one else that we were passable singers.

"Absolutely! I'm on my way back from my double delight right now. I wondered if you wanted to meet me at Angelico's in about an hour? I can update you on how the afternoon progressed."

Two hours later, Randall and I were well on our way to becoming happily buzzed in Angelico's. We were sitting in my usual booth, the one with the excellent view of the bar area. Both of us were watching the bar, but neither of us were very serious about it. The buzz of voices and the music was such that no one could hear us past the edge of the booth. The place wasn't anywhere near as full as it would be later in the evening.

"So what did _you_ think of Bella?" I asked Randall. He must have been with Lily when he was at the bookstore, so he might not have paid close attention to detail.

"I'm not sure if she's my type," he said, his eyes following one of the waitresses cross the floor. I followed his eyes and appreciated the view. "She was too thin and a little too washed out for me. I like the warmer-looking ones myself. You know, a little tanner, maybe a little softer-looking, too. I was shocked when I saw the manuscripts in the display, though."

"Yeah," I responded. "Like I said, they weren't there when I went by, but it is shocking that a missing manuscript would show up in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire in a little bitty bookstore."

"Did you ask her about how she got ahold of that?" asked Randall curiously.

"We didn't get that far," I admitted with some disappointment. "We were interrupted by a gas station mechanic of all things. He was one of the biggest guys I'd ever seen."

"Was that Emmett?" asked Randall. His eyes wandered across the bar, but he seemed to have tensed up a bit.

"Emmett? No, I think his name was James…no Jacob," I answered. "Are you on a first-name basis with mechanics in Wolfeboro?" I laughed a bit. Maybe it was the third Yuengling, but this conversation seemed a little off to me.

"No, it was nothing," responded Randall. "There was a big guy there when we were in the store, and I thought his name was Emmett. What did this Jacob look like?"

"I thought he might be Native American, actually. He had jet black hair and that dark coloring. He might have been closer to 7 feet than to 6 feet, and he was muscled up, too." I remembered the look he'd given me, and thought Randall might enjoy the story. "I don't think he wanted me talking to Bella, which is weird. I mean, she runs a business, right? She needs customers. And I swear he sniffed at me when he left the shop."

At that point I was almost certain Randall twitched, but when I looked back at him, he was just taking a swig of his Guiness and watching the bar.

"You never did tell me what this manuscript is supposed to be about," commented Randall, changing the subject. "_Il __viaggiatore_, right? What does that mean?"

"It translates as 'The Traveller,'" I responded. "It was written by someone who called himself the traveller. The manuscript is a story of two different royal families who are depicted as depraved parasites on the common people. The fragments which are readable in the one available copy are suggestive that the author had direct personal contact with royal or rather noble families in both Italy and Romania. The characters that I could read about were amazing, but the plot line or the purpose of the manuscript was obscured in the water damage. I may find that it is nothing like what I expect when I finally get my hands on the cleaner copy. Well, assuming this copy is actually intact."

Randall was nodding his head and people (or rather female) watching. He turned to look at me more carefully. "When do you think you'll go back?"

I shrugged. "Hopefully within the week. I will be calling on Monday to hear whether I'll be allowed to go back." He nodded, giving me a shrewd look. "So, some of it may be because Bella is _molto bella_."

"Did you go in the other shops?" he asked. "There are some nice looking ladies in the other shops, too. That was all I had to look at while Lily spent 45 minutes in the dressing room."

"No, I drove straight back," I said. "Anyway, they looked a little girlie for me to wander into on my own. JeCree? I can barely stand girl shopping when I have the girl with me." I shook my head. Desiree had been a fun ride (pun intended) while she lasted, but her shopping habits had been terrifying. She had been the pinnacle of my experiences in the shopping sphere.

"I think there was one other girl working in the shop while I was there – did you see anyone else there? She was pretty hot, too. Not quite as pale as Bella. I can't quite remember her name." Randall appeared to have paid a _lot_ of attention to the women on his trip with Lily.

"No, the place was empty except for Bella." I was getting a little weirded out by Randall's questions. There wasn't anything I could put my finger on, but I got the sense there was a subtext to his questions. "Anyway, depending on what happens Monday, I may never be going back."

Randall nodded slowly, then waved at our waitress for another round. I wondered how far he was going to go with questions about the women and mechanics of Wolfeboro, but when he looked back he grinned and asked what I thought of the Knicks-Celtics game the next day. Apparently, he had scored tickets from his department head who was going to a conference in Europe, and with no Lily, I was getting lucky.


	3. Back to Wolfeboro

Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe. Period.

3. Back to Wolfeboro

It was 3:15 Monday afternoon, and I had just finished my last class for the day – a freshman comp class with 26 very adolescent eighteen-year-olds. I knew I had been that age once, but it seemed long ago. I tossed a stack of papers, thankfully all typed, onto my nearly clear desktop. I did not look forward to the gushing prose or the disjointed angst that undoubtedly comprised the majority of the papers. I could put it off until later in the evening, when a beer had mellowed out the worst of the agony.

Cursing under my breath, I picked up the stack again and flipped through the pages. I needed these in a particular order: best to worst. I knew from experience that if the worst papers put me in a temper, the rest of the papers' grades would drop. And at the very end of the stack, I put two of the female students' papers. I had a strict no-student-contact policy, actually stricter than the school's policy which was hammered into the grad students' heads once a year in a humiliating 8-hour role-playing workshop. Both of my problem ladies had been wearing more and more revealing outfits with the slight increases in temperature this month. They sat on the front row (but not next to each other), and I could no longer even lower my eyes to them during class. I had started focusing on one of the less attractive students who sat two rows back and never looked up off her notebook. Or out the window. The clothes were not the worst of it, however. Their papers always included a 24-year-old literature grad student with deep blue eyes.

My cell phone alarm beeped, and I realized it was time to call Ms. Bella Masen at Bella Libri. I actually had an attack of nerves. I left all my papers on my cubicle desk along with the big leather briefcase my dad had given me at college graduation. Nan was at the next cubicle, twirling a red pen and reading a student paper. She looked up at me and gave me a friendly but absent smile before returning to her reading. I realized I did not want to have any conversations with Bella in the grad student office, so I headed out and down to the benches on the green.

The weather was beautiful, a brisk spring day where you want to take off your coat, but it isn't quite warm enough. The quality of the sunlight, the newness of the green, and the freshness of the air were reminders that life was always in renewal. It made me sad, a familiar ache in my lower chest. I shook my head. I was determined not to let it pull me in. I sat on the chilly stone bench facing into the sun, and opened and closed my phone a few times while I composed an imaginary conversation, concentrating on the memory of books and floral smells and golden brown eyes. This was stupid. I opened the phone once more and dialed the number on the card.

"Hello, Bella Libri, may I help you?" asked a female, but unfamiliar voice.

"Hi, I'm Joshua Clemson, I'm trying to reach Bella Masen," I said in my best handsome-man-over-the-phone voice. This was in spite of the fact that my stomach had dropped about 3 inches when I realized she could be out. I rubbed a sweaty palm on my khakis with annoyance.

"Oh, yeah, I knew you were supposed to be calling. It'll be just a minute," the lady on the other end responded. The phone went to a recording of _Clair de Lune_. I figured it was supposed to be soothing.

"Hello, Joshua – I mean Josh?" I recognized Bella's amazing voice.

"Hi, Bella? I wondered if you had heard back yet about _Il __viaggiatore_?"

"Yes, good news for you! The collector is willing to let you study it, but only inside Bella Libri, I'm afraid," she answered. "The manuscript is too valuable and delicate for much handling, and the insurance rider we obtained to have it on display is in effect for 6 more weeks. You would probably save your university money by coming up here to view it, if that would suit you?"

"No, that's perfect," I said, and it really was. I couldn't have designed a better outcome. "The only trouble is my teaching schedule. I have classes Mondays to Thursday mornings, so I'm really only able to come up Thursday afternoon to Friday."

"Perhaps you could work Saturdays as well. The shop isn't open, but I do inventory on Saturdays and deal with all the internet orders that come in. You'd be able to work relatively undisturbed." Bella was giving me more than I anticipated.

"That is very generous of you," I said, and it was nothing but the truth. "Will the manuscript be in place this Thursday?"

"Sure," she answered with a laugh. "I guess you're in a hurry to finish up your thesis. I remember what that's like."

"Do you have a" I couldn't think how to phrase this. She was not old enough for graduate school. "Did _you_ go to graduate school?"

Bella laughed again. "I get that a lot. Yes, I have a masters in comparative literature from Dartmouth. So, I guess I should expect you on Thursday afternoon?"

"I'll be there," I answered. "Can you recommend a comfortable Bed and Breakfast or something?" I had an aversion to cheap motels. My inheritance was not enormous, but it was substantial enough for me to indulge myself with a Ph.D. in lit with few worries.

"There's one just a block over from the shop, it's called the Wolfeboro Den, believe it or not. I know the proprietors, and another friend did the renovating and decorating. It's a real experience." She was being very helpful. Was it me, or everyone?

"Thanks, I'll make reservations, and see you Thursday."

I closed the phone and leaned forward, elbows on my knees. The conversation had been superficial, but somehow very pleasant. I had a niggling feeling that this had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Bella. But in any case, the work was set, and I could now look forward to graduating within the lifetime of the sun.

Thursday afternoon saw me descending once again into the basement level of the Hunter's Crossing strip mall. I passed the two girly stores and entered the bookstore. The rich smell of old books hit me again, and I remembered why I had settled on my degree. Dad had a small collection of first editions, now with my evil former stepmom. He and I had spent a lot of time in bookstores and libraries in Europe in my early high school years. The scent and the new hope for finishing this work (now that I could start it!) was making me nostalgic. I shoved the feeling down. I realized I had been standing still in the entry. I looked up to see a 20-something woman watching me from the cash register. When our eyes met, she gave me a smile.

"You must be Josh," she said in a pleasant soprano. She had reddish-brown curls which cascaded down her back. Two barrettes or something had the long tresses pulled off her face. It was unstudied and lovely. She was nearly as pale as Bella, but had full red lips and a slight blush to her cheeks. She was a little tall, maybe 5-7, and slim and athletic in build. I guessed her age as approximately the same as mine. "I'm Vanessa. Bella has gone out for her coffee break." Vanessa smiled a little at that statement, amused for some reason I couldn't fathom.

"Bella has a desk set up for you in the last aisle with the manuscript and cotton gloves and a light." Vanessa waved towards the far back corner of the store.

"Thanks," I said. "Um, are there facilities here, or should I head up to the Starbucks? I've been in the car since Boston without stopping."

Vanessa frowned. "Well, we have an employee-only area with a restroom, but I don't think I should let you back there until Bella says it's okay. We share that space with the other shops, so I feel funny just letting you in."

"Oh, that's fine. I didn't know. It's really no trouble." It was odd, seeing this more mature woman taking Bella's lead. I really didn't understand the dynamic, but I thought that in the next three days I would figure out something. I excused myself, and returned shortly. Vanessa didn't look up from a book she was taking notes in, but waved me back to the corner.

My Italian was not great, so I was saving reading and translation for last. I had taken my time to do what I knew to authenticate the manuscript. The paper, the ink, and the general layout made this appear to be a contemporary copy with the one I had examined in Milan. I found all four of the passages readable in the Milan copy, and determined they were identical. I had my notebook with my handwritten notes as well as my laptop with the scanned images of the pages from Milan. I was very pleased with myself and the progress.

"Josh?" It was Bella calling me.

"Yes?"

"It's almost 8 p.m., and I have to lock up." I hadn't seen her yet; I had been so engrossed in my work, I hadn't even remembered that she was my other priority on this trip.

"Oh, Geez, I'm sorry," I resonded, still a little distracted. "I'll pack up my stuff, it'll just be a moment. Hey, is there a good place for dinner?"

"Hmm," she answered, smiling again. It was the small smile; I got the feeling once again that I wasn't getting a joke. "Well, Wolfeboro is known as America's oldest summer resort. There are quaint places, touristy places, and then a smattering of the regular cookie-cutter, anywhere in America places."

"I could go for quaint," I volunteered. "Can I offer you dinner as well? You've been more accomodating than I had any hope for. I'd like to thank you in some way." I gave her the smile, the friendly, you can come with me because I'm not scary but really charming smile. It was actually the way I was feeling.

"Sorry, Josh, I have other plans for dinner," she said, again with the small smile. Maybe she was just sad about something. Something was amiss with her, but I didn't know her well enough to identify what it was.

"Okay, I hope you'll let me make it up to you in some way," I said. I was masking my disappointment with as much of the Clemson charm I could muster. Dad had been better at it than I.

The town was nice, a New England resort spot with a long history, but between my mild obsession with Bella (was it because she seemed immune to me?) and my growing excitement with _Il __viaggiatore_, I barely registered the restaurants and the B&B. It was Saturday, late afternoon, and I realized I would have to go home shortly. I had reached a convenient stopping point in the study, and the thoughts of three piles of student papers to evaluate had me wincing internally. I had already checked out of the Wolfeboro Den. I packed my papers, and stood up to stretch. I hadn't moved significantly for about 3 hours.

Bella appeared at my side. "Hi, getting ready to go?" she asked.

"Yes, shall I leave this here?" I asked, waving at the manuscript and other paraphernalia.

"Oh, that's fine. It'll get put it in the vault later. It's no problem."

We wandered toward the front of the shop. I wanted to do something beyond small talk and the superficial, but she had unconsciously rebuffed every approach I had taken. In fact, the only things I had gotten out of her for the whole weekend were that she had internet orders from all over the world and she did some consulting for private collectors like my father had been. A lock of her hair had fallen out of the twisty bun she had, and without thinking I reached over to wind it back into place.

I started in shock and jerked my hand back as a man appeared at her right side, seemingly out of nowhere. He was my height, with reddish brown messy hair and eyes just a shade or two lighter than the gold of Bella's. He could have been a male model, with a build that more than rivaled my own. I judged him to be the same age as Bella, which meant he looked 18 but could have been 30 for all I could make out of Bella's past. He wasn't looking at me at all; his eyes were on Bella.

"Edward! You're back!" she cried in obvious delight. Crap. This was what I had missed. She was in a relationship. Edward leaned down to kiss her, putting his left hand on her cheek. It was impossible to miss the thick gold ring on his hand. Crap. It was impossible to suppose he was married and having an affair with her. She was married. I hadn't even looked for a ring; I had been too locked into those expressive eyes. Stupid. The animation that had come into her made her even more desirable than before, but it was not for me in the least. I felt my attraction to her shifting to the awareness I had of any beautiful woman. I had never been a poacher, and I didn't plan to be in the future. She broke off the kiss and gave him a little glare.

"Edward, this is Joshua Clemson." Bella pushed him away just a fraction. "He's a grad student in lit, and he's been studying one of the Italian manuscripts. It was in his plan for his thesis before he even knew there was a copy in this country." I may not have learned anything about Bella this weekend, but she clearly had paid attention to me.

Edward turned, looking at me for the first time. He looked less than comfortable with my presence, but he certainly had no reason to have been worried. Nothing had happened, and now nothing ever would. It was a blow to the ego, though. "Edward," I said, putting out my hand. His was like ice in mine, and he shook with just a little more pressure than was pleasant. "This weekend has given me hope that there is a degree in my future. I can't thank Bella enough for her help. She didn't really let me thank her, though."

"Yes," he answered, "she's never been one to accept anything gracefully." He looked down at her and the hard look he'd been giving me softened up. Bella was laughing and gazing adoringly into his eyes, a little embarrassed perhaps at some memory between them. It gave me a funny feeling. I hadn't seen that look since I was 10, since before Mom had passed away. It was suprising, really, how few people had real love in their lives.

I cleared my throat. "Well, sorry to meet you and run, but I do have to get back to Boston and the work week. I'll be back Thursday afternoon, if that's okay?" Suddenly I was ready to be gone, to leave them to their private reunion. The ache in my chest was back.


	4. The Cold War

Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe.

4. The Cold War

Two weeks away from Bella had been sheer hell, but being a Cullen carried certain responsibilities. For most of my existence, that only meant remaining inconspicuous and destroying evidence, but this was a different time. Alice and I had been in Ireland, consulting with Siobhan's coven. They had grown to four, as Maggie had found her mate Sean, an amazingly honest man, or rather vampire. He was like Emmett in that his thoughts and his speech were nearly identical, but otherwise they were nothing alike. I liked him.

I parked under the overhang behind Hunter's Crossing. We had designed the building so we could go to work, regardless of the sun. I had already dropped Alice off at home where she was safe with Emmett and Jasper. We had all become wary of leaving her alone for even a moment. Alice's gifts were essential to our defense, not only family's, but all our allies' as well. In the old days, before the Cold War, I could have let her run home through the woods, but Jasper would have literally ripped me limb from limb if I had done that now. It was bad enough that she and I were on call around the world.

I entered the security code to the employee entrance to the basement level, and immediately heard that someone was in Bella Libri. I didn't recognize the man's voice, but he sounded overly familiar with Bella, and from his thoughts it was still less than he would have liked. I couldn't stop myself from rushing to her side as I saw in his mind that he was about to touch her hair. I knew he wouldn't see or hear my approach, but he would chalk that up to his absorption in her.

Seeing Bella with my own eyes released a tension I hadn't been fully aware of. I heard her saying my name, but I had no room in my head for anything but the sight of her, the smell of her. The pain was eased. She was as beautiful as ever. My love. As I leaned over to kiss her, I put my left hand on her cheek, satisfied when he registered the sight of my wedding band. His chagrin was a relief. He had no ulterior motives beyond romance, and now he was losing even those. The homicidal rage that threatened every time another man desired Bella began to ebb, but it wasn't completely gone.

"Edward, this is Joshua Clemson." Bella said, pushing me gently away. She knew exactly what I was doing – she hadn't missed the flashing of the wedding ring – and was frowning at me. I got a flash of her mental voice, an experience which never ceased to thrill. _Play nice Edward._ Overlaid with the remonstration was a vision of me kissing her passionately, whether it was a memory or a plan I wasn't sure. "He's a grad student in lit, and he's been studying one of the Italian manuscripts. It was in his plan for his thesis before he even knew there was a copy in this country."

I caught Joshua's thoughts. _I may not have learned anything about Bella this weekend, but she clearly had paid attention to me. _Good girl. She needed to pay more attention to strangers who visited, especially when I wasn't available to check them out. She still didn't take this situation as seriously as she should.

I broke my gaze from Bella to examine this grad student. He was only a minor annoyance, I supposed. I had put up with other men and boys desiring Bella since before I deserved to care. He was actually nowhere as annoying as many of them, as he appeared to have some scruples about people in commitments. "Edward," he said, extending his hand. I shook his, noting his mental reaction to my cold skin. I couldn't help but grip his hand until he was just uncomfortable. At least Bella couldn't witness that.

_I see what you're doing, love._ Damn.

He was talking again. "This weekend has given me hope that there is a degree in my future. I can't thank Bella enough for her help. She didn't really let me thank her, though." I could see flashes of his memories of her turning down coffee, dinner, a walk to stretch legs. All with the patented Bella sweetness. I wanted to snarl, because her desirability to other men seemed to increase exponentially through the years, and she did nothing to turn them away even if she did nothing to overtly encourage them. I wanted to laugh, because his response to her continual rejection was the same as mine had once been.

"Yes," I said. "She's never been one to accept anything gracefully." I looked down at Bella, and remembered the trouble I'd had giving her diamonds. And scholarship money. And a car. And another car. She still wasn't used to having the kind of money we had, and she'd been with me longer than she'd been human. Only the charities we supported convinced her that spending money on herself was acceptable.

I was hit with one of Bella's memories. _Remember this?_ It was a fuzzy human memory of a heart-shaped diamond. She still wore it occasionally. She laughed up at me.

I was hit with Josh's discomfort, and a memory I tried unsuccessfully to block of his mother, gone for 15 years now I saw. The tenor of the memory reminded me of my own memories of my biological mother. He had been so young that the memory of his mother and father hugging was fuzzy, although not as faded as my own human memories. I did not want to have a visceral response to this human. I wanted no connection to him.

Joshua took his leave of us, and then Bella and I were alone. She kissed me lightly, and locked the front door, and then activated the front security. I flashed to her side, and was kissing her neck and dragging her eagerly to the back of the store where we would be invisible to any possible intruding eyes. I needed to forget what was going on in Ireland. I needed to forget the constant threat which kept Alice and me on alert at all times…for what? We didn't know. I needed to be with Bella with nothing but the two of us.

"I missed you every nanosecond I was gone," I murmured into her throat as I ran one hand down her spine. The only response I got was a humming noise deep in her chest. Unless you counted the way her hands twisted up into my hair and her slim body pressed up against me. We had so much to talk about, but it would have to wait. The shop would sit happily until Monday morning. To my great disappointment, Bella pushed me back I was having none of that. I pulled her back and kissed her as thoroughly as I could. Her scent filled my lungs, and I closed my eyes to concentrate on her touch.

"I have to put away the manuscript and empty the register," she said, as I continued the kiss down her jaw bone and up to her ear.

"Mmm." I pulled her into my chest and settled my nose into her hair. "Not yet. Just one more minute."

We did have to stop. Home was not far away. Home would be more comfortable. "I'll put away the manuscript," I said, releasing her reluctantly. Anything to speed this up! I went back to the corner. I could actually smell the older paper even in the miasma of old and decaying paper which filled the shop. There were white cotton gloves which humans wore to handle the fragile paper. Vampires didn't need that; we didn't have oil on our skin. I delicately lifted the fragile paper, and realized what it was. I froze momentarily from the stress.

_Il __viaggiatore._ Carlisle and I had long ago made a special trip to Europe to ruin the one public copy before it could be studied. It helped that no living human was aware of the full contents, and the speculation of its age and origins were obscured by time and false interpretations. It had long been thought to be a 15th century manuscript, probably allegorical, of a traveller's comments about two noble families. In fact, it was Carlisle's notes on the Romanians and Volturi, dating from the early 1700s. His natural writing style and the archaic speech which had persisted in the Volturi court had been a blind to contemporary humans. It read much older than it was. It was still a mystery how that third copy could have existed. I knew Aro had obtained a copy from Carlisle before he had left the Volturi court, but that should have been it.

Bella could not have known what she was giving out to this Joshua Clemson. I had never told her, Carlisle never thought of the old thing now in his daughter's expert care, and she did not read Italian. The question was whether this Joshua had coincidentally selected this manuscript for his work and had coincidentally heard of our copy, or was he being manipulated by more sinister forces? In the one case, I had the task of ruining his plans for his thesis. In the other, we were once again being tested and probed for weakness. I felt the euphoria at seeing Bella fading in the harsh reality of our lives.

Alice had seen nothing of this Joshua; she would have shared with me. If Alice hadn't seen him, then it was unlikely that he had made any decisions that would bring danger to our family. His mind had seemed clear of deception, except for hiding his infatuation with Bella. I decided that I would refrain from discussing this with Bella, at least for now. I could keep the concern to myself, especially since it was unclear that there was anything to be concerned about.

I took a breath, and took the offending manuscript to the vault. I would have to come back later; I wanted to read the manuscript (something I had never done) and assess the possible damage from that end. And then I would investigate the circumstances surrounding the thesis of Joshua Clemson. I didn't want to kill him unless it was absolutely necessary, but the Cold War had made many more things necessary than we had ever previously considered. I knew that Alice had probably just flashed on my decision to investigate. That was fine. She could be just as ruthless as I when it came to protecting our family.

I locked the vault that we had hidden in our employee only area in the basement. Since every shop on the lower level was a Cullen enterprise, we had made rather extensive modifications beyond what was on the original blueprints of the strip mall. Bella joined me in the hallway, and the look in her eyes reminded me of all the reasons I was happy to be back at home. No more of this until Monday morning. I could put it away from myself, and I had no intention of letting Bella know about it.

Sunday afternoon at home, the entire family had gathered. I was playing piano, etudes of Chopin which fit my mood. Carlisle and Esme were playing bridge with Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett hated the game, even if he loved competition. He was grumbling in his head. Bella never shielded me anymore. Our vigilance was constant. Outside, I could hear Seth and Leah talking long-distance to each other as they patrolled. In this situation, their keen sense of smell was the first line of defense. Alice and Jasper were watching tv, although from their thoughts, they weren't paying much attention to it. I tried to ignore them. They had been separated as well for the trip to Ireland, and consulting gave Alice the vampire equivalent of a migraine. Bella was sitting directly behind me on the couch with Jacob and Renesmee. I could call her that in my head even if we couldn't say our daughter's beautiful name aloud.

Alice had warned us that Renesmee's unique name was too easily exploited to find us. I had seen the vision simultaneously with her, the handsome human examining the note which had raised so many suspicions about our family. She had seen him many times before, sometimes with a red-haired woman. Usually, the vision was of just him sitting in his office, looking at a collection of newspaper clippings about gang murders in Seattle and mysterious disappearances in the surrounding states about six months later. A map was in the folder as well, with the locations of each report marked in red. In the center of the cluster was a red circle around Port Angeles. We had had no idea what to make of him. He was very handsome, as humans went, but often rumpled as though he had slept in his clothes. His old-fashioned metal desk was messy, and a UFO poster on the wall behind him suggested he might be a crackpot. It was only in the final vision that Alice and I realized his true nature. He was an FBI agent, and he had evidence, or at least hearsay, that we were involved in illegal activities.

It was the first warning shot against us in the Cold War, although not the first maneuver. The first overt test of the extent of Alice's power. We erased all evidence of our existence in Montana, escaping to Denali only hours before he and his partner came to investigate.

My increasingly blacker thoughts were interuppted by the sound of…static? _CKCCKK. Breaker, breaker, Wolfman to DaddyLeech._ Arggh. I really wished Emmett's fascination with all things seventies had not worn off on Jacob. _If you think you're fooling anyone, especially Bella, you are off your nut. If Mr. Calmboy wasn't so preoccupied with Madame Futura, he would probably be freaking out right now. Bella is starting to do that statue routine you guys have._ I could see her in Jacob's mind, her eyes on my back, her visage frozen in concern.

I nodded slightly. It looked like, to everyone else, that I was simply into the piece I was playing. _Okay good. I'm taking Nessie back to the Den._ It had been impossible for Jacob and Renesmee to live their married life within mental distance of me. Before, when Bella could shield out everyone from me, it had been feasible, but not now. Fathers were, I had discovered, incapable of letting their baby girls grow up in that way. And daughters definitely did not want their fathers to experience any of that with them. I had had to accept the alternative: Jacob and his pack would protect her, to the last wolf. Their patrols around the Den and around our house ensured that I would know immediately if anything happened to her. It was lucky that Jacob's werewolf experience had made him an expert at controlling his thoughts, and Renesmee's gift made her exceptional in that regard as well.

I got up as Jacob and Renesmee began their good-byes. When they were out the door, I sat down next to Bella on the couch. She was tense. I held her close, putting her head under my chin. It was wrong not to share with her; that was the source of 89% of our arguments. My need to protect her and Renesmee occasionally overwhelmed me. That was my only excuse for what she termed overreaction. I lightly touched her forehead, our silent cue that I wanted to know her thoughts. No one in the family was aware that she could share with me. We had realized her ability to deshield might pose either a strategic advantage or a severe liability one day, and the more who knew she was capable, the more vulnerable we became.

_You're hiding something from me._ And in the equivalent of a mental whisper, I heard her say "again." I tried not to wince. I was perfectly aware that I had shortcomings as a husband. _Was Ireland worse that what you and Alice told?_ I shook my head no. _Can you tell me? Will you? _I kissed her on the top of her head. The bridge game was over, Carlisle and Esme had won again. As partners, they were so in tune, they didn't need my abilities to work as a successful team.

I stood up, pulling Bella with me, and went to sit on the back of Alice and Jasper's couch. We were in the center of our family.

"I think the next move in this war has just been made," I began. "The move we've been dreading – one that Alice can't see and which I can't detect."


	5. First Maneuver

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner and proprietor of the Twilight saga and universe.

AN: This chapter is a little longer than I expected. I hope it is not too confusing since it includes a lengthy flashback in the middle.

"_I think the next move in this war has just been made," I began. "The move we've been dreading – one that Alice can't see and which I can't detect."_

Ch. 5. First Maneuver

The bombshell I had dropped on my family resulted in a moment of frozen shock, and then a bewildering cacophony of mental and verbal confusion. Bella squeezed my waist, sensing my rising tension from the mental assault. I reflexively squeezed my eyes shut and focused on Carlisle's mental voice.

_What happened? You sound unsure as yet._ I opened my eyes, focusing on his face. He nodded. _So you aren't sure._ Carlisle could read me almost as well as I could hear him. What I heard from him now was relief.

"I think the pressure has finally cracked you," said Emmett. "If you can't detect a strategy, how have you detected it?"

"I wasn't planning to say anything until I could investigate a little further," I answered defensively. Bella shifted uncomfortably in the circle of my arm, but I didn't let her move away.

"Nonsense," said Esme. "You and Alice are taking too much on yourselves. We need to know how to help. And you need to hear alternative opinions."

I sighed. The whole conversation reminded me of the beginning, almost eight years ago. To my surprise, I felt nearly similar sentiments from six other minds, each seizing upon a different aspect of that infamous day. Bella's face had an unfocused look, as if she, too, were remembering. I could not hear her, though.

It seemed like there had been a pattern to my life, at least, since Bella had walked into our (first) high school cafeteria. I had experienced a series of euphoric highs which were always followed by periods of crippling pain. That day eight years ago was just the most recent episode in the pattern. The euphoria had come from the joy of my life with Bella, raising our daughter, living with the family we loved, living what we thought was the idyllic remainder of our existence. For twelve years we had celebrated every precious moment of our marriage, every milestone in Renesmee's life.

On that day, what we considered the beginning of the Cold War, we were gathered in the kitchen, engaged in a typical family discussion, except for the subject matter. Jacob had finally proposed, and Renesmee had accepted. Alice, Rosalie, Bella, and Renesmee were beginning the wedding plans while Jacob and I tried our best to become invisible so that we could slip inconspicuously away. Alice, as usual, had aligned herself diametrically opposite from where Jacob and Renesmee stood against the refrigerator so they didn't interfere with her vision.

"I thought Mom's wedding dress would—" began Renesmee.

"No!" "Absolutely not!" Rosalie and Alice both responded with horror. I felt horrified as well, horrified that I had to listen to this discussion. Weren't fathers of the bride traditionally allowed to sit on the sidelines? The perfectly formed image of a turbine engine appeared in my head, then began rotating around its vertical axis. Jacob had just finished his B.S. in mechanical engineering, and he was desperately trying to be in another place.

"What's wrong with—" began Renesmee again.

"EVERYTHING!" Alice's eyes were glazing over in shock. "Bella and Edward – their wedding – your dad – it won't be right for you. Or Jacob."

Rosalie turned to look at Alice in astonishment. "Jacob is not a consideration in this wedding." _What? Does she want some kind of Quileute…no. No. Over my dismembered and burning limbs._

The now partially-dissected and exploded view of the turbine abruptly disappeared, and I heard a snide comment forming in Jacob's head. I stepped on his foot. He had agreed with Renesmee that, until the wedding was over, no wrangling with Rose. Unfortunately, my action did not go unnoticed by the ladies present. Three pairs of golden eyes and one set of chocolate swiveled to my face. All of them were narrowed in disgust. I put my hands up in mock surrender and prepared for an onslaught of feminine outrage. Just like Jacob to get _me_ into trouble.

"Wait, wait, wait," said Bella suddenly, whirling on Alice. "You didn't. You couldn't. You can't see Jacob and Renesmee."

Alice had an altogether too-innocent look on her tiny face. "I don't know what you mean, Bella."

"Aunt Alice! Have you already purchased the _wedding dress_?" Renesmee was reaching the limit of her soprano range. It was inevitable, with my anger issues and Bella's temper, that Renesmee could throw the mother of all tantrums.

"Not _the_ wedding dress," Alice admitted with no trace of guilt. "I bought four. I couldn't see which one you would love, so—"

Alice's eyes unfocused, and we were both suddenly transported across an ocean to a familiar stone turret. The vision had no sound, but consisted of a still with Aro, Demetri and Felix. Others were present but appeared out-of-focus, as if their presence in that moment was still undecided. Aro was clearly imparting some information to the others. This vision was followed immediately by a second, now in a rainforest. Demetri and Felix were travelling on foot, accompanied by three others I did not recognize. All were clothed in the usual Volturi garb. The third still image was the most disturbing. Demetri was in a bed with an unfamiliar human woman, her face contorted with pain. The vision had the hazy quality of a distant future.

"The decision has been made," whispered Alice, gripping the countertop she had been leaning against before the vision began. "We have to warn Nahuel."

"More than one decision," I said. My voice didn't shake, but I wasn't sure how it had held steady.

Jacob shook his head. "Umm, could you two try to speak in normalese?"

"We need the whole family," I said. I didn't want to have this discussion twice.

_Oh, please. Edward the drama queen strikes again._ Rosalie called _me_ a drama queen?

Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Emmett had been in other parts of the house, involved in their own activities, but they must have heard enough of our conversation to be aware when the topic had abruptly changed. Carlisle appeared at the kitchen doorway and motioned us into the dining room. We all filed in and took seats at the table. Carlisle took the head, as usual, with Esme on his left and me on his right. Alice and Jasper sat by Esme, Bella by me, Jacob between Bella and Renesmee, then Rosalie and Emmett at the far end of the table. I could hear each voice except Bella's. Primarily I heard confusion. Rosalie was radiating annoyance; we had interrupted her plans for the day.

"Tell us what happened," said Carlisle, addressing Alice.

"I had a vision. Aro has finally decided to pursue Joham," said Alice. "I don't know if he has any interest in Nahuel. I can't see him." She was in great distress.

"There's more," I said. "Aro was fascinated by Renesmee, by the possibility of the half-vampire children when we had our standoff. He contemplated this even then: an attempt to create new hybrids, ones fathered by gifted members of the Volturi guard, raised to be loyal to the Volturi. He knows the hybrids will be invisible to Alice. They could be an integral part of a strategy to destroy us and our allies, one by one."

"You're speculating," said Alice. "I can't be sure about motivations."

"You saw Demetri as well," I said bleakly. I didn't really want to share this part of the vision. Alice was beyond my protection, but Esme, Renesmee and Bella did not need to see this. Rosalie's love for babies and children would make it twice as bad for her.

"What about Demetri?" growled Jasper. Over the years, Emmett, Jasper and I had privately discussed trying to kill Demetri. As the premier vampire tracker, he posed the greatest threat to Alice. One of Aro's dearest wishes was to have Alice as a member of the his guard, willing or not.

"Part of the vision, in my opinion, suggested that Demetri was going to try to impregnate a human," I said. The statement was as void of emotional impact as I could make it.

"He could have been trying to feed," said Alice. But from her thoughts, she was not convinced I was wrong. "In any case, that part of the vision was indistinct, so Aro is still considering. The vision may change."

Carlisle steepled his fingers, and rested his chin against his hands. "I think we need more information before we can accept that you are right, Edward. Your conclusions may be logical and based upon things you heard in Aro's thoughts, but that was a long time ago. This trip by the Volturi could be unrelated, or merely a fact-finding mission. Can you see the outcome of the mission, Alice?"

Alice closed her eyes. I could feel her searching for Demetri. She could not find anything in the near future yet past the time of his run in the rain forest. She switched to Felix, and again nothing was visible.

"I can't see anything in the near future. It's like they disappear in the jungles of South America," Alice moaned in frustration.

"The sisters," said Bella suddenly. "Nahuel has three sisters, and they form a coven with Joham. Alice can't see anything with them involved. It's like when I went cliff-diving." I had a jolt of pain at that thought. That time had been in the back of my mind as well. Aro's fascination with our family was a result of a series of errors, mostly made by me. Even the mistakes made by Bella (cliff-diving) and Rosalie (just being Rosalie) were my fault.

"We have to warn Nahuel," repeated Alice.

"Yes," agreed Renesmee. She and Nahuel had a friendship, of sorts. It was difficult for our daughter to approve of his lifestyle since Nahuel and his aunt preyed on humans for food. Jacob had a lot of problems with the friendship; first, he was philosophically opposed to using humans as food, and second, he found Nahuel to be as irritating as I had once found Jacob. Imagine that.

"How do we find him?" wondered Esme. "He and Huilen have never taken well to technology. I doubt we can just call him up on a cell phone."

Carlisle considered. "Perhaps Alice and Jasper can travel to South America, meet up with the Amazons, and then locate Nahuel. They found him before."

"I don't know if I want Alice on the same continent as Demetri when he is invisible to us," disagreed Jasper. "She and Bella should go somewhere safe, away from our usual homes." Only under Bella's shield would Alice be invisible to Demetri.

"I'll go," said Emmett. He would never back down from a possible fight, unless it was with Rosalie.

"If you go, I go," said Rosalie.

"We saw five Volturi in the vision," I said. "You two can't go alone. We can't ask the Amazons to fight Felix and Demetri, if it comes to that."

"I didn't say I wouldn't go, just that Alice shouldn't go," volunteered Jasper.

"You can't make that decision for me," retorted Alice. "You need me to find him. And it might help me practice."

"Practice what?" asked Carlisle.

"Looking for holes in my vision. The empty spaces which indicate interference from the hybrids."

In the end, six of us went: Alice, Bella, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and me. Bella came to protect us from Demetri's gifts. Renesmee and Jacob would have interefered with Alice, and Jacob would have had trouble with the other vampires in any case. The Amazons added three to our number, and so we were nine when we stumbled across Nahuel. He had been stoically unsurprised at the developments. He held no affection for Joham.

The biggest shock was when it was all over. We found Joham's remains, such as they were. And evidence that the three sisters were gone. The scent trails indicated they had left with the Volturi. We could not be sure at the time whether they were specimens for study, prisoners, or willing accomplices. Nahuel was incensed, but there was really no action we could take. Our entire family and all its allies would not be enough to storm Volterra, if indeed the sisters were in need of rescue. Some weeks later, back at home, Alice realized she could not see Aro, Caius, or Demetri at all. Only then did we understand why the Volturi wanted the three hybrid females. They were shields against Alice. We couldn't spy on their plans, and we wouldn't detect Demetri until he was upon us.

For eight years now, we had lived under extreme pressure. Alice searched for holes in her visions. I listened for intruders; a three-mile advantage was better than nothing. The werewolves patrolled without ceasing. For eight years, we had not been approached by the Volturi that we knew of. We had moved twice, mostly because of the curiosity of the FBI agent. Alice and I travelled the world, helping other allied covens check for breaks in their defenses. Every now and again, Aro would slip and his shield would leave him uncovered. These flashes of insight had been invaluable. Decisions made while he was shielded were revealed retroactively any time he made a mistake. At those moments, Alice would freeze as the visions poured into her like a high band-width internet connection. Caius was even more careless, but his decisions were less weighty. He followed Aro's lead. Demetri had not made a mistake in eight years; we wondered if he was handcuffed to one of the sisters, searching the world as though in a vampire three-legged race.

Which brought me back to the present development. I sighed again. "I can't be sure I've detected anything. We need more information. You may think I'm being paranoid—"

_Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean everyone isn't out to get you._ I ignored Emmett's thoughts. The tone was sarcastic.

"This weekend a graduate student from Boston was here to study _Il viaggiatore_. He hasn't translated any of it yet, though. I didn't detect any deception in him, but how did he find us and the manuscript? Suddenly we have an intruder with a genuine reason to spend a lot of time near us. It's possible he's being manipulated. He would be a perfect spy, one who isn't even aware he is spying."

"Is this like your interpretation that Demetri was going to father hybrids?" asked Rosalie with a sneer. "We haven't seen any evidence that prediction has come true."

"I haven't seen any evidence that it isn't true," said Alice. "I can't find that vision again, but then I can't see anything with Demetri in it."

"Josh said he was directed here by a friend of his, another grad student but from Harvard," offered Bella. She looked worried. "I didn't really ask any other questions."

"That friend could be Demetri," said Emmett, punching one fist into his other hand and smiling evilly. "This could be our chance." Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head.

"Let's do it," said Jasper. _I've been waiting more than 20 years. This bastard is as good as ash._

I ignored my bloodthirsty brothers. "Can you see him, Alice? Josh or his friend?"

She shook her tiny head. "I don't know enough about him. Humans are hard enough when I do know them."

"He'll be here Thursday," said Bella.

Carlisle nodded. "We'll be ready. If this is some new campaign by the Volturi, we'll find out."


	6. Reflections

Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe.

AN: This chapter has a spoiler for a movie which came out in 1944. I think that might be okay. This chapter is almost all Edward and Bella, but I warn you, I don't do fluff.

Ch. 6. Reflections.

Edward, Emmett, and Jasper would have been content to spend the rest of the night discussing our strategies, prior skirmishes in this conflict, and possible motivations of the Volturi. In the absence of new information, the boys would have the same discussion again and again—I could almost recite it in my head. First, Jasper (always thinking strategy) would ask Edward what he thought Aro's most likely targets were.

"Are you sure Alice and Bella are the main goals?" Jasper asked, looking at Edward.

Next, Edward would reiterate that every move in this Cold War was aimed at neutralizing one of the two of us.

"Aro could attack us freely, whenever and wherever he liked, as long as Bella were out of the picture," said Edward. "And Aro knows that Alice can't see the hybrids. He knows everything I knew when he touched me 20 years ago. And I know that he would have given up his left arm to have Alice in the Guard. Nothing would please him more than to have all four of us join willingly, but if we won't, he wants us all destroyed. Except for Alice."

Now Emmett would add his masterful contribution.

"I still don't understand why we can't round up our allies and turn Volterra into a giant bonfire," declared Emmett. "I told you 20 years ago we should do it."

Edward rolled his eyes. "You told us last month that we should do it."

"When you're right, you're right." Emmett spoke with unabashed confidence.

Carlisle and Esme had already "retired" for the evening. I could see Alice and Rosalie resolving, as I was, to make a quick end to the discussion. Edward must have heard something of these thoughts, because he glanced at Rosalie in annoyance. She smiled sweetly back, and he grimaced. I didn't want to know what she was telling my husband.

It was my turn to try to end the discussion. I had become adept at shielding our family in a very short time when I was still a newborn; I had needed to protect everyone I loved from immediate destruction. For some reason, the motivation to share myself with Edward was not as strong. It felt strong, but it must not have had the same urgency as blocking our annihilation. Twenty years of practice, however, had made it possible for me to "deshield" for significant amounts of time, even under a certain amount of duress. The first time I had been able to deshield all the way through our lovemaking had moved to the number one spot on Edward's list of favorite nights. It was an experience worth repeating. _Edward. We have until Thursday afternoon to hone your plans._ I sent him a mental image of what I hoped we could do until morning. He did not look up immediately, since we had agreed this aspect of my gift was worth keeping a secret. I was looking at Alice, who was bouncing up and down and pulling on Jasper's sleeve.

Edward eyed Alice, using her as his excuse to end the evening. "Joshua won't be back in Wolfeboro until Thursday," he said, waving at Jasper.

"Yeah," agreed Emmett, standing swiftly. "I think Rose and I have some important business to attend to." He smirked at Edward, who shut his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. There were times when the Cullen boys showed they were really stuck in post-adolescence.

"Shall we, then," asked Edward, offering me his arm and a crooked smile that had my insides warming. We had our own house, as did Jasper and Alice. All three houses were within a minute's run (at vampire speed) through woods, which were not-so-coincidentally owned by Carlisle. Living separately provided some privacy, which was good. It was also part of our current personas; we worked together at Hunter's Crossing, but we were not supposed to be related. I imagine it would have looked odd for four unrelated couples to live in the same house.

"Do you want to race?" I asked, knowing that I was unlikely to win, unless I cheated.

"No, I think we'll cross paths with Seth, and I'd like a word with him," said Edward. "He's coming very close, we'll just get to him before he makes his turn toward the Den."

He went running into the woods, and I followed his lead. It was still amazing to me to see him run. Even this short distance through the tame forest at the edge of town, he ran with an agressiveness and a beauty which tore at me. I wanted to run with him. I wanted to hold him. The need to be with him had not lessened over the years, just as our love had not. Yet, I couldn't say that we were frozen in the euphoria of first love. Unlike conventional vampires, we had had constant change as part of our lives together: no other vampire couple had raised their own child. Renesmee's childhood, adolescence, and marriage had brought us all the usual joys and pains of parenting, with the additions of our strange lifestyle and her unique heritage. Somehow, every change in Renesmee had wrought a change in us which only strengthened our love.

My reflections were interrupted by Edward slowing. "He's coming this way; he already knows we're here."

The sand-colored wolf approached, then sat on his haunches, tongue lolling in a canine grin. While nowhere the size of Jacob, Seth was big enough to take down a moose single-handed. Or maybe an elephant. I could take down a moose, if it came right down to it.

"Hi, Seth," I said with a smile. Seth was so happy; even in the midst of these troubles, he always brought a whiff of optimism with him. The big tail thumped once on the ground, but Seth was now concentrating on Edward.

"Let Jake know it could be related to our repeat guest at the bookstore," said Edward. There was a pause. "No, not yet. Thank you, Seth."

Seth stood and took off again on his patrol, a sandy blur disappearing into the trees. I was burning with curiosity (not yet what?), but if I knew my husband, he was not ready to disclose his thoughts to me. I was sure Edward had been reserved as a human, and after 80 years of keeping secrets, holding his thoughts and feelings tightly within, he had developed some frustrating habits. I knew that he would tell me when he was ready. I just had a habit of helping him become ready.

"We can take our time getting home," said Edward. He put his arm around my shoulders, and I slid mine around his waist. "The moon is full." He pointed up.

"It is beautiful," I said. A slow stroll home suited me fine. One thing about not feeling cold and having impermeable skin, it made being outdoors much more enjoyable.

"It still has nothing on you, love," he whispered in my ear, causing a tingle to run from my ear over my entire scalp. Our honeymoon, when Edward had first insulted the moon in my favor, was one human memory which I had not allowed to fade. It might have been blurry, like watching the scratchy newsreels from World War II, but the memory was complete.

"Did you send Jake and Nessie home before the big discussion tonight?" I asked. I had been wondering why they left just before Edward confessed his worries.

"No, Jake decided that himself," he answered. "He did convince me to tell you what was going on."

"You didn't have to tell the whole family if you weren't ready," I told him. "You didn't even have to tell me, I was just worried because I knew you were worried. If you didn't want to talk, you could have stayed quiet. I would understand." Well, to a point I would. Edward squeezed my shoulders.

"Every day I am reminded how much I don't deserve you," he said. "I am glad you don't agree with me, though." He kissed me on the top of my head.

We were home now. Even at our slow speed, we easily navigated the woods in the dark. We went through the French doors which opened out into our backyard. We had a conventional 2-story, 3-bedroom house. It was all part of the act, but Esme would never have let us live there if she hadn't been pleased with its comfort. Every room was designed to relax one or both of us. The living room, where we had entered, had an entertainment center for the focal point and three very comfortable brown leather couches. Throws and accent pillows added dark reds and greens for accents. The room was masculine in tone, like an old-fashioned men's club.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked. "I haven't taken any down time for two weeks."

"That sounds good," I said. I wasn't sure what he was up to.

"Great. Pick one out, anything you like. I want to run up to the study and check a few things in the stock portfolios. I'll just be a minute or two." He disappeared up the stairs almost before the sound of his words faded.

I was glad he was thinking about mundane things in our life. Yesterday he hadn't thought about anything but being home, and he had almost frightened me with the intensity of his need. He had driven me home from work, and as soon as we had closed the front door of the house, he had pushed me against the wall and started kissing me with a ferocity I hadn't experienced since before the Volturi had visited. He hadn't finished with me until it had been time to go to Carlisle and Esme's house. I hadn't had a chance to process the experience, and then we were with the family. I hadn't had a chance to ask him what was going on. Was it his response to being gone for two weeks, or was this development with Josh and the manuscript involved? Or was he just responding to arriving to find his wife with a strange man? That reminded me, I had intended to have words with him about his behavior at the bookstore. I had not had a chance to say anything before he had taken me over. Once he had gotten started, I hadn't been able to say a word. I hadn't wanted to say a word.

I stood in front of the cabinet with our DVDs. What did I want to see? Were there any movies about husbands who kept secrets unnecessarily from their wives? The first one which came to mind was _Gaslight_, starring Ingrid Bergman. I had never seen it, but we had a lot of 1940s movies on DVD (Edward had seen a lot of them at the movie theater when they came out!). I'd read about it during a film class I had taken at Dartmouth. I found the disc, and took it to the entertainment center.

I settled down on the sofa with a book, waiting for Edward to return. I had just gotten into the first chapter of the book when I heard a faint noise behind me. I ignored it, and continued to read. A low growl started up behind me, and I had just enough time to say "Eep" when I was tackled to the floor. I was wrapped tightly in Edward's arms, and he was looking in my eyes with delight. Sometimes, he looked so young and happy when we were together. He was really beautiful. "I love you," I said. It just popped out before I could stop it. He lowered his mouth to mine, and the kiss we shared was as sweet and slow as yesterday's had been rough and demanding.

"I'm not complaining," I said as his mouth moved down to earlobe. "But didn't you want to watch a movie?" I was enjoying his mouth, the weight of his body, the crushing embrace of his arms. I was overwhelmed with his scent, and the muscles in my neck went slack. He grazed his nose across my throat.

"Yes," he finally responded. "Let's watch. It will be nice to just sit with you." We situated ourselves on the sofa, legs entwined. He hit "play," and the movie started. As soon as he saw what I had picked out, he gave me a look. "Very funny, Bella."

"What?" I asked innocently. "I've never seen it. You know how I like to experience things which are part of your life before me."

"Mmhmm."

I watched the movie intently. Edward watched, but also spent the movie fidgeting with my hair, my hands, both of our rings, and the collar of my shirt. When the movie ended, he commented, "So, the piano-playing deceptive husband goes to jail. I don't suppose you had any ulterior motives in selecting this movie."

"The piano-playing was a surprise," I laughed. "I knew about the rest of it, but I hadn't ever seen it."

Edward sighed. "I know you don't like it when I don't share. My first instinct is always to protect you, and then also Nessie. I can't stop. This development with the grad student and the manuscript—"

"His name is Josh," I interrupted.

"I know." Edward was clearly annoyed. "That brings up another issue. Did you tell any of the family about this grad student and his longterm project to be in your bookstore? Did you ever consider that with Alice and me out of the country that no one was checking out his story? You and Alice are the main targets. You have to take precautions."

"I know that. Jake came by and made sure he wasn't dangerous," I was a little put out. Between Emmett, Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, Carlisle, and Jacob checking up on me, it seemed unlikely that I was unsafe. For heaven's sake, Nessie was with me most of the time. We had excellent, even ridiculously overdone security in Bella Libri. "No one suspected that the Volturi might use human agents to spy on us. And in fact, you don't even know if it's true now."

"When I have to go away, I can't concentrate if I feel like I have to worry about you, too." This was an old discussion. I did my best to stay safe, but the reality was that Edward didn't consider me safe unless I was directly in his line of vision.

"Edward, you agreed, Jasper agreed, everyone agreed, that this arrangement made the most logical sense," I stated with emphasis. "In fact, you wouldn't agree to me going with you on these trips. And without these consulting trips, we lose all our allies. The coalition dissolves." This was another old discussion. I could have protected Alice and Edward if I went on the trips. I was worried that Demetri would find them unprotected.

Besides, this argument was not about my safety. It was about Edward's need to keep secrets. "Before you go any further, I have two questions. What is the problem with _Il __viaggiatore_, and what are Jake and Seth not supposed to do yet?"

Edward related to me the background of _Il __viaggiatore_. I knew my eyes had gotten wider and rounder during his story. Carlisle wrote it? Even now, the exploits of my family could produce shock and awe. "I was going to tell you tomorrow," he ended lamely. "I wanted to read it so I could decide whether we could permit Josh to read any more. Assuming he isn't working for the Volturi and we end up having to take more drastic measures."

"Edward Anthony Masen!" I cried in shock. The missing fourth name echoed silently in the room around us. It was a stark reminder that these were not normal times. I remembered the laundry list of forbidden words and deeds that Alice had laid before us. The FBI's investigation would be successful if we kept Renesmee's name. If any of us used "Cullen" or "Hale" for a last name. If Carlisle kept his first name or practiced medicine. He was known here as Carson Platt, successful owner of a strip mall. If we stayed together as a single family group. Edward and Alice were confident that the Volturi were behind the letter about us sent to the FBI. This seemed reasonable since no one but the Quileutes would have had access to that type of information about us. We often speculated whether the outcome of the letter was the same as the intent. While nothing concrete had materialized, we had been forced to move twice. Alice assured us that using the forbidden words would lead to necessary murder and worse.

"Yes, we don't have the same luxuries we once did," said Edward softly, holding me tightly. He wasn't reading my mind, but our missing last name affected us both the same way. "Killing another human may be wrong, but I will do it if it is necessary. It will have to be me, or maybe Jasper. I won't let any of the rest of you take that on yourselves."

"You're getting ahead of yourself," I responded. I could feel the tearless sobs building up in me. I knew intellectually that the war could come to this, but I knew Josh was innocent. If he was an innocent tool of the Volturi, could we still take his life? "I don't want you talking like this. We don't have all the evidence. We can move again, if it comes down to it. Isn't it bad enough that you're destroying his plans for his thesis?"

"Shh. I know. I don't want to. He had a good heart, even if he found you more attractive than he should have found a married woman." I knew what he was doing. He was deflecting me from talk of the war and killing.

"Edward. You can't just change the subject like that. I'm not stupid." I turned my face up to his and looked into his golden eyes. "This is more than me protecting Josh; I know what killing again will do to you. I know how you agonized over accidently even hurting me. This will shatter you."

He shook his head, his eyes still boring into mine. "Losing you or anyone in the family, that is what will shatter me. I will do what I have to do. I know Jasper would feel the same, and Emmett would too. We would do it to protect any of you. I love you more than anything. I would do anything to protect you."

"Are you saying I'm wrong and it won't hurt you?" I asked.

Edward closed his eyes. "No. You're not wrong. I don't know how I will be able to be around you afterwards. But I will know you're protected and that I took care of you." Somehow we both knew that killing Demetri would have given him nothing but satisfaction, but killing the defenseless humans was different. Our family was committed to protecting and preserving human life.

"So, if I'm right, then what we need to do is investigate further," I knew I should stop there, but I couldn't "And you should promise me that you won't do anything without discussing it first. But I won't make you promise. You'll have to decide that for yourself."

Edward opened his eyes, and his face was contorted with anguish. "I love you more than anything." He pressed his lips to me, and we lost ourselves in each other. It was morning before we stopped.


	7. Memory and Vision

Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe.

AN: This chapter has three changes of viewpoint. My pacing must not be good, because I couldn't get them all into their own chapters. This was the logical order, at least in my mind.

Ch. 7. Memory and Vision

The drive home from Wolfeboro was uneventful. I tried to concentrate on what I had learned about the manuscript, but I couldn't maintain focus. My initial disappointment that Bella was married had morphed into that cold feeling I had, one which had been persisting on and off since my mother had died and which had been a constant companion since my father's death last year. I knew this sense of loss was related to grief, but it was more than that. Grieving for my father had begun when his cancer had progressed to the terminal stage. I thought I knew what grief felt like. This was more, a sense of loss of self. _That's because you won't even think about what's bothering you._ I tamped down the annoying voice of reason in my head.

I parked my car, entered my building, and climbed the stairs up to my second floor apartment. The building was new, part of a set of apartments which had a sterility and sameness that I found somewhat repulsive. It was in a convenient location, however. I unlocked my door and went in. Nothing was here to welcome me. The furniture was as sterile and generic as the building, all bought hurriedly so that I would have something other than four walls, a floor, and a ceiling. No art graced the walls. No photographs were on the tables. The off-white carpet didn't even have stains as yet. The only thing out of place in the entire room was the pile of student papers on the coffee table. My sense of loss deepened to include the weight of unwanted responsibility. I checked the time on my cell phone and sighed. I supposed that if I ordered in Chinese food and made a large pot of coffee that I could finish these by midnight.

When Sunday dawned, my eyes opened to the light streaming in through the slits in the bedroom blinds. I rolled over and looked at the clock radio. Not yet seven in the morning, and I had a whole Sunday to fill. I was regretting finishing my grading the night before. Nothing was planned, there was no one to see, no one I wanted to call. I would have to find enough activities to prevent myself from listening to my own thoughts or having the memories of recent years intrude unwanted on my mind. I threw on clothes and grabbed my gym bag to head to the pool.

Monday morning found me in Dr. Howeson's office for our weekly meeting to discuss my research progress. I hadn't told her about the manuscript in Wolfeboro since last week I hadn't yet seen it with my own eyes. Dr. Howeson was an attractive brunette, in her early fifties. I had admired her literary analysis when I was an undergraduate, and I had jumped at the chance to work with her. We had a cordial relationship, and I had learned a lot from her about analysis.

"I have good news," I told her. This was the only thing I had been looking forward to since Saturday afternoon. "I got to see the _Il viaggiatore_ manuscript, in person."

"Josh! That's amazing! Did Signore Alberto Raffaelo Orresino finally relent?" Signore Orresino was the reclusive collector in Volterra who had answered none of my calls or letters in the past nine months. Come to think of it, I didn't know who the owner of the Wolfeboro manuscript was, so it was vaguely possible that Bella had his copy.

"Not as far as I know. I found the third copy up in New Hampshire."

At that moment, Dr. Howeson's phone rang. She put up a finger to me and answered her phone. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out. It was Randall. I hit "Ignore." I had a certain amount of resentment toward him, even though my romantic disaster was not his fault. My mind wandered while Dr. Howeson continued her call. There was a question I had been planning to ask her for some time. She had suggested that this manuscript was a great thesis project since no one had thoroughly analyzed its origins and the influences that had led to its writing. But what had led her to suggest that I research a manuscript with one very poorly preserved copy and two others which were essentially unavailable? She hung up the phone and looked up to me.

"Where were we, Josh?"

"Actually, I was wondering. What brought this manuscript to your attention in the first place?"

"Hmm. It is strange." Dr. Howeson leaned back in her chair and looked at the ceiling for a moment. "When I was working on the Bram Stoker's _Dracula_ analysis I looked at anything which predated it but referred to vampire mythology. I had found a reference which suggested that _Il viaggiatore_ detailed vampire behavior, but the current copy in Milan is so damaged that it can no longer be confirmed. I thought that if you could track down one of the other copies, you would have a tremendous thesis. Even if there is no reference to vampires in the manuscript, it will make a good thesis since no analysis has been done before."

I looked at her in amazement. "Are you serious?"

"That _is_ how it happened. I thought we had talked about this before." She looked a bit puzzled. I knew that typically she was so busy she didn't remember details of our previous conversations.

"No, I would have remembered that." I wasn't upset, exactly. This revelation was so far from what I had been expecting her to say that I didn't know how to respond. I was researching a Renaissance science fiction manuscript?

I finished updating her about what I had learned. I was in a daze for the rest of the day, through teaching my classes and eating lunch in my office. Randall called two more times, but did not leave any messages. Tomorrow night was the monthly lit society meeting, so I assumed we would see each other there. I was still trying to absorb the fact that my own thesis was not what I thought it had been. It was like I had been planning to study Plato but accidentally was assigned _Chariots of the Gods_. The graduate office emptied out around six, but I stayed to work through the notes I had taken over the weekend. I didn't go home until after 10 p.m.

When I got to my door, there were two notes taped to it. The first note was from Randall. "JC – I was looking for a drinking buddy, but I guess you're still working. –RSJ." It was odd. He hadn't left me a phone message, he hadn't sent a text message, and he hadn't sent email. Why would he drop by my apartment? I opened the second note and had my second shock of the day. The note read "Dropped by to say hi. Sylvia." I felt like I had been punched in the gut. My concern about Randall's strange behavior was immediately forgotten in the threatening nausea. Every repressed memory, every thought I had been avoiding surfaced and threatened to overwhelm me. I wrenched open the door and ran to the bathroom.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Edward drove us to work Monday morning, I tried to list in my mind all the evasions he had made since he had returned from Ireland. He had never addressed my question about what he had been saying to Seth. "Not yet"? What was he planning? I also felt that his trip to his study before we had watched _Gaslight_ had been another evasion. The most disturbing of all was that he had chosen not to promise me he would discuss his next moves with me. He was planning something, and he fully intended to keep it a secret. Dazzling as he was, I was not fooled. I reached over and put my hand on the back of his.

I thought of several ways to bring up his evasions, but everything I rehearsed in my head sounded like nagging. I reminded myself that he was the one in the wrong, in spite of his good intentions. In the end, I determined that I had already made my efforts to drag this out of him and now it was up to him. Or perhaps I could mention something to Carlisle. Maybe Alice knew already and would tell me. Maybe I was going to beat it out of him.

The day was beautiful, a bright, sunny day which hinted at the spring which was yet to come. The weather wasn't warm yet, but I no longer felt the cold, so I could just enjoy the sun, at least, the part which could make it through our darkly tinted windows. The weather meant I would be spending the entire workday in our underground store. Edward pulled into our protected parking area, and we both hurried into the employee entrance. Even though we were out of the direct sun, he worried about reflected rays hitting us. I didn't think there was anyone around this morning, but I supposed good habits could prevent later accidents. Alice and Jasper were already here, and Esme's car was also parked in her usual spot. It was still about an hour before any of our shops opened. It was funny, the shops were really just more window dressing on our human cover story, but all three of them were still making money. Edward said it was a miracle that a used bookstore hidden in the basement of a little strip mall managed to keep raking in money.

"I'm going to talk with Jasper and Alice a bit. Do you want me to help you open up?" Edward was ever the gentleman. About some things.

"No, I'm fine. What are you going to talk about?" I asked.

"Alice and I are going to play 'what if' for a moment," he answered. "I'm going to pull surveillance photos of Josh from last week's tapes to help her focus."

"All right, that sounds like productive fun." I smiled at him. I realized I wasn't mad at him. He would tell me when he was ready.

The morning progressed like any morning at the store. I dealt with email, online orders on the website, corresondence, and three customers who spent enough to keep the store open for at least another month. Esme dropped by to let me know she was going to end up with three boxes of books from an estate sale she had cleaned out. Most of the pieces she had bought were for her antique store, but her shopping usually led to nice profits for Bella Libri.

At lunch, Nessie came in with a confused look on her face. "Where are Dad and Jacob going? They tore out of the parking lot like the devil himself was after them."

"I have no idea," I answered, fuming. _Now_ I was mad at him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As I drove us to Hunter's Crossing for the day, I knew Bella was not fooled. Her face was as easy to read as it had ever been, even if her mind was closed to me. She was scheming about how to get me to spill to her, but she probably thought she had more than a few hours to do her work. I wasn't planning to give her the chance. Renesmee was in class all morning, so if Jacob had made her suspicious, she wouldn't have a chance to let Bella know.

I parked, and hurried her into the employee entrance. Bella still didn't take normal precautions of vampire life as seriously as I would have liked.

"I'm going to talk with Jasper and Alice a bit. Do you want me to help you open up?" I knew she would say "no." It was rare for her to demand anything from me. Even the promise to discuss everything with her had not been a demand.

"No, I'm fine. What are you going to talk about?" She was definitely suspicious.

"Alice and I are going to play 'what if' for a moment," I answered. "I'm going to pull surveillance photos of Josh from last week's tapes to help her focus." There was nothing untrue in my statement.

"All right, that sounds like productive fun." She gave me her special Bella smile. She was going to be very mad, but I knew she would forgive me quickly. It was her way, one of the products of the beauty of her soul.

I left her and found Jasper and Alice already waiting down by the vault. If we went inside, we were sound-proofed even from vampire ears, as long as we didn't talk too loudly. I could hear everyone in the building. Esme was humming to herself and arranging a new display. With the shades down, she could work at vampire speed. Jacob was across the street in his service station working on a car. He was bored; the work was too easy for him.

"I found everything I could on this Joshua Clemson," said Jasper. His computer skills were far superior to my own. "You'll be interested to know that he has had a tough year, according to the law. He was arrested for theft about a year ago, but the charges were eventually dropped. And then he was arrested for assault, but those charges were also dropped. He still has a restraining order from one Sylvia Deeb Clemson, no contact within 100 feet of her or her residence."

"That's," I couldn't think of the right word. I had been in his mind for only a short time, but this information was completely incongruent with what I knew. "That's weird," I ended lamely.

"You let a criminal spend time with your wife," teased Alice.

"Hmm, yes," said Jasper, eyeing me. He was surprised I wasn't more upset. "He _is_ a graduate student in literature, with a B.A. in English. He's well into his second year of graduate school, but he took a year off between his first and second years. His father passed away during that year. He has lived in Atlanta all his life, until college. Well, except for all the travelling he did. His homeland security records show he travelled extensively in Europe during his high school years. That ended about the time his father remarried to one Sylvia Elaine Deeb."

"That doesn't sound good," I said. A few things were beginning to click into place, and I didn't want them to. Joshua was nothing to me, except for possibly a liability, collateral damage in our war with the Volturi. But the flash of pain he'd had before leaving us on Saturday came back to me.

"The theft charges were about pieces of art he allegedly stole," added Jasper. "You don't want to find out he's an art thief when you're letting him sit with Carson's manuscript." I could hear Carlisle's true name in Jasper's mind. None of us had an easy time calling him anything else. I could hear all of us calling Renesmee "Nessie," but that was more natural. In our minds, Carlisle was always Carlisle.

"Did you pull a photo of him?" I asked, hearing the answer before he spoke.

"I have two, both from our surveillance footage. They're pretty good, I think." Jasper handed me the two printouts. They were good likenesses.

"Okay, little squirt. That leaves your part of this effort," I looked at Alice. "If we're lucky, this will be easy, no migraines."

Alice stuck out her tongue at me. She was a good sport, but I knew she had been hurt more than any of us by the conflict. The knowledge that Aro wanted her to the extent that he would have happily disposed of the rest of the family put her under tremendous pressure.

Jasper put a hand on her shoulder. "Just take it easy, Lis."

Alice looked at the two photos. "Okay, make your decision Edward." She closed her eyes. _Me first, though._

The first decision was always Alice's. It took less than a second to hear her resolve to turn herself in to the Volturi. The images which flashed through both of us were the same as they had been for nearly eight years: Alice, with crimson eyes. Jasper, fighting alone in Italy to his own destruction against Demetri and Felix. The rest of the family torn apart one by one. I heard her change her mind as she decided once again to remain with us; apparently the Volturi's plans for us had not changed yet.

Alice and I had reviewed these visions often enough, at least once a week, that our emotional responses were almost gone. We used to hide from Jasper during these "what-if" sessions since he would have felt our horror. Now it was relatively safe. No one else knew what we had both contemplated since the beginning. Since Aro never appeared in these visions, even Alice didn't know that his desire for me was as strong as his need for her. I could take care of myself.

Now I resolved to turn myself in to Aro. The next images were familiar as well, although we had seen this outcome for only a few years. I was in a stone room, my eyes black as bottomless pits, a human woman in the room with me. The image bifurcated. In the one case, I ripped out the woman's throat and satisfied my thirst. In the second, I satisfied a different need, and was rewarded with the chance to feed on animals. How many ways would I betray Bella if I tried to save her by joining the Volturi guard? The visions continued. Unlike Jasper, Bella could not leave the family since she was essential to their defense. Unfortunately, she could only provide defense against a mental attack. Felix ripping her beautiful neck with his teeth was all it took to change my mind. I would stay with the family for another day.

I closed my eyes, and focused on my plan to go _alone_ to Boston this afternoon to locate Joshua. I would stay in my car. I would listen for his mind, waiting for any stray thoughts about us and about how he had found us.

"It's safe," said Alice. "I see you following him, but he doesn't notice. Oh, you want to get out of the car and check something out, but the sun is out all day. And now your afternoon has disappeared."

"Sorry," I apologized. "I accidentally decided to take Jacob to help out with the out-of-car portions of the mission. Can you see me back at home tonight?"

"Hmm. I see you returning home, but it's after midnight. And Bella is furious, by the way. You're picking her up from Carson and Esme's on your way home." Alice laughed. "Don't worry too much, you'll take care of it."

"And you'll watch her today, make sure she doesn't go home alone?" I asked anxiously. I couldn't stop myself.

"Jazz and I have it covered," assured Alice. _I'll watch for you, too, and that _will_ give me a migraine._

Jasper ruffled Alice's hair in affection. _Bella will be safer here than you will be. We still don't know how close the Volturi are with this Joshua._

"Jacob and I will be fine," I answered. "Alice sees me coming home, how bad can it be?"

AN: If you've made it this far, don't you want to let me know how you think it's coming along? Too dark? Does it need an "M" for dark themes?


	8. Stakeout

Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe.

Ch. 8. Stakeout

It was nearly noon, and soon Nessie would be joining Bella in the bookstore. Jacob was just finishing up with a customer. I sent him a text message to meet me at the car for our road trip. _Coming, DBS. Be there in 5 seconds._ DBS? I'm sure I would find out before too long. I said good-bye to Jasper and slipped out to my vehicle. As always, I felt a twinge of annoyance when I looked at my car. We had all agreed that with the FBI on alert, it was best if only Carlisle owned what I considered to be acceptable vehicles. I had bought a Mercedes convertible only two months before that decision, and I had only driven it about once every three months since. My fuel cell-powered, sensible family vehicle with the solar-active paint job was not a sacrifice in the way that Carlisle's giving up medicine was a sacrifice. Still, I winced internally every time I approached it. I had been so used to loving my cars.

I got into the driver's seat, and as I was closing the door, Jacob poured himself into the passenger side, rolling the seat back as far as it could go. He was dressed similarly to me, clothes which would blend in on a college campus. We both wore jeans, me with a pale blue button-down and him with a t-shirt and plaid shirt unbuttoned over the top. We both had baseball caps. Jacob also carried a giant paper bag, which he put into the back seat.

"What was that?" I asked, nodding at the bag in the backseat.

"Oh, just some snacks. We're road-tripping and going on surveillance," he said with a big grin. "Beef jerky, powdered donuts, nacho cheese Doritos, and 2 liters of coke."

"I would think as a Native American and a sometime-wolf, you would prefer foods with a little less processing and a little more nutrition."

"I like these foods. Besides, Carl—I mean, Carson thinks my natural healing abilities mean that I won't get clogged arteries no matter what I eat. Think of it as an experiment for his sake."

"You are _not_ eating powdered donuts in my car."

"You don't even like this car. Besides, I have detailing at the shop. We'll get it clean." Jacob's grin got even bigger. "Seth would be overjoyed to detail your car."

I fumed in annoyance. He was right. I didn't like the car, and it could be easily cleaned. Clenching my teeth, I tore out of the parking lot. Nessie was pulling in, and I heard the curiosity in her mind. I heard her tell Bella what she had seen, and then I lost her. The afternoon was not beginning well. I knew that when we got back, Bella would want to know why I couldn't wait three days until when Josh returned on Thursday.

Jacob looked at me, wrinkled his nose, and casually rolled the window down about 4 inches. He leaned his head slightly into the wind.

"I suppose if you phased, you could hang your head out the window and drool."

"Good one, DBS. I just can't hold my breath indefinitely like you can." I could tell Jacob was deliberately not thinking about what DBS stood for; I was not going to ask. And I was _not_ going to try to figure it out.

Jacob started fiddling with the radio controls. "How about this?" He had found a station with jazz fusion. I glared at him. I knew he didn't like this either, although his dislike came nowhere near my abhorrence. Jazz fusion was not jazz. Music should go somewhere, not spin in pointless circles.

"Driver's choice," I growled, switching it to an oldies station playing eighties new wave.

We had been hurtling down the highway for about 15 minutes when Jacob asked "So, why exactly are _we_ on this trip? I mean, you could have taken Emmett or Jasper. Bella could have shielded you from this super-tracker leech."

"None of them can go out in the sun safely," I answered. "I don't want Bella involved to this level. And Emmett and Jasper are needed to protect the family. That left you."

"You could have asked Seth." Jacob was being persistent. I could tell he was truly curious about this; we usually didn't choose to spend time with just the two of us. It was odd, because we really didn't dislike each other. In fact, spending time with Jacob had some benefits – he never joked about my sex life, and he _never_ brought up his own.

I cut to the heart of the matter. "If another human was a threat to Nessie and our family, would you kill him?"

"I thought vampire memories were infallible," Jacob answered in a cold voice. We both relived one of our worst memories, when Jacob chose to stand against his pack to protect Bella when she was pregnant with Renesmee. I felt his readiness to fight and to kill his own brothers.

"You may think it's just my arrogance, but I don't want Seth to be forced to make that decision if I can help it," I said. I had already killed, so many times I should have lost count, but my perfect memory didn't permit that.

"You don't mind your son-in-law being forced to kill?"

"You're the Alpha." It was reasonable. Jacob would have made the same decision, I knew, and I heard the confirmation in his head. He would protect the pack. I would protect my family. Sometimes, it was the same thing.

"There is another reason," I added. "You don't smell like a vampire." _You can say that again._ "If one of us needs to get out of the car, you won't leave our calling card for whomever may be looking." _Unless they would recognize werewolf._

"You know, I'm not really comfortable in cities," pointed out Jacob some miles later. _Phasing is not really an option._ "I wouldn't think you'd like them much either."

"I was born and raised in Chicago."

"Yeah, but where's the food for _you_ in a city."

"It doesn't take me that long to get out into wilderness," I answered shortly. "And I don't have to feed every day. Once a week is usually sufficient." Other thoughts of feeding in a city came to me. I had spent time in Boston, long ago. I wasn't sure if Jacob knew about that side of me, and I wasn't planning to bring it up.

"Hey, why was the rich vampire sad?"

I could hear the punchline in his head, but I sighed and said "I don't know. Why?"

"Because they wouldn't let him make a deposit at the blood bank." Jacob pulled out the nacho cheese chips. The kind with the nuclear-yellow cheese powder which would grind into carpet. I gritted my teeth. The smell was abominable. Was it possible for vampires to become car sick? Thank all that was holy, we were nearly there, already entering the campus.

"Jasper looked up Joshua's teaching schedule," I informed Jacob. "He has a class in about 10 minutes in the third building on the left."

"What exactly are we looking for?"

"I'm going to listen in, see if I can figure out how he ended up in Wolfeboro. And we have some other questions about him as well." I filled Jacob in on Joshua's criminal record. "And we may have to move the car in a hurry. I didn't have time to forge a parking sticker." I parked the car in a lot next to Joshua's building.

I found Josh's mind quickly enough. There were only five classes going on in the building, so it was easy to strain out the mental voices of the students and find those who were leading the classes. He was leading a discussion on existentialism, with examples drawn from Sartre and Camus. It was fairly elementary, and I could ignore the bulk of what he was discussing. He was fully engaged in the material, except for a need he had to avoid looking at one of the female students. I caught a glimpse of her in his mind, and with some effort I was able to locate her from her viewpoint of him. She had a fairly creative mind, and after I realized how determined she was, I quickly ignored her.

"He's going to be busy until at least three," I told Jacob. "He's not thinking about anything we want to know, unless you want to discuss the play _No Exit_." Jacob rolled his eyes, then pulled out the coke and the beef jerky. I realized I had never been in an enclosed space with beef jerky before. It wasn't pleasant.

"I've been meaning to ask you," started Jacob. _Why haven't we just stormed Volterra? You just brush off Emmett every time he suggests it. Why don't we just try taking them out? And why haven't they just launched a full-scale attack on us?_

"As long as you realize I'm mostly guessing," I began. _Sure, sure. It's not like you're calling them up and asking them. Although, couldn't you pull this little stunt on them? Drive up near Volterra with Bella shielding you and just listen in?_ I had thought of that. If it didn't put the two of us right where Aro wanted us, it would have been a good idea. It might _still _be a good idea. "I don't want Bella so close to any of the Volturi."

I began again. "As I was going to say, as immortals, the concept of time is not the same for us. It could be decades before the first major offensive is launched. If it is ever launched. This may just be the new world order for immortals, a constant chess game between us and them. It wouldn't be unusual. Covens in the south of this country still play that game, just not on the same scale."

"I remember Jasper talking about them," mused Jacob. "They're not really on our side, not really on the Volturi's side, either. I suppose we should worry about whether they'll take advantage of this new order." A thought flitted through his head about taking an extended southern vacation with the pack and wiping out some of the offending covens.

"It won't affect us," I said off-handedly. Classes were changing now, and Joshua appeared to have a free hour. I followed his thoughts, but he was choosing to review a text in a classroom while he waited for his students to show up. His mind was surprisingly focused for a human, with few stray thoughts intervening. This could be a problem. "Covens in the south are rarely larger than three or four. They can't get much bigger because there are trust issues among normal vampires. Jasper, Emmett, and I could take out any one coven if we needed to."

I scanned quickly through the minds around me, looking for anything extraordinary. Vampire minds didn't sound the same as human ones due to their complexity. Nothing jumped out at me. No one had noticed us in our illegal parking spot, but I could hear a parking attendant checking stickers in the next lot over. We might have to leave before he arrived and circle back around. It wouldn't do to get caught.

"If you don't think they're going to launch an offensive, they're probably not expecting you to, either. Wouldn't you have the element of surprise if you went after them now?" Jacob did have a more elemental view of the world than my own.

"You saw how many there are in the guard," I answered. "They outnumber our family 3 to 1. We can't win. For now, we have to hope they don't launch a full-out attack. We have to continue to play defense."

"Obviously you would need your allies," pointed out Jacob. _Unpleasant as they were._ "You won last time because the numbers were more even." _Of course, 17 enormous werewolves helped out there. I doubt I could convince the packs to travel to Italy. Although…the end of vampires as we know them. It could be worth it._

"The other problem with being immortal is that we don't feel anyone is expendable. The loss of any of us is a burden we will feel literally forever." This was the worst of it, and the part which affected our family more than any coven, more than the Volturi. "If Carlisle lost Esme, we would probably lose him, too. Jasper would try to avenge Alice. You know I would not outlive Bella if anything were to happen to her. Emmett wouldn't think twice. He would try to take out as many as he could to end himself. Rosalie won't think about it, but she wouldn't want this existence without Emmett."

_He didn't say what Alice or Bella would do. Hmm. Guess he doesn't want to think about that. Possibly leaving them alone in that kind of pain._ I closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about that.

Jacob's mind wandered to Renesmee and the questions of expendability and immortality. Their marriage had brought them so much joy, but there were unanswered questions about their future. We still didn't know if they could have children. It wasn't clear what Renesmee's lifespan was, if she and the other hybrids were immortal like vampires or something less. Nahuel was about 170 years of age, and he did not appear to have aged past 22. That was Renesmee's apparent age as well, or thereabouts. And Jacob? How long could he maintain his apparent age of about 26? He had excellent control, so he could start aging whenever he stopped phasing regularly. But could he extend his life into forever to stay with Renesmee?

We sat in silence for a time. I ignored Jacob, as far as I was able. He was thinking about Renesmee and their life together.

Joshua was teaching his second class now. It was the same material as his first class, but he remained as focused as before. The only difference was a need he had to do better the second time through than he had done in the earlier lecture. I tuned him out.

"So, why was the werewolf afraid of the exhibitionist vampire?" I figured I could give Jake a taste of his own medicine.

"I dunno. Why?"

"He didn't want to get mooned."

Jake looked at me like I wasn't from the same planet. "You know, that wasn't funny."

"Are you saying _your_ jokes are funny?"

"My jokes are classic."

"That does _not_ make them funny." We sat in semi-annoyed silence.

"DBS – I've got to find a restroom," said Jake after some time had passed.

"Fine." I popped the trunk. "There's a backpack in the trunk. It'll help you fit in."

Jacob slipped out of the car. I felt the trunk slam, much harder than was necessary. _Sorry. I'm going in his building, see if anyone with thirst issues has been inside recently._

I followed along through Jacob's eyes, although he was making liberal use of his olfactory sense as well. I could appreciate that. There was no evidence of any recent vampire activity. This didn't tell us much; Bella had said Josh's friend was from Harvard. Jacob passed outside the classroom where Joshua was lecturing, pulling his hat down so he wouldn't be recognized. Still no signs of…anyone with…thirst issues. Heaven help me. I backed out of his head when he entered the men's room. I tapped on the steering wheel. This was not working. There was something wrong with Joshua – he had problems, big ones, but he wasn't thinking about any of them. Was a year long enough to completely erase your thoughts about being arrested? He hadn't thought about his thesis at all; I would have thought his time at Bella Libri and the friend who sent him there would have at least passed through his mind. We needed a name. I needed to see a face. I was going to have to prompt Joshua to think appropriate thoughts.

The car door flew open and Jacob spilled into his seat. "Nothing interesting to speak of in there. Unless you count a lot of underdressed co-eds. Which I certainly don't."

I shot Jacob a withering look. "This is not working."

"What do you mean? I thought we were getting along fine." He actually looked a little hurt.

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about our surveillance. Joshua hasn't thought once about what we need to know."

"What do you want to do?" _I've got nothing. Not really in my skill set._

"I'm thinking." Usually I was just scanning what a person thought about. I couldn't think of a time when I'd had to manipulate them to think about a particular topic without them knowing I was there.

The sun was setting, and Joshua was leaving his class. His plan was to work in his office until late. This gave me an idea.

"We can go to his apartment and leave a note," I said.

"A note? Like what? 'Hi, do you mind thinking about your friend who sent you to Wolfeboro? Sincerely, Mr. Werewolf and Mr. Vampire?'"

"If I wanted unconstructive criticism masquerading as humor I would have brought Emmett." I waited for the retort, but it appeared that Jacob had no comeback.

"I was actually thinking more on the lines of 'Dropped by to say hi' and then a name. The problem is that I only have one name – his stepmother Sylvia. I can't be sure that will get him to think of anything useful." I was frustrated, and starting running my fingers through my hair.

"All right!" said Jacob with enthusiasm. "We've got a plan. Let's go!" _And quit obsessing._

I pulled out of the parking lot. I guessed, from Joshua's vague plans, we had about two and half hours to take care of the note. Then we would be waiting around outside the apartment until Joshua came home.

"Do we have time to stop for some food?"

"What do you want now? Peanuts in the shell? Exploding chili dogs?" What other food detritus could he broadcast in my car?

_Geez. Jump on a guy for being hungry._ "I was thinking more like a hamburger. Or two. Maybe some fries or onion rings. I like chocolate milkshakes."

I banged my head on the steering wheel. "You eat inside the restaurant." I pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall. It had a burger place on the street side of the parking lot and an office supply store on the strip. "I'm going shopping for stationery."

Thirty minutes later we pulled into a street parking place near Joshua's apartment building. I had bought tape and a pale cream thick stationery I thought looked feminine. I wrote out the note, and stuck a piece of tape on it.

"Now you just have to go in and stick it to his door."

Jacob nodded. "And then we hope that there's no one around who can recognize werewolf."

"How long do you think it will take your scent trail to dissipate?"

"Depends on who's looking," Jacob said thoughtfully. "I can find Seth's trail in the woods after at least a week. I can follow your trail—well, any vampire's—even after two weeks, but it's faint. Renesmee's scent lasts longer to me, but she can't find mine after four or five days. I don't know what it's like in a city, though. The worst will be in the apartment building. There's probably not great ventilation or foot traffic."

"That's about what I was thinking. Well, we have to take some chances."

Jacob looked at me and cocked an eyebrow. "We don't really. We can wait until Thursday and get Bella to have some casual conversation with him."

I looked at my watch. "We have about 15 minutes to make a decision, and then he'll probably be on his way home. We could learn something from checking out his apartment building that we couldn't learn just from his thoughts."

"We could do this in a week after you check him out."

"I can't believe you're the one being cautious."

"Oh, I'm ready to go in," said Jacob a little fiercely. "I was just surprised that you gave such a ridiculous argument for why we're doing this." _I'm doing it because it's time to take action. This is our first chance to actually fight back._

"I guess that's what I'm feeling, too." It was a little maddening to find that Jacob understood his own motivations better than I knew mine.

"Okay. Give me the note." Jacob took the note, put his baseball cap on, and headed into the apartment building. I followed his progress. He went up the stairs rather than use the elevator, but when he got out on Joshua's floor, he was hit with a familiar scent. It wasn't vampire, and it wasn't human. _Crap. It's a hybrid. Someone_ has _been here, within the past day. This is gonna be interesting. Rose never believed any of it._

Actually, she had believed it, but she would never admit it out loud. It still rankled her that she and Emmett were not prime targets for the Volturi. That was a thought that had enraged me the first time I heard it pass through her mind, but I understood that, in spite of the jealousy and the vanity, Rose would stand with us when it came time.

_This is funny. There's already a note taped to the door. _Jacob eased up a corner of the note with the one in his hand. He read the contents, knowing I would see it as he did.

"JC – I was looking for a drinking buddy, but I guess you're still working. –RSJ."

He sniffed the note. _That's hybrid scent._ Jacob taped our note to the door, and then casually followed the scent trail back to the elevator. He took the stairs down, and found the trail exited the building on the opposite side from where he had entered. Apparently, the hybrid had come in from the private parking area. I fumed inside the car. I wanted to follow this myself. Jacob went out into the parking area, and the scent trail vanished. _He must have left in a car. Good call for you to stay in your car, DBS. You'd definitely be noticeable._

Jacob slid back into the passenger seat and shut the door. "You might want to move the car around the block or something to break up my trail."

I started the car and whipped out of our parking place. I circled around a few blocks, and then reparked two blocks over from where we had been.

"Can you pick him up from here?" asked Jacob. "It seems weird to conduct surveillance when I can't see anything."

"His mind has a unique sound. I won't have trouble. Could you tell if the hybrid has visited repeatedly, or was it just the one time in and out?"

"No, it was all fresh," said Jacob. He was clearly a little worked up. "We're lucky we didn't come here first and then go to the college. Then there would be a hybrid tracking a werewolf."

I looked at the clock; it was almost ten p.m. I was becoming anxious as well. I wanted to be home with Bella. I wanted to know what was going on. Then I heard Joshua returning from work. He was on foot. Apparently he used public transportation while in the city.

Joshua was thinking in earnest about the classes he was teaching the next day. He had just finished grading papers to return to those students. I felt his surprise when he saw his front door with two notes. He read the hybrid note first, and was flooded with thoughts.

"Randall St. John," I related to Jacob. "That's the author of the other note." _Or so the note says._ I shrugged. If we could forge a note, so could someone else. "Randall _is_ the Harvard friend who sent him to Wolfeboro. Okay. I can see him in Joshua's mind. I can't tell if he's a hybrid just by looking at him, but he's definitely not pure vampire. This guy Randall has never been to Joshua's apartment before." More thoughts poured into me, some more coherent than others. It was too much to repeat out loud.

"Now he's looking at our note." The sudden sharp pain in my mind overwhelmed what I was going to say next. I was flooded with agonizing, searing mental anguish. I had felt worse, but this was comparable. Not worse, but similar. I realized I was squeezing my temples and groaning.

"Edward! What is it? Are you under some kind of attack?" Jacob was truly worried, he had put his hand on my shoulder.

"Wait. The thoughts are coming too fast," I managed to gasp out, still squeezing my head. I watched as Joshua stumbled into his apartment and ran to his bathroom. He didn't really focus on his apartment, but the glimpses I had were telling. I had a sinking feeling that I would not be able to kill Joshua, no matter how involved he was. I had lived through his pain.

AN: I happened to enjoy writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed it. Jacob and Edward wrangling is so fun.


	9. Family Feud

**Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe.**

**AN: 4-14-09. This chapter has been revised for clarity based upon suggestions from Justine Lark.**

"_Wait. The thoughts are coming too fast," I managed to gasp out, still squeezing my head. I watched as Joshua stumbled into his apartment and ran to his bathroom. He didn't really focus on his apartment, but the glimpses I had were telling. I had a sinking feeling that I would not be able to kill Joshua, no matter how involved he was. I had lived through his pain._

Ch. 9. Family Feud

Edward was still clutching his head. Damn, Nessie would kill me if something happened to her dad when we were out alone for the first time in years. He didn't look like he could hear me. That might have been a first.

"Edward, man, what do I do? Do you need something?"

He groaned again. It was scary. Edward did not show physical pain. Hell, he rarely admitted he was annoyed. Unless it was Emmett. Or sometimes me.

"I think you're going to have to drive us back," he said hoarsely.

What? What! Edward, Mr. Control Freak, was asking me to drive his car? This had to have been an emergency on par with….Suddenly the first time he had encouraged me to drive one of his cars came back to me. I suppressed the memory. I could get out of the car and walk around to the driver's side, but we couldn't risk Edward leaving the car. I didn't know if he could get into the passenger seat by himself. Honestly, he looked like the next step was convulsions or something. Should I move him? We weren't much into physical contact with each other.

"No, I can do it." He seemed to pull himself together, although his face was sort of screwed up, squeezed eyes, furrowed brow, and his lips were making that thin white line. I got out of the car and went over to the driver's door. When I got in, he was strapped into the passenger seat, one arm thrown over his face. I could see the tendons in his neck, and his other hand was clawed around his thigh.

"Are you ready now?" I asked with some confusion. I had no clue what Edward was getting from Joshua, if he was done, or if we just needed to get heck out of Dodge.

"Out of Dodge," he whispered. This was not good.

I hit the ignition button and burned a little rubber tearing out the parking place. Pretty amazing considering the lack of power in this piece-of-crap car. I figured Edward would warn me if a cop was around. Other than speeding, I didn't break too many traffic laws. Those overhead cameras at stoplights were not something I wanted to tangle with. Although, the ticket would go to Edward, not me.

Once we hit the highway back to home, Edward started to loosen up a little. His arm came down off his face, and his other hand loosened up, but his eyes were still closed. His breathing reminded me of someone trying not to puke up their guts. All in all, this was not how I expected this trip to end. I tried to think of something pleasant, eating pot roast. Nessie could really cook, as long as it was meat or dessert. She just couldn't bear vegetables or starches, so I had spent a lot of time learning various potato dishes. Just for survival purposes. Mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, au gratin potatoes, home fries. Leah could cook, too, but she didn't like it. Especially when it was for Nessie, Seth, and me. She was really good at it when it was some guy she invited back to the Den.

"You're avoiding something you want to say to me," said Edward. His voice was back to its usual smoothness.

Maybe if I didn't say it out loud, this would go better.

"If that's what you believe," he responded.

"I'm worried about Bella," I began aloud. No that was wrong. I was worried about the two of them, their relationship. It had gone off. And Bella knew it, was worrying about it, was close to terrified about it. For reasons best not thought of, I could see her worry and knew exactly what was going through her mind. I didn't think Nessie could see it, not exactly, not the specifics of what had Bella upset.

"You don't see it, either," I added. It was too gradual, building slowly over time, but accelerating recently. I thought about moments I had been with Bella, with Nessie and Bella, with the whole family. I remembered the looks I had seen on her face, usually when Edward's back was to her, when she thought no one was looking. There were times when she would freeze at things in other people's conversations. Oh, she was a better liar and actor than she had once been, but I knew her face and her mind.

I couldn't avoid these thoughts anymore. I had shielded her worry from him for too long because I didn't want to be inside their relationship. Dammit, I thought they would get over it by now. Clearly, my silence was now more harmful than helpful, and I cared too much for Bella and for Nessie. I loved them. And I cared about him, too. As a brother, I thought, hastily.

I glanced at Edward. He was not looking at me, but stared blankly out the windshield onto the dark highway.

"She thinks you're hiding something from her," I stated, breaking the silence. "She's so afraid of what it is, how awful it is, that she won't ask you. I sorta thought I had put an end to this Sunday night because she about flipped over some edge then, but if you just found this Joshua guy, that wasn't what you've been hiding for so long."

And we both know you _are_ hiding something. You think you're protecting her, but you're just hurting her. _Again_. You're a good actor and a good liar, but whatever it is has made you harder and colder. And distant.

"Why are you telling me this?" I don't think he moved his jaw when he said it. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his hands had made fists on his knees.

"Did you want me to talk to Bella instead?" I couldn't keep the fringes of the anger out of my voice. "Did you want me to shake her and demand to know why she was letting you get away with this?" It could have gone that way. This trip was too perfect, though. We were alone. I could dump it all on him, and then, if we wanted, we could pretend I'd never said a word. Or, and I liked this better, he could pretend we'd never spoken, but he could go spill his guts to Bella and look like a hero. No more sad Bella. No more cold, hard, distant Edward.

"You haven't thought about the other option," he said in a low voice. "The one where I tell her and she gets more sad than she is now."

"I can't believe you," I yelled. The anger was front and center now. "Over twenty years of marriage, and you still don't get it." Did I still understand Bella better than Edward did? "There is only one thing that makes her sad about you, and that is not having you. When you're like that, remote and shut-off, she doesn't have you. _Nothing_ you can say to her will be worse." Stupid vampire father-in-law.

Edward shot me an angry look. Stupid _mind-reading_ vampire father-in-law.

"Do you want to stop at the Den?" asked Edward politely. Huh. I guess were in the "pretending we never talked about it" phase now.

"No, Nessie's waiting with Bella at Vamp Central Station." We were only a few minutes away, now.

Edward nodded.

"So, you never said what was going on with Joshua after he read our note." After you had that attack. If he could pretend, so could I.

"It wasn't actually relevant," he answered. "All the useful information came out of the other note."

"Not relevant?" I said incredulously. "I thought it was going to kill you."

"Our note brought up some painful memories for him," said Edward, more slowly than usual. "The memories don't have anything to do with us or with this Randall St. John."

I knew better than to ask for more details. Edward didn't share other people's secrets unless he had to.

I pulled into the long drive of Carlisle and Esme's home. I was a little surprised that I was still driving—I had expected to have to pull over so Edward could switch with me once we had gotten out of the city.

"I trust you," he said simply. Then, after a pause, Edward added, "That's strange, I don't hear anyone. I wonder where they've gone?"

The front lights were on, but none inside the house. I felt uneasy. There was no reason we knew for anyone to be gone. I parked next to my own car, and we both got out, me stretching my stiffened legs and back.

A thunderous crash inside my right ear shocked me out of my shoes. When I recovered myself, it was to see Edward rolling under the weight of his two brothers. The crash had come from three impossibly hard objects colliding at some fantastic speed. That shouldn't have been possible, though. No one could get the drop on Edward because he could always hear them coming.

"Get off! What are you doing?" Edward shouted.

"Shut up, Edward." Uh oh. Jasper was very angry. Which meant…I tried to fight it. I knew it wasn't real, and it wasn't me. But I could feel the fury start to fill me. I struggled with the undirected emotion, shaking my head, trying to shake it out of me. I hadn't phased out of control in over a decade.

Carlisle came out of the front door, and he didn't look very happy, either. "Jasper."

"No, I can't let up," said Jasper, fury dripping from his words. "Not until he tells us what he's doing with Alice."

What?

"Come on, Edward. Just spill it. It can't be as bad as Jasper thinks." Emmett was basically sitting on Edward's upper back, holding his arms pinned behind him. He emphasized each word by jerking on Edward's arms. I had never seen Emmett look so much like a vampire.

"Edward, I know you have something bothering you," said Carlisle. "This family cannot continue, not under this kind of pressure, if we cannot trust one another. I had hoped you would do this on your own, but apparently things have progressed beyond that point." I was surprised Carlisle spoke aloud; it seemed like most of his conversations with Edward were silent from his side. Then I realized Bella must be shielding everyone from Edward's mind. They could never have taken him by surprise like that without her help.

Carlisle also seemed very calm, given what I could feel coming from Jasper. I was starting to feel ready to tackle Edward myself. Just his luck I was still angry from our discussion in the car. The hair on my arms was starting to rise, and I was starting to lose interest in controlling it.

"Jasper, turn it down," said Edward. His voice was actually calm. No, it was more…empty. "Jake is going to phase uncontrollably if you don't turn it down." I guess I wasn't protected by Bella's shield.

The pressure started to let up.

"Can we go somewhere else for this discussion?" asked Edward. Still empty.

"Now, Edward," snarled Jasper. "Right here." He might be controlling the flow of anger into us, but he hadn't let up yet on his own mad. He was one scary guy when he was out of control. Come to think of it, he was scary when he was in control.

"All right. Just let me up." No one moved. "Get off me, Emmett. I'm not going anywhere."

Carlisle nodded at the two of them, and Emmett and Jasper rolled off Edward, who sat up in the dirt of the driveway.

Edward starting speaking, in a very low voice. Still that empty voice. "I haven't been completely honest with you about what the Volturi, what Aro really wants. He does want Alice with him, and he does want Bella, either alive with him or dead. But I didn't want to say how badly he would want me. If he had me, he could listen to everyone around him, all the time. He could hear Alice without having to touch her. And he could ask me to do anything he likes with no one else the wiser."

"Only if you're touching him at all times," said Carlisle, shaking his head.

"Yes. I would have to be with him, at his side, touching him, all the time. I would never get another thought to myself again."

Sick. I couldn't wrap my head around it. It was just. Sick. I could see a strange look on Edward's face, and it took me a while to place it. It looked like embarrassment. Or shame. His eyes closed tightly.

"So, Alice and I examined the possibilities of how this war would change if we—" and then he paused. "If we surrendered." He said that last part very softly. "If I thought it would change anything for our family, for the better, if I could end this, I would do it. But I needed Alice's help. And she wouldn't let me look for myself without seeing what would happen if she went. You can't blame her for any of this, Jasper. It was me."

I head a crash from inside the house. I assumed it was Bella. Edward must not be talking as softly as he would have liked.

"We never saw anything positive out of those decisions. We never would have gone, knowing what was going to happen to all the rest of you. Nothing ever went right. There were failed rescue attempts, suicide attacks, and Demetri finding you and picking you off, one-by-one."

"Is that all of it?" asked Carlisle. His arms were crossed, and I could see the anger warring with the compassion.

"It was at first. Then, something changed a few years ago. It was while Alice and I were in Egypt last time." Edward looked up at Carlisle. "Can't we discuss this later? Somewhere else?"

"We'll all hear this eventually, son."

Edward looked at the ground. It was awful, and I couldn't watch him anymore. I turned my head to watch Carlisle, and the house. Nessie and Bella were both in there, but I could see no sign of them.

Edward continued his confession. "We don't know what happened to prompt it. We think that the plan to breed hybrids wasn't going well. The plan never had a big probability of success. Look at Joham—he tried for hundreds of years and only ended up with four."

"But you tried once, and were successful in a matter of days," said Carlisle, the horror dawning on him at the same time it hit the rest of us.

"We can't know what Aro is thinking. But if I decide to surrender, we know what he plans to do with me. He thinks if he leaves me confined with a human woman, I would rather mate with her than be forced to kill her for food."

I heard a cry from in the house, definitely Bella's voice.

"I suppose in the spirit of honesty, I should tell you that Bella is no longer shielding all of you. I can hear what you're thinking," said Edward dully. "That's it. Everything you wanted to know."

Emmett and Jasper both backed away from Edward. He looked around at all of us, and I can't imagine what he saw on our faces, what he was hearing in his head. The anguish he was feeling was clear. He looked up at the house, reaching one hand toward it, and then he was gone in a nearly invisible blur.

Bella came running out of the house. "Edward, no!"

"One of us should go after him," said Carlisle as he stopped Bella from racing after Edward.

"I'll go," I said, already stripping off my shirt. "I'm still faster than any of the rest of you." I hit the edge of the woods, and didn't bother to strip the rest of the way.

**AN: So, not such a happy chapter.**


	10. Shame

**Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe.**

**AN: There is a quotation from Ch. 31 of _Breaking Dawn_ by Stephenie Meyer in this chapter. I cannot give a page reference since I own the e-book version, which changes page numbers depending on my font choices and window size. (THANKS JUSTINE LARK: It is page 604 of Breaking Dawn.)**

_Emmett and Jasper both backed away from Edward. He looked around at all of us, and I can't imagine what he saw on our faces, what he was hearing in his head. The anguish he was feeling was clear. He looked up at the house, reaching one hand toward it, and then he was gone in a nearly invisible blur._

_Bella came running out of the house. "Edward, no!"_

"_One of us should go after him," said Carlisle as he stopped Bella from racing after Edward._

"_I'll go," I said, already stripping off my shirt. "I'm still faster than any of the rest of you." I hit the edge of the woods, and didn't bother to strip the rest of the way._

Ch. 10. Shame

Phasing, then running. It was what I lived for, when I wasn't with Renesmee. I could never get used to the joy and the freedom of running. The first hundred yards I stretched and flexed a little more than necessary, working out all the kinks. It felt like heaven. Edward's trail was so easy to follow, it triggered instinctual suspicion: I was almost afraid it was a trap. If he had been an enemy vampire, it would have been a useful assumption.

_Jake! You're back!_ That was Seth, ever the happy punk.

_Oh, revered boss, you finally taking a turn on patrol?_ And that was Leah, neither a punk nor happy, exactly.

_One of you needs to head to Vamp Central and relay some information. _I flashed through memories of finding the hybrid scent in Boston and the name Randall St. John. I added (although supposedly _irrelevant_) the little seizure Edward had had. Then, for good measure, I updated them both on the situation with Edward and the Volturi. At that point, Edward's path crossed the highway, but the unbroken darkness showed there was no traffic. I was across and into the trees on the far side in fractions of a second. My paws had touched asphalt only twice, my nails digging into the surface. I was running fast enough that each step was almost a leap, all four legs fully extended, then coming together beneath me for the next push.

_Oh, gross_. That comment was from Leah. The words were overlaid with a feeling of horror. I knew what she meant. Words were not enough. I couldn't remember the last time I had used an Alpha command, the only analogy I could think of for what the Volturi wanted from Edward. An endless series of demands from an unfeeling Alpha.

From Seth came a mental equivalent of a howl. Thankfully he kept it internal. We were a little close to civilization.

_I'll go_. I knew it would be Seth. Leah did not really step up to her beta duties when it came to direct contact with the Cullens.

Now I had business completed, I concentrated on Edward's trail. He had widened his lead by a bit while my attention was split. He was fast, maybe faster than I was. I could think of only one way to close the gap, and it had some risks. If I went totally wolf, let my conscious mind fade and let instinct take over, my body would use everything it had to run him down. The ancient enmity between my kind and the cold ones would motivate me to find him. My status as Alpha made the instinct stronger, the need to protect my pack overwhelming at times. The only question was whether I could turn that off and come back to myself before I tried to take him down. I thought I could.

_You can do it, Jake. You'll remember Edward's a good guy. _Seth, optimistic as ever.

I caught a slight retching sound from Leah, then _We trust you_. Not her usual sentiment, but I went with it.

I filled my nostrils with Edward's burning sweet scent, then let myself go, letting thought dissolve into instinct. I felt every sense sharpen, my nose burning more sharply, my paws feeling each strike against the cold ground. Instinct drew more from senses than my mind did. The scent trail I followed seemed almost a solid path, glowing for me, leading me on the hunt. The scent and disturbed earth of his footsteps showed his stride was impossibly long; he was flying through the air as I was. But it was the scent hanging on the air that I followed. It was still solid, and getting more so. Air currents had not had time to disturb his trail. The dark forest around me began to accelerate, and I lost track of my own thoughts in the pounding of my paws, the pull of my breath, the beat of my heart.

_Running! The cold one runs, he must be caught. Closer. Wrong smell burns! Run. Closer. He will be caught. Paws together, then fly! Bunch, fly! So close. Almost on him. To tear him with teeth, to feel the limbs break. Run! Close now, smell burns. The hunt ends! Leap!_

_Jake! Jake!_

_Jacob Black!_

I started to come back to my self, my sensual contact with my surroundings dimming slightly, my mind reasserting itself. I found I was snarling and circling, anger and hatred filling me. Edward, eyes black, was circling in return, low in his predator's crouch, keeping his face to me. We both had our teeth bared. I was fully back now, tamping down the hatred for the cold one, but would Edward come back? I knew the vampires could lose themselves to instinct as I easily as I could.

_Edward! We have to talk! No more running._ I filled my mind with Renesmee, with Bella. _They need you. They love you._

Edward's eyes faded back to his golden brown, and his face altered from a snarl to the pain I had seen before his escape. He dropped to his knees, sitting on his heels, and used one hand to cover his eyes. "I can't face them now. It hurts too much." The pain was evident in his voice as well as his posture. And the shame. I didn't fully understand. What internal struggle could bring Edward to this?

I asked Seth and Leah to phase back, and I heard their minds fade. This encounter was between me and Edward, and I would do what I could to keep it that way.

_You can't face them just because you concealed this?_ I thought of the many times he had committed the sins of omission in his dealings with Bella, and I didn't think he had ever felt even remorseful about it.

"You saw, you heard. It's so wrong, so sordid. I can't listen to them think about me like that," he trailed off into tortured silence. If I didn't have heightened hearing, especially in this form, I wouldn't have heard him.

At that moment, Edward was the 17-year-old boy he had always been, and suddenly I was the 36-year-old. Sure, I looked younger than my years now, but werewolves didn't freeze in time in the same way as vampires. In some ways, I was now the adult, the one with the maturity. I was the Alpha, a leader of my kind and, depending on circumstance, one day of my people. And somehow, my pack and my tribe included Edward and Bella. If things had gone differently in my life, I would now be the leader of the Quileute tribe, and the parents of my wife would have looked up to me for advice and for leadership. It didn't seem wrong to care for Edward. It wasn't wrong to love him.

_Our horror is not for you, Edward. It is for your situation. Your family loves you, and our only wish is that we could protect you from this._ I realized with surprise that I was speaking as the Alpha of my pack.

"You couldn't hear everyone's thoughts at the end. The revulsion and the disgust."

_Edward, no matter how evil Aro's intent towards you, we will still love you. These visions of the future, his desires to destroy your mind and your will, they are not you. They are not your fault. We will do everything in our power to prevent them from coming to pass. The disgust is not for you, but for them and what they would do to you._

* * *

Esme and Renesmee held me as I sobbed tearlessly. I could remember sobbing this hard as a human, and ending with puffy eyes and a headache, which would last for hours. These physical mementos of my grief would have been welcome, now. I wanted something, which would move the pain from my chest to some other part of my body.

"Mom, Jacob will bring him back," said Renesmee soothingly, her confidence evident. She was rubbing my back, trying to calm me. She had been calming for me even as an infant. Was her confidence placed in Jacob, or was it in her father? She had never fully understood about Edward leaving me for my own good, and I had never tried to explain it to her. Edward and Jacob hadn't either, for very different reasons.

"He thinks I betrayed him," I sobbed out. "I made all this possible, letting Jasper and Emmett take him down."

"Shh," murmured Esme. "Edward knows you love him, and he loves you more than life itself. That may be a big part of the problem. He has been trying anything to protect you."

Rosalie made a noise across the room, but I didn't have the strength to analyze what she was thinking.

Alice was sitting on the couch next to ours, cross-legged. "I'm sorry," she said in a small voice, head bent as she studied the carpet. "I didn't see this until it was too late. Jasper's gotten good at masking his decisions."

"But not his anger," stated Carlisle, somewhat forcefully as he came in the front door with Jasper and Emmett in tow. "I do not appreciate you manipulating the whole family to punish Edward."

"I am sick of Edward using Alice in these bizarre strategies," retorted Jasper.

"You can't blame Edward alone. I had my part in this," said Alice looking up at her mate, a fierceness in her delicate visage. "You can only imagine what he was like the first time that vision came up. He was sick and hurting. He begged me not to tell anyone." She turned to me, now only sadness on her face. "I'm sorry, Bella. I watched him for you. I wasn't going to let him get away with this madness. As long as it was just a vision, and an unlikely one, I wasn't too worried. And we did learn something about the Volturi strategy."

"Can you see him returning?" asked Esme.

Alice screwed up her face. "He must be with Jacob now. I caught glimpses of him running earlier, but he's gone now."

I relaxed a little. If he was with Jacob, then he wasn't alone, running, hurting.

Every head in the room turned as we heard someone approach the house on foot. Alice flitted to the window. "It's Seth," she said. I tried to ignore the despair that flooded me in the wake of the loss of hope that it had been Edward and Jacob returning.

Seth knocked at the front door and entered without waiting. He was in the usual just-phased-back-werewolf uniform: loose sweatpants, no shirt, and no shoes. For once, he wasn't smiling. "Jacob wanted me to come and update you on what he and Edward discovered in Boston today. Oh, and Jacob is with Edward, now." Relief flooded the room.

Seth related what he had heard from Jacob about that day in Boston. I wanted to be angry with both of them for deceiving me. Earlier in the day, I had been ready to envenomate Jacob and rip off one or two of Edward's limbs, but now the anguish for Edward's pain didn't let the anger fill me.

"This intensifies the situation," said Carlisle thoughtfully, sitting on the arm of the couch by Esme. He absently stroked her shoulder. "Jasper, can you check on this Randall St. John?"

"All right. But I want to make it clear, Alice and Edward are not taking any more consulting trips." Jasper wasn't going to let this go, and I was on his side. What was Edward thinking?

"We'll discuss that at a later time," replied Carlisle. "Right now, this threat takes precedence."

"You want to come, Em?" asked Jasper, heading towards the basement and their sophisticated computer setup.

"Yeah, it'll give me something to do." As Emmett stomped after Jasper, I could tell he was miffed, probably about being left out of the trip to Boston.

Apparently, Edward had left us on a need-to-know basis, and only Jasper, Alice, and Jacob had needed to know. He had managed to annoy or enrage almost everyone in the family in a few short hours. Which left us where we were now, still annoyed but yet now something else. I remembered back to the complete brokenness I had seen in him. With Alice's comments, I understood now that he had felt stripped bare, first by the insidious plans of the Volturi, secondly by the betrayal of his family. By me.

We all sat frozen in various poses, waiting. Seth sat on the floor across the room from Alice, as was his usual custom. He was really a very considerate guy. He leaned back against the wall and was snoring softly in a few moments. I was lost in the agony of worry over Edward, now less concerned about his running, more concerned about his state of mind.

I did understand why he had gone to Boston. The tension of waiting, doing nothing proactive about the Volturi had taken its toll on everyone in the family. Emmett was purely an action man, but he was reduced to waiting, unable even to participate in the vigilance Edward and Alice had crafted. The tension had Jasper constantly on edge. Carlisle often seemed at peace, watching over all of us as the father figure he was, but his isolation from medicine caused him pain. We all knew it, but there seemed no solution. To compensate, he circulated in the business society of Wolfeboro, contributing to charitable organizations and volunteering in their activities. The rest of us had tried to soothe our mates while ignoring our own need to move, to break, to take revenge.

I understood why he had gone. I didn't understand his obsessive need for secrecy. As usual, Alice was complicit in his plans, but I couldn't bring myself to be angry with her. At one time, Edward had been overprotective of me and my human frailty. Twenty years of marriage and near-indestructability hadn't relieved him of the need to protect me. He still wouldn't wrestle with me anywhere but in the bedroom. Alice could fight. Rosalie was a real spitfire. Edward was fine with that. On the other hand, I was the least able to physically fight in our family, perhaps next to Esme, and that was because he did anything he could to prevent me from learning.

From outside the house, we heard Jacob's voice call "Seth, wake up. I can hear your snoring from here. Get back to work." Seth snorted, and stood up.

"Okay, see everyone later." He slipped out the front door.

Esme ran to the window. "Oh, he is back. I see him. But he's not coming in?"

To my surprise, Rosalie stood. "Esme, I think you and I should go talk to Edward." She looked at me. "We won't take long, Bella, but this is necessary." I nodded at her, still puzzled. Rosalie took Esme's elbow, and took her out into the night.

"Alice?" I prompted. "What was that all about?"

"They just want to talk. Don't worry, he'll tell you about it." She jumped to her feet. "It's okay. Everything is going to be fine. Well, for now. I just got a fabulous idea for a jacket design, and it is so going to be a hit. I'm going to go sketch it out." She danced over to the stairs and descended to the basement, towards Jasper. I was pretty sure the jacket was an excuse to draw Jasper out of his black mood.

Jacob came in a moment later, looking as shocked as I was. Jacob and Rosalie rarely saw eye-to-eye. I looked at him questioningly, but he just shrugged his shoulders. He came and sat by Nessie, putting his giant arm around her shoulders, and patting me on my shoulder.

"Carson, did Seth update you on this trip to Boston?" asked Jacob.

"Yes, Jasper and Emmett are already following up on that information," responded Carlisle. He moved over to the opposing pale sofa. "Tell me more about this hybrid scent."

Jacob gave us a more detailed account of the Boston escapade than Seth had, ending with a disturbing description of Edward's response to the note from "Sylvia." He had not had a good night.

"Is he okay, really?" I asked Jacob.

"No, but I think some time with you could help," said Jacob. He didn't say anything more.

"What happened out there?" I asked, trying to draw more from him.

"I brought him back," said Jacob, looking a little surprised that I would ask. Hmmph. Men. Don't they ever really talk about anything?

Rosalie and Esme came back in at that moment. "You can go out, Bella, I think he just wants to take you home now."

I said my good-byes to everyone, and headed out.

Edward was in our car, waiting for me. I got in beside him, but didn't say anything. His face was smooth, showing no signs of his earlier agony. I took the time to study his beautiful, chiseled features, his disordered hair, his delicious fragrance, engraved though they were on my memory. He gave no sign that he saw me studying him. I wondered what he was thinking. He complained that my mind was closed to him, except when I permitted him glimpses, but his mind was ever closed to me.

An enigma, my Edward. He could be so youthful, so immature with Emmett and Jake, and when he teased me. On the other hand, Carlisle relied on him for many decisions, seeing Edward as the most thoughtful of the boys. Jasper and Emmett, while choosing to tease him as their younger brother, always admitted his leadership during this conflict. His self-control was acknowledged by everyone, but he regularly lost control of his anger. He was accomplished at many things, knowledgeable about many topics, confident of himself and his talents. He had the strength of will to face down the leader of the Volturi on a battlefield. Tonight, I had seen him crushed, the most vulnerable I had ever seen him. Now he drove beside me, seemingly unaffected.

What should I ask him first? Whether he was angry that I had cooperated in the ambush? What Rosalie had wanted to talk about? Why he ran? Why he always ran? Why he didn't trust me?

I stopped that line of thought. He trusted me. He did love me; I had never questioned that in twenty years. He might appear to be calm and confident, but he couldn't be. His first response to mental anguish was to hide within himself, leaving only his stony exterior for me to see.

We were home now. We both exited the car, went in the front door. I followed him up to our bedroom.

"Would you like to shower first, or shall I?" he asked politely, looking down at me. Did I confront him now, or wait until we were both clean, cleansed as it were from the evening's events?

"Perhaps we could shower together?" I asked. I wasn't ready for him to be out of my sight yet.

He nodded. "Fine. Together, then."

We didn't speak, and the experience was not strictly sexual. I tried to let him know without words that he was still precious to me. He was very gentle, but distant. I expected that. A closed-off Edward meant he was struggling internally. He often admitted he didn't feel he deserved me or the trust of our family.

It was about three in the morning when we emerged from the bathroom. I went to the closet and picked out a lounging outfit. I would change again before work. Edward sat on our bed in his robe. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. It was time.

"Edward. I want to apologize for my part in what happened tonight. Carlisle asked me, and I agreed to help him."

"I don't blame you, Bella," he responded. His voice was its usual smooth velvet, but emotionless.

"I was angry at you and at Jake for taking off without telling us what you were doing. And by the way, your cell phones were off."

"I know. I turned them off."

"Well, you have a few voicemails from me. I guess you can delete them now. No point in reviewing them."

"Don't worry, already done." He hadn't moved a muscle that wasn't needed for his verbal responses.

I wasn't angry. This conversation had gone exactly as I had expected. Damned if I was going to let him continue, though. Self-loathing flagellation would end now.

I lifted my shield and flooded him with the love I had for him, my hatred of the Volturi and Aro for even _considering_ touching him, much less stripping him of his life and his will, _my_ life and _my_ reason for living.

This had the intended effect. His eyes had snapped open, and he had gasped in surprise and pleasure.

_You are everything to me, even your broody silences. You are beautiful, precious, a pearl of great price. I gave you my life, and if I had another, you could have that, too. Our time together, in good times and in bad, are the greatest joy imaginable. Let me hold you. Let me love you._

I curled my body into his, and his arms went around my waist. I stroked his hair, pulling his head to my chest. His body began to shake with tearless crying.

"They want to hurt me so much," he said into my chest as I held his head. "It made me feel so soiled to know what they wanted from me. I couldn't talk about it."

There were no words to explain how much I wanted to soothe the hurt and assure him that he was no less for this. He was still the shining angel of my human dreams, of my endless sun-dappled marriage. Luckily, I could communicate to Edward with no words.

He gasped again, and looked up at me, kissing me under my chin, then down my neck. "I am always awed by you. I don't deserve you."

_I knew you would say that._ My mind flitted to all my favorite things about Edward, my favorite memories with him, and the horrors we had faced together and lived through.

Another memory dredged up, because I had been thinking of it tonight. A flash from a different time we waited for the Volturi to come and take our lives away. Edward had been describing Aro's covetousness for Alice.

"_He wants you, too," I whispered._

_Edward shrugged, his face suddenly a little too composed. "Not nearly as much. I can't really give him anything more than he already has. And of course that's dependent on his finding a way to force me to do his will. He knows me, and he knows how unlikely that is."_

My view of the memory, perfect from my vampire recall, included the coloring of my perception that Edward knew more than he said, that he hid the depth of Aro's interest in him. More memories floated up, unbidden. My concern for him when he had returned from Egypt, his excuses for his behavior. The creeping worries that he was not himself.

"You are so perceptive," he whispered to me. "I always underestimate how well you see me."

_And how much I love you. Nothing will change that. Nothing can change that._

With my mind open to him, he would hear my exact tone, the true meaning behind my thoughts. _You _were_ wrong to hide all this from me and from Carlisle, especially. You could have spared yourself so much pain. We can't do less than love you. _The rebuke was tinged with my love, my exasperation for his secrecy, even from those who loved him most. I let him see that my pain from his secrecy was only over his anguish. My pain was that he hurt.

He kissed me again on the throat, then pulled me down to kiss my mouth. My thoughts turned to how much I loved him, how close I wanted to be to him, how much I wanted to share his thoughts even as he shared mine.

"I can't share my thoughts, exactly. Let me _show_ you how I feel about you," he said in that velvety seductive tone. It didn't hurt that he could see exactly what his words did to me, both my mind and my body. I hoped there was enough time between now and when we had to be at work for him to finish showing me.

AN: Did I let Edward off too easy? Don't worry, he still hasn't faced Carlisle or (gulp) Jasper.


	11. Sylvia

Disclaimer. Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight Universe.

(Excerpt from Ch. 7)

_When I got to my door, there were two notes taped to it. The first note was from Randall. "JC – I was looking for a drinking buddy, but I guess you're still working. –RSJ." It was odd. He hadn't left me a phone message, he hadn't sent a text message, and he hadn't sent email. Why would he drop by my apartment? I opened the second note and had my second shock of the day. The note read "Dropped by to say hi. Sylvia." I felt like I had been punched in the gut. My concern about Randall's strange behavior was immediately forgotten in the threatening nausea. Every repressed memory, every thought I had been avoiding surfaced and threatened to overwhelm me. I wrenched open the door and ran to the bathroom._

Ch. 11. Sylvia

I'm not sure how long I was in the bathroom. Once the personal pizza from the student union (nauseating enough on the way down) had been fully evacuated, I had plenty of dry heaving left to do. When I finally felt like I could leave my spot on the floor by the toilet, I was cold, sweaty, shaking, and had a severe backache. Why did vomiting always make your back hurt? I stumbled through the darkness into the bedroom and curled up in the fetal position under the covers, not bothering to take off anything but my shoes. Wretched. That was a really good word for what I was feeling. I was surprised that just seeing Sylvia's name on a note could produce such a strong physical reaction. And now, more surprised that just thinking of her name could…

Ten minutes later, I left the bathroom again. Bed didn't sound good; clearly it just gave me a place to brood. I wandered into the kitchen and got a glass of water. Hmm, work clothes were uncomfortable. I wandered back into the bedroom and put on flannel pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt. On second thought, I was still sweaty from my extended vacation in the bathroom. I stripped again and took a hot shower, mentally checking off each body part as it got clean. Good work, Clemson. You can take a shower all by yourself. Without getting sick.

It was about two in the morning, and I wasn't about to get in bed. I had two classes to teach the next day, but the eager freshmen just weren't going to get their parent's money's worth this week. Like they cared. I flipped on the TV, and turned it to the Gameshow Network. A rerun of the Price is Right did not absorb me sufficiently; it's hard to pit your wits against the game when the prices are from an unknown year which may or may not have had rampant inflation. Jeopardy worked better since I was pretty good at random trivia.

Okay. If I wasn't going to go to work and I wasn't going to bed, I might as well take this time to deal with my issues. I had successfully avoided any thoughts of _that woman_ for almost six months, which was quite an achievement. I hadn't thought for even one millisecond that she had written the note. The handwriting was wrong, and in any case, she would never have bothered to physically and personally take action against me. That left the possibility that some random friend of hers was goading me into some sort of rash action which would let her get me slapped in jail again (there was an experience to be treasured). Or that one of my previous girlfriends (or dates or whatever) had heard me rant drunkenly about the stepwitch and decided to get me back. This was actually tame compared to flaming dog poo or whatever on my doorstep.

Regardless of who had written and posted that note, the bigger issue was that suppressing all memories of the gold-digging, step-son-hating, litigious, mendacious, vicious, vindictive last wife of my father had not resolved my problems with her. It wasn't like I had planned it for therapeutic purposes. Selective amnesia was probably a defense mechanism that had prevented me from becoming an alcoholic or worse. In terms of tonight's reaction, I supposed puking up my guts was better than attempted assault charges followed by jail time and a restraining order. Luckily for me, the assistant DA in Atlanta didn't feel like a drunken rant on what I _thought_ was my own front porch constituted attempted assault.

I was developing an urge to go to the kitchen and pour a glass of whatever hard liquor was available. I knew that route was dangerous. I hadn't had a drink alone for six months, the same amount of time I had managed to suppress thoughts of sinister Sylvia. There, I said her name. Well, in my head. No puking. Sylvia. SYYYLVIA.

Dammit. I was going cuckoo.

I turned off the TV, and went back to my front hallway. The two notes from tonight were on the floor along with my briefcase, right where I had left them in my mad dash for the bathroom. I picked up the SYYYYLVIAA note, and took it to my desk area and shredded it. I felt better already. Sleepy, too. Maybe that was why I was getting so punchy.

I sent Nan a text message to let her know I was too sick to come in. She might actually cover my classes for me, or find someone who would. I didn't care. I got in bed and found oblivion, at least for while.

I was awakened by the insistent buzzing of my phone. I cracked open my eyes, and saw from the intense light that sun was streaming through the window. I had a headache throbbing behind my eyeballs, so I didn't bother to look at the screen of my phone to get the time or the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Joshua? This is Kimani."

"Oh, Kimani, hi. Sorry I haven't called or whatever." Kimani Ellis was my parents' lawyer, and now, I suppose, mine. He had gone to law school with my mother's older brother, who had died in a car crash soon after passing the bar. Since her parents had been deceased, Kimani had taken my mom in as a younger sister. He had walked her down the aisle at Mom and Dad's wedding.

"Don't worry about me. How is school?"

"Fine, everything's fine."

"And how are you? Any girlfriends?"

"No, nothing like that. How's Adrienne?" Adrienne was Kimani's wife. They didn't have their own kids, so they had been surrogate aunt and uncle to me.

"She misses you." There was nothing to say to that, but I tried anyway.

"Sorry, I haven't felt like going within 2 states of Atlanta recently. I didn't mean to upset her."

"She knows. She just wishes you would call more to let her know how things are going."

There was silence for a moment. I didn't know how to respond. Why call when there was nothing good to say? How could I tell my parents' oldest friends that every time I talked to them or saw them it was like pouring salt in an open, bleeding wound?

"Well, Josh, I wish I could say I was calling with good news, but this is business."

"I see." I supposed my freakout last night had served a purpose. I tensed up, still lying in bed, eyes closed.

"Sylvia has filed another lawsuit to break your trusts. She can't win. I've studied your trust agreements inside and out. Everything is legal and binding. I can't imagine what she thinks she's doing besides spending money on her ambulance-chasing lawyer."

"I know what she's doing. She thinks the best defense is a good offense. She thinks if she snows me with lawsuits we'll be so busy that we won't file anything against her." The headache escalated three notches on the pain scale.

"I wish you _would_ let me file something. You'd have a good chance of getting probably half the estate back."

"We've had this conversation, Uncle Kimani. I have no desire to have any relationship with her, even if it's the filing of a lawsuit."

"Those are your things she has. Your house. Your money."

"Yeah, what's left of it. I don't care. If she can't break the trusts, I'm covered. Geez, one of the trusts is from Mom's side of the family. She can't possibly think she'll get that."

"I told you she can't win."

"Thanks for letting me know. Do I need to do anything about this?"

"No, I've got everything covered. It's the least I can do. You know, this is not what your father would have wanted."

"I know. But he'll never know it happened."

There was another moment or two of silence.

"Well, take care of yourself, Josh."

"Thanks, Uncle Kimani. Give my regards to Aunt Adrienne. Bye."

"Bye."

I didn't know why I distanced myself by using the kiddie "Uncle" and "Aunt." I hadn't used those in years. I guess talking out loud about the wicked witch of Buckhead was enough to put me off my manners. I put the cell phone back on my nightstand and rolled onto my stomach.

So. Selective amnesia was not the answer. As if I had needed another reminder of Cruella deSylvia, here was Kimani reminding me that she had taken possession of everything which linked me back to my father and mother: the house, family heirlooms, my stereo system, music collection, family vids and photos (not that those existed anymore—I had heard she had trashed them all), artwork, rare book collection, and Mom's jewelry. Kimani's words came back to me. _"This is not what your father would have wanted."_

Now I was reminded of the best reason for not thinking of Sylvia. It made me think of Dad, at the end, in pain, on morphine, barely able to acknowledge me. I thought that if he'd stayed healthy or beaten the cancer, he'd be divorced by now. I could see him, healthy, happy, going golfing, showing interest in my work, suggesting a trip to Spain, reading in his library. It had been the two of us for so long. The empty place in my gut opened up to a chasm, and I curled around my pillow, wracking sobs starting up. There was in me a desire to talk to someone, a person who cared what it was I was going through and who could make it less painful. I knew that person simply did not exist.

For the second time that morning, oops, correction, afternoon, I was awakened by my phone. I was awake enough now to actually look at the screen, and saw it was Randall. My thumb hovered over the ignore button. I kept thinking if I could rewind my life about two weeks and do it over (maybe four weeks, so I could head off the whole burning poo incident as well) that I would not be helplessly spiraling into depression. Randall was a big part of it, too. Crap.

"Hello." My voice sounded like I'd just eaten a handful of sand.

"Hey, Josh, what's up? You didn't return my call. I had big plans for last night."

I coughed. "Sorry, I had a late night at work. Didn't see your note until late, and I went to bed." Sort of.

"Oh, sorry. You up for dinner tonight? I was thinking about pay-per-view boxing with pizza and beer."

What? I was having a hard time imagining something I would enjoy less. Getting a filling with no anesthetic? Maybe a pedicure from Sylvia with sulfuric acid? Look, I said the name again. No puking. Maybe a little nausea.

"Umm, look, I had a really bad day and I actually called in sick today. I'm not feeling my best, so you'll have to count me out." My head did still hurt.

"Hey, I found your manuscript for you and got you going. The least you can do is fill me in on details. We could skip the boxing." What was Randall? My new girlfriend? I could not believe he was guilting me into hanging out. And _talking_.

Come to think of it, watching boxing was better than a rundown of my less-than-fabulous weekend (thesis developments aside).

"Look, let me take some ibu's and call you in a couple of hours, okay?"

"Fine, I'll be expecting your call."

"Bye."

Crap-freaking-tastic. Well, an evening of hopefully mindless yet mind-filling entertainment might be helpful. I tried that thought on for size. Nope. No enthusiasm.

Of course, that meant at about ten that night, I was full of beer, and yelling about some big giant sweaty guy punching a not-as-big sweaty guy at Randall's place. I really hated boxing. I had refused to make a gentleman's wager on the outcome, figuring my complete lack of knowledge made me easy pickings.

"Hey, I didn't ask how your weekend with Bella went," Randall said off-handedly around a mouthful of pizza.

"Yeah, it was really interesting, considering SHE IS MARRIED," I answered, managing to hold back at least some of my annoyance.

"What? How do you know?"

"Because I was about to make a move on her and her highly possessive husband walked in on me." I didn't look at Randall in order to beat back the you-almost-got-my-butt-kicked anger.

"No! You've gotta be kidding."

"No. Her handsome, well-built husband Edward with a grip of steel."

"Huh. I wonder why I didn't see that."

I made a noise somewhere between a snort and grunt, and we went back to watching the TV.

When the matches were over, it was about one in the morning. I realized a cab back to my place was a necessity. I was intoxicated enough to make driving hazardous. I stood up suddenly, and felt the room spin.

"Hey, Josh, you don't look so good." I had a hazy image of Randall's concerned face.

"Gotta call a cab," I said, but I couldn't think why I needed to.

"Just sit down here."

"Yeah, sit. That's good." Everything went black.

I began to dream, disjointed scenes that made no sense. Sylvia, laughing through the window when the police handcuffed me on my stomach on the front porch. My dad, laughing with me in a restaurant. My mom and dad laughing together. Then the dreams changed. Randall, arguing on the phone but watching me. Randall, his face close to mine, asking me a question I couldn't understand. Randall, holding my arm to help me stand up, but pausing and sniffing my wrist and then the inside of my elbow.

When I woke, it was the next morning, and I was in my own bedroom. I didn't feel ill, but I had a sense of unease I couldn't place. I got up and wandered into the living area. It was early enough that I could eat a leisurely breakfast and still make it to all my classes. Events of the previous evening started to filter back into my brain. When had I become a blackout drunk? I didn't think I'd had that much. Maybe it was just the stress and the ibuprofen combined with the alcohol. I could still remember the dreams I'd had, which was unusual. I wasn't good at remembering dreams. The ones with Randall were disturbing, to say the least.

I made some toast after showering and then started to sort some of the mail that had piled up since before the weekend. Most of it was junk mail: credit card applications, requests for donations, offers for a "free" vacation, and a plastic key to a treasure box at a used car lot. I stacked the offending envelopes and went to shred them. That's when the sense of unease blew into a mild panic. My shredder was gone. I stood in shock for several moments, then carried the mail back to the kitchen counter. My front door was dead bolted and had the chain lock on as well. Maybe I'd moved it during my blackout. I stood in the middle of the room, looking for the shredder. My eyes lighted on the clock. Crap!

I ran back to the bedroom and threw on clothes. I just had time to make it in for my first class.

Thursday evening found me as happy as I'd been in a week. I was comfortably ensconced at the desk in the back of Bella Libri, beginning the translation of _Il viaggiatore_. It was slow going, almost like reading Shakespeare, or worse yet Chaucer but in another language. I'd been at it for two hours, and I had only gotten through about three paragraphs. Seeing Bella again confirmed that my internal "don't touch" filters were on full blast. I could admire her beauty and her gracious nature, but I had no inclination to take it any further.

Both Edward and Vanessa had been in and out of the store through the employee entrance a few feet away from my desk. There had also been a steady string of customers, some browsing, but several regulars apparently. These distractions had been minor. I was pretty good at focusing on the task at hand.

I looked at my watch and noticed it was time for the shop to close. I started to gather my things together. I overheard Edward and Bella the front–we were the only ones left in the shop.

"Do you want to go out to dinner, love?" asked Edward.

"Actually, Rose, Alice and Esme have a girls night out planned. We're going to get mani's, pedi's, and then watch movies. Sorry, sweetheart. I would have told you earlier, but they sprung it on me at the last minute."

"I guess they knew you'd wriggle out of it if you had time," he said with laughter.

There was a silent pause, and I guessed they were kissing or something. I felt a hint of the chest chasm, but it wasn't anything I couldn't deal with.

"So, Joshua," began Edward at my elbow. I jumped an inch or two in shock. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." He was clearly holding back a laugh. "I just found out I'm single for the night, any interest in one of the local bars? A couple of them serve dinner, too."

"Uh, sure, pub food sounds fine." Me? I thought he was going to break a few of my bones last week.

"Great, I'll pick you up at the Den in, say, 30 minutes?"

Within the hour, we were seated in a dark booth in a microbrewery, menu cards in hand. "So, what's good on the menu?" I asked, scanning it for anything that struck me as interesting. I preferred ordering specialties or things I'd never heard of when possible.

"I've heard the barbeque beef sandwich is the best," said Edward, again looking like he was holding back some laughter. Was I that funny?

The waitress came by, and we both ordered the BBQ beef sandwich. Edward ordered the beer-of-the-month, and I ordered a coke. As the waitress left, he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Sorry, I'm sure the brew is great. I didn't have the best week, and I think alcohol may have been partly to blame."

"Was it over your thesis?" asked Edward, with some interest.

"Uh, no, not exactly. I have some issues with my former stepmother, and someone was messing with my head Monday night about it. The next night, I blacked out at a friend's apartment and I didn't wake up until the next morning, at home. I'm still not sure what happened." I hadn't talked to Randall since, although he'd called three times. I was really weirded out by the dreams about him, especially the one where he was sniffing me. What in my subconscious had dredged that up? Edward shifted uncomfortably on his seat.

"The weirdest thing that happened was I thought someone broke into my apartment Tuesday night and stole my shredder. When I got home from work Wednesday evening, though, it was in my bedroom closet, empty." I really had no recollection of moving or emptying the thing, but I knew it had had the damn note from fake-Sylvia in it. Edward looked fairly alarmed at this news.

"I know, I know," I said, holding up one hand. "That's why I'm not having a beer tonight. It's pretty humiliating. I've never blacked out before. I don't even think I had that much to drink that night."

Our food showed up at that time. The sandwich was good, gooey and tangy with tender beef, but I couldn't help noticing that Edward mostly picked at his.

"Not to your taste?" I asked him.

"It's all right. I guess I'm not as hungry as I thought," he responded. "I don't mean to pry, but you said something about someone messing with your head?"

I don't know what it was. Perhaps it was the unreality of my time in Wolfeboro, so separate from my everyday life. Perhaps it was because I had no day-to-day relationship with Edward and I wouldn't have to face him much after this. Or maybe it was because I was reaching the end of the fraying, tattered rope I had clung to for a year. I found myself pouring out the tale of my father's marriage, his descent into illness, and the trouble with the last will.

"Yeah, I didn't even get to keep any clothes I had in Atlanta when Dad passed away. She locked me out of the house the very next day, and even the suitcases I had brought with me to stay with him in his last months were gone. Then, some art pieces he and I had gotten together were in my old apartment here in Boston. She actually declared all those pieces stolen since they were still on Dad's insurance. I gave them all back and surrendered to the police. Which led to a drunken rant outside my own house which led to jail which led to the restraining order." I stopped there in my rant, but in my head I added _which led to six months of my friend Jack Daniels which led to amnesia which led to now_.

"She stripped you of everything which was your life, except what's in your head," said Edward. He was a sympathetic listener, and at least he wasn't hammering at me to sue the wench. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want to fight back. I just wanted her out of my life, what was left of it, anyway.

"Well, and my trust funds. Thank heavens Mom and Dad had the foresight to set those up before she could get her ring-encrusted mitts on _that_ money. It means I'm not destitute on top of being desolate." I was leaning my head on one palm staring at the tabletop. Our dishes were long since cleared away.

"Hey," I said. "Thanks for listening. I guess I needed to get that off my chest more than I thought."

"No problem. Talking things out is always a good idea."

**AN: Okay, in the midst of Josh's personal issues, did you catch the life-threatening issues? (Of course you did.) Thanks for sticking with me through Ch. 11! **


	12. Strategy Sessions

Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

AN: This backs up a little from Ch. 11 since Joshua isn't quite in sync with the Cullens.

Ch. 12 Strategy sessions

Dawn was breaking Tuesday morning when I broke away from Bella's tight and warm embrace. She gave me a pouty look, but not a hurt one. "I'm sorry, love, but I have some unfinished business with Jasper." Our reunion had driven that from my mind, but with the first rays of sun, I was reminded that Jasper was still livid with me. He had a right to be. I had used Alice, although I had promised myself that she would never be able to make good on her decisions to surrender to Aro.

"You were wrong to think about surrendering," said Bella, nearly echoing my thoughts of Alice. "Don't you know how it would have ripped the family apart? I would have surrendered myself just to be near you."

"Don't ever say that," I hissed, with more force than I meant. Hybrids were the antidote to Alice, but Aro knew from the last encounter that Bella was the antidote to me. With both of us in his hands, he could safely hide his thoughts behind her shield while still sucking everything out of my mind. And at his first touch on my skin, he would know that Bella could be open to him as well. The idea of him invading her mind and finding what belonged only to me was enough to infuriate me beyond thought.

I stood, frozen in stress, gripping Bella's arms a little harder than I should. "Isn't it enough that the Volturi would make _me_ betray everything? We've never been with anyone else but each other. To make me choose between our marriage vows and our dedication to preserving human life…that's monstrous enough. I couldn't bear it if you were there, too, letting them use you in whatever way they saw fit." I realized my voice had trailed off to a harsh whisper.

Bella ran her hand up my arm, then cupped my cheek. She began to stroke my clenched jaw. Her sweet, bell-tone voice murmured, "Sweetheart, all those possibilities are invalid. You aren't going, so I will not be following. And you're right, you do have unfinished business with Jasper. Let's get dressed." She leaned into my body and continued to stroke my cheek. I let her words wash over me, a soothing balm. We would be together. I would not go. She would not follow.

I let out a breath, and relaxed. "You're right. I shouldn't let a remote possibility affect me like this." I looked into her golden brown eyes, and I could see nothing but the unconditional love she always displayed for me. I leaned down to kiss her, to revel just a moment more in her scent.

I dressed hurriedly and went down to the enclosed garage. Living in a subdivision was not easy for vampires. The garage was necessary for us to be able to leave the house on sunny days like today. We wouldn't open the garage door until we were safely tucked behind our tinted car windows. I pulled the mini vacuum from its charging cradle and gave the passenger seat and carpet a once-over. Bella came out dressed for work just as I finished up.

"Didn't you just clean the car last weekend?"

"Yes, well, that was before Jacob ate powdered donuts, beef jerky, and nacho cheese tortilla chips in here," I answered. I could still smell remnants of the obnoxious beef jerky.

Bella giggled and kissed me on the chin. "I wish I could have been in the car to see what transpired between you two. How long were you in the car together? Five or six hours?"

I just grunted and put away the mini vac. Perhaps I would tell her my werewolf joke later to see if _she_ thought it was funny.

As we drove to Esme and Carlisle's house, Bella turned to me and asked, "So, may I ask what Esme and Rosalie said to you last night?"

I shifted in my seat unnecessarily. Bella knew both their stories, so I didn't have to betray any confidences. "They just reminded me of some of their experiences and how they had felt afterwards." The look Bella gave me let me know she understood which experiences.

Esme's abusive spouse in her human life had taken every advantage, and Rosalie's fiancé and his friends had essentially raped her to death. Their responses to the abuse had been different: Esme had run away, and Rosalie had taken revenge by assassination. Their emotional turmoil had been similar, however. The shame had been deep for both. Carlisle and Emmett had helped them resolve those issues, to some extent, but my mother and sister had both reminded me that my mental sharing of their experiences had been part of their healing processes. Rosalie's words, especially, had been a surprise, not because I didn't know they were true, but because I never expected her to say them aloud. _"I didn't want you to know anything, much less everything that had happened. But once you knew, I felt relieved that at least one person understood me. Much as I hate to admit it, you never treated me any less than a lady, and that made all the difference."_

We pulled up to Esme and Carlisle's house, and as we exited the car, Jasper emerged from the front door and stood, arms crossed, on the wrap-around porch. I climbed the wide porch stairs up to him, expecting nothing less than a repeat of last night's disaster. His anger was muted this morning, however.

_If anything had happened to Alice, I would have killed you._ It was not a threat made in anger. It was a mere statement of fact, a representation of his love for my little sister. She would come first in his life, and the possibility of the destruction of our family came a distant second to preserving their love. I had no argument with his sentiment. Had our roles been reversed, I probably wouldn't have made his choice, preferring to end my own life and allow Alice to keep her mate. I understood Jasper, though.

"I would have let you. I wasn't planning to let her do anything, anyway." I also loved Alice, and I would have deserved death for causing her death. I had no plans to die for Alice, though. I would simply ensure nothing would happen to her.

Jasper nodded.

"I heard, that, Edward!" came a shrill voice from in the house. I had to smile. Alice was just Alice.

_No more consulting trips. You've only found evidence of the Volturi once in the last five years. It was worse than foolish to present the Volturi with that many chances to ambush you two alone._

It was my turn to nod. I knew the consulting trips wouldn't end; it was the glue that held together our unstable alliance with the other covens. While many of them had gifted members, none had the power that Alice and I held between us. Sharing our power to help others was the only way we could prove ourselves. Most of our allies had stood beside us in our time of greatest need, and the cold war affected them as much if not more than we had been. Carlisle would work out something. If Alice and I were the glue, then he was the vise clamp helping the disparate pieces of the alliance to bond.

"You realize, Edward, you've been giving me the wrong intel on the Volturi for eight years?" Jasper demanded, finally speaking out loud. "I'm the tactician in this family. Even you should have known I needed all the information about what the Volturi might be planning." _You could have trusted me. Our differences over Alice aside, you are my brother._

"Let's take this in the house, boys," said Bella, who had been looking back and forth between us, a wrinkle between her brows. "I'm sure everyone will want to contribute to this discussion." She gave me one sharp look. She knew there had been more to our conversation than she had heard. I shook my head slightly. Jasper's words had been for me, a pact between brothers. If he wanted anyone to hear, he would have said them out loud.

We filed into the house to find Esme in the entryway. She reached up and hugged me. _Better this morning? _I nodded. "Living room or dining room, Edward?"

"Wherever Carson would like to have this conversation." Esme's mouth twitched. _Carlisle. I will never stop hearing your name in my head._ I wasn't meant to hear that, so I turned smoothly to Bella, giving Esme a moment to herself.

Carlisle picked that opportune moment to appear on the stairs, descending from the second floor. "The dining room, I think, Edward."

Moments later, the entire family was assembled, taking their usual seats. Bella sat to my right, Carlisle at the head of the table on my left. Two seats next to Bella sat vacant since Jacob and Renesmee weren't in the house. I looked at Bella, and she squeezed my hand. I cleared my throat, and got straight to the point. "I want to apologize to the entire family for not being honest before and for my behavior last night. It was inexcusable." The family's thoughts hit me like a round of buckshot.

_Bro, I am so hurt you didn't let me in on the fun from the start. _Emmett wasn't angry, now that Jasper wasn't manipulating him. He was actually wondering what the big deal had been.

_Sweetheart, so formal with your family_, weighed in Esme

_Oh, please. You know I feel bad for you, but that doesn't change the fact that you're a moron._ This was accompanied by an eye roll from Rosalie.

_Why are you the only one in trouble here?_ wondered Alice.

Only Jasper and Carlisle hadn't weighed in, and I couldn't hear Bella.

"Your apology is accepted, of course," said Carlisle, finally. "We may, at some point, need to discuss how this affects our strategy and plans for defending ourselves, but the situation at hand is more critical. Jake scented a hybrid in Joshua Clemson's apartment building. We know it wasn't anyone we know, which leaves the three daughters of Joham or an as yet unknown hybrid."

"It can't be one of the three ladies," piped in Alice. "All of my targets have been covered for the last week."

"That's right, there was no vampire scent with the hybrid," mused Carlisle. "So, someone we don't know."

"What are the chances that Randall St. John is the hybrid?" asked Jasper.

"It's logical," I replied. "But he may be just another layer between the Volturi and us."

"Let's go to Boston and find this Randall. Jasper, you, and I can take care of some wimpy hybrid without breaking a sweat," Emmett enthused. Rose responded by smacking his shoulder.

"First, we don't sweat, but actually I think a trip to Boston is probably in the cards for after the weekend," I said, looking at Carlisle.

"I agree that we need to have more time to study Joshua before any decisions are made," he said with deliberation.

"So, why all the subterfuge?" asked Bella. "What do they gain by sending Joshua here?"

"First, he is an unwitting spy. He means us no harm, so Alice won't have any visions of him. I can't detect that he's spying because as far as he knows, he isn't," I stopped. Everything was speculation. "The thesis topic of _Il viaggiatore_ seems like too much of a coincidence. I don't think we can let him finish his thesis. That means we _have_ to take action of some sort. We won't be able to avoid drawing attention to ourselves."

"I suppose the Volturi would be amused if we had to kill some innocent human when he got too close to us," commented Carlisle dryly.

"Reading _Il viaggiatore_ while immersed in our family might be a little suggestive," said Esme thoughtfully. "We would have to change locations again and destroy the manuscript. Joshua surely has many people who know where he is and what he is doing here in Wolfeboro. He can't just disappear, but we'd have to virtually erase his memory."

"That's assuming that we accept the Volturi's laws are still valid," said Bella. "If what you say is true, they're trying to see what steps we'll take to keep our world a secret. But they're the ones exposing Josh to our world. They're the ones breaking their own laws."

"Nothing new about that," I pointed out.

"Perhaps they're just waiting to accuse us of revealing secrets. We could come right back to where we were 20 years ago." Esme was not pleased at the turn of the conversation. She and Carlisle interlaced their fingers on top of the table.

"Revealing secrets isn't strictly against the law, as long as you clean up your mess," noted Rosalie in a bored tone. She was calmly examining her blood-red nails.

"How bad would it be if we let Josh finish the thesis?" asked Bella. I could tell she didn't want to destroy his plans. She had developed a liking for him. I didn't think I could kill him in cold blood anymore, but I had no compunctions about ruining his thesis plans. That sort of thing happened all the time, for a variety of reasons. Chances were that the Volturi were going to kill him if he did publish his thesis. We would, in essence, be saving his life.

"It's hard to say," said Carlisle. "There are suggestive statements in the manuscript, but nothing like 'Vampires live in Volterra.' I doubt any of the serious scholars will take it as anything other than allegory."

"Yes, the problem is what happens when it hits the mainstream, if it ever does," I said. "It feels like someone is directing this, and we can't assume the Volturi won't call attention to it, anonymously, of course."

"Who would believe it?" asked Bella. "It is a little crazy, as far as anyone besides ourselves would think."

Emmett starting coughing something, which sounded remarkably like "Roswell."

"I think we've exhausted our lines of reasoning as to why Joshua has been sent here," Carlisle summarized, while shooting Emmett an annoyed glance. "It is fairly clear that he has in fact been sent and that this Randall St. John is responsible. What have we learned about Randall?"

Emmett stepped in. "He _is_ a graduate student in literature at Harvard, apparently with a B.A. in English from Dartmouth. The Dartmouth registration computer does show his transcript. But…"

"But," interrupted Jasper, "I did a cleanup of the Dartmouth computer about six months ago to take care of some discrepancies in records from some of our older degrees there. They just brought the records from the 1950s online. My images of the Dartmouth computers show Randall's transcript records were just added."

"Does he have a passport?" asked Carlisle. Some of our best intel came from the DHS computers, especially their facial recognition database. Jasper had to hack that on a regular basis since we couldn't assume the Volturi didn't use it to watch for us the same way we used it to watch for them.

"I haven't checked since we don't have any images of him yet," answered Jasper.

"I have a mental image from Josh," I offered. "I'm planning to review the Bella Libri surveillance tapes from the last few months after we get to work. Randall and his girlfriend Lily were supposed to have visited when the Italian manuscripts were on display."

"Fine, that's settled, then," said Carlisle. "Is there any reason for any of us to visit Boston for the rest of this week?" He gave me a pointed look.

"Not at this time," I stated with some embarrassment. Emmett visibly drooped in disappointment.

"I was thinking about shoe shopping," piped in Alice, giving me a very wicked grin. "I have to start thinking about the summer crowds and what they want to see in the shop."

_No, please God, no._ Jasper had been forced into joining every shopping trip of Alice's for the last eight years, and he found it beyond painful. To his credit, none of the agony was visible on his face.

"No plans to find this Randall before the weekend?" Carlisle pressed, without so much as a glance at Alice. _I will not hear about this after the fact again, Edward. You have a cell phone. It would have taken less than 10 seconds._

"No. No plans."

Rosalie snorted, and I ignored the highly insulting comment she was thinking.

Later that day, I sat in our "employee break room" behind Rae's Antiques. I had sifted through almost three months of Bella Libri surveillance, and then through parking lot surveillance tapes. The three months surpassed the time when the manuscripts were on display. Randall was in none of the tapes. I wasn't surprised, really. If he was the hybrid, he would have been foolish to come to the Hunter's Crossing strip mall. We would have recognized his scent immediately.

Emmett and Jasper wandered in. "Did you get an image?" asked Jasper.

"No. He's not on any of these."

"That's more evidence that he's the hybrid," said Jasper.

"Mmhmm. Hey, you guys still planning to hunt with us tonight?"

"Sure, why do you have to go tonight again, Edward?" Emmett was grinning broadly.

"Shut. Up."

"No, I just can't remember why you have to go tonight, little bro."

"You can't forget. You're a vampire."

"Oh, that's right. You're going to a neighborhood barbecue." Emmett was snorting, trying to hold back the laughter. "I hope they have rare meat."

"I said to shut up."

"I thought I had it bad with the shopping trips," chortled Jasper.

"I heard that!" trilled a soprano from the direction of the JeCree fashion boutique.

_Dammit, Edward, look what you made me do._ Jasper glared at me.

I was relieved that Bella couldn't hear the cracks about the barbecue. We had planned never to go, but one of our neighbors held them almost once a month. It became painfully obvious that if we never went, we would arouse more interest than if we showed up periodically. We had skipped the last two, so it was time to make another appearance.

_Edward, if you think you can wriggle out of seeing the Paytons _again_, you are sadly mistaken._

I groaned internally. Apparently Bella _could_ hear the discussion.

The next two days passed with relative peace, if you didn't count the three rancorous wrestling matches I got into with Emmett and the one time we both had to beat down Jasper during our overnight hunting excursion to southern Canada. You would also have to discount the experience of meeting our neighbors (who smelled fairly tasty) in the presence of smoking flesh (not as tasty). Frank Payton was our host, and I had to grit my teeth and smile at him and his disturbingly plastic wife Velma while he fantasized about my wife. Three month intervals were far too short. Regurgitating the meat was a far more pleasant experience than attending the barbecue.

On Thursday morning, the tension began to build. Joshua was scheduled to arrive at Bella Libri around 3 p.m. We needed answers to questions.

"Jacob and Nessie could take him to dinner," suggested Bella as we opened up the shop together. "You could sort of hover nearby in your car and pick things out of his head."

"I can do that while he's here," I pointed out.

"No; you've already tried that. He won't think about what you want to know unless prompted."

I sighed. "You're right. I guess it won't make much sense for you to talk to him while he's supposed to be working."

Unfortunately, Nessie was uncooperative.

"Dad, I barely know the guy," moaned Renesmee later when I broached the topic. "He is going to flip if Jake and I try to take him out to dinner."

"Nessie, you're the only two in the family who actually eat food. He doesn't really know _any_ of us."

"You and Mom are much better choices – he likes Mom a lot." Nessie was all too aware of my protectiveness for Bella. We'd all been to high school together when Nessie was old enough. It had been very hard for us since Nessie's physical appearance meant Carlisle had enrolled her as a sophomore while Bella and I were freshmen.

"Nessie!" exclaimed Bella, giving me a quick apologetic look and then giving Nessie a harsher I'm-your-mother look.

"Sorry. I guess Dad will just have to eat with Josh by himself, then," said Nessie, with a slightly wicked look.

"Nessie," I warned. "You're not too old for some kind of retribution here. You can't keep acting like a rebellious teenager."

She stuck out her tongue at me, then gave me the smile that always melted my heart. "I know, Dad. When you think about it, you'll realize that you're the only one in the family who could do this right." She gave me a hug and kiss, and then left for lunch with Jake and her Thursday afternoon classes.

"You are such a pushover," laughed Bella. "But she's right. Eating aside, you're the only one who can ask all the right questions since you're the only one who can hear his thoughts."

Which meant that later that night, I was seated in the local brewpub with a beer, a plate of unappetizing food, and a human. And that wasn't even close to being the most shocking part of the situation. Joshua had let me know, through his words, thoughts, and some vague memories that someone had stolen from his shredder the note I had written. The only reason I could conceive for this action was that my scent was still on the paper. I was angrier with myself than I could remember. I had slipped up in so many ways on that ill-fated trip to Boston, and if the Volturi knew I was aware of Joshua's status, they would have no compunctions about killing him. And from the "dream" he could recall, it was very likely that Randall would be killing him – by having him for dinner. Hybrids preferred subsisting on human blood.

If I wanted Joshua to live, I was going to have to keep him in Wolfeboro under our protection until we could find Randall and end this.

AN: This took a lot longer than I meant. Emmett may get his wish soon for some action!


	13. Friend

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: This chapter and chapter 14 are pretty short, but I'm posting them together. It will be at least a week and a half (I think) before the next installment, though. **

_J__oshua had let me know through his words, thoughts, and some vague memories that someone had stolen from his shredder the note I had written. The only reason I could conceive for this action was that my scent was still on the paper. I was angrier with myself than I could remember. I had slipped up in so many ways on that ill-fated trip to Boston, and if the Volturi knew I was aware of Joshua's status, they would have no compunctions about killing him. And from the "dream" he could recall, it was very likely that Randall would be killing him – by having him for dinner. Hybrids preferred subsisting on human blood._

_If I wanted Joshua to live, I was going to have to keep him in Wolfeboro under our protection until we could find Randall and end this._

Ch. 13 Friend

I wanted to call Carlisle immediately to let him know about Josh's situation, but our meal had barely arrived. I picked over the open-face sandwich I had ordered. It was more appetizing than the food at the neighborhood barbecue I had attended the night before, but that wasn't saying much, all things considered. I tried to formulate a plan to keep Joshua in Wolfeboro and at the same time get all of us to Boston to take care of Randall and possibly any accomplices. Or masters. I realized Joshua had addressed me.

"Not to your taste?" _I think it's pretty good. Maybe he's not a barbecue fan._

"It's all right." I knew I was going to have to eat _some_ of it. At least it looked wet. I felt a flash of annoyance that Nessie and Jacob hadn't come instead of me. "I guess I'm not as hungry as I thought. I don't mean to pry, but you said something about someone messing with your head?" I didn't want to relive his pain, but I wanted to distract him from my eating. I felt the agony of Josh's experience with his father's death and the strange manipulations of his stepmother while he related the story aloud. The pain was different from what it had been earlier in the week, as if the incident with the note had been like lancing a boil.

"Yeah, I didn't even get to keep any clothes I had in Atlanta when Dad passed away. She locked me out of the house the very next day, and even the suitcases I had brought with me to stay with him in his last months were gone. Then, some art pieces he and I had gotten together were in my old apartment here in Boston." _He wanted me to have those. We picked them out together._ "She actually declared all those pieces stolen since they were still on Dad's insurance. I gave them all back and surrendered to the police. Which led to a drunken rant outside my own house which led to jail which led to the restraining order" _which led to six months of my friend Jack Daniels which led to amnesia which led to now_.

"She stripped you of everything which was your life, except what's in your head," I realized out loud. Against my will and my better judgment, I was developing a liking for Joshua. He had certainly picked the right week to tell me about having his life stripped away. My struggles with Jasper Monday night and with Alice's visions of the Volturi's plans for my future had affected my objectivity. I could tell he was beginning to trust me, and while that could only help in whatever plan I was developing, I had some guilt about deceiving him. I was not trustworthy, and it seemed wrong to let him believe I was. I was about to destroy what was left of his life.

"Well, and my trust funds. Thank heavens Mom and Dad had the foresight to set those up before she could get her ring-encrusted mitts on _that_ money. It means I'm not destitute on top of being desolate." _There really is no one left in my life. I have my work, such as it is, and nothing else._

I wanted to wince, and hid that with a faked sip at the beer. Would taking the last thing he valued be the same as killing him outright?

"Hey, thanks for listening," he ended with a little embarrassment. "I guess I needed to get that off my chest more than I thought." _Edward is a good guy, and really lucky to have that love with Bella._

"No problem. Talking things out is always a good idea." If only Bella could hear me now.

"So," I began. It was time to get something answered. "Bella told me a friend of yours put you onto the manuscript. Maybe I met him when he came by the store?"

"His name's Randall, he's a friend of mine from the lit society. He's a grad student at Harvard. We hang out a little, barhop, things like that. I'm beginning to think he's a bad influence since he goes through women faster than I do. Well, faster than I did. I seem to be less interested since the last disastrous breakup. Anyway, he was taking his girlfriend Lily on a trip to some resort up north, and on the way back they happened to stop at your store."

"Hmm, young couple looking at the Italian manuscripts. I guess it doesn't ring any bells." But now I had a good mental image of Lily. I mentally sorted through the weeks of surveillance tapes I had seen and determined Lily was not on the tapes. I had a bad feeling about Lily and the string of other young women that Randall had "dated," although it seemed unbelievable that he would allow himself to be seen publicly with women that he would later kill. Perhaps I was jumping to conclusions.

At that moment, something caught my attention. I sensed the slimy thoughts of someone behind me. I looked up to the mirror which hung over the bar area and scanned the restaurant. From the mental picture I was getting, I matched the thoughts with a man sitting two tables behind me. His date had just left for the restroom, and in her absence, he had spiked her drink with a drug. He was a sexual predator, although nothing similar to the dregs I had once preyed on. I made a quick decision.

"Josh, how would you like to help me out with a situation?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"I just saw the guy two tables behind me spike his date's drink with something. What do you say we disrupt his evening?"

I was unprepared for the sudden rage which surged up in Josh's mind. His eyebrows drew together as his jaw set.

"Wait," I cautioned. "I don't want us to end up in jail tonight. Bella would kill me."

"I just can't stand men who take advantage of women," he muttered, but settled himself down. I was impressed; I had never been good at calming down on my own.

We both stood, and I threw some bills on our table, enough to cover our meal with a generous tip. We walked over to the other table, and Josh slid in next to the man while I slid onto the bench across from him.

"Hello, Sam," I said with a smile that I suspected looked less than friendly.

"Do I know you?" he asked in confusion. He was in his mid-twenties, a little heavier than he should have been, with dirty blonde hair and a poorly trimmed moustache. His eyes were fractionally closed from his state of inebriation even in his slight panic. Alice would have burned his clothes if she had seen them.

"No, let's say we're just a couple of good Samaritans," said Josh in a chilling voice. I thought I was supposed to be the nightmare figure; was it marriage? fatherhood? Emmett was going to give me hell when he heard about this. I had definitely lost my touch.

"We're only going to tell you once. Leave your date. Leave the bar. Never do anything like this again. We know where you live." (This was true – I had his name, address, and social security number from his panicked mind which was flitting frantically over how we could know him and what he had done.) To emphasize that we knew his transgression, I took his date's drink and poured it into the planter lining the shelf above the booths.

"Now!" hissed Josh.

It was gratifying to see that he took us seriously. Josh let him out of his seat, and Sam was out the door within 3.2 seconds, only stumbling slightly on the door frame.

The two of us vacated the booth and ambled out to the front of the restaurant.

"That was satisfying," said Josh.

Later that night, I sat with Jasper in the basement at Carlisle and Esme's. Jasper had hacked into the missing persons database for the surrounding states to do a search for a 20-25 year old woman, blonde, blue eyes, about five-five.

"I think she's been missing about 3-6 weeks from what I could piece together," I told Jasper.

After about 20 minutes of database scanning, we had 32 hits, one of which was for a Lily Sernoff of Augusta, Maine. She had been on a weekend trip to Boston, but never checked in to her hotel.. Her photo proved she was Randall's Lily.

"That's her, Jasper. I guess that's more confirmation that Randall is the hybrid and he's consuming his girlfriends." I had already updated the family on what I had gleaned from Joshua.

I heard a light step coming down the stairs. Jasper looked up with that serious, yet yearning look he had around Alice.

"I saw your little escapade at the restaurant," she informed me with a cryptic smile.

I hadn't really mentioned that episode when I updated the rest of the family about the evening.

"There wasn't much to it," I defended myself.

"You're right, not much to scaring off the jerk. I'm talking about including Josh in your plan."

"I don't know what you mean?" I was confused. He would have seen anything I did. It was only natural to include him. Having two people involved is twice as good for intimidation purposes.

"What I mean is that while you would have done something like that with Jasper or Emmett or maybe even Carlisle, you never get humans to play with you like that." Alice smirked at me. Jasper was looking at me like I had grown a second head or a third eye or some other unlikely number of features or appendages.

"Are you adopting another human, Edward?" asked Jasper incredulously.

Within seconds, Emmett, Rosalie, and Bella had joined us in the basement. Bella was smiling with satisfaction, but Emmett was grinning in a way that was likely to lose him a limb. Rosalie looked annoyed, which was her usual appearance when she wasn't the center of attention.

"Edward has a new pet!" exclaimed Emmett, clapping me on the back with the force of a mack truck. I had heard his intention just in time to brace myself.

"Eww," said Rosalie. "Don't we have enough of that with Jacob?"

Bella threw Rose an annoyed glance. "I think this is perfect, Edward. With what you told us, we're going to have to go out of our way to protect him, anyway. It will just work out better if you like him."

I rolled my eyes. "We needed the information. I have _not_ adopted him. Although, I think I'm developing a plan." I turned to Jasper. "I want to run it by you, tonight. I think we need to keep Josh here for the week while we go after Randall, and I think we would do well to bring in the Denali coven."

"Kate could be a lot of help," said Bella. I shuddered internally. I had been shocked repeatedly by Kate when Bella was learning how to shield additional people. I had developed an aversion to Kate which had nothing to do with her personality and everything to do with her ability to produce the sensation of electrocution.

"I was thinking of Eleazar, too," I mentioned. "If Randall has some sort of talent, it would be nice to know before one of us is incapacitated."

"Now we'll just have to convince Josh to blow off work for a week," said Bella.

"No, it will work out perfectly," smiled Alice. "Next week is Spring Break at his college. I think that between his thesis work and a certain Slavic strawberry blonde vampire, we'll be able to convince Josh to stay in Wolfeboro for the week."


	14. Rant

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Okay, this chapter is very short. To be honest, it is the kind of chapter that royally cheeses me off when someone else does it. Sad to say, it really had to be done here. I posted it simultaneously with Ch. 13 so you couldn't say I was cheating!**

Ch. 14 Rant

I wanted to scream. I wanted to laugh.

I thought about that. Something wasn't right. I needed…someone.

_You have a job to do._

I did laugh. It was loud in my ears.

I looked around. Just my apartment. I was surprised, I didn't feel at home. I was at home. I let that thought move around in my brain. Home. HOME! _home._

What in this place was mine?

_You have a job to do. Responsibilities._

Who did I need? I wanted to talk to someone.

Momma?

I had a perfect memory, a screaming, bloody woman. She reached for me, but receded away, was closed away from me, behind the white door. Gone. She had wanted me. She was weak.

Sarah?

_You have a job to do. You must learn. Read. Recite._

Sarah was not weak. She was hard. I was hard, too, but never hard enough. I remembered pain. Sarah was pain.

The pain was beginning now, already. But I had been doing my job. I was doing it. I knew my lessons, and I knew my job. I was doing my job. It was growing, now. Making me convulse, writhe.

_Where is Joshua?_

Don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt don't hurt me.

I picked up the phone. The hurt was less. I dialed his number, but got his voicemail. "Hey, Josh, it's Randall. I've got hoops tickets again, I was hoping you could make it. Tomorrow night? Call me." I knew how to _be_ Randall.

I breathed. It didn't hurt. The pain was gone, hiding, but I knew it lived here. It watched me. It was always watching.

It would come back soon.

I dialed another number. "He didn't answer. I'll go by his place in an hour."

"Now." The cold voice. The dead voice. It plans with the hurt.

The hurt started again. My chest. "Now, okay. I'm going now."

The phone clicked.

I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror. I looked wrong, wet. My hair was soaked. I touched it, and it was wet, it smelled like salt. My clothes were wet, too. I stripped and showered, shaving in the heat. I was doing my job.

I dressed carefully. I looked right. Sarah would be proud. I _was _Randall.

The night was long. I waited in my car in his parking garage. His spot was empty. I didn't call him again. I was tired, but I knew Sarah would never understand. Sleep now would mean waking with the hurt.

I saw a car pulling in at about 3 a.m. It moved slowly, eventually parking two cars away from me. A young woman got out of the car, stumbling. She weaved as she headed toward the entrance.

I was at her side before the thought crossed my mind.

"Hi, you need help with your key?" I knew my smile was irresistible.

_I need someone._

"Oh, hi, thanks," she slurred. She smiled at me, her eyes not quite opening all the way. She had a lovely smell, only a little changed by the alcohol.

I took the key from her hand and opened the door. I leaned into her, just a little, enjoying her fragrance. Her smile broadened. This night would be good. I was in the building, now. I was just doing my job. I wondered if her name was Lily.

* * *

The morning was pretty. The sun was yellow and bright. The sun meant I was safe, free. I could go anywhere. Sarah couldn't follow me now. I started to laugh. _The hurt isn't afraid of the sun._ The laugh stopped.

Josh still wasn't here, but I needed to go to school. Randall never missed school.

_You need to do your job._

School is part of my job. I have to _be_ Randall.

_What is your job?_

I teach Joshua. He learns for me, then he recites.

_What is your job?_

I _am_ Randall.

_What is your job?_

I kill Bella Cullen.


	15. Tanya

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Okay, so I'm stating here in the author's note that this chapter begins on Thursday evening, the same night that Josh and Edward go out to dinner together and later Edward and Jasper start planning the foray to Boston. I'm stating that because darned if I could remember exactly what day it was when I was putting this together(!) There has to be a more elegant way to weave that into the story, I simply can't figure out what it is.**

**I refer in this chapter to a series of chess matches between Tanya and Edward and to Tanya's avocation as a writer of trashy romances. I borrowed those details from the amazing author Eowyn77 – she has fanfics featuring the Denalis titled "Fair Game," "Overnighter," and "Awkward" which I will recommend to anyone who likes the Twilight saga. In fact, read everything she's written. She's fantastic.**

"_No, it will work out perfectly," smiled Alice. "Next week is Spring Break at his college. I think that between his thesis work and a certain Slavic strawberry blonde vampire, we'll be able to convince Josh to stay in Wolfeboro for the week."_

Ch. 15 Tanya

I sat on the hearth near the fire, one leg crossed over the other, lost for a time in my thoughts. Kate and Garrett had gone out "hunting" together – for the third time this week. I could just barely hear Eleazar's low-pitched voice. He and Carmen were upstairs talking quietly. I suspected from the tone of his voice that they wouldn't be talking long. I couldn't make out individual words. It was nearly midnight and quite dark out, and I reflected that I had been sitting in this position for nearly four hours. I leaned back against the stones which made up the wide facing of the fireplace. I was not content.

I had more changes in my life in the last 25 years than in the previous 500. The most devastating change was the loss of Irina, my sister and friend executed by the Volturi. That the rest of us had survived the dreadful confrontation with the Volturi was not a relief. The loss of faith in the Volturi was another change in my life. Security in the justice system was gone and had been replaced by vigilance, tension, anxiety, and outright fear. Kate's joining with Garrett had also changed the dynamic of my family and the rhythm of my life. I still yearned for the days before, when Kate, Irina, and I could sweep into a town, make our conquests, and leave broken hearts in our wake. Those days were simpler, times when we sought and found joy and pleasure.

Even as I yearned for those days, I knew that they would no longer satisfy me as they once did. When Carmen and Eleazar were the only mated couple in our family, it was easy to consider them the odd ones out. Now I was the only unpaired member of the family and it was beginning to wear on me. At the heart of my dilemma was the size of the pool of likely mates. I probably knew every male, unmated vampire in the Western hemisphere, not counting the savages of the Southern region. Only two had ever appealed to me as mates, and they were both taken. This was the other change I had suffered in the past 25 years. Edward was no longer single.

It had only taken one moment of seeing Edward with Bella to know that, while he was exactly what I would like in a mate, I was not his type. Bella was the quintessential "girl next door," shy, beautiful, unaffected. I was almost the opposite – blonde where she was brunette, overtly seductive where she was demure, assertive where she was unassuming. Meeting her and attending their wedding had not been traumatic. It was only now, years later, that I realized what he had represented to me. I didn't believe that we would or could have been mates; his bond to Bella was irrevocable. He represented everything that I wanted and now might never have.

I had tried to analyze what it was I saw in Edward to see if anyone else possessed at least some combination of his characteristics. He was, of course, beautiful. He was a gentleman, his manners harkening back to an earlier, more civilized age. He was musically talented, brilliant, and well-read. He was gifted. I had originally considered his gift inconvenient, until I realized that a seduction in the mind was unbelievably easy. Unfortunately, Edward had not welcomed my advances.

I had long ago concluded that, save for Carlisle, there were no other male vampires who could match Edward. Now that both of them were mated, I was left with less desirable choices. Far less desirable. There were no "vegetarian" male vampires who remained single. None. Of course, Garrett was a convert. He was actually quite good with his control. It was the thoughtfulness and the manners that caught me every time. Garrett was rough around the edges, to say the least. He was fun, good in a fight, and steady, which was working fine for Kate. It didn't do anything for me.

This was the realization I had been making. I had finally reached the stage of my existence, albeit forced by circumstance, where finding a mate seemed an attractive alternative to my former lifestyle. My old habits of loving and leaving the hapless, handsome humans no longer satisfied. Vampire men were sadly unavailable or not to my taste.

The outlook was bleak.

I was beginning to wonder how these revelations would be of any use to me when the phone rang. Not the house phone, not my cell phone. _The_ phone. Every two months, we would buy a pair of throwaway cell phones and program each with the other's number. One we would keep, the other we would send to Carlisle. This was a plan concocted by Edward and Jasper, apparently. Jasper was concerned about all the out-of-country calls the Cullens had to make to maintain the alliance. He had seen signs that the NSA supercomputers had started to build a map of their calls. The two of them concocted this plan for sharing throwaway cells.

I picked up the phone.

"I'm here," I said cautiously. The phone had never rung before. I wasn't sure what to say.

"Hello to you, too," came Edward's smooth voice, sounding slightly amused. After the evening I'd had, it was a shock to my system.

"I'm sure this isn't a social call." My voice did not shake, a fact of which I was quite proud.

"Correct. We have a situation, and we need an immediate visit by your family."

"All of us?" I was stalling. Was this the call we had been dreading? Was this the end? I was not surprised to see Carmen and Eleazar descending the stairs rapidly, even for us.

"Yes, all of you. As I said, we have a situation."

"A final solution?" Carmen put her hands to her mouth in worry.

"No, not quite that serious. Can you be here within 24 hours?"

"Yes. We have plans drawn up. See you tomorrow."

"Bye." The phone clicked. Eleazar put his hand out, and I gave him the phone. He would leave it somewhere to be used by a complete stranger. They would praise their luck at finding a prepaid phone. They would be very sorry if the NSA or the Volturi tracked them down. The important detail was that it would not be traceable to any of us.

"Did he give any details?" asked Carmen.

"No, just that there is a 'situation.' I'm sure he wants to tell us face to face."

"Well, we all know the plan. Since Kate and Garrett may not be back for a few hours, perhaps we should pack for them as well," suggested Eleazar.

The three of us made haste to prepare our luggage and also the house. It wasn't clear how long we would be gone. Eleazar left the house after a short time to prepare the plane. We would take it to Anchorage, then take commercial flights to Boston. Carmen was already renting cars for us. I packed for myself and for Kate. I was reluctant to pack for Garrett. I had never been in his things before. I toyed with the idea of tracking them down to bring them back, but discarded the thought. I was frozen in indecision, literally, in the center of Kate's room when thankfully I heard the two of them returning.

I raced out of the house and called to them.

"Kate, Garrett, we got a call from the Cullens. We have to go to Boston, now." Their response was immediate. I briefed them as they rushed to pack.

Less than 24 hours later, we were descending at Logan International. I had had a lot of time to think while on various planes. My recent night of revelations meant the last person I wanted to see was Edward Cullen, but we were even now rushing toward him. He was the one person I didn't want to see, and the only person I would never be able to fool. It was small comfort that he was too much a gentleman to ever say anything.

"Tanya," said Kate, leaning over to me from her seat in the middle. "Don't think I don't know what this visit will do to you." Okay, Edward was one of only _two_ people I couldn't fool. She grasped my hand and squeezed. "I'll be here for you."

I gave her a weak smile. I couldn't say anything. We had been together for so long. Her relationship with Garrett had drawn her away, but that didn't change the essentials of our friendship.

After retrieving our luggage, we picked up our three rental cars. The two couples each had one, and I had my own.

"Let me ride up with you, Tanya," said Kate. "Garrett is fine in the car by himself."

Garrett looked surprised, but not too upset. "She doesn't like my music choices," he commented.

* * *

Friday started badly. Bella and I were still at Carlisle and Esme's place since Jasper and I had worked through the night discussing our plans for Boston. We wouldn't finalize anything until after we let the Denalis put in their opinions, but they wouldn't arrive until after 8 p.m.

One of our throwaway cell phones went off, bringing the entire family to the sideboard in the dining room where they were all plugged in.

"It's the Egypt phone," breathed Esme. _Thank goodness it isn't Siobhan._

The Egyptian coven, actually Amun, called about once every six months. He was both paranoid and demanding, and Alice and I had been to Egypt three times more often than we had visited any other coven. In my opinion, it had not been worth the effort. The alliance held, but we had wasted time, money, and my patience. I supposed that the time Alice and I had spent with Benjamin and his mate Tia had been worth it. Benjamin was pleasant and straightforward. I had no earthly idea how he put up with Amun's continual complaints and domineering personality.

Carlisle grimaced slightly, but answered the phone. It was soon apparent from the conversation we could all hear and from Carlisle's thoughts (which only _I_ could hear) that this was not a true emergency.

_We should let the Volturi take him. See how long Aro can stand the annoyance._ I smirked in agreement with Emmett as he glanced at me. Neither of us would voice that opinion out loud in front of Carlisle or Esme.

_You should agree to leave Wednesday night._ That was a very surprising suggestion from Jasper.

"Why?"

_If we are being watched by Demetri or tracked or whatever it is that he does, this will give us a good cover for going to Boston. He'll think you and Alice are headed out of the country, and Bella can ensure that he believes it._

I shrugged at Jasper. It seemed like overkill. We went to Boston all the time. "How will he even know what our plan is?"

_Just a precaution._

I tapped Carlisle on the shoulder.

"One moment, Amun," he said into the phone, before muting it.

"Can you tell him we can visit, and we'll leave Wednesday night?"

Carlisle nodded, and turned back to the phone.

"Are you and Jasper going to tell any of the rest of us what we're planning to do?" Emmett was frustrated.

"It's not our fault you were busy last night," Jasper pointed out, making air quotes when he said "busy."

"I wasn't busy, and you haven't told me anything," said Bella. She was a little peeved by the silent conversation Jasper and I had just finished.

"Can we wait until the Denali Coven arrives?" I pleaded. "We should do this with everyone here and get all the wrinkles out at once."

"You have to introduce me to Josh today," announced Alice. "I have to get to know him better if I'm going to _see_ anything."

"You just want to meet Edward's little friend," teased Emmett.

"He is _not_ my little friend," I growled. It was actually nice that Rose had kept Emmett tied up all night. Well, "busy," anyway. He really didn't want to let this go.

"Maybe you and Bella could adopt him," suggested Jasper innocently. "You have a daughter – why not a son?"

"That would be great!" declared Emmett with enthusiasm. "Think about how much fun we had after you brought Bella into the family. I doubt Josh is as clumsy as she was though," he trailed off thoughtfully.

"Yeah, and the sexual tension won't be the same," came Jasper's brilliant contribution.

I knew I'd had enough when Bella joined in. She batted her eyelashes at me. "I _have_ always wanted a little boy. Can we rename him Edward, Jr.?" If only she wasn't so cute.

"If that's what you want, sweetheart." I couldn't stop myself. Giving Bella what she wanted was second nature to me.

Thankfully, Carlisle shut the phone to address us. "I don't relish calling Amun later this week to let him know you aren't coming, but I understand you think it is necessary. Everyone needs to get ready for work. We'll meet here at 8 p.m. to greet the Denalis when they arrive. Edward, you have someone watching Joshua at all times?"

"Yes. The pack has it covered until he gets to Bella Libri. They're not going to let him out of their sight. We'll handle it during the day, and Bella and I will take him out for dinner and deliver him back to the Den tonight."

"And while we're in Boston?"

"Alice seems to think that Tanya will keep him occupied," I answered wryly. I wasn't sure if I liked this plan. I had a feeling Josh was out of his depth with Tanya.

At the store that morning, I was happily working with Bella on the accounts. I had never imagined myself as the co-proprietor of a bookstore, but it had made Bella very happy. The work wasn't difficult, and it was highly preferable to sitting through high school again. Come to think of it, even high school was more pleasant when I attended with Bella. The mindless efforts of balancing the account sheets were a welcome distraction from the plans we had for Wednesday night. Josh was working quietly in the corner. I could hear his methodical thoughts as he slowly translated a passage.

"Is that the last entry?" I asked, typing the information into the computer.

"That's the last of it. We're up-to-date through today."

"You've done really well this month."

_Edward, I'm coming over now to meet Josh._

"What is it?" asked Bella. I don't know how she always knew when someone was talking to me.

"You'll see," I responded, rolling my eyes.

The bell across the front door tinkled as Alice danced her way into the store.

"Hi! Work is really slow this morning, so I thought I'd come by," she announced.

"We haven't seen anyone this morning except Josh," smiled Bella.

I heard Josh's methodical work come to a halt as he was distracted by the unexpected noises and the sound of his name. I had been wondering how to introduce him to Alice, but he solved the problem for me.

"Hi," he said, walking over to the counter. "I need to stretch for a few minutes." He twisted his back. "I'm Josh," he said to Alice, holding out his hand.

"Oh, sorry," said Bella in embarrassment. "Alice, this is Josh, the graduate student I told you about. Josh, this is Alice. She owns the boutique next door."

"Nice to meet you," said Josh, with a big smile. He was charming, both intentionally and naturally so. "I think I'll take a quick walk around the block, then hit the Starbuck's. Anyone want anything?"

"No, thanks," I answered.

"Can I walk with you?" asked Alice. "I need a little stretch myself."

"Who's running your shop?" he asked with curiosity as they walked out the door.

"Well, love, that solves our one-and-only problem for the day," I commented, closing up the laptop.

"What, getting Alice and Josh to meet?"

"I was worried about how to introduce them in a natural way."

Bella waved at me dismissively. "You worry too much."

"Now that it's over, though, I can obsess about what will happen when Tanya and company arrive. How do we get Tanya and Josh together so she can watch him for us?" I was partly joking.

"Sweetheart, Tanya is perfectly capable of solving that problem on her own."

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Bella and I took Josh out for dinner, then delivered him back to Jake's capable hands. Or paws.

On the drive back to Carlisle's house, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bro, they're here," came Emmett's voice. "Are you going to be much longer?"

"No, we're on the way."

"Good. See you."

When we arrived, three new cars were parked in front the house. I could hear the five new voices inside. There were enough people at the house that I was going to be uncomfortable, at least until I adjusted. Eight of us and five of them, all familiar intimate voices, all assaulting my consciousness.

Bella and I entered the house, hand in hand.

* * *

Edward's briefing on the "situation" and the plan to hunt the hybrid was concise and logical. My part was simple, I was to protect the helpless human male without letting him know he was being protected. The rest of the plan was more complicated. I agreed the plan was reasonable, and let those more directly involved hash out the less important details. Kate and Eleazar would be going to Boston, but Carmen, Garrett, and I would remain behind with Esme and Rosalie. The wolf pack was also to remain behind. For some reason, Edward was concerned that there would be an attack at Wolfeboro while the rest of them were away in Boston. It seemed unlikely, but it was certainly a concern that Alice was of no use in predicting the outcome.

The discussions showed every sign of continuing into the night, but part of the plan was for me to stay at the Wolfeboro Den Bed and Breakfast.

"I'll drive you over to the Den, now, if you don't mind, Tanya," said Edward.

"I have my own car," I pointed out.

"I can drive you over in your car, and run back. It will help me clear my head," he insisted.

This was a chivalrous gesture; I was staying on my own, and he wasn't going to make me leave alone. As I thought this, the corner of his mouth turned up slightly, but he turned and kissed Bella.

"I'll be back shortly, love," he said, looking deeply into Bella's eyes. The look they shared was – well, there were no words. It was romance, it was love, it was desire, it was promise. It was all that, and something more, the part with no words to describe it. I was happy for them, and seriously envious all at once.

Edward walked me out to the rental car, opening the passenger door for me.

He got into the driver's seat, and backed expertly down the drive.

"Are you driving me because you're chivalrous, or because you want to get me alone?" I asked teasingly.

"A little of both, I suppose," he said, smirking.

I sighed. "I can remember a time when you were terrified of me. Now I'm a source of amusement."

"Never amusement. I was just teasing you back."

"Yes, I suppose I did start that."

"It's all right. I'm used to you starting things." He gave me another smirk.

I sighed again. "Where was all this banter back when you were single?" Uh oh. I had opened a can of worms. I couldn't pretend in my mind that I didn't mean a word of that.

"Tanya, I'm sure someone is out there for you. Someone who will care for you in the way you deserve. I'm sorry I wasn't that man." He said this in a soft voice. He was sorry.

"The changes you've been through since meeting Bella, you're a different man. No, that's not right, because you are the same. It's as though the best parts of you were hidden or dormant, and she made them grow. It is lovely." I can't be sorry about that. She completes you. I know I'm not that person. I just long for what you two have.

"Can I tell you about Josh, for a moment?" he said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Certainly, darling Boris. Tell me about this poor human we are protecting," I responded, letting my accent take over. We were playing cloak and dagger, I could play at Natasha. Edward gave me an exasperated look.

"He's been through a lot lately. I don't think everyone needs to know about his troubles, but it will help you to understand him if you know." Edward proceeded to describe a series of tragic events which had whittled Josh's life down to himself and his work at the tender age of 24.

"How did the Volturi find him?" I asked.

"We don't know yet. I can't ask him straight out since he has no idea he is in danger, and to let him know would put him into even more danger."

"You can't pluck it out of his mind?"

"His mind is different. His thoughts are very…focused." Edward was speaking slowly, as if trying to put something into words that he had only felt but not yet verbalized. "Most minds will flit, spending only a short time on any one thought. People distract themselves, and let their minds wander. He doesn't do that."

"Hmm, a challenge," I said in my most seductive tone. "We shall see if he is distractable."

"Tanya, that won't be necessary. We just need you to keep him safe."

"What better way can you imagine?"

"Do you want me to make a list?"

"Is chess on the list?" I asked. I had used chess to my advantage with Edward long ago. I actually managed to beat him, once. At one time, I would have expected Edward to splutter with indignation at bringing that up, but he actually chuckled. Bella had changed him indeed.

"You're incorrigible. I hope Josh has a strong constitution."

"Not as much as I do," I purred.

Edward shook his head and laughed in spite of himself.

"Well, we're here. I think Nessie is waiting to check you in. Her name is Vanessa Black, by the way."

"Right. And you're the Masens, and it's _Carson_ and Esme Platt, Rosalie and Emmett McCarty, and Alice and Jasper Whitlock. I listen."

"Thank you, for this. I'm not coming in, so good luck with everything."

Edward exited the car and opened my door for me. "I'll see you tomorrow morning at the store."

"Good night, Edward." And with that, he was gone, a flash into the woods.

"Tanya!" Little Renesmee, not so little anymore. It was always strange to see her grown, although I had seen her at her wedding and many times since.

"Nessie, so good to see you." I kissed her on each burning cheek. Her warmth was still startling. "Does the big bad wolf still treat you right?" She put her hand to my cheek, filling my mind with happy images of her life with Jake: hunting, playing Frisbee vampire/werewolf style, talking with friends, spending time with Bella and Edward.

"You know he does. He spoils me beyond all belief, but I don't have the heart to make him stop. Can I help you with luggage?" I popped the trunk, and we each took a suitcase.

"I have you staying here in the lodge. It's most convenient for your, ah, needs."

"Will I meet him tonight?" I asked in a low voice.

"I've got the hot tub running on the back patio, and he promised to join me and Jake there for cocktails in about half an hour."

"That is the best thing I've heard all day," I murmured. Mmm, hot tub. I might be stuck alone with the human, but I was getting a better deal than Kate and Carmen. Nessie led me to my beautifully appointed room. The room was decorated with in yellows and blues, with simple styling reminiscent of the early colonial period. I recognized the patented Esme touch in the décor. She had redone parts of our lodge, and I made a mental note to have her out soon for a remodel.

"I'll be out to join you in 30 minutes." I took a quick shower in the attached bathroom, then changed into my red bikini. I put on the matching wrap, and grabbed a towel. I still had a few minutes, so I unpacked my suitcases and put away all my things at top speed. It only took 48 seconds, leaving me with another 7 minutes to waste. I used the time to plug in my cell phone and my laptop. You never knew when inspiration would hit and the next trashy novel would be born.

I wandered slowly through the lodge, then out to the back deck. The hot tub was sending steam up into the night. An outdoor heater was set up near the hot tub, presumably for Josh's comfort. Neither Jake, Nessie, or I would have needed it. All three of them were already in the hot tub, laughing at some joke of Jake's.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked, using the semi-seductive voice. No need to turn everything on right away. Josh had his back to me, but turned around abruptly when he heard me. He stood immediately, and offered me a hand to help me into the water. Thankfully, my hands were still somewhat warm from the shower.

"Thank you, I'm Tanya." I gave him look number 12, head slightly down and angled, eyes glancing up through eyelashes. His mouth hung open for just a second. Perfect.

"I'm Josh," he said after a moment. We both settled down into the water. He was in swim trunks, so I could see he was well-built from the shoulders all the way down to his calves. He had piercing blue eyes, and a shock of dirty blonde hair. He was beyond handsome. This was going to be far better than anything Kate and Carmen had to do. For the first time in years, the thrill of the hunt coursed through me.

**AN2: So, this is not even sort of what the original Ch. 15 looked like. Initially, it was from Josh's point of view. His POV turns out to be not as interesting as this, which popped into my head in big pieces out of the blue. I knew from the beginning that Tanya and the Denalis would play a big part in the story. I never imagined she was actually going to speak to me, though! Was it too weird? Most people don't seem to like her much, but I have a soft spot for her, as you can probably tell.**


	16. Gift

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: If you've never read "Renesmee's Christmas" by The Singing Girl, I highly recommend it. I borrowed the idea that Renesmee prefers sweets in human food from that story.**

"_Mind if I join you?" I asked, using the semi-seductive voice. No need to turn everything on right away. Josh had his back to me, but turned around abruptly when he heard me. He stood immediately, and offered me a hand to help me into the water. Thankfully, my hands were still somewhat warm from the shower._

"_Thank you, I'm Tanya." I gave him look number 12, head slightly down and angled, eyes glancing up through eyelashes. His mouth hung open for just a second. Perfect._

"_I'm Josh," he said after a moment. We both settled down into the water. He was in swim trunks, so I could see he was well-built from the shoulders all the way down to his calves. He had piercing blue eyes, and a shock of dirty blonde hair. He was beyond handsome. This was going to be far better than anything Kate and Carmen had to do. For the first time in years, the thrill of the hunt coursed through me._

Ch. 16. Gift

I had planned to humor Nessie and Jake by spending a few minutes in the hot tub with them (Nessie claimed it was the important "first hot tub night of the year" at the Den). After this obligation, I intended to go straight to bed so Saturday would be as productive as possible. I wanted to stay in Wolfeboro for the whole week since Spring Break meant I wouldn't have to teach my classes, but I had yet to bring this up with Bella and Edward.

"Cocktail?" asked Jake, waving at the bar on one side of the back deck as I exited the lodge through the sliding glass door.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm abstaining for the time being," I told him. I wasn't ashamed of going on the wagon, but it was different enough that I hadn't figured out how to respond when I was offered a beverage.

Jake shrugged his shoulders. After all, why should he care if I had a cocktail or not? I noticed he didn't prepare one for himself either.

I set my towel down on one of the benches around the edge of the deck. "Is this tub ready?"

"Sure, go ahead. I'm just waiting for Nessie."

I went ahead and got in, sitting with my back to the lodge so I could look out over what I could see of the darkened woods. Stars were out, and I found myself releasing tension I didn't know I had.

"Ooo, I'm glad you decided to join us," came Nessie's pleasant soprano.

She and Jake climbed into the hot tub and settled across from me. I was worried it would be a little weird, but they were just quietly together, not doing anything to make me uncomfortable. I had just relaxed fully again, laughing at the good humor between Nessie and Jake, when I heard a melodious contralto directly behind me.

"Mind if I join you?"

I don't think I had ever whipped my head around that fast. I was confronted with a tall, leggy, strawberry blonde with golden eyes and a wide mouth. She was gorgeous. She dropped a towel on a chair and removed a short red bathrobe thingie to reveal a red bikini. A very small bikini. I realized I was standing, and I held out one hand to help her into the tub.

"Thank you, I'm Tanya," she purred at me. I thought I might have fallen asleep, and I was having a really vivid dream. She looked at me through long dark lashes, and I felt my mouth drop open. Aagh. I hoped I didn't drool. How old was I? 15?

"I'm Josh," I finally squeezed out of my poorly functioning lungs. We both sat down, and I literally could not look away from her. This was bad. I had intended to add women to the wine on the off-limits list of my life, at least for the time being. It hadn't seemed like much of a sacrifice considering the disappointment with Bella and the flaming dog poo incident.

"So, what brings you to Wolfeboro?" I asked. It wasn't that stupid of a question, we were in a B&B. She wouldn't be staying here if she lived nearby. I was wondering what her nationality was given her blonde hair paired with the high cheek bones. Her lashes were so long and dark, framing those fascinating, hypnotic golden eyes. She had an epicanthic fold, like Asians, but otherwise looked European.

"…so I agreed to come in and watch the store for them," she was finishing up. Crap. I had been so busy examining the details of her face that I completely missed her answer. I had always had a problem with that; if I started thinking about one thing, everything else around me would disappear. My mom had called it over-focusing. I glanced around and realized Jake and Nessie were gone. I hadn't even seen them go.

"Why are _you_ here?" she asked, leaning towards me.

I gave her the short version of how my thesis topic was progressing, being careful not to look at her since I didn't want to lose focus again. I felt rather than saw her inch a little closer.

"Ph.D. in literature? What are you planning to do with that degree?" This was not the condescending question from the engineers and pre-meds that I occasionally got. I could tell she was curious. I took a chance and let my eyes slide back over her face. Wait, what did she just ask? Oh.

"I'm not entirely certain, but I have found that I enjoy teaching. I like preparing lectures, reading through critical texts, answering questions, and even reading the good student papers. The bad papers are another story, but there has to be a downside to every job, right?" While I had been speaking, Tanya had been sliding closer, her eyes focused entirely on my mouth, I thought. It was frightening and exciting at the same time. We had known each other for all of 15 minutes. I was fairly certain I had kissed other girls after less, but that was usually under the influence for all involved parties.

"Josh, is it all right if I kiss you?" she asked in a low breathy voice. I wasn't sure if I'd ever been asked before, and it was an enjoyable shock.

"I think it would be all right," I murmured back. She leaned over the final two inches separating our lips, and when she finally touched me, it was just a faint brushing of her lips across mine. I lifted one hand, and brushed her forearm under the warm water. We continued like that, with whispers of kisses and the lightest of touches. Now that we were close, I found her scent to be intoxicating, like no perfume I had ever experienced. Something about Tanya was calling to me, whether her scent, her face, her voice, her body, or her assertive actions or some combination of all these things I couldn't have said. I wanted to kiss her like this forever, or else talk to her all night and find out all about her, or perhaps take her back to my room. And that was so wrong.

I pulled away from her, sitting up straight. "Tanya, I don't think we should continue with this right now."

"Why not? It's still early. I don't want to let you go. I'm finding you irresistible." She looked deeply into my eyes, and a shiver went through me. It would be so easy to stay.

"I want you, too, but I don't want this to go the way it's going. I have a bad habit of ruining friendships before they have a chance to get started. I want to get to know you before I…"

"Get to _know_ me?" she asked with a wicked grin.

"Exactly." I smiled back. A sense of humor.

"How about if we get out of these wet things and meet in the common room for a nightcap? You can start to get to know me." Her eyes were mesmerizing. I wasn't sure if I had been blinking.

"I would like that."

I helped her out of the tub, and then threw the switch to shut off the pump and the lights. We both grabbed towels and wrapped up. The night was getting cold, so I hurried her into the lodge.

"Where's your room?" I asked. I intended to walk her to her door.

"Just down this hall, room 3B," she answered.

"Oh, I'm in 3A. We must have the halves of an adjoining set." I was right. Our rooms were directly next door. For some reason, that made me a little warm.

"I'll be back out in a minute," I said. I went in and stripped quickly, putting on jeans and a sweatshirt. It was getting cool rapidly. I went out to the common room, and used the hot water which was always available to make two cups of tea. I wasn't sure what Tanya wanted for a nightcap, but I wasn't going to take anything stronger than this. Even if I wasn't abstaining, I didn't need anything to confuse me more about Tanya and the attractions she represented.

Tanya came out dressed almost the same as I was, except that it looked completely different on her. I guessed it was something about the way the jeans fit around her body.

"I made some tea, if you'd care to have that," I offered, sitting on one of the large leather sofas.

"That's fine," she said, joining me. She curled her legs up under her, leaning towards me.

"I thought I would start with the basics," I said with a smile. "I'm Joshua Edward Clemson. Very nice to meet you."

"Tanya Irinovna Dezhnev," she answered, also smiling and holding out one delicate hand. I shook it. So, Russian?

"So, you already know what I do," I began.

"You're going to laugh at me, Mr. Lit major," she said shaking her head.

"I promise not to laugh," I answered seriously.

"I'm a writer," she said.

"That's not funny. That's very brave."

"Hmm, well, I write romance novels. Okay, not romance novels. More like smut novels."

My eyebrows went up. "Oh."

She sighed. "I guess you're not laughing."

"No, I was surprised, but I'm still impressed. Making a living from writing would be fantastic. I can't say anything derogatory about it." I paused for a moment as I looked into her golden brown eyes. "In fact, it's sort of sexy."

Her pupils dilated when I said that, and her lips parted slightly. Everything about her was drawing me in, and if I let myself, I would fall in and drown.

"Where do you live, normally," I asked. My voice had dropped a few notches in pitch, but there wasn't anything I could do about it short of running back to my room.

"Alaska," she answered, leaning over, just fractionally.

"I've never been," I said. "I've heard it's beautiful."

"You have no idea," was her response. Her lips just brushed mine again, before lowering to brush across my jaw and then settle on a spot in the hollow underneath my jawbone. My eyes were starting to cross. My hands went up to caress her shoulders.

I stopped and pushed her back a centimeter or two. "Well, this didn't go the way I was envisioning, although I know a little bit more about you than I did."

"It's all right, Josh. I'm staying for a week. We have a few more days to get to _know_ each other."

I kissed her one more time. "I want to know you very much, but right now, I need to get to bed. I have a lot to do tomorrow at Bella Libri."

I walked her back to her room, and took the seven additional steps to my own door. I went in and settled myself in for a restless night, but was out quickly.

I woke with a start and abruptly jumped out of bed and walked to the window. The sun was just coming up. It would be a while before the hot breakfast they served here at the Den would be ready, although muffins and the like were available at all hours. I decided the morning was perfect for a run. I needed time to process this new development with Tanya.

The morning was cold enough – perhaps the high 30s or maybe 40 degrees – that I put on my running tights and a long-sleeved running shirt. I wandered through the common room where Seth was carrying a load of wood for one of the fireplaces. He looked at me in surprise, but I just waved and went out to the front porch to stretch.

I took a quick jog down the street and back, then did a more strenuous stretch. Just as I was about to begin my run, Leah appeared in a running outfit.

"How about a running partner?"

I was stunned, my mouth hanging open like an idiot. Leah was an exotic beauty with her lovely Native American coloring and sleek, short black hair. She was tall and thin but very fit looking with clearly defined musculature. I had never imagined she would spend time with me of her own accord—it had seemed patently obvious that she found me and my company highly distasteful. I didn't think I could remember her even speaking to me unnecessarily.

"Uh, sure. I don't mind. Do you think you can keep up? I have about a 7 minute pace."

"Don't worry about me," she said, grinning. "I'll make sure you don't lose a step in your pace. How far do you want to go?"

"I could do 7 or 8 miles."

I was a little perturbed by the look she gave me – she seemed to be saying that I was wimping out.

"I've got a good 10 mile route through the woods. Do you think you're up for it?"

I knew I could do 10 miles, but I'd end up being more tired through the day. On the other hand, it was hard to admit that I couldn't keep up with Leah.

"Sure. I think I can handle it."

The look she gave me was amused, as if she knew I was pushed into it by a testosterone surge.

"Well, then, if you're ready." She started at an even warm-up pace, but after about three minutes she began to pick up some speed. The woods were full of a muted light, the branches and newly unfurling greenery making a woven roof through which the sun took a torturous path. The ground was thick with moist dead leaves from autumn, now breaking down to form new earth to furnish their parent trees with nutrition. We ran easily together, Leah just ahead of me and to the left so I didn't lose the unmarked path.

We had been running for about 10 or 15 minutes when suddenly I sensed movement to my right, and I gasped. The movement was gone before I could fully turn my head, but my impression was of a huge, red fur-covered creature.

"What was that?" I demanded, faltering a step.

"What was what?" responded Leah nonchalantly. She wasn't even breathing hard, but between the adrenaline from my surprise and the run I was beginning to pant a little.

"You didn't see a huge red animal back there?"

"No, but there are a lot of deer in these woods." She seemed very amused by my discomfort.

"This was _not_ a deer," I insisted. I saw what I saw. "It was too big. It was huge, like a horse."

"Maybe it was a fat Irish Setter."

I ignored her for the rest of the run, choosing to concentrate on exercising and breathing. I tried to focus as intently as possible on the actions of my body, shutting out all unnecessary external stimuli and any unrelated thoughts. I had planned to think about Tanya, but it seemed impolite with Leah right next to me. Instead, I used the run as a form of meditation, bringing my mind as far into relaxation as I could achieve while my body exerted itself at maximum capacity.

At some point I realized Leah had slowed her pace. "That's about 10," she said, still unaffected by our intense effort. "We can cool down over this next half mile or so."

I had to trust her judgment since I had no idea where we were or how much time had passed. I could see the woods had become brighter as the sun was now higher in the sky.

A few minutes later, I could see some of the cabins associated with the Den.

"You didn't do too badly," she told me grudgingly.

"That was nice," I thanked Leah. "You don't seem to have gotten a very good workout, but I did enjoy the company."

"Thanks to you, too," she answered, with the first genuine smile I had seen on her.

I walked slowly back to my room, passing Tanya's on the way. There was no reason to knock, although I thought about it. What would I say? Hi, I'm just checking to make sure you're real? Hi, I've been thinking about all the things I didn't do with you last night? Hi, I'm the complete numbskull who turned down every invitation you offered last night, and I want to make sure you're still interested?

Once in my room, I stripped, dumping everything on the floor as I walked to the shower. My planned ruminations for the run had been disrupted by Leah's presence, but now I had some time to think alone. The attraction I felt for Tanya had been instantaneous and powerful, but I had a sense that it was wrong to act on it. Why? Why had I been planning to cut women out of my life?

It all went back to Sylvia.

She had effectively cut me off from my past by stealing my home, my father, and every memento I had of my family. The subsequent mental breakdown I had (I really couldn't call it anything else) with the amnesia and the alcohol and the partying and, well, the wenching, had been one long attempt at self-medication. Distraction. Yet, even in the midst of all that (and Randall had been one of the big ingredients in this self-destructive behavior) I had done some pretty bizarre things with the women. I had tried to turn every sordid one-night stand into a relationship. None had lasted longer than about four weeks, for a variety of good reasons. I didn't want to have one-night stands. I wanted my parents had once had, what Bella and Edward had, what Uncle Kimani and Aunt Adrienne had.

So, I had pushed Tanya away and slammed on the brakes. The one-night stand was not the right way to start something real, and I liked Tanya more than I had liked any woman I had met in years. The problem now was to figure out the right way to start something real. I shut off the faucets and grabbed a towel.

Breakfast in the Den was a many-layered experience. The dining room was soothing with its natural materials in layers of honey tones. The tables, chairs, and floor were wood, the rugs were wool, and the accent pieces were Native American pottery, with an emphasis on wolf motifs. The pastries were excellent and the coffee was beyond heavenly. None of that was a match for the hot breakfast that would appear at 7:00 a.m. sharp. Eggs. Sausage. Bacon. Waffles. Fresh-cut fruit. I tried not to think of it during the week in Boston since it would trigger uncontrollable drooling.

I joined Leah, Seth, Jake, and Nessie at the largest table. A few other guests, mostly couples, were sitting at the smaller two-person tables along the windows. I had noticed that Nessie never ate anything but waffles and sausage drowned in syrup. I wasn't sure how she could maintain her figure with all that sugar, but it seemed to be working for her. I had also learned it was important to fill your plate before Seth and Jake had access to the food. I truly enjoyed the food, and thanked Seth, who had put breakfast together. Jake never cooked, I noticed, but Leah, Nessie, and Seth all traded off.

The most enjoyable feature of breakfast was the conversation. The four co-owners or managers or whatever they were had been good friends for years, I assumed. Their easy camaraderie was a pleasant way to begin the day. I was a little puzzled by the dynamic of the relationships, though. Jake and Nessie were married. That was clear. Seth and Leah were brother and sister. No problem there. The question I had pondered more than once was the relationship between Jake, Leah, and Seth.

"Hey, toss me that salt," said Jake to Seth.

I ducked, having seen the way condiments flew around the dining room. That was another interesting point. All four of them had lightning-fast reflexes. Maybe they'd all been in the circus together?

"You are funny," Seth chortled at me. "I have never seen anyone flinch at food so much."

"I've never eaten with a family of jugglers before," I retorted.

Jake chuckled and started tossing silverware in overlapping rings. Nessie and Leah both rolled their eyes.

"So, is the other guest going to join us for breakfast?" I queried, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Actually, I think _Tanya_ already left to go get ready for her work today," answered Nessie, with a knowing smile. I think I blushed, but I looked down quickly at my plate to cover it up.

"We had an interesting moment on our run," smirked Leah. I cringed. I had to know she would bring this up. "Josh got spooked by a deer."

"It was not a deer," I insisted, knowing that there was no way I would come out of this with my dignity intact.

"He said it was big and red," she added.

"Big and red, huh," said Seth, grinning and clapping me on the back. "What do you think of that, Jake? Maybe it was Bigfoot." Oh, great. Bigfoot. First my thesis is about a vampire-related document, now I've seen Bigfoot. What was next?

"Or the big, red ghost bear?" suggested Nessie, jabbing Jake in the ribs. Come to think of it, why did everyone seem to think Jake was getting teased?

"Very spooky," Jake answered in a tone of bored annoyance. "You know, I think I saw that cabin 2 might need a full top-to-bottom cleaning. Maybe Seth and Leah can work on that today."

"Geez, Jake." Leah was clearly not pleased. I had noticed she often complained about suggestions Jake made, but she never actually refused him.

"Well, I think that's my cue to head to the bookstore," I said, getting up from the table.

"I'll walk with you," Seth said quickly. "I've been meaning to pick up a book I saw there."

As Seth and I started the 4-block walk to Bella Libri, I thought I would use the time to find out a little more about the four friends. "So, how long have you all known each other?"

"Oh, we all grew up together," he answered easily. "Jake and Leah and I all grew up on the Quileute reservation in Washington state. Jake and Nessie got married during college."

"College? Isn't Nessie taking classes now?"

"Oh, yeah. She's getting another degree, I think."

"What did Jake major in? He seems to run the Den, but doesn't he also run the repair shop across from the strip mall?" Everyone I had met in Wolfeboro was a study in contradiction. Bella was too young to have her own business and a masters degree. Jake seemed to be as blue collar as they come, but he had gone to college. Edward was also too young for college and work, but confident enough to confront strangers about their predatory dating habits.

"Uh, well, I think he majored in mechanical engineering?" Seth seemed hesitant for some reason.

"I suppose that makes sense, a mechanic with a degree in mechanical engineering," I said dubiously. We had arrived at the bookstore, and Seth knocked on the door. Bella appeared with a big smile and let us both in.

"Hi, Seth, Josh. Good morning."

I greeted Bella, then went back to my desk area to get to work. I was planning to ask about next week during my mid-morning break.

* * *

"Edward, are you sure this is going to work?" I knew he could tell I had a bigger interest in Josh and his feelings than was strictly necessary. I was here to be a distraction, a bodyguard, and a baby-sitter, nothing more.

"We're not really lying. We're staging."

"That distinction is lost on me."

"Think of it as a seduction of a different kind," he said sardonically. "You're using your feminine wiles in a slightly different way."

"If you put it that way," I said, giving him look #5, head slightly tilted, eyebrows angled up, mouth angled. It annoyed him to no end when I did that. He snorted and shook his head.

"May I come as well, Edward?" asked Eleazar. We were about to leave Carlisle and Esme's home for my "training" at Bella Libri. Carmen was also helping out. Between the two of us, we should be able to manage the shop and keep an eye on Josh while the others headed out to Boston later in the week.

"I don't see why not," Edward answered with his brow furrowed. He was actually trying to see if there could be objections. Edward took planning to extraordinary levels. He glared at me, obviously having noticed my thoughts.

We all piled into our respective cars, and drove to the strip mall with the Cullen's three shops. Only Carlisle would have been forced out of his normal life as a surgeon to end up as a highly successful businessman without even trying. He had mentioned to me that they were accidentally clearing far more than they ever imagined.

Edward led us through the employee back entrance and into Bella Libri. Bella was already there, dealing with a customer at the front counter. Josh was sitting at a desk along the back wall. He looked up in shock as we filed into the shop. He was as handsome as I remembered, and smelled clean, a mixture of soap, shampoo, and a smell that was just him.

"Tanya, I didn't expect to see you here," he stammered out while standing to talk to me. He had some of the old-fashioned mannerisms, probably a consequence of being raised in the moneyed south.

The others continued up to the front of the shop, but I lingered to speak. "I told you last night that I was in town to help out Bella and Edward so they could take a short vacation this week."

"I suppose I was distracted when you told me," he confessed, turning slightly red. He smelled delicious, literally. He was wearing khakis and a button down, a very casual yet preppy look. He was so young, but the horrible things Edward had described had put an older look into his eyes.

"I should introduce you to my friends Carmen and Eleazar. She's going to help out here as well." Suddenly, I found myself wanting Carmen and Eleazar to like this young human.

"Doesn't Nessie run the shop when Bella is out?" he asked.

"Yes, but I think she is leaving as well. I think this is her spring break." This was a waste of my feminine wiles. I could see that Josh would have accepted anything I said with little complaint. He trusted me.

"Carmen, Eleazar!" I called out, a bit loudly for Josh's benefit. I could have whispered under my breath and they would have heard. The two of them came back to see us.

"Josh, these are my friends Carmen and Eleazar." I gestured back and forth between them. "This is Josh; he's staying at the Den with me."

Eleazar shook Josh's hand. "Very nice to meet you, Josh. Will you be here all week while these ladies run the shop?"

"If it's permitted," he answered. "My spring break is next week, and I'd like to get as much done on the analysis of this text as I can. I hadn't spoken to Bella about that yet."

I had been watching Josh, but turned to Eleazar, and was surprised to see that he was eyeing Josh speculatively, his head tilted slightly. I wasn't sure if Josh was aware of the look he was getting. I had known Eleazar for many years, and his expressions were easy for me to read. Suddenly Edward joined us, and he and Eleazar exchanged glances.

"I'd like to show you and Carmen the employee break room," said Edward to me. He opened the door into the back hallway and herded the three of us out of the store, leaving Josh behind to continue his studies.

We walked down the hall and went into a back room which required a code to get in. When the door closed behind us, I turned sharply to the two men.

"What was that about?" I demanded. Carmen looked at me in surprise. I suppose my tone was a little harsher than I intended.

"It's Josh," said Eleazar slowly. "He's gifted."

**AN2: I think I've said before that fluff is not easy for me. I think it shows. Sorry. Next chapter: Boston! **


	17. Boston

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: I meant to have this out a day ago, but wasn't feeling well this week. I ended up reading more than writing; and I have two recommendations, both E&B stories. First is edward-bella-harry-ginny's "Heart and Soul." It is a sweet love story/Twilight retelling with some really neat twists. I can't wait to see where it's going. Second is oxymoronic8's "Innocent, Vigilant, Ordinary."**

**Lastly, this chapter got complicated, and I had to keep combing back through it to make sure random people hadn't appeared where they weren't supposed to be. I hope you enjoy it.**

"_What was that about?" I demanded. Carmen looked at me in surprise. I suppose my tone was a little harsher than I intended._

"_It's Josh," said Eleazar slowly. "He's gifted."_

Ch. 17. Boston

Tanya looked poleaxed, a difficult achievement for a vampire. I knew how she felt, because I felt the same, and I'd had at least a minute or two to get used to the idea. I had heard Eleazar's surprise when he had reflexively probed Josh and found evidence of potential.

"Edward, I can't believe how many centuries I scoured this planet for gifted humans while you produce two with no effort whatsoever. In a matter of decades, no less." Eleazar's words were said in jest, but the sentiment rang true in his mind.

"I noticed he was different," I said, almost to myself. "His mind is strangely focused. He had some…difficulties with his stepmother, and he managed to put it out of his mind for about six months." I didn't mention that he'd had a severe reaction when he'd come out of his amnesia due to my stupid move of leaving him that note. Nor did I mention that his reaction had practically given me a seizure.

"How would that manifest as a gift?" asked Carmen, looking at her husband. Tanya also looked at Eleazar, but didn't speak.

"I don't know. I can tell the potential exists, but I can only accurately determine a gift when I probe a vampire." I remembered this about Eleazar's gift. In humans, the latent gift was usually too weak to be clearly discernable. "I can say that his potential is great. It is almost certainly a mental gift." Eleazar looked thoughtful, tapping his chin with one finger and gazing up at the fluorescent lights.

"Do you think the Volturi could have recognized the potential?" I asked with concern. His being used as a pawn in our conflict had already put him in danger. Up until that moment, I assumed the greatest danger was in his untimely death. Now it was possible that Aro had chosen a different fate for Josh.

"No. No one in the Guard would be able to sense this." Eleazar was very confident of his assessment.

"Are you certain?" It was the first thing Tanya had said since Eleazar's revelation, and she spoke softly. I looked at her, and when she returned the glance, her face was contorted with concern. _Don't read me now. I don't even know my _own_ mind. I don't need you helping me to figure this out._

We were interrupted by Carlisle entering the break room.

"Did I hear you correctly, Eleazar?" he asked with curiosity as he closed the door gently behind him. "Josh is gifted?" With confirmation from Eleazar, Carlisle continued, "How does this change our plans for the week?"

"Is that your only concern, Carson?" asked Tanya testily.

"Tanya," he responded with a small smile. "Our plans for the week include protecting him. That's why you're here. That's why we're splitting forces between Wolfeboro and Boston." _Edward? Is something else going on here?_

I couldn't respond overtly in front of Tanya, so merely looked at the floor. I had a feeling I knew exactly what was going on. Her erratic behavior reminded me of my first encounters with Bella and my inability to process what was happening to me.

"I don't think this development changes anything about the trip to Boston," offered Eleazar.

"I agree," I chimed in. "The Boston trip is unaffected. The aftermath may be different. We'll have to decide what to do with him. If the Volturi are likely to kill him, we will have to take steps to protect him."

"Protecting him isn't affected by this new information either," retorted Tanya. "The gift is only active if he is turned, and I can't foresee any circumstance where protecting him is the same as turning him."

"Of course we don't plan to turn him," answered Carlisle with surprise. "That's not an option on the table. I merely felt that our protection might be different if we are concerned he'll be kidnapped, turned, and then unduly influenced by the Guard."

"You mean Chelsea," said Eleazar. Chelsea was the member of the Volturi Guard capable of strengthening loyalty, among other things. None of the Guard served entirely of their own volition, and most of the gifted members were the last survivors of exterminated covens.

"Mmhm," was Carlisle's response. He looked at me thoughtfully a moment. "I think I'd like to meet this young man. I'm certain I won't be able to feel anything different about him, but I'd like to meet him nonetheless." _I wish there was a reasonable way to study this. I wonder if functional MRI could register the neurological differences? This is the first person I've known to be gifted while they were still human._ Carlisle hadn't practiced medicine for six years, but it was still an integral part of his worldview.

"I'll introduce you," I offered. "Do you want to go now?"

"No time like the present," he said.

"I think I'll join you," said Tanya. I listened for her motivations, but she was reciting Mendeleev's periodic chart. In Russian. I wondered briefly if she had met Mendeleev, and if so, under what circumstances.

The group of us left the break room, Carmen and Eleazar entering Rae's antiques to talk with Esme, and the rest of us heading for Bella Libri. After we filed into the store, I approached Josh.

"Josh, I'd like you to meet Carson Platt, owner of Hunter's Crossing." Josh dropped his pen, and stood gracefully at once. He smiled at Carson, and held out a hand in greeting. His mental focus had changed almost immediately, from complete immersion in his work, to complete attention to the people before him. It was fascinating.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Joshua Clemson," he introduced himself as he and Carlisle shook hands. I had noticed his charm on other occasions. In his own mind, he was confident, open, and friendly towards meeting Carlisle. It was disturbing, because he was projecting the same façade that I often did when meeting humans, but Josh was not acting. I glanced at Tanya, and noted that she was gazing at Josh with a happy look. I couldn't put another word to it. I was used to seeing her being coy, seductive, flirty, or amused. Happy was not Tanya, at least, not the Tanya I was used to.

"I thought I'd introduce you since Carson was instrumental in helping us obtain _Il viaggiatore_," I said, offering them a conversation topic. It wasn't even a lie, although it wasn't a good representation of Carlisle's role with the manuscript.

"Would you care to have coffee with me, Josh?" asked Carlisle. "Tanya, you're welcome to join us," he added, preventing Tanya from having to invite herself. I watched as the three of them exited the shop to head up to the Starbuck's above us.

The shop was now empty, save for Bella and myself. I wandered over to where she stood at the counter, finishing our weekly inventory and finalizing our web sales. She was wearing a casual jersey dress in ink blue, with a blue and white striped scarf as a belt. Her hair was up in a bun, held out of her face. She was stunning in her unaffected concentration on her work. She looked up at me, and smiled with the look of happiness and love that I would do anything in the world for, even go back to high school. I was at her side instantly, touching her arm with one hand, her back with the other. I pressed my chin lightly into the crook of her neck to see how close she was to being done.

"Are we shutting down at noon?" I asked, moving into her body with my own. "We can send Josh back to the Den in Tanya's capable hands."

"It has been a few days since we were alone," she answered, still concentrating on her laptop screen. She typed in a few numbers, then scrolled around on the screen.

"I know," I whispered in her ear. "All this planning has kept us both busy, and we're supposed to hunt tonight with the Denalis. I think we could use a break." I was gratified by the way her shoulder and ear started to nudge towards each other. She was just a little bit ticklish in the ear, shoulder, neck area. I wasn't teasing about the break. The tension had been increasing moment by moment since Jake and I had returned from Boston, every revelation about Josh and Randall putting additional torque on an imaginary crank. Jasper's tactical sessions were long drawn-out affairs, especially since we had little idea what we would walk into in Boston. The hunting trips planned for tonight and tomorrow were attempts to release some of the tension before one or more of us exploded and Esme had to go furniture shopping again.

Bella hit the "save" button for her spreadsheet, and I reached out and closed the laptop while kissing below her ear.

"I was going to write an email, Edward," she scolded, but her voice had gone breathy and she wasn't the least bit angry. "How long is it until noon?"

It was after eleven that night when we finally set out on our hunting trip. Josh was asleep, under the watchful eyes of the pack. I drove the 11-person van Carlisle had bought as a vehicle for the strip mall up to Moultonborough, on the north side of Lake Winnipesaukee. We were within an easy run of the White Mountain National Forest surrounding the Appalachian Trail and a few of what people on the East Coast would call mountains. At this time of year and at this time of night only the die-hard hikers and campers would be out on the trail. We wouldn't go that close to the trail itself since it attracted most of the human activity.

"What type of hunting should we expect?" asked Eleazar.

"Nothing like what it could have been," said Garrett. He was sitting on the back bench of the van with one arm around Kate. "I haven't been in New Hampshire for a number of years, but it used to be full of wolves and mountain lions. The bobcats were plentiful, too. Not that I was interested back then."

"There's still bobcat and black bear," said Bella. "They're not endangered; in fact, sometimes we've had to take out nuisance animals. The wolves and mountain lions are no longer in this area."

"Emmett would point out that New Hampshire has never been a home for grizzly bear," I mentioned. "Deer are quite plentiful here."

"What about moose?" asked Tanya.

"Natasha!" I said playfully. "Are you going to get moose and squirrel?"

"Edward, that is the worst Russian accent I have ever heard," called Kate from the back.

Bella ignored me. "Most of the moose are further north from where we'll be tonight."

I pulled down a dirt path which led nowhere. It was merely convenient for stashing the van. "Alice says to meet back up about 30 minutes before sunrise. We should be fine to make it back home before any solar-related catastrophes."

We split off into groups. Tanya stayed with Carmen and Eleazar while Kate and Garrett went off alone. Bella and I stayed together, a treat we hadn't expected. We hadn't been sure whether Tanya would have stayed with us.

"I've shielded you since before we left," said Bella, taking off at an easy pace, for us, in a northerly direction. "Unless they've secretly managed to put a GPS unit on the van, Demetri can't know where you are."

"This is a switch," I said. I wasn't sure if I was amused, touched, or enraged. The first two sentiments were for Bella, the third for the Volturi and their unjustified attitude toward my family. "You taking care of me without letting me know your plans, that is. What if he's tracking Tanya?"

"I don't think Tanya is high on Aro's wish list. I wish we'd brought Jake and Nessie. I'd feel better about you being out here."

"Hmm." I wasn't used to Bella worrying about my safety, and I wasn't sure I liked it.

"I heard that Leah really tired Josh out this morning," said Bella, changing the subject dramatically.

"What? Exactly how did she do that?" And would Tanya rip out her throat when she heard?

"She got assigned to watch him when he went out for his run." Bella clearly had enjoyed her little joke. "Nessie told me about it when she called earlier. And Josh saw Jake out patrolling."

"What?"

"You seem to be saying that a lot." She giggled, and I smiled in spite of myself.

"You're making me say it. What was Jake thinking?"

"Obviously he wasn't thinking. It was okay, the pack managed to turn it into some kind of joke about Bigfoot."

I thought back to the morning. Josh had not been preoccupied by seeing a giant wolf, but then he was good at not thinking about things. Perhaps it was not a problem.

I caught the faintest whiff of an aroma, the scent of a far-off herd, and venom began to pool in my mouth. It was enough to begin the hunt.

"Do you smell that, love?" I felt my senses beginning to overpower me, thirst burning in my throat. I could hear every leaf rustle, every scurrying small animal, and the rhythmic pounding of my feet and Bella's. I could see more sharply, even on this dark night. Bella turned her head toward me, and I could see her eyes had darkened, pupils fully dilated. Her lips were parted as she scented the wind, her head cocked as she listened to the quiet symphony of the forest. She was beautiful this way, too, wild and free, released from the bonds of our daily charade. It had taken me many years of marriage, but in Bella I could see the beauty of hunt, something I had always felt was monstrous and dirty. Together, we sought our prey.

Little happened between our Saturday night hunting trip and our Wednesday departure for Boston, unless you counted the four fights between Jasper and Emmett. I managed to stay clear of the physical fights, but was repeatedly drawn into bickering with Jasper and downright shouting matches with Emmett. Rosalie, Alice, and Bella had all given us ultimatums. Garrett and Eleazar had been amused by our antics, which was more annoying to me than it should have been. They were substantially older than the three of us, and not used to living with brothers. I shuddered to think of how the week would have gone without the hunting. Jasper could usually maintain an aura of calm, but he was more caught up in the tension than the rest of us. His tension would rapidly become our tension, until Alice could snap him out of it.

Finally, it was time to leave, with five hours until the flight to Paris Jasper had booked for Alice and me. The Boston group consisted of Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Eleazar, Bella, Renesmee, and me. That left Rose, Esme, Carlisle, Tanya, Garrett, Kate, Carmen, and the wolves to protect Josh and patrol Wolfeboro. I drove the van, Alice sitting beside me in the passenger seat. Bella and Jasper were behind us, Emmett sat with Eleazar, and Nessie had the back row to herself. The van was just long enough that Alice could see with Nessie on the back row. If it hadn't been long enough, Carlisle would have bought the 17-person van. Bella put her shield over everyone save for Alice and me, and I turned the van onto the highway.

"Jasper, why did you need Amun to know we planned to come today?" This had been bothering me. I knew Jasper had used compromised identities for Alice and me when booking the airline tickets. There had been a scare in Germany two years before with Charles and Makenna, one of the two times we had actually found evidence of Volturi activity. We later had theorized the Volturi had been drawn there by the roundabout communication method Charles had used to find us. We required everyone to use the throwaway cells after that debacle. Everything from that consulting trip had been trashed, assumed to be compromised. This trip, however, was a ruse. We wanted Demetri to know what we were "planning," assuming he was watching us.

"I wasn't sure if the identities would be enough to tip off the Volturi," he responded. "I have to admit I'm still suspicious about Amun. He's played both sides before. When his call came in, it could have been a coincidence, but it could have been something else. If he called for a reason, it seemed best to let the Volturi think we were on our way."

"I've been watching their coven," said Alice. "But I've been looking for dangers to them, not dangers to us. If he's been playing both sides, I'm not sure I would have caught it."

"He annoys me enough that I didn't pay much attention to him when we had our visits," I added, annoyed now with myself. This was a negative development. I had to admire Jasper's ability to think through the possibilities. "He has called us far more than anyone else, demanding that we fly out for a consultation."

The van was silent, everyone pondering Amun's motives, I assumed. Bella's shield meant I could only hear Alice. She was looking at our future and at Amun's. Our future was confused, the outcome of our trip to Boston uncertain. Alice was only certain we would be near the airport, a certainty I shared since that was where I was driving. I wondered whose indecision was clouding our future.

Bella broke the silence. "Surely Amun would stay away from Aro so as to keep Benjamin protected."

"He could also broker a separate peace for his coven," said Jasper. "I doubt Aro would honor that in the long run, but Amun has a strange relationship with that boy. He's obsessed with Benjamin. I don't think any of our other allies would consider betrayal, and Aro may be desperate for information. I can only imagine what he would promise Amun."

"Benjamin would kill Amun himself if he knew," put in Alice. We had spent more time with the Egyptian coven than the others, mostly with Tia and Benjamin. Benjamin loathed the Volturi. Aro had contacted him not long after the confrontation we'd had near Forks, graciously inviting him to join the Guard. There had been a minor earthquake in Cairo that day, Benjamin's not-so-subtle refusal.

I was pulling into a drive close to Logan International. "Do you think this is close enough, Eleazar?" I had a basic understanding of Demetri's gift, but not enough to know the subtleties. We wanted to avoid parking at or driving through the airport since every license plate was recorded.

"It depends on how far away he is," said Eleazar. "If he's too close behind, he'll know. But if he's that close, I'm not sure it would matter." The two of them had been like brothers, of a sort, or maybe friendly cousins. For centuries, both were members of the Guard whose work took them away from Volterra. Aro had trusted them both to wander the earth and carry out his wishes, and that had created a bond between them.

I looked at Bella in the rearview mirror. "Okay, love, you can add us in." I was briefly overwhelmed by the return of everyone's thoughts, but the noise muted to a buzz quickly. I thought I could feel a warmth of inclusion, that I was part of Bella, but it had to be my imagination. Her shield was undetectable.

"Now we have time to kill until dark," I said to no one in particular. We all knew the plan. The flight departure was scheduled just before sunset, and we would wait until twilight to invade Randall's home. Jasper's plan, which I didn't fully like, left Renesmee, Bella and me in the van while Jasper, Emmett, Eleazar, and Alice went into the apartment. Jasper felt that Bella and I could concentrate more effectively on keeping up the shield and listening to the surroundings if we weren't involved in the break-in. Renesmee needed to be wherever Alice wasn't. Schematics of the apartment complex suggested that we would always be close enough to hear each other on a vampire-audible frequency and for Bella to maintain her shield. I wasn't needed to facilitate communication between the two groups. I trusted my brothers to see everything I would see, and I was physically present to watch Bella and Renesmee. Still, I found myself wanting to go into the apartment to see and smell with my own senses.

Everyone was caught in their own concerns. Well, Emmett was not concerned. He was antsy, though, excited to be moving rather than sitting and waiting. Alice continued to monitor our future, which was solid up until the time I started driving toward Randall's apartment. Jasper was rehearsing each planned move in his mind, continuing to debate whether to leave me or Emmett in the van.

"You leave me," I told him reluctantly. "Emmett's too keyed up to wait." Jasper glanced behind him at Emmett, who smiled like the cat that ate the grizzly bear, and I felt a growing sense of calm. Jasper was putting his gift to good use.

"I can usually feel attacks on my shield," said Bella. "I haven't gotten a whisper."

"Perhaps he's satisfied he knows what we're doing," I speculated.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly, with little more than random comments from each of us. Emmett eventually went on a tear with dirty knock-knock jokes that annoyed me and made Nessie laugh so hard she cried.

"It's time," said Jasper. Finally. I started the van, and we drove toward Randall's apartment.

"Josh's apartment is closer," I mentioned as we passed his street.

"You already know he's been visited by a hybrid," said Jasper. "Let's see who's been visiting the hybrid."

"I prefer the term 'humpire,'" said Renesmee from the back. I glanced at her in the mirror. She was grinning.

"No one's going to use the term humpire," said Emmett. "It's ridiculous."

"How about vampan?" asked Bella, watching me in amusement. I rolled my eyes, and she laughed, pleased with her joke.

"Focus!" said Jasper.

Our future was solidifying, at least the next half hour.

"It's empty," said Alice. "They've moved out of the apartment." The apartment, which I had seen in Josh's fuzzy memories, now stood emptied of its contents in Alice's vision.

"We still need to see it," said Jasper.

I parked illegally behind the complex. The garage had surveillance cameras, but we were in a dead zone at the back corner of the building.

"Come on!" said Emmett, itching to get the door opened.

"Quiet," said Jasper. "Do you hear anyone up there?" he asked me.

I let my mind drift through the sounds of the building. It was noisy, both with audible and mental sounds. It wasn't easy to focus on a physical space, but I tried, aiming my eyes where Randall's apartment should be.

"I can't hear anything," I said finally. "Any thoughts I hear are about dinner or sleep or other similar things. I don't feel anyone watching or waiting for us."

"What about on the street?"

"No."

Jasper was ready, at last, and opened the sliding van door. He was followed by the others in the back as Alice left from the passenger door. They would have been dark blurs to human eyes as they flitted into the building.

"Are they going too far for you?" I asked Bella.

"Not at all," she said confidently. "I can feel each of them."

"What do we feel like?" I asked absently, as I watched through Jasper's eyes. He and Alice were going up one set of stairs to the fourth-floor apartment while Eleazar and Emmett took the far stairs. The scent of vampire and hybrid was strong to Eleazar and Emmett, indicating a lot of traffic, but the scents were intermingled and overlaid with humans as well, and the exact scents were hard to discern.

"I can feel everyone like a shining light, a beacon of warmth," she answered.

The four inside had reached Randall's floor, and were approaching each other from opposite ends of the hallway.

"They've reached his floor," I said.

Jasper deftly picked the lock, so quickly that it looked no more suspicious than using a key.

"They're inside. It is empty." I was disappointed. Alice was rarely wrong, especially on an event so close in time, but it was still disappointing.

"Can they tell who's been in there?" asked Renesmee.

"They can hear you," I said.

"They're escalating," said Jasper grimly as he scented the emptied apartment. "Felix, Demetri, another vampire, and two hybrids all have been in this apartment at one time or another, but they've definitely all left now, either yesterday or the day before. I can't believe they've given up on whatever this operation is. This setup is too complicated to be pure surveillance." He was speaking rapidly, the sound audible only to the vampires and Renesmee. _Too many of them. If they were all here, we'd be too evenly matched._

"Maybe they scrubbed the operation when they caught my scent in Josh's apartment," I offered, knowing that I was wrong. They had moved, but the operation was still in play. We just didn't know who or what the target was, and we didn't know the timeline.

"You mean your fake note?" asked Emmett from the kitchen of the apartment. "Josh could have gotten that note from you in Wolfeboro. They couldn't have known that you had Jacob tape it to the door."

"Emmett is right," mused Eleazar. It was very helpful to have his take on things. He understood Aro, Felix, and Demetri in ways I could not, even though I had heard their thoughts. "Your scent may have disturbed them, but I doubt it would have changed their plans." He was exploring the empty bedroom. "I think only one of them lived here. The scent of one hybrid is strong here, although the others have been in this room. They may have only come to empty the apartment." His thoughts followed along with Jasper's. Three vampires and two hybrids added up to far more than we expected to find here.

"There's nothing left to see here," said Jasper. He was more disappointed than I. "We're going back to the van."

It was only a few seconds before they returned and climbed back into the van. Alice was pursing her lips in annoyance as she slid into the passenger seat beside me.

"Now what?" asked Bella, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"We should check Josh's apartment," said Jasper from beside her. "If they _are_ cleaning up, they may be planning to take him or kill him. They could be watching his apartment."

"Dammit," I said to no one in particular. It had felt exhilarating to be doing something, and I had sensed the same sentiment in Emmett in particular, but in all of us to one degree or another. We hadn't acted fast enough, though, and that burned. The information we had gathered was vital, but it wasn't the fight or the resolution we had been seeking.

I was about to start the engine, when Alice cried out incoherently.

I saw him too, that familiar face in Alice's mind. It had been eight years since we had seen a glimpse of Demetri, and now, on the heels of literally picking up his scent, Alice had a vision.

"What is it?" demanded Jasper. _You tell me the truth, now, Edward._

"Demetri," said Alice dreamily before I could respond to Jasper. "He's on a boat. He's got a cell phone in his hand. The time…it's only five minutes from now. I can see it on the cell phone. He's dialing a number."

The explosion hit us both, visually and aurally, a blast clearly in the cargo compartment of a plane. We both gasped with the force of it, the noise and the shock and the brightness. It was the plane we were meant to be on, high above the Atlantic, exploding, breaking up, hurtling toward the black water. Demetri looked up into the sky, his face impassive as he watched the fireball high above him, and then he abruptly disappeared.

"He meant us to see that," I said in horror. "He gave us five minutes to get out. He's got a boat or something; he's going to try to track us in the water."

"What are you talking about!" roared Emmett.

"It's just enough time for us to know we can't save anyone, not without clearly revealing ourselves," I continued, unable to answer Emmett. Were there children on the flight? Alice didn't see passengers in her vision. She wasn't attuned to humans, especially ones she didn't know. She saw the vision because of Demetri's intent to harm us and because she was always looking for Demetri.

"Tell us what's going on," Bella soothed me, leaning forward to rub her hand over my shoulder.

"Demetri is going to blow up our plane. He's going to kill all of them, all those passengers, just to get us alone," said Alice woodenly. She was in shock.

"I guess he'll be surprised when you don't rain out of the sky, then," said Emmett with some satisfaction. _Sorry about the humans, though._

I heard a load oath from Jasper that I had never heard him say in mixed company, and turned to him in surprise before I realized it was only in his mind.

"I have to get back to Wolfeboro _now_," he growled at vampire speed. "You're listed on that flight, but you never got on. I have to either fix it so you are on the manifest or get you out of the computer before NSA locks down all the transportation computers. They will not stop looking at those records ever. It looks like terrorism."

"Can you talk Carlisle through it?" I asked in desperation, also at hyper speed. We couldn't afford to waste time. The van wouldn't get back fast enough.

"No, it's really complicated. I can't tell what I'm going to have to do until I see the information on the screens."

"Running you'll make it," said Alice confidently to her mate. I saw the vision with her. "You're taking Edward."

"I'm not leaving you," said Jasper desperately.

"You have to take one of us, and the van is safer for Alice with Bella and the others," I said. I was also much faster than Alice. I wouldn't slow Jasper down. "I can hear Felix or whoever coming even if he has Randall with him. Let's go."

We jumped out of the van, and Emmett took my place at the wheel.

"Emmett, don't go home until after you get a call. Go in the opposite direction. We'll use the throwaway cell to call you," said Jasper. He squeezed Alice's hand as I kissed Bella on the forehead. Then we were off into the night.

**AN2: I hope that was action-y enough!**


	18. Dilemmas

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN1: There is a section of this chapter which I must attribute to the proddings of Justine Lark and edward-bella-harry-ginny. Some of the verbiage was written by ebhg, and she reviewed the entire chapter as well (but all errors should be considered mine and mine alone!!) I'll explain more in the AN at the end of the chapter. Happy Easter!**

Ch. 18. Dilemmas

The house was quiet, my three "sons" having gone to Boston. The absence of Edward and Jasper meant that I could relax my control; I could think and feel what I needed without raising their concerns. Esme was in the living area on the ground floor looking at catalogs of upcoming estate sales on her laptop; I could hear her quietly humming, occasionally clicking the keyboard. She was intensely worried about the trip to Boston, but had chosen to lose herself in work to dispel her anxiety. Everyone else was at the Den, ostensibly to have a get-together, but covertly protecting Joshua. I was in my study, seated in my desk chair, but facing the back wall of the room contemplating the Solimena. The painting's likeness of the Volturi trio and me was nicely executed, if a bit idealized. There was a distinct aura of holiness or wisdom on each of our immortal faces. I didn't recall that being present the last time I had faced the trio.

I had considered Aro a friend, someone with whom I shared a mutual respect. We had agreed to disagree over our diets, and therein lay part of the problem. Had I, by accepting in others what I could not accept in myself, sowed the seeds of this moment? I had respected the Volturi as the keepers of the peace. Without their edicts regarding secrecy and their ability to enforce their will, the planet would have been torn apart by wars among the immortals. Humans would have no expectation of safety. Every moment would be a fight for survival among my kind. Even the thin veneer of civilization which persisted among the vampires would have been erased. The Volturi were needed. Well, they had been needed.

I understood initially when there had been an open invitation for Edward, Alice, and Bella to join the Guard. They were uniquely gifted individuals. If they had chosen to leave our family, I would not have stopped them. To be a member of the Guard had been a great honor. A strong Guard had meant improved safety, both for my kind and for the humans.

I hadn't allowed myself to think about Alice's visions of Edward with the Volturi until now, and I knew that I was angry, perhaps more than I had ever been in my life. I could not think of many things more vile than what Aro had planned for Edward, the son of my heart and my first companion. My hands began to shake with fury, and I had to release the arms of the chair before I destroyed it. Esme would hear, and I needed time alone to think. I leaned over, placing my head in my hands.

Why Edward? Aro had many gifted male vampires at his disposal, and he routinely lured women to their deaths in Volterra. With so many opportunities for mating pairs, would he really need Edward? They had obviously already successfully created at least one hybrid. Why would Aro still want Edward for this cruel experiment? If Alice's vision were correct, Aro was attempting hybridization with Demetri, one of his most powerfully gifted guards. Was Demetri Randall's father? Did Demetri lack the extensive control that Edward had honed after years of denying his bloodlust? Edward was certainly highly experienced; his musical skills, book knowledge and medical degrees notwithstanding, Edward had proven to be highly intelligent. Edward prided himself on his control; Renesmee was proof enough of that. I had nearly killed Edward when I turned him, and he was half my age when he tasted Bella's highly tempting blood and stopped himself, without a trace of venom left in her system. Not only did he resist drinking his singer, he fell in love with her.

If that wasn't enough, more than once, without ever having experienced that level of passion before, he made love to her. Not even Tanya or Kate, two succubae, could boast that. Not even their first ten partners survived. It took them scores of years to rein in their strength and blood-lust. Could it be that Aro simply wanted Edward's control?

What if it was more than just control? Edward has admitted that Aro was quite taken with Edward's ability to read every mind within a fairly wide radius without the need of physical contact. Aro knows of Renesmee's gift…as Edward's daughter, she was gifted beyond the hybrids that Joham created. Nahuel had assured us his sisters were quite ordinary (given their unusual genetics). What if Aro wants more than a host of hybrids? What if he wants an army of_mentally gifted_ hybrids?

And surely there was a technological solution, a medical solution to Aro's obsession with creating hybrids. I was not an expert in reproductive medicine, but artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization were standard techniques. The human women didn't have to die, or even be turned. Rosalie, Edward and I had repeatedly reviewed Bella's pregnancy over the years. I felt that she could have been kept human if we had only understood the hybrid development and gestation time. We had been working in the dark then, but we understood now how we could have kept Bella healthy and how soon we could have performed an emergency Caesarean. Hybrid physiology was so robust that a premature delivery was unlikely to cause complications in the baby. Had the Volturi attempted any assisted reproduction? If so, was it successful? If their attempts had failed, why were the attempts unsuccessful? Alice's vision showed Edward in a room with a naked woman. That was definitely not encouraging any theories of successful assisted reproduction.

Aro has at least one new hybrid, whether fathered naturally, or through medical assistance, why wouldn't they just continue with the potential fathers already in the guard? Are the gifted males of the Volturi not gifted enough for Aro's experiment? Or was it simply control?

I leaned back in my chair tapping the tips of my fingers together, and I considered sending Aro one of our cell phones to discuss these options with him. Ha. I suppressed a snort, mindful of Esme's hearing. It was a ridiculous notion that I would offer a medical consultation for Aro, after he had arranged for it to be impossible for me to continue practicing medicine.

Perhaps sending him the cell phone would allow me to defuse our other points of conflict. I was not stopping my children from joining him. I was not preparing an army to defeat him. He had touched Edward back in Washington; Aro knew our intentions were peaceful. Were negotiation and open discussion futile? I sighed softly as the answer came to me; then I listened for Esme. She was still humming to herself. I could hear the quiet rustle of paper as she flipped pages.

I was not naïve. A dislike of violence did not mean I was incapable of understanding or committing it. I had worked many years in trauma rooms, I had lived with the Volturi, and I had a wife and a daughter who had been abused by men. I had never killed a human, but I had dispatched my share of vampires. I had seen evil. Human society would condemn me for a monster; I was harboring murderers in my own house. In my family, Edward, Rose and Bella were the only others who had never killed while in the throes of the instinctual bloodlust that could control our kind. Jasper and Edward had lived as true vampires, purposely seeking human blood. Rose had killed out of revenge. Was it wrong for me to forgive them, help them hide their errors, and love them still? Was I any better than the vampires who chose to continue to feed from humans? A coherent philosophy to justify myself escaped me, but I still felt I was better. I was reaching the point where I had only condemnation for my old friends.

If Alice's visions were correct, Aro's greatest wish was to enslave my children and kill the rest of my family. The other members of the alliance would soon follow us into oblivion without the triple threat of Alice, Edward, and Bella. Jane and Alec would again be the most formidable threats in the vampire world.

I was approaching the conclusion that the only solution to our conflict was the destruction of the Volturi.

I could not let my sons know this. I could make no decisions, for that would alert Alice. I could not think these thoughts because Edward would hear me. I could not have these feelings because Jasper would understand. My family relied on me to make the decisions which impacted us all, or to mediate the discussions among us. It had always been my ideals which had kept us a family: protect humans, value life. I believed our lives were worth living, and I loved every member of my family. I knew that they relied on my commitment to compassionate living. My faith and commitment, even when not shared by the others, were rocks of stability for them. I could not make the choice which would condemn them to death or slavery.

The only solution to our problem that I could see was a violent one.

The only solution to our problem was impossible.

I was losing hope.

I did the only thing I could do in despair. I silently slipped to the floor on my knees and bowed my head. I recalled Philippians 4:8-13. I would think of the pure and the noble. I would be content in all circumstances. I would be strengthened to do what needed to be done.

I stood as silently as I had knelt, listening again for Esme. She did not need gifts to see that I was agonizing. She was coming up the stairs. I returned to my chair.

"Carson?"

"In my study." I swiveled halfway so it would appear I was turning away from my desk.

She opened my door, and stood leaning against the frame, a small smile on her lips. She was wearing a simple dress in light brown. I imagined it was expensive, likely an ABW original. She was as beautiful as sunshine and just as welcome in my life. I knew Esme had given up designing in this incarnation of ourselves in order to suffer with me. I kept looking at her, observing every detail of her face even though I had it memorized down to each pore.

"What are you thinking, darling?" Esme had started to use "darling" as often as possible, since she could no longer call me Carlisle. She hadn't said as much, but I knew she hated "Carson" more than I did.

"Why do you ask?" I replied, standing to walk over to her.

"You have the most curious smile on your face." Her head tilted upward as I approached, her eyes remaining locked on mine.

"I was thinking of you, actually. How beautiful you are and how I don't say it often enough."

"If you keep talking like that, we'll never make it over to the Den."

"I don't think they need our help tonight," I told her, leaning down to touch our lips together.

"Jasper doesn't want us to stay alone all night," she reprimanded me, but there was no force behind her words, and she had one arm encircling my waist, the other pressed onto my abdomen.

"Are you going to tell him?" I asked, running my tongue lightly over her lower lip. Unfortunately, I knew she was right, and so was Jasper. Prudence required us to follow Jasper's plan. But we could wait a few minutes. I deepened the kiss, and lost myself for a moment in the sensation of her skin and her floral scent. These stolen moments allowed us a semblance of our disrupted lives. I could imagine we existed outside of time and especially outside of this time where forces literally conspired against us. I was concerned only about Esme and her softness and the love we shared.

I heard it first, and broke off our kiss. Esme looked at me with puzzlement. I was hearing the rapid footfalls of approaching vampires. If they were close enough to hear, then they were too close for us to escape. Suddenly Jasper's warnings took on new meaning. My biggest concern was that Esme was here, with me, and I didn't know if I was enough to protect her from what was coming. She heard them, then, as well, and a brief look of panic crossed her delicate features.

"It's us. Jasper and Edward." The voice was faint, but audible. It was Edward, who had undoubtedly heard us long before I could hear him.

We both sagged a little in relief. I wondered what was bringing only Jasper and Edward home to us. _Where are the others?_

"It's a long story, and Jasper needs to get on the computer immediately."

Only 4 seconds later the front door flew open, and I heard the two descend quickly to the basement. Esme and I joined them quickly, staying out of Jasper's way. He was already seated at his console, three widescreen monitors stretched before him. He was typing rapidly, switching from keyboard to keyboard. The time lag for the computer to execute his commands was enough for him to enter a new command on a different computer. Both Jasper and Edward looked like they had been through a wind tunnel with bags of lawn clippings, Edward's hair wilder than normal and decorated with twigs and leaf bits. Jasper's shirt was torn.

_Did anyone see you? I know you had to cross highways._

"They would have had to be looking up out of their moon roof with night vision goggles," said Edward absently. He was watching the computer monitors intently.

_What is Jasper doing, Edward?_

Edward pushed me back a few steps, then spoke softly, I assumed so that we wouldn't distract Jasper from his work. "Demetri blew up the plane Alice and I were supposed to be on. He stepped away from his hybrid shield long enough to give Alice a vision. We had a 5 minute warning, but of course we weren't actually on the plane. Jasper has to fiddle with the airline computers so we can't be traced. Terrorist acts are investigated very thoroughly."

_Demetri wasn't trying to kill you._

"No, Carson, the warning was to give us enough time to get out. Demetri was waiting in the water to pick us up or track us or something. It isn't clear what his plan was from that point."

_Could he have had Alec or Jane with him?_

"We don't know. We didn't see anyone else in the vision." Edward was speaking to me, but his concentration was still on the screens where Jasper's rapid typing was scrolling windows almost faster than they could be read. I assumed that Edward was listening to Jasper's inner dialogue and following the results of each command.

_I don't like how each move they make includes a dilemma for us about killing humans. If you had been on the plane you would have had to leave them all behind to die._

"You noticed that as well. This goes all the way back to the FBI agents, and of course Joshua."

_Alice's vision of you with the Volturi has a similar dilemma in it. Kill the woman or betray your wife._ I regretted the thought as soon as I had it. Edward's face contorted briefly. _That was thoughtless of me._

"It's true, all the same," he said. "The level of violence and vindictiveness seems to be rising."

Jasper was muttering under his breath as he rapidly typed on his keyboards. "It's too late. I can't get in. Dammit."

"What do we do?" asked Edward.

"Pull out your phone and wait for it," said Jasper.

Edward's cell phone rang as he pulled it out of his pocket.

"Alice?"

"Tell him it's the fourth name and password on the list. The passkey will be 40F1FEC6EB90 in 45 seconds." Her voice sounded tinny through the cell phone speaker.

Jasper was already typing.

"Can we come home yet?" asked Alice plaintively. "Emmett's been singing to us."

"Tell her to come home," said Jasper as he typed. "We didn't catch a whiff of anything on the way back."

"I got that," said Alice. "Love you, Jazz. Bye, Edward." Then the phone clicked off.

"Are these your NSA passwords?" I asked Edward.

"Yes. We got a new batch three weeks ago when we took that 'shoe-buying' trip to Baltimore."

I supposed the NSA had some of the most secure computer systems on the planet, but they hadn't planned to be attacked by a team which consisted of a telepath, a psychic, and an accomplished hacker who could type faster than thought. Every so often my family would travel to the Baltimore/DC area and have lunch near the NSA offices. Edward would listen for anyone logging into their accounts and compile usernames and passwords. The trickiest step was for Alice to obtain the passkey. Each account holder had a small wireless device which would display a new 12-digit passkey every 60 seconds. To hack into the computers, Jasper needed a username, password, and the matching time-sensitive passkey. He had only used this method twice previously, always emergencies.

"I'm in," announced Jasper, still typing. "Remove these records, erase the log files…"

I tuned out Jasper's running dialogue to himself. The technical aspects of what he did were quite beyond my experience.

"I'm going to turn on CNN upstairs," said Esme to me quietly. She squeezed my arm, and I looked away from Jasper's monitors to her face. I saw worry there, and concern. At first, I thought it was for the humans aboard the jetliner to Europe, but then I realized the worry was for me. I followed her up the stairs. I had no useful advice for Jasper.

We sat together on the couch, watching the large screen. Flight 2134 to Paris was "Breaking News." The loss of communications with the plane had only happened 20 minutes earlier, and there was very little solid information available.

"You should call Tanya," said Esme.

"I suppose so."

My call was brief. I let Tanya know about the plane, then about the crew returning in the van. I didn't include details.

"What do you think the boys are doing now?" asked Esme.

"Mm. I haven't the foggiest. It sounds like Jasper just said something about a socket and a backdoor," I replied.

"That's what I heard, too," Esme said with a quiet laugh. "I would say that I'm getting too old to keep up with the new-fangled technology, but Jasper's been around a lot longer than I have."

Now on CNN they were reporting a planned search for wreckage and survivors, but unfortunately the plane had gone down in an area of the Atlantic with no ships in proximity. Of course. Demetri had planned well, and a search for Edward and Alice would have been difficult with Navy ships in the area. There had been 228 passengers and crew, among which were 18 elementary school choir members heading to Paris to sing. All the children were from a small town in Maryland. There was the usual speculation about terrorism. I was impressed that they could put the information together so quickly.

I stood and went to the window and looked out into the relative darkness. I could still see each tree, each branch, each budding leaf. Spring was beginning and life was burgeoning through the woods around our house. Purple and white crocuses were emerging from the lawn; Esme loved to see the tiny bulbs spread haphazardly through the yard. They only showed their faces for a few short weeks in spring. "As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone," I murmured to myself, a passage from Psalms 103. The life around me was ephemeral, but worth preserving for its time.

The thoughts came unbidden to my mind; I could not stop them even though I knew Edward could likely hear me. Could I truly consider that the continued existence of my family was important enough that 228 people should die in our place? I could end this conflict. If Aro had nothing to covet, he would feel no need to kill indiscriminately. The act of bringing down the plane was shocking for its flamboyance as well as for its disregard of human life.

Aro found my philosophy untenable, a threat to his continued power. I thought that might be as much incentive to destroy my family as the members he coveted. I didn't know if I could carry on opposing him knowing what cost there might be to other innocents.

I heard Edward's footsteps behind me, and he put a hand on my shoulder. He exuded a smell of soap and a feeling of warmth; I hadn't noticed that he'd gone up to shower.

"You're wrong, Carlisle. What you stand for, what our family stands for is worth the fight." He spoke very softly, breaking his own rule that we never use my name out loud. I hadn't heard it cross his lips in six years. I didn't think he spoke loudly enough for Esme to hear over the television.

I shook my head. "I only wanted a peaceful life, a chance to live with those I love and to help others. This conflict is an unintended consequence of that dream. This conflict is ensuring that my ideals are impossible to live up to."

"Have you considered, Carlisle, that fate or Providence or God has brought you this family to give you the _power_ to oppose Aro and the Volturi? It is not you preserving us. I think sometimes that we exist to preserve _you_. You are the one with the ideals we strive for."

We both heard the van approaching the driveway. It was a relief to us both to hear it, our family, still together, still surviving. It would be worth it. I could not make myself give them up. I could hear voices already, mainly Emmett's boisterous bass.

"We're ba-ack!"

"Emmett, I promise you, if I ever have to hear you sing 'Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves' again I will destroy every game cartridge you own," snarled Alice. "And no more 'Afternoon Delight,' either."

"What about that 'Convoy' song?" asked Eleazar. "That was the worst thing I'd ever heard."

I could hear the tinkling sounds of Bella and Renesmee's laughter as the van stopped before the house. Edward and I went out the front door to greet them.

"'Convoy' is all right," Alice said grudgingly. Bella and Renesmee were laughing harder now.

"Welcome to my nightmare," Edward told Alice with a smirk as she stepped out of the van. "He sings those all the time in his head. I swear I do not know what he likes about seventies pop."

"Hey, driver always gets to pick music," insisted Emmett.

I couldn't help but smile. My family, together.

**AN2 (gleena): So, the section from Justine Lark and edward-bella-harry-ginny (with actual verbiage and editing from ebhg) is the section regarding artificial insemination (AI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF). The three of us had a relatively long debate about whether Edward would truly be a hot commodity for Aro. In the end, we decided the answer is "yes." Unfortunately, Carlisle doesn't know why AI and IVF are not being used by the Volturi, so he wasn't able to tell you. Yet. I'll let ebhg tell you how she came up with her part of this story.**

**AN3 (ebhg): I was bitten by another of those infamous rabid plot bunnies a while back; I basically wrote out a 'Why does Aro want Edward?" scene. It was less than 800 words, and very basic. When Justine pointed me in the direction of the Cold War, I laughed because it was the same basic idea: Edward as a potential breeder. I certainly could not do the story justice in the way that Gleena has, with her intricate plot and its many twists and turns. So, I offered to help where I could, and parts of that rough plot bunny got to see the light of day here:)**


	19. Bloody Mess

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: This chapter backs up to Saturday morning (Ch. 18 ends on Wednesday night). Warning: this chapter parallels parts of Chs. 16-18, but with Tanya and Josh there was not a lot of plot development as there was with the Cullens. I don't know how to thank edward-bella-harry-ginny enough for her fantastic beta-ing, but thanks anyway!!! If you haven't read her Heart and Soul, now's a great time because it's all done except for the epilogue.**

**By the way, I'd like to point out that Ch. 9 was re-edited this week for clarity and reviewed by Justine Lark. I also have fixed a continuity issue in Ch. 15.**

Ch. 19. Bloody Mess

I had only settled at my spot in the back of Bella Libri for about 5 minutes when the employee door near me opened and Edward came in. He was accompanied by two people I didn't recognize and Tanya. I was shocked, to say the least. I stood immediately, taking in her unbelievable beauty once more.

She was like a supermodel pretending to be a librarian. She wore a suit which could have been conservative, except for the tight, short navy skirt and the satin blouse which dropped deeply into her cleavage. Her blonde hair was very smooth and was pulled back into a twisty thing which was much sexier than a librarian bun. It swept up the back of her head; elegant and old-fashioned and damn sexy all at once. I was babbling in my head. I decided to speak out loud to distract myself.

"Tanya, I didn't expect to see you here," I stuttered out. Way to be cool and charming, Clemson.

"I told you last night that I was in town to help out Bella and Edward so they could take a short vacation this week," Tanya answered smoothly, a slight smile making her statement gentle.

"I suppose I was distracted when you told me," I admitted. The memory of exactly what I had been thinking as she spoke to me last night while we were _in a hot tub_ made me warm.

Oh, Lord, I was blushing. I'm sure tomato red was the look that all the suave and sophisticated women like Tanya were going for. She was also beautiful, smart, and witty, and a successful, published author notwithstanding. Way out of my league. The thought suddenly made me sad.

"I should introduce you to my friends Eleazar and his wife Carmen. She's going to help out here as well," said Tanya, interrupting my thoughts.

"Doesn't Nessie run the shop when Bella is out?" I asked without thinking.

"Yes, but I think she is leaving as well. I believe this is her spring break," she answered. She called for her two friends; they turned toward us, walking gracefully in our direction. I wondered amusedly if with names like Carmen and Eleazar, if they were salsa dancers. They were both Mediterranean in appearance and possessed the same graceful manner as Edward or Bella. Or Tanya, for that matter. I suddenly had the impression that I had fallen into a primetime soap opera, the type that was packed with young, strikingly beautiful actors and actresses.

"Josh, these are my friends Carmen and Eleazar." Tanya announced, waving between us. "This is Josh; he's staying at the Den with me."

Eleazar shook my hand. "Very nice to meet you, Josh. Will you be here all week while these ladies run the shop?"

"If it's permitted," I answered. "My spring break is next week, and I'd like to get as much done on the analysis of this text as I can. I haven't spoken to Bella about that yet." I hadn't thought about the fact she would be gone. I wondered if it would be an imposition to have me working here while Tanya and Carmen ran the shop. They were probably going to have their hands full with all the new routines that went with managing a book shop.

Edward took Carmen and Tanya back to the employee break room, and I returned to my translation and analysis. The manuscript was truly fascinating. I had read fragments, of course, from the damaged copy in Milan, but it was almost as if the damage had been planned. The remaining undamaged pieces provided little clue as to the contents of the bulk of the manuscript.

My initial impressions in Milan were nothing like what I was seeing in the complete copy here in Wolfeboro The Traveler, as he referred to himself throughout the aged manuscript, had visited an ancient noble family in Italy. While he was treated as an honored guest, he engaged in several debates over responsibility, compassion, and power.

The manuscript was almost a point-by-point refutation of Machiavelli. The part that I did not understand – I assumed it was an allegory – was the discussion about diet and blood.

I stood and stretched a moment, then wandered to the religious section of the bookstore. I picked up a tattered King James Bible and then went back to my desk. There were, if I remembered correctly, a lot of Levitical statements regarding using blood for sacrifice and plenty of other statements regarding dietary laws. I didn't think blood offerings had very many commonalities with food preparation and consumption, other than perhaps draining the animals of blood.

I thumbed lazily through Leviticus, and a passage in Ch. 7 popped out at me:

"Moreover ye shall eat no manner of blood, whether it be of fowl or of beast, in any of your dwellings. Whatsoever soul it be that eateth any manner of blood, even that soul shall be cut off from his people."

Of course, there was also the sacrament of the mass, wherein Christians drank, either literally or figuratively, the blood of Christ. Was this manuscript an early argument about sacrificing animals, in the Hebrew tradition, versus drinking the blood of Christ?

Perhaps The Traveler was Jewish, or a defender of the traditionally scorned European Jews? But wouldn't he then prefer the Levitical teachings _against_ partaking of the blood of animals?

I assumed Christians would take Peter's revelation in Acts to mean that all the dietary laws of the Old Testament were null and void. So then, according to The Traveler, Christians would drink the blood of animals _and_ of Christ?

Argh! My mind was spinning in pointless circles. What a bloody mess, I thought with a sort of annoyed sarcasm. I tapped my pen on the desk for a moment, while re-reading Jesus' words to his disciples regarding his blood and his body. The phrasings were nothing like the phrasings in _Il viaggiatore_, and I cringed at the likelihood that I would have to pull out Greek and Latin Bible texts which the Traveler may have known.

My Greek and Latin were both pitiful, actually worse than my Italian. At least people still _spoke_ Italian, and it was written in the same alphabet that I normally used. In my anxiety, I started to chew the pen and lost myself in wondering what Dr. Howeson was going to do when I reported back in a week that I had no earthly idea what the manuscript was about.

I had a vision of myself pounding my head on the desk, but I realized that it wouldn't be completely mature. Especially considering I was in a public place where Tanya was in close proximity. I forced myself to refocus and went back to my analysis, continuing to chew on the end of my pen.

"Josh, I'd like you to meet Carson Platt, owner of Hunter's Crossing," Edward said, startling me out of my reverie on Jewish ghettoes of Europe. I dropped my chewed-up pen, and stood to meet Carson, yet another young, exceptionally beautiful person. He was the owner? He looked younger than I was.

"Nice to meet you; I'm Joshua Clemson." I looked Carson directly in his golden eyes while shaking his hand. His grip was as firm as Edward's, although he wasn't quite as forceful with it. His face was sincere and open, and I hoped that I would make a good impression on him.

"I thought I'd introduce you since Carson was instrumental in helping us obtain _Il viaggiatore_," said Edward. I definitely owed Carson my gratitude if he had made my future with a Ph.D. possible.

"Would you care to have some coffee with me, Josh?" asked Carson. "Tanya, you're welcome to join us." I was shocked to discover Tanya had somehow materialized silently beside me.

Tanya and I both agreed though Edward declined in order to remain in the shop with Bella. I motioned for Tanya to follow immediately behind Carson. Ladies first, right? We exited the front door of Bella Libri and wandered up to the Starbuck's above us, my home away from my temporary home at The Den. It occurred to me for a moment that I was more comfortable with the mysterious people I had met here in Wolfeboro than I had been with anyone outside my parents or Kimani and Adrienne.

"Let me treat you, shall I?" offered Carson as we entered the Starbuck's. There were only a few groups of people scattered about the coffeehouse, settled in groupings of oversized armchairs and couches. A few loners had laptops and headphones at the hard tables along the windows.

"Certainly, Carson. I'll have a latte," said Tanya with an enigmatic smile. The familiarity behind the smile bothered me, and I wondered what sort of relationship the two had.

"I'll take a venti coffee of the day, black," I requested. I should be buying Carson a coffee; that was small thanks for whatever help he may have been in contributing to my Ph.D.

"Come, Josh, let us find a spot to sit." Tanya grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a free couch and chair.

"So, how long have you known Carson," I asked as though trying to make pleasant conversation. Tanya's return look suggested that I hadn't fooled her. She sat down elegantly into the chair, and I took the couch end nearest her.

"Carson and his wife Esme have been friends of mine for a long time," she answered. She was smiling, but her tone was placating. Her gentle affirmation of the platonic relationship between herself and Carson was embarrassing. "They used to live near me in Alaska."

I nodded. She had mentioned where she was from that Friday night after the hot tub when we were trying to "get to know" each other. Alaska was about as far away as you could get from Boston and still be in the US, unless you went to Hawaii. I had about a week to find out what Tanya was all about.

Carson walked over and pulled up a ladder-back chair from one of the nearby tables, handed me my coffee and sat across from me. "Our orders will take longer," he said to Tanya.

"Joshua, how is your translation and analysis proceeding?" Carson queried with interest.

"The translation is slow, but steady," I replied. "Analysis is something else. The bulk of what I've done has three themes. The first two are obvious, an argument over the divine right of kings and an anti-Machiavellian discussion about the use of power. The Traveler was lucky that his noble hosts indulged his opinions."

"Why do you say that?" asked Carson.

"It seems pretty clear that the hosts believed in their own power and that it gave them the right to do whatever was necessary to increase or maintain that power," I answered. "The Traveler dissented strongly from that opinion. I think a logical step was for the hosts to silence him. I'm still trying to determine which noble family of Italy were the hosts. The manuscript may be a general statement, but the hosts have such specific characteristics and personalities that I think this was a discourse on a specific noble family by someone with very close ties."

"You said there was a third theme that you didn't understand," said Tanya. Carson excused himself, and retrieved the lattes he had ordered for himself and Tanya. I waited until he returned before revealing my "bloody mess."

"Yeah; okay, the third element is fairly obscure in meaning. I think my advisor must have gotten wind of it from an old reference which she hasn't shared with me. There were concerns at one time that this manuscript referred to the soulless undead."

"I beg your pardon," said Carson in surprise.

"Vampires," I said apologetically. "My advisor wrote a treatise on Bram Stoker's _Dracula_, and I think she came across reference to this manuscript while conducting that research. I'm not sure I agree with the vampire theory." To say the very least, it was a ridiculous idea. "The bulk of the manuscript concentrates on the issues of power and morality. The crux of the third discussion or theme is the efficacy of the blood of the beast compared to the blood of man. I think it could be an allegory of the power of Christ's sacrifice vs. the sacrifice of animals. I just can't make the details align with other texts. No matter how I look at it, the discussion is illogical."

Tanya and Carson shared a look which I couldn't interpret.

"I know it sounds ridiculous," I continued, putting up my hands to stem any comments. "I spent a long time in Milan examining the damaged copy they have, and I had developed a feel for the text. When my advisor mentioned vampires a few weeks ago, I was shocked. I can't believe a fifteenth century manuscript would have something so ludicrous in it."

"Is that how old the manuscript is?" asked Carson.

"That's been the standard assumption. I'm not really an expert, but the general thought is that the Italian phrasings put it in that time period. I don't think there's been an in-depth analysis."

Carson glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry Tanya, Josh; I have some business to attend to. I must take my leave of the both of you." He stood to go. "I enjoyed our discussion, Josh. Perhaps we can continue it later."

I stood and shook his hand. "Thank you for the coffee and whatever strings you pulled for me to be able to see the full manuscript. I'd been searching for it for about six months."

After Carson had left us, I sat back down. My coffee was nearly gone. "I suppose we should go back to work ourselves," I said to Tanya. She was staring into space. "Tanya?"

"I'm sorry; I was just pondering some of the stranger aspects of your thesis work."

"I was a little peeved, actually, when I realized my boss had picked this manuscript because it might be about vampires. I don't want the start of my academic career to pigeonhole me into the study of bizarre phenomena within literature." I paused.

This was as good a time as any. Suck it up, Clemson. "Tanya, Bella doesn't usually go to the shop at all on Sundays, so I hoped that you and I might be free to spend part of the day together tomorrow."

"That sounds lovely, Josh. Bella told me I was free tomorrow. What do you have planned?"

"Nothing, yet; I didn't want to get my hopes too high." I was smiling like an idiot, but I really didn't care. "I'll figure something out before the evening."

* * *

Josh had asked me on a date. A date! I didn't go on dates. I pondered that thought for a moment. My relationships with men weren't really relationships. Human men were fun and warm, but dating them was difficult to carry out. The three of us succubae were able to essentially hypnotize men during sex such that the enjoyment of the moment was their primary thought. Recognizing the coldness or hardness of our bodies was not on their minds. We had never been recognized as something other than human, but none of us had ever spent extended daylight hours with the men we seduced. I needed to talk to Kate. I needed to talk to Alice. Josh was going to be busy until noon when the shop closed, so I had a couple of hours to talk to someone before I needed to drive him to The Den.

I let Bella know I was going next door for a bit. The training was something of an act; it had taken all of 20 minutes for Carmen and me to assimilate the basics of running the shop. It wasn't like we could forget any of the instructions. I passed Josh on my way out the back door. He looked up at me with an absent smile, and I waved but didn't speak.

Next door, Alice was arranging a rack of clothes.

"Hi, Alice." I looked around. I hadn't been in JeCree before. The displays were a riot of color and style, combinations of vintage, modern, classic, and haute couture daring. If I were to imagine a playground created by Alice, this boutique would have been it.

"Tanya! I was just thinking about you. I have a new shipment, and there is a perfect outfit for you." She looked me up and down. "That's an interesting ensemble."

"I thought if I was working in a bookstore, I should look, I don't know, bookish?"

"You look like the naughty secretary to me," she said with a giggle. "I imagine Josh liked it."

"He seemed suitably impressed," I admitted. I was used to making men gape as he had last night at my bikini. This morning's stammer had been priceless. Luckily I had nine and three quarter centuries on him; my composure was not as easily ruffled. So why was I so apprehensive about talking to Alice?

"Did you hear Eleazar's discussion this morning?" I began.

"Yes. I don't care what Edward says, I think this complicates everything."

"Tell me, Alice," I whispered. "Do you see him as one of us?"

She grimaced. "I have a hard time seeing humans, especially ones I barely know. I don't really see anything of him." She didn't look at me.

I looked at her, trying to ascertain why she was avoiding eye contact. "You see something about him, though."

"Not exactly. I see you, but you're not with him. I don't see you together, at least not after this week." She was sorry, I could tell. I wasn't sure what I was. I had a funny feeling in my stomach and in the palms of my hands. I scrubbed my hands together to erase the tingling sensation.

"Your visions aren't always right," I argued. "Something could happen."

"Something could happen," she agreed. When she looked at me, there was a sadness in her face which was atypical of Alice. "I wanted it for you, Tanya. I see how dissatisfied you are."

"You've been talking to Kate." My voice was higher than normal. I didn't know what I had been expecting. I was going to play with Josh for the week, enjoy our time together, and carry out a duty for Carlisle and Edward. I had not had higher expectations, but now that I knew there was little chance for anything past this week, I was hurt.

"No, I can see it," she replied. "I've known you a long time, and I've seen how the conflict with the Volturi has changed you."

"Nothing is the same," I agreed.

"Oh. Tanya? Tomorrow is going to be mostly sunny on Lake Winnipesaukee, so you should pick the other choice," Alice said as I headed out of the boutique.

I determined that no one would be able to see that I was crushed by Alice's vision. I hadn't even known Josh for a full 24 hours. I would enjoy this week to its fullest, and Josh would become the latest conquest (while I prevented his untimely death). I stepped into the back hallway connecting the stores and saw Edward leaning against the wall by the door to Bella Libri. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were fixed upon me.

_Don't say a word, Edward._

"I'm sorry, Tanya."

_I think I told you not to say anything._

I walked past him and into the store. It was nearly noon, and I let Josh know we would leave soon. I went to the front counter where Bella had already finished cleaning up. "I think I'm ready for Monday," I said.

"Thanks, Tanya. We're grateful."

As Josh and I walked out to my car, he cleared his throat. "I found two activities that I thought we might enjoy together tomorrow, and I wanted to know which you would prefer," he said.

"Any indoor activities?" I asked with a sultry look.

He laughed. "Actually, I was thinking of either kayaking on the Lake with a hike around the surrounding forest or a trip down to one of the tourist towns. I like Greenville and the New England Antique Mall. It's really quaint."

"You would like visiting an antique mall?" I asked with surprise as we climbed into the car. Antiquing wasn't a typical manly activity.

"My father was an antique freak," he said, a little sadly. "I enjoy old books, the smell of antique wood, and art. I don't really have much, now, and I thought it might be nice to buy at least one piece I would enjoy. It would be nice to spend a day immersed in beauty." He looked into my eyes, his focus dancing back and forth as if trying to read my soul.

Alice's warning had left me little choice in the matter. "I would love to go with you to this antique mall."

"Great. Okay, it takes a couple of hours to get there. Would you like to leave with me right after breakfast, about eight?"

"That would be nice." I smiled. It wasn't a particular look, or an attempt to seduce. I was just happy that we would spend a day together. I hoped we didn't need a chaperone for backup. I was also relieved that tonight was a hunting trip with Edward and Bella; I doubted my self-control would be an issue, but several hours in a car with Josh would be uncomfortable without some relief.

oooooooooo

My Sunday outing with Josh was, in fact, beautiful. If I were a human woman, I would have been swept off my feet. I had insisted on borrowing Carlisle's car with the dark-tinted windows and doing the driving. Josh's car was older and, in his opinion, just a bit unreliable.

The two-hour drive down to Greenville was mostly along a meandering highway that passed through picturesque New England towns. The antique mall was quaint, as was the tiny restaurant we lunched in. The meal was beautiful, a five-course affair with an emphasis on exotic greens and edible flowers. Some of it actually smelled good, if not palatable.

Of course, I didn't eat much, but Josh was so engrossed in our discussions that I don't think he noticed anything of the food or the antiques or the drive. We talked about everything and anything. He was a good conversationalist, with strong opinions but with a respectful interest in what I had to say.

He was funny, and didn't mind poking fun at himself. We barely touched, physically, on the trip. He had occasionally touched my shoulder to point out something hideous or ridiculously overpriced. His comments on the "collectibles" were outrageous. He was making an effort to really get to know me. I was letting him see anything about me that didn't reveal my two darkest secrets. I was a vampire, and that, to the best of my knowledge, I wouldn't see him again after the end of this week.

When we pulled up at The Den at the end of the afternoon, the sky had become overcast. I wasn't surprised; Alice would probably have warned me if there was going to be a problem. Josh opened his door, and groaned as he climbed out of his seat.

"What's wrong?" I said in concern.

"Oh, just delayed muscle soreness. I went for a run yesterday morning with Leah, and I think I pushed a little too hard."

"So, do you think the hot tub may be medically necessary?" I asked innocently.

Josh laughed. He looked younger when he laughed and smiled. "Maybe after dinner? I think I need to eat and maybe take a nap. I am beat."

"How about if I meet you here around 9 p.m., then? I have a few story ideas I want to type up while they're fresh in my mind." That wasn't strictly true; it wasn't like I could forget an idea. Though, I did want to type while I had a few moments.

"Oh. I thought you might like to have dinner out with me?" Josh looked somewhat stressed.

"I'm sorry; I was going to meet up with Alice. I suppose I could cancel?"

"No, no. It's probably better to have some time apart," he said with a look that said he didn't mean a word of it.

"It's only five hours, Josh," I said teasingly, but I was aware that every hour that passed meant I was closer to the end of our non-relationship. Alice was sure that Josh and I would remain apart after the week. Nothing had changed. I had so little time.

In the end, he agreed with grace that we would meet again at nine for his "medical treatment" in the hot tub. I didn't let him know that the pack had plans to take him out anyway. He hadn't been truly alone in days as we passed him back and forth for our secretive body-guarding.

I was typing faster than my computer could process the letters, putting the finishing touches on a story line which had come to me during our fragrant, flowery lunch. It was always difficult for me to write eating scenes between humans, but I had been inspired by my time with Josh. It was nearly nine, and I heard Josh's footsteps outside my door. There was a moment of hesitation, and then he knocked.

"Tanya? It's nearly nine. I'm heading out to the common room."

I went to the door and opened it. I was already dressed and ready. "Hi."

"Hi, to you, too," he answered, grinning like a fool. He had it bad, and it was starting to worry me. If he liked me anywhere near as much as I liked him, I wasn't going to be the only one hurting at the end of this week. I wasn't going to think about it until later.

"I'm ready," I said. "Let me grab a towel."

A few moments later, we were strolling down the hallway toward the common area of the lodge. There was a fire burning in the enormous fireplace, and I could see through the sliding glass windows that Jake was out on the back deck. Josh opened the door and motioned me to go through first.

"Tanya," said Jake by way of greeting. "How was your day?"

"It went well," I said, unable to keep the smile off my face. Heck, I wasn't even trying to stop the smile. It felt nice. Jake patted me on the shoulder, and then he went back into the lodge.

"I'm glad to hear it went well," Josh murmured near my neck. His breath was very warm, and I felt a shiver go down my back. I wasn't usually the one being seduced.

Josh helped me step into the tub, then began to climb in himself.

"Ow, ah, that smarts," he exclaimed, with a rueful smile. "Ah, my quadriceps are not going to feel right for a few days, I'm afraid." He settled into the water with a groan.

"How was dinner?"

"Oh, it was great. Jake is a hoot," he answered with a choked laugh, remembering something amusing from dinner. "It's funny, I can't figure out why Vanessa hasn't succumbed to diabetes. She eats like a pound of sugar a day; this evening she had two desserts for dinner. I don't know how she keeps her figure."

There was a long silence as we both relaxed into the water.

"I guess I can tell how you keep your figure," he said out of the blue. "You barely eat anything."

I froze, then cautiously turned to look at him. He was leaning back against the side of the hot tub, eyes closed. He looked completely relaxed. He opened the eye nearest me, and turned his head slightly. "I apologize if I offended you. I just noticed you don't eat much."

"No, I'm not offended," I said lightly.

He held out a hand toward me. "May I hold you?" he asked.

I moved closer. I was quite warm now and unconcerned that he would notice anything amiss. He pulled me gently into the circle of his arm, and turned his head. He was inhaling my scent, something I was used to. Human men invariably found my scent attractive.

"I don't know how to describe how I feel about you," he said softly, brushing his cheek against the side of my head. "You are smart, sophisticated, and successful."

"Nice alliteration," I commented.

"I left out sexy," he said, pulling me a little closer. His voice had dropped a little in pitch. "I think I know you a lot better now than I did two days ago."

"Josh, you don't have to rush anything for me," I said, but inside I was praying he was ready. We didn't have enough time to go slowly.

"I don't plan to hurry," he said, and then he began a slow, torturous kiss that I felt all the way down to my toes. The night was blessedly long.

* * *

Working Monday on my translation at Bella Libri was unbelievably difficult. I didn't even bother to analyze or think about anything except individual words and phrases.

I was doing a horrible job, but at least some of the work would be done. I couldn't concentrate, and that was highly unusual. There was a beautiful woman not 20 yards away from me, working at the front counter of the shop, and she was all I wanted to think about. I was worried that even a minute of our time together last night would fade from my memory. I wanted to have the entire experience seared into my mind forever. She was so beautiful in every way that it almost hurt to think about her and the fact that she lived in Alaska.

I realized I had written "Tanya Irinovna Dezhnev" three times in a row in the middle of translating a paragraph. Thank goodness there were customers and Carmen to buffer us. I had gotten up to stretch twice, and both times we had stared and grinned at each other like two twelve-year-old kids asking to "go together." It would have been disgusting if it hadn't been so wonderful. It had been forever since I had been so happy. I wondered if it was good or bad that I had promised Jake that I would go to dinner and bowling with Seth, Nessie, and him after work. At least we would have lunch together.

Tuesday morning dawned cold and clear, and I decided I had put off my next run long enough. Bowling hadn't aggravated my muscles nearly as much as I had thought it would. I put on my running outfit and wandered out to the back deck. I was stretching and wondering if there was any way I could find Leah's path through the woods when I heard someone come up behind me.

"I wondered if you were thinking of a run," said Leah. "At least you're better at that than I heard you were at bowling."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. It had been a little humiliating, but I had expected that. "It's hard to compete against the Flying Wallendas."

"Who?"

"Sorry. They were circus performers from the 20th century. They did high wire acts." I had thought of the Den crew as circus performers given their amazing agility and reflexes.

"Huh. Okay, think you can do another 10 miles?" Leah had a slight smile. I don't think she expected me to take her up on it, but I felt really good. Really, really good.

"I'm ready," I said, taking her challenge.

"Uh huh. I heard you were ready about two in the morning."

I blushed and looked down, but couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I thought Tanya and I had been very quiet. I just hadn't been able to go to bed without checking to see if she was all right. She hadn't been asleep yet, either, and she had been quite all right. We were both consenting adults. What was I embarrassed about?

"Fine," said Leah. "I'll see if you're still smiling at the end of the workout. Let's go."

Our run was exhilarating but uneventful; I didn't see any wildlife bigger than a squirrel. Breakfast was the same circus as always. And the day went the same as Monday: I couldn't think of anything except the leggy, beautiful, witty, smart, sophisticated, sexy blonde working at the counter. At one point I gave up trying to concentrate and listened to her discussion with a customer about Dostoevsky. She was so amazing. I had never asked her if she gone to college or what she had studied. I had just accepted that she was well-read and witty. There was so much left to talk about and it was already Tuesday. She had a plane flight back on Saturday. So why was I completely unable to use our time together to talk to her?

Time seemed to speed beyond my control, and I couldn't get enough of Tanya, either her mind or her other attributes.

Something was different on Wednesday, though. I was able to concentrate in short spurts, accomplishing more in those few moments than I had in the previous 48 hours. When I lost my focus again, I noticed that Carmen and Tanya where having another whispered conversation. They seemed tense. I stood and stretched, trying to make enough noise that they knew I was alert again. I had worried that Carmen objected to Tanya's time with me, and I didn't want to eavesdrop on a private discussion. They seemed fine when I came out to the counter, however.

"Hello, Josh, you've been very quiet this morning," said Carmen pleasantly. She had a faint hint of a Spanish accent which I found gave her voice a musical quality. She didn't appear to dislike me.

"I've actually gotten some good work in this morning," I admitted. I had told Tanya jokingly the night before that she wasn't good for my future. She hadn't found the joke as funny as I thought she would, and I'd had to work hard to make it up to her. The thought made me smile.

"Carmen says Jake and Nessie have invited her over for a get-together tonight," said Tanya. "We're all going to play games or something."

"Oh, sounds nice," I said with fake enthusiasm. I would have enjoyed a get-together at The Den any other night, any other week. I had three nights remaining, and I didn't want to waste any of the moments I had left with Tanya. "Who else is coming?"

"Rosalie, Garrett, and I will be there, and maybe Carson and Esme later," said Carmen.

"Not Eleazar?" I asked. I was surprised Carmen would come without her husband.

"No, he has a business thing tonight," she answered, and her tone of voice made me think this was the source of her tension.

"I'm getting a coffee," I said, pointing at the ceiling. "Would either of you ladies like something?"

"We're good," said Tanya laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked, smiling. Her laughter was always a treat; you didn't usually think of someone so beautiful and smart as being giggly as well.

"I've just never seen anyone point to heaven when talking about getting coffee," she said. I left shaking my head.

That night, I sat on the couch that Tanya and I had shared the first night we had met, absorbing the unmitigated chaos around me. The group was watching Jake play Garrett in an incomprehensible video game which required them to alternately punch with a set of wireless leather gloves or dance on a touchpad. Seth was rooting for Jake, but everyone else seemed to be on Garrett's side. I had never been a big fan of video games, but this one was sufficiently physical that I thought I could enjoy it, if I could ever figure out what the point was.

"Would you like a drink?" asked Tanya. She had just arrived after freshening up in her room.

"That will work for me," I said, standing. "I'll get myself a beer. Want one?" She shook her head, as I suspected. I hoped the night wouldn't end with a headache; my ears were ringing from all the noise.

I wandered through the glass doors to the outdoor bar. A cooler on the ground was full of ice studded with beer bottles. I picked out a Blue Moon and turned around to see Tanya in the doorway.

"It's quieter out here," she said.

"Wouldn't it be rude to stay away from your friends?" I asked. If I thought it was confusing to contemplate the relationships at The Den, it became infinitely more confusing when I added Tanya's friends and the crew from Hunter's Crossing. Nessie was the only obvious connection between the two groups. I had given up trying to understand, and just accepted that they all knew each other.

"They don't even know we're missing," she said. She was right. Everyone inside was absorbed in the game and Jake's antics. I wasn't sure who was winning, but there was a lot of energy involved.

"Do you have any idea what the object of that game is?"

"I haven't got a clue," she replied with a snicker.

I moved closer and traced my fingers over the pattern of the fabric on her shoulder. "I told myself I wouldn't do anything with you tonight except talk. I realized there is still a lot I don't know about you."

"What do you want to know?" she breathed, looking in my eyes. It was too much. I leaned down and kissed her, but only once.

"I was wondering where you went to school and what your favorite classes were and whether you liked blondes or brunettes better," I said, leaning close enough to smell her. "That's just a start."

Before she could answer, Tanya's phone rang. Apparently she had it in her pocket. I raised my eyebrows.

"Sorry. I had it in case Bella or Edward needed to contact me about the shop," she apologized. She answered the phone, and I saw her body tense and go still. It was bad news. She made a few one word comments, then hung up.

"Carson says there was a terrorist attack. We should turn on CNN."

"I don't think that's going to go over well with them," I said, motioning at the mob scene around the flat screen TV.

"They'll understand," she said shortly.

We walked in, and Tanya got everyone's attention. The group was instantly subdued, watching the talking heads on TV giving out dribbles of information about a plane which had disappeared. Initial satellite imaging suggested an explosion. The plane had taken off from Logan International. I imagined there were some people in the Transportation and Safety Administration and Homeland Security who were going to lose their jobs over that; Logan was one of the most watched airports in the country aside from Dulles and Reagan National.

After about a half hour, the story began recycling; there was no new information yet.

Tanya was still very tense, and I wanted to take her back to my room to talk.

I leaned over and asked her if she would like to talk in my room. The room was quiet enough that I knew everyone could hear, but I didn't care. She looked very upset. She nodded, and I led her back down the hallway.

Once we were in my room, I started to try to soothe her. "Can you tell me what's going on, other than the obvious?"

"This plane crash, it's hit me harder than I imagined," she said, biting her lip. She was looking at the floor.

"Is it something you can talk about?" I asked.

"I should tell you. I need to tell you," she answered in a low voice, still looking down. I reached over to lift her chin.

"I want to help," I said, starting to feel a little desperate. She looked up at me then, hearing the worry in my tone.

"I think it's the suddenness of it, the way everyone on the plane just ended. It made think of this, what we're doing. I enjoy you so much, Josh, but we know it's about to end. I leave on Saturday, and we'll probably never see each other again. You have a life you need to live, things you have planned. There is so much in front of you; I don't want to interfere with that."

"You're not interfering with anything," I said. Now I was desperate, bordering on hysterical. I did not expect this. "There are such things as phones and email and planes. I don't have to teach over the summer, and I can write my thesis from anywhere. I could work on it in Alaska." This idea had been percolating in my head for two days now.

She laughed bitterly. "That's not the main point, the distance. You don't fit in my life for so many reasons. I wouldn't be good for you. I was just reminded of all the reasons why when that plane blew up."

"Can't you tell me?" I knew I was getting weird, and tears were starting to pool in my eyes.

"No, I can't tell you," she said, and I realized she was desperate, too.

"Why not?"

"I told you, I'm not good for you. Telling you why would make things so much worse. I can't even describe how bad it would become."

"I can't believe this," I said angrily. I scrubbed the tears out of my eyes. "I really thought this was it. I think I'm falling in love with you, Tanya. I don't know what this is all about, but I don't think I care. Please, just say we can stay together, even if we have to be apart for a while."

"I can't tell you that," she said, and then she fled from my room.

I stood staring at the half-open door for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. I was in shock, and all I could think was that I had to get away. The game had apparently started up again in the common room, because the whole building pulsed with the noise and raucous laughter drifted down the hallway. I didn't bother to pack, grabbing only my phone, wallet, and keys. I slipped out of the lodge and drove away just as a monster truck of another guest pulled noisily into the parking area.

It was over an hour later when I entered my apartment. The car trip down to Boston was too short to process what had occurred between Tanya and me. She had made me happier than I could remember being since I was nine years old, before I knew my mother was sick. I hadn't always been unhappy, but it was unusual for me to feel outright joy. I didn't realize until tonight that she felt, even more than I, that our time together was limited. We had very different responses to that limitation. I wanted to work through it and make something happen. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me, the companion I wanted for the rest of my life. She apparently didn't agree, and the rejection was enough to make me physically ill.

I shut and locked the apartment door and threw my keys on the kitchen counter. I wandered back to my bedroom, wondering what I was going to do now that I was here. I might be away from Tanya and the source of this intense pain in my stomach, but there wasn't any comfort here. When I was lowering myself to the bed, I had a sudden chill. The apartment sounded wrong, not as quiet as it should be if I were alone. I felt the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck standing up. I straightened up, and looked around the room. What was I thinking? I owned essentially nothing of value, not anymore. I was not of value to anyone left alive, of that I was now completely certain.

I started to walk out to the living area to continue my check on the apartment, when Randall appeared in the doorway to my room. I jerked involuntarily.

"Where did you come from?" I demanded in annoyed surprise.

**AN2: Oops. I couldn't keep out the plot after all.**


	20. Confrontation

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: First things first: Much thanks to edward-bella-harry-ginny (ebhg) for beta-ing this chapter no less than four times. She catches and fixes my verbal miscues. She also turns an excellent phrase, clarifying meaning when she changes a mere word. THANKS!**

**Second: Thanks also to Justine Lark for applying her impeccable logic to the flow of the chapter and to the characters' motivations.**

**Third: Everyone, be careful what you write. My mom accidentally found this on ff dot net on her own (hi, mom) and figured out it was me. Busted!**

_I started to walk out to the living area to continue my check on the apartment, when Randall appeared in the doorway to my room. I jerked involuntarily._

"_Where did you come from?" I demanded in annoyed surprise._

Ch. 20. Confrontation

I sat on the edge of my bed, door locked, frozen as a marble statue. My words to him kept echoing through my head: "I'm not good for you." What had made me leave him? I had to sift through all my memories of this week. The memories which kept returning to me were of him. He had such an infectious smile, with crinkles around his deep blue eyes. Those eyes were one reason to leave him. He couldn't stay with me and keep those blue eyes. Every time he touched me, I felt the warmth of his hands or his chest. He couldn't keep the warmth if he stayed with me. He shared his love of books and reading and analyzing literature, and he had talked of how he wanted to teach and to write and to travel for study. His Ph.D. would be another casualty of staying with me.

He wouldn't want to stay with me after this anyway. My perfect memory recalled the hurt in his eyes when I told him I wasn't good for him. I could remember the exact way his voice broke when he told me he was falling in love with me and brushed tears off his face. It was heartbreaking to see the pain on his face.

I knew that wasn't the real reason I felt broken; it wasn't why I had a gaping, empty feeling where my stomach should have been. I felt broken because I wanted to be with him. I wanted to be with him almost as much as I wanted to know that he continued to be, to live, to continue.

I remembered the words he had said to Carlisle about the manuscript: "the soulless undead. Vampires." I had hidden my true nature while mesmerizing him into believing I was someone he could love. Who was I kidding? To paraphrase a favorite saying of Emmett's, if you looked in the dictionary under "succubus," you'd see a picture of me. I laughed abruptly, the first time I had moved in over 30 minutes. Never mind all the men I had seduced. What about all the ones whose lives I had taken in thirst?

For him to stay with me, he would have to give up everything he had left of himself, namely, his life. I could offer him no guarantees of "happily ever after." My long existence was littered with short tempestuous affairs and even shorter seductions. And corpses. There were no relationships with anyone but my sisters and mother, later our coven, and finally with the Cullens.

Josh did not deserve to lose his life and to settle for whatever I was capable of giving him.

My shoulders had started shaking, and my eyes were dry and burning. It took me a few moments to realize that I was crying. I didn't cry. So why couldn't I stop shaking?

I had finally quieted down. I didn't think anyone had heard what was going on given the amazing blast of noise coming from the common room, but then someone rapped on my door.

"Tanya. It's Rosalie. Let me in."

I got up and opened the door.

"Oh, Tanya. You look seriously like crap." Coming from Rose, this was deep sympathy. It didn't help my feelings that she looked like she had just come from the runway in Paris.

"He told me he was falling in love with me," I said, mouth open and running before brain engaged. I knew Rose would understand. Her legendary hatred of this existence would make her sympathetic to my dilemma.

"You told him it was all wrong," she said. It wasn't a question.

"It _is_ all wrong. I'm not good for him."

"I know what you think I'm going to say, Tanya," said Rose. "And you would have been right a few years ago. I'm not saying that cutting this off early isn't a good choice, but I'm ready to admit that it isn't the only choice."

"I don't understand."

"We've been under agonizing pressure for eight years, Tanya," she said, turning her back to me. Rosalie absently picked up a silver clock from the night stand and turned it in her fingers. "Before that, we all lived through a day we were sure that none of us would survive." She set down the clock and turned back to me, her beautiful face distorted with emotion. I wasn't sure if she was thinking of me, of her family, or of Emmett. "Those experiences tend to strip away all the garbage, and after the garbage is gone, nothing is left except the people you love. That's the only thing which makes existence worthwhile."

I just looked at her in amazement.

"I'm trying to tell you that if you and Josh can have that together, it's worth it."

I shook my head. "What would you have done, Rose, if you had spent all your vampire existence seducing men, and then one day, after countless years, you met Emmett. We'll say he wasn't being mauled by a bear. Let's say he was working hard to make his life better. Now, would you have tried to engage him in a loving relationship, and then encouraged him to become a vampire?"

"It's not the same," said Rose, with characteristic obstinacy.

"You're right, it isn't the same. You've never taken a life out of thirst. Let's throw that in, times a thousand, on top of the seductions. You and I both know that ripping the life away from someone you think you love is not an option. You gave Edward hell about it for years, and he didn't do it until Bella actually died."

We both sat down on the bed, and Rosalie put an arm around me. "That's what I meant about how all the garbage gets stripped away," she said. "I gave Edward hell because I couldn't let it be about him and about Bella. I made it about me and about our family. Bella is actually the best argument in my favor. She didn't hesitate for even one moment about being with Edward forever. She made her choice. Josh should be allowed to do the same."

"Bella knew Edward was a vampire almost from the very beginning, and those two were made for each other," I continued arguing. I had been through every one of these arguments in my head over the last few days. I had them all saved up.

"I'm a succubus who's been around for about a thousand years, no exaggeration. Josh is a 24-year-old romantic looking for his one true love. He is not looking for a succubus with blood on her hands."

"Maybe you've been waiting a thousand years because your one true love didn't come along until now."

"In case you hadn't noticed, Rose, I didn't exactly wait." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"You're ashamed of the men you've had!" she exclaimed. "You can't be that way. Your life is what it is."

"It's not embarrassment. I just know that I'm not right for him. He deserves someone better."

"You're being ridiculous. By the way, do you know where he went? I heard him go out the front door, but I assumed you knew what he was doing."

"What do you mean, 'where he went'?" I demanded, jumping up. I was out of my room and through his door in less than a second, scrutinizing his room. His clothes and suitcase lay where they had been. His toiletries were still strewn in the bathroom. Only his keys and wallet were apparently missing; they had been on the wide dresser across from his bed.

"I didn't hear him go," I said in a panic. I was supposed to prevent this from happening. Where would he go? I was in the parking lot only a second later, Rosalie on my heels. The parking space where Josh's old Jetta had been was now occupied by a pickup truck with massive wheels. My mind reeled with the possibilities.

"Carson, we've got a problem." Rose was speaking on her cell phone. "We think Josh has left in his car." She paused. "It's complicated." Another pause. "You think Jasper can find him that way?" Pause. "Okay. Tanya will wait out front."

"What happened? What is Jasper doing?" I asked as soon as she shut her phone.

"They're all back from Boston at the big house," said Rose. "Jasper is going to set the computer up to track Josh's cell phone GPS unit. A group will be by in the van in a few minutes to pick you up to go retrieve him or at least figure out what the danger is."

I changed my clothes quickly into jeans and a simple button down. I felt like I was dressing for action. I combed my hair back into a ponytail and washed up. Rose pronounced me fit for human consumption, a jibe which earned her a snort. I had more immediate concerns; I wasn't ready to share my evening with Edward's sympathy or his intrusive gift. I hadn't seen him in a few days, so he wasn't necessarily aware of all that had transpired between Josh and me.

"I'll let the others know what's going on before I go to keep Esme company," she said, giving me a quick hug. "You'll find him first."

The big van pulled up only a few seconds after I walked out into the parking lot. I climbed into the van to discover it was much more crowded than it had been on the hunting trip earlier in the week. Emmett was driving with Alice in the front passenger seat. In the next row, Carlisle and Jasper sat together. I got into the second passenger row with Kate and Eleazar. Behind us were Renesmee, Bella, and Edward. Edward would be directly behind me.

I hadn't had any illusions that I could sit quietly during this trip. Someone was going to take me to task for losing the human, and everyone would hear every word. Edward would hear every thought.

As it turned out, "someone" was Eleazar.

"How did it happen?" he asked. He wasn't accusing me, yet.

"I was distracted, and there was a lot of noise from the get-together, you know, the one designed to keep Josh busy? The one populated by beings with superhuman hearing?"

"Distracted?" Eleazar wasn't going to let it go. Vampires were not good at respecting privacy. At that thought, I heard a snort from behind me.

"We may have had an argument of sorts." I thought about salads with edible flowers around the edge and sprigs of herbs sprinkled on top of crumbles of goat cheese. Definitely not thinking about arguments. There were many types of cheese. Asiago, Bleu, Brie, Camembert, Cheddar, Chevre, Colby, Edam, Feta, Fontina, Gorgonzola, Gouda…

"Who started it?"

"We both contributed," I said. "It may have been my fault that we separated." Havarti, Jarlsberg, Limberger, Mascarpone, Monterey Jack, Mozzarella, Muenster, Neufchatel, Parmesan, Pecorino, Provolone, Queso blanco, Ricotta, Romano, Roquefort, Stilton, Swiss…

"Let's just focus on what we need to do now," interrupted Carlisle.

"Yes," agreed Bella, putting her hand on my shoulder. "We can't go back and undo the argument. Or whatever it was."

"Where are we going?" I asked, very pleased to have a new topic and not to have to continue focusing on stinky cheese. A long-suffering sigh behind me emphasized the joys of cheeseless thoughts.

"The GPS showed he was more than halfway to Boston," said Jasper. "We might catch him; we have a few advantages that he doesn't."

"No traffic cops until Boxford on I-95," said Alice confidently. "But I still don't see us catching him."

"Can you see what he is doing?" I asked Alice.

"No, I'm not seeing him at all. I haven't had one flash solely about him. You know I don't do well with humans. It's even worse with humans I don't know well."

"How fast can you make this hulk move, Emmett?" asked Eleazar with interest.

"Rose is a wonder," said Emmett proudly. "I've gotten the van up to 200 km/hr."

"Yes, and it certainly doesn't vibrate badly back here," said Edward, his voice a vibrato from the jiggling of the back end of the van.

"Well, all vans have a back-end vibration," said Emmett defensively.

"I lost our future just now," said Alice grimly as I heard an intake of breath behind me.

There was silence in the van for at least ten minutes. We all recognized the implications of Alice losing our future. We would all be in close proximity with either werewolves or hybrids. I suspected that werewolves were not the most likely choice. If we were following Josh and we would encounter hybrids that meant Josh was truly in danger. The argument took on new meaning for me: I was right. I wasn't good for him, and in more ways than I had originally rationalized to myself. My actions this evening had sent him directly into danger.

All the anxiety and loss I had been feeling before Rosalie had spoken to me came back in full force, amplified by my concern that Josh would be killed before we arrived.

A wave of calm swamped me, evening out my breathing and relaxing muscles I hadn't noticed I had tensed. I looked up to see Jasper turned to look at me.

"There are ten of us. We have the upper hand."

"It's the timing. We're going to be too late," I said. Kate rubbed my arm soothingly. Another wave of calm engulfed me.

"You should have taken your sports car," I told Edward. "You'd have been there by now."

"I thought about it," he admitted, "but we need Bella with all of us. Demetri has known I wasn't on the plane almost since it blew up. I doubt he's back already, but he could communicate how close we are to the others. I can only seat two, and we know that may not be enough based upon how many others are involved. We scented three vampires and two hybrids in Randall's apartment."

"Two-on-one works for me," said Jasper. "I'd prefer three-on-one."

"That might prevent any need to fight," agreed Carlisle.

"I was thinking more about total annihilation, but anything which prevents our side from casualties is a victory of sorts," said Jasper. "Three-on-one would leave too few in Wolfeboro."

"I told you that Esme's future is very certain," said Alice. "No one's going to the house except Rosalie."

"No one's _decided_ to go to the house," corrected Jasper. Alice turned around and stuck her tongue out at him.

"In any case Esme is right where we left her, in front of the computer screen," said Alice, her eyes glazing over. "Rosalie is there, too. At least, that's where they are one minute from now. Josh appears to be arriving at his apartment according to the GPS map."

We had now reached the outskirts of Boston. Emmett was driving more cautiously, following Alice's warnings about speed.

"How much longer?" I asked. I had no idea where Josh lived.

"We've got about 15 more miles. The time will depend on Alice," said Edward.

"It's not like I'm the one putting the cops there," argued Alice. "If you want, I can let you find them instead."

"I'm listening for other things," he replied. "You're doing a better job than I can do, anyway."

Silence fell again. I thought everyone was trying to prepare for what lay in front of us. The last time all of us had faced a battle was twenty years in the past. Renesmee had been hardly more than a baby, if an extraordinarily precocious one. This was different; Jasper thought we had the upper hand in numbers. The battlefield was less certain, though, with unknown dangers and threats to the humans who were in close proximity. And, of course, Josh.

"I can hear him," said Edward suddenly. "He's with Randall. No, he was surprised by Randall. They're both in his apartment, but no one else is there, yet."

"Can you hear what Randall is planning?" Carlisle asked urgently.

"I'm trying. I can hear what he's saying in Josh's head, but I can't find anyone who matches what I'm hearing from Josh. There are so many voices." Edward's voice was pained. There had to have been a million people within a three mile radius of the van. I could only imagine him sifting through so many sounds.

"I can tell that Josh is getting scared," he said a moment later. "Pull over," he demanded. "I'll get there faster on foot. I don't think we have much time."

"Demetri will see you, alone. I can't shield you from that far away," protested Bella as Emmett pulled into an alley.

"You'll all be there so quickly, I don't think it will matter," said Edward. He was already climbing out of the van, and then he was gone. That boy could really move.

* * *

We stared at one another for nearly a minute. I was in disbelief, clearly recalling I had locked my front door. He had a key to my front door; that was the only answer that made sense. Randall stared back in apparent anger. What the hell. He just broke into _my_ apartment. The memory of the night I passed out in his apartment returned, now overlaid with more sinister overtones. He could have done anything he liked that night. Obviously he had copied my keys. He probably had my credit card numbers as well.

"You haven't returned my calls." His voice was low and accusatory.

"That's right. That's what you do when you aren't in the mood to talk. What, are you some stalker ex-girlfriend now?" The rage was starting to build, fueled by my complete heartfail with Tanya. I was not dealing with whatever this was with Randall on this of all nights.

"Not exactly. You see, it's been decided that you are no longer worth our time."

I just looked at him in disbelief. This conversation, his very appearance in my apartment, had taken on an air of unreality.

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense, and I have a lot of things to do. I think you should go." I started to push him backwards, but I discovered he was completely immovable, his chest as hard as a rock. Now the hair on my head was probably standing straight up. Randall just smiled at me, showing very white teeth, as I realized I couldn't budge him. He pushed me back, and, try as I might, I couldn't prevent him from shoving me backwards a few steps.

"What the hell, Randall?" My voice cracked on his name as I stumbled and caught my balance.

Suddenly, faster than I could see him move, he was standing behind me, with one arm encircling me at elbow level. I could not move my arms; I couldn't even budge the hold he had on me. I realized he was burning hot, and his face was right up in the crook of my neck. The smell of his cologne was flooding my lungs, and I was more than uncomfortable at the way he was touching me. Goose bumps went up all over my body in horror.

"Dammit, let me go. What the hell is going on?" I let the rage fill me, and I struggled against his grip.

"I already told you," he responded, completely calm now. "You're no longer worth our time, and we clean our messes, not like the others."

"What…what are you?" It wasn't what I had meant to say, but I couldn't stop myself. There was no human man capable of effortlessly pinning me like this. I was fighting with everything I had, and he wasn't even trying.

"I'm sorry, Joshua, if I told you that, I would have to kill you," he said, ending on a giggle. "You should understand," he said, now in a very serious tone, "what I am is something I never talk about. That's one thing I always liked about you. You don't ask questions."

"Let go. Please." I realized I had gone from anger to begging. It was starting to sink in that I could not escape his grasp. I was completely helpless. This could not be happening.

"I don't think I will," he said. "I have a job to do here, but there is no reason why it shouldn't be a pleasant duty. I didn't want to do it, at first. You used to be a lot of fun, you know."

I kicked at his legs and thrashed my head, but he just laughed in my ear. I started to panic. I was not going to be able to break away from him. I didn't think it was possible for anyone my size to be able to confine me like this. I wasn't exactly a 90-lb weakling.

"I've never had a man before," he murmured in my ear. "I'm surprised at how enjoyable it is. You're much stronger than a woman, so you are completely unprepared for being overpowered. I think it's even better that I know you so well, Joshua. Lily was afraid, but she was more resigned. Women understand they're not strong enough to escape. But you can't believe it, can you?"

Now I was panicking. I had no idea what he was planning, but every possibility that flashed into my head seemed worse than the previous. I thrashed again, arms, legs, head, torso. My head cracked against his, and I saw stars for a second. He just laughed again, then put his nose on my neck, and drew a deep breath. The heat was shocking. He had to be fevered.

"This is my favorite spot on a woman, but it's not the same on you. It just doesn't seem right." He took his free hand and grasped my left hand, pulling it towards his face. I resisted, but it was like struggling against gravity. His pull was inexorable. I could hear my own breathing, loud and hoarse, but I couldn't slow it down.

"Please, Randall. You don't have to do this." My voice didn't sound like me.

"That's where you're wrong. This is part of my job, now." He sniffed across the inside of my wrist, and then ran his tongue from the edge of my palm up to the crook of my elbow, following one of my veins. Fear and disgust flooded me.

"I wish you could see your face now. Your pupils are so dilated, I can't tell your eyes are blue anymore." His hot breath was brushing my ear and neck, increasing my sense of helplessness.

A cold, analytical part of my mind dryly informed me that I was going into shock.

"I will miss you, Joshua. You've been a good friend to me, at least until these last few weeks. I wish you had done what you were supposed to do. Then none of this would have been needed." Randall drew my wrist back up to his face, and I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing out tears that had gathered there against my will.

Abruptly he went rigid, and then swore. I found myself flying through the air, hitting my shuttered closet doors and bursting through the fragile wood. I shook my head in surprise, finding myself sprawled on the floor, half in and half out of my closet. In a daze, I saw Randall appear to blur with speed toward my bedroom door.

At that moment, a loud crash came from my window, where a second blur whizzed across my room, slamming into Randall's blur. The two blurs coalesced and fell to the floor in an explosive crash which shook my entire apartment – possibly the entire apartment building. As the motion stopped, I saw someone had pinned Randall to the floor. This had been nearly instantaneous; I had only registered that the blurs had stopped when the glass from my window hit the floor in a million splintered shards. I blacked out.

"Carson, I think he needs medical attention," I heard Edward speaking, but the words barely made sense. He sounded like he was very far away and possibly speaking through a tin-can. Where had he come from? Where was he? For that matter, where was I? "Emmett, Jasper, restrain Randall for me."

The fear I had experienced during Randall's attack came back, but my head hurt and I felt unable to move. I wanted to tell someone how dangerous Randall was. He would overpower them all.

I felt someone pick up my wrist, the same one Randall had held, and I protested weakly, trying unsuccessfully to pull away. "It's all right, Joshua, I just need to check your pulse and your blood pressure. You may be in shock. No, don't move. You could have a head or a neck injury. Just stay still." My eyes were still closed, but I recognized Carson Platt's voice coming from far away. Perhaps he was where Edward was. I needed to warn them, but I didn't have my own tin-can to talk back to them.

"Talking with a tin can," I mumbled.

"Just listen to Carson, Joshua," came Tanya's soothing alto voice. I found myself relaxing, allowing the activity to continue without hindrance. If Tanya was here, then maybe this night wasn't turning out as badly as I had feared.

**AN2: This chapter does not end on a cliffhanger - I got a lot of complaints about that! Sorry. I have a busy life this coming week, so I don't know when the next update will come. If you want to know, you can always hit "story alert"! Anyone hungry for cheese on crackers?**


	21. Broken

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. I did warn you that I was going to take a while.**

**Thanks to ChieriAn9eL for writing the 100****th**** review of The Cold War! And, really, thanks to all of you reviewing, favorite-ing, alerting, and just reading. I'm enjoying the process, hope you all do, too. The reviews I have gotten are amazingly detailed, and I have enjoyed reading and responding to them.**

**As usual, edward-bella-harry-ginny did an amazing job fixing my mistakes and adding clarity. THANKS!!!! By the way, her story Heart and Soul is complete – go read it!**

**I hope you guys don't feel cheated because a bunch of this we've already seen from other POVs in the last chapter. I just had to because, well, he's **_**Edward**_**.**

"_Emmett, I promise you, if I ever have to hear you sing 'Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves' again I will destroy every game cartridge you own," snarled Alice. "And no more 'Afternoon Delight,' either."_

"_What about that 'Convoy' song?" asked Eleazar. "That was the worst thing I'd ever heard."_

_I could hear the tinkling sounds of Bella and Renesmee's laughter as the van stopped before the house. Edward and I went out the front door to greet them._

"'_Convoy' is all right," Alice said grudgingly. Bella and Renesmee were laughing harder now._

"_Welcome to my nightmare," Edward told Alice with a smirk as she stepped out of the van. "He sings those all the time in his head. I swear I do not know what he likes about seventies pop."_

"_Hey, driver always gets to pick music," insisted Emmett._

_I couldn't help but smile. My family, together._

Ch. 21. Fractured

It was such a relief to have everyone back together again. I hugged Bella and Renesmee simultaneously, taking in their scents, until Nessie started to push me away.

"Air, Dad. I need air, even if you and Mom don't." _It's good to see you, too._

I loosened my hold around Nessie, and she put a hand to my cheek out of reflex. She gave me a fast-forward version of the van ride after Jasper and I had left. Emmett had kept everyone from sinking into depression with his seventies hit parade. Alice had given them frequent updates on our whereabouts, so everyone in the van had stayed much more relaxed than we had been.

Jasper strolled out the front door, finally finished with his computer work and cleaned up from our footrace from Boston. Alice and he were exuberant enough to be smiling at each other, and Jasper's mood was infectious.

"Where's Rosalie?" demanded Emmett plaintively.

"I think she's with Carmen over at the Den," said Eleazar sadly.

"And Garrett, too," said Kate.

"Jasper, turn it down," said Emmett, becoming annoyed. "I miss Rosalie enough all by myself. I don't need any assistance from you."

Bella giggled at Emmett's discomfort, and hugged me harder. "I don't know Emmett, I'm enjoying Jasper's assistance."

"I could rein it in if you promise my wife you'll never play Cher or Starland Vocal Band again," suggested Jasper.

"Uh uh. I'll promise about Starland Vocal Band, but I can't promise about Cher. She's got too many classic seventies hits under her belt."

"Enough," said Carlisle, but it was clear he wasn't angry. "We have a lot to talk about tonight. I understand we're all under a lot of strain, but we have to remember that a lot of families lost loved ones tonight because of us."

"No, Carson, we didn't take down that plane," said Bella. "All the blame goes to the Volturi."

I sensed something in Carlisle's mind, some measure of guilt or confusion or…it was gone so fast I couldn't be sure what it had been. I thought he was hiding something, which was not unusual. Almost everyone I knew intentionally hid things from me, and in general I tried not to pry since there was usually a good reason they didn't want me to know. I looked away from him casually, trying to block him and not let on that I had noticed the slip in his thoughts. Carlisle read my reactions almost as well as I could read his mind. My eyes passed over Alice and Jasper, and I saw Jasper was looking at Carlisle with curiosity. His eyes popped to mine.

_That was weird. I've never felt so much conflict from Carlisle. _

So it wasn't my imagination; Jasper felt it as well.

Eleazar was talking to Carlisle, letting him know some of the details of what he had sensed at Randall's apartment. I relaxed as I felt Carlisle's mental voice match up with his outer appearance. It may have been simple guilt over the destruction of all the innocent lives. I felt some guilt about it, too. Jasper and I had put together the plan to book the flight to Paris with compromised passports; if we hadn't, Demetri wouldn't have targeted that plane.

I pushed down the feelings of guilt. Bella was right; it was the Volturi who were responsible. I looked down into her golden eyes, and I knew what we both wanted required us to get to our house.

"Do you want to head home?" asked Bella casually. "We could drop Nessie off at the Den."

_Edward, you can't leave. Rose is about to call with some bad news._ I glanced over at Alice, but she was still apparently absorbed in Jasper.

"Sorry, love. Apparently we have new plans." Bella sighed, also glancing over at her adopted sister.

Carlisle's cell phone rang, and Alice, Bella, and I turned to see what was about to transpire.

"Hello, Rosalie?"

"Carson, we've got a problem. We think Josh has left in his car." We could all hear Rose's voice through the cell phone speaker.

"How did he get away from Tanya?" asked Carlisle, clearly concerned.

"It's complicated."

"I can locate him through his cell phone GPS," murmured Jasper.

"Rose, his cell phone can be tracked," Carlisle said, nodding at Jasper to get him started. Jasper disappeared into the house.

"You think Jasper can find him that way?" asked Rose.

"_He_ thinks he can find Josh that way. We'll set up the tracking and be by to pick up Tanya. Maybe we can straighten this out before any more tragedy strikes."

"Okay. Tanya will wait out front." Rose hung up the phone.

"Everyone back in the car!" shouted Emmett, a bit too gleefully. _Felix is mine, I can just feel it._

"I'm going with you this time," said Carlisle to me. _Josh may require my skills._ Carlisle disappeared into the house, reappearing a second later with his medical bag.

Jasper followed a moment later. "Everything is set. Josh is headed out on the turnpike. Looks like he's going to his apartment."

We piled back into the van. This time I let Emmett drive while I sat on the back row with Bella and Renesmee. Kate and Garrett sat in front of us, and Carlisle and Jasper sat in the first passenger row. Alice sat in the front passenger seat, diagonally opposite Nessie. I could have driven, but I wanted to sit with Bella and Nessie on this trip.

Emmett's mind was humming with excitement as we pulled out of the drive. Alice was scanning Emmett's future as well as her own since I was sitting too close to Nessie. She was getting a lot of images of Emmett driving the van while she sat in the passenger seat. Even Jasper was a little too close to Nessie for her to pick up more than random images of him sitting in the van. I could tell she was getting frustrated, but I had insisted we needed Nessie's talents during this mission.

My daughter was sitting, apparently calm, looking out the window. Inside, she was roiling with excitement. She was worse than Emmett! The family, and I didn't just mean Bella and me, protected her fiercely. She had not had contact with outside covens other than the Denalis, Nahuel's family, or the Amazons since the incident in Forks when she was a baby. Even Peter and Charlotte concerned me; I was worried Peter would lose control and bite her. While my parental instincts were screaming at me to leave her with Esme, I couldn't avoid the logic that her presence would be helpful when we met the hybrids.

I glanced at Nessie who was still turned to look out the window. Bella caught my eye and smiled reassuringly. She couldn't lift the shield that let me see her thoughts while she was expending effort to shield all of us, but I could tell she knew I was worried about our daughter. She squeezed my arm, and I smiled back.

_Edward, don't alert anyone else. I don't want to alarm Tanya or anyone else without cause, but I just realized what happened earlier tonight when I could suddenly see our future at Randall's empty apartment. It happened right after Jasper decided _not_ to visit Joshua's apartment._

Not alarm Tanya? I was fairly alarmed myself. I shifted intentionally so as not to telegraph my alarm to Bella. Alice was suggesting that we had no future at Josh's apartment, indicating a hybrid was present. They might be lying in wait for Josh.

I caught Tanya's thoughts before we were at the Den. Her primary thought was to avoid thinking about anything she didn't want me to know. Jake was still fuming that Jasper and I had blocked him from going on the trip while asking for Renesmee to accompany us. He wasn't upset that Nessie was going; he was a better man than I when it came to overprotectiveness. He was annoyed that he wasn't going to be part of the action.

We pulled into the parking lot, and Tanya climbed into the van, settling in next to Kate.

"How did it happen?" asked Eleazar, his polite tone belying his disgust that she could lose an entire human being. _She has one job to do, and it isn't even a very hard job. All she had to do was get him the bedroom..._ I hurriedly blocked Eleazar's thoughts.

"I was distracted, and there was a lot of noise from the get-together, you know, the one designed to keep Josh busy? The one populated by beings with superhuman hearing?" Tanya was defensive, and she was hiding something as well.

"Distracted?" asked Eleazar.

_Vampires are no good at respecting privacy, _thought Tanya in annoyance. I snorted, thinking she was probably aiming that thought at me.

"We may have had an argument of sorts," said Tanya. She then launched into a very intense memory of a salad, of all things, followed by thoughts about various cheeses. Her thoughts were quite vivid; each type of cheese was accompanied by a stunning visual of the cheese arranged with appropriate crackers on a plate with charger and an unpleasantly accurate olfactory stimulation.

"Who started it?" asked Eleazar, briefly interrupting the parade of cheese.

"We both contributed," answered Tanya. "It may have been my fault that we separated." The parade continued in its full Technicolor, smellovision glory.

"Let's just focus on what we need to do now," interrupted Carlisle. _This bickering is pointless._

"Yes," agreed Bella, leaning forward to comfort Tanya. "We can't go back and undo the argument. Or whatever it was."

"Where are we going?" asked Tanya. _Thank goodness a new topic. The smell of the cheese was about to kill me._ Tanya's thoughts were relieved.

I sighed heavily. She was the one thinking of the cheese; I was the one stuck with it against my will. I thought the smell would have killed _me_, no small feat considering my recent beef jerky experience with Jacob

"The GPS showed he was about halfway to Boston," said Jasper. "We might catch him; we have a few advantages that he doesn't."_ Emmett's lead foot. Alice's prescience. Edward's telepathy. _

I searched out around us, finding no law enforcement thinking about speed on the highways. I also looked for two minds that I knew well. One of the two was highly organized and goal-oriented: Demetri. The second was nearly a cesspool: Felix. His thoughts were disgusting with no external stimulus, but his thoughts around Bella the two times our paths had crossed had been nothing short of disgusting. Both minds were unique enough that they were easy to search for.

"No traffic cops until Boxford on I-95," said Alice confidently. "But I still don't see us catching him."

"Can you see what he is doing?" I asked Alice.

"No, I'm not seeing him at all. I haven't had one flash solely about him. You know I don't do well with humans. It's even worse with humans I don't know well."

"How fast can you make this hulk move, Emmett?" asked Eleazar.

"Rose is a wonder," said Emmett proudly. "I've gotten the van up to 200 km/hr."

"Yes, and it certainly doesn't vibrate badly back here," I called out. My voice shook from the vibrations under my seat.

"Well, all vans have a back-end vibration," said Emmett defensively.

"I lost our future just now," said Alice grimly. I watched with her as the Emmett's future simply stopped with him still in the driver's seat of the van. Beside me, Bella gasped.

Physical silence descended on the van, but the mental noise was near deafening. Tanya was worried about Josh, and feeling responsible for whatever danger he was in. Alice, unable to see any of our futures past the van ride, had switched to checking on Rosalie and Esme. Emmett was, as usual, unconcerned. Carlisle was virtually unreadable to me. There was something on his mind. I backed away from his thoughts, trying to give him the privacy he sought.

Jasper was trying to calculate whether Demetri could be back in Boston already, given his probable location at sea some two hours ago. The tension was bothering Jasper, I could tell. He was becoming concerned about Tanya. I refocused on her, and realized she was beginning to panic about Josh getting killed before we could get to him. Jasper used his gift to calm her.

"There are ten of us. We have the upper hand," he said, looking back at Tanya.

"It's the timing. We're going to be too late," she said, her voice breaking. Jasper turned up the intensity of his calming influence.

"You should have taken your sports car," Tanya said to me. "You'd have been there by now."

"I thought about it," I told her, "but we need Bella with all of us. Demetri has known I wasn't on the plane almost since it blew up. I doubt he's back already, but he could communicate how close we are to the others. I can only seat two, and we know that may not be enough based upon how many others are involved. We scented three vampires and two hybrids in Randall's apartment."

"Two-on-one works for me," said Jasper. "I'd prefer three-on-one."

"That might prevent any need to fight," agreed Carlisle.

"I was thinking more about total annihilation, but anything which prevents our side from casualties is a victory of sorts," said Jasper. "Three-on-one would leave too few in Wolfeboro."

"I told you that Esme's future is very certain," said Alice. "No one's going to the house except Rosalie."

"No one's _decided_ to go to the house," corrected Jasper. Alice turned around and stuck her tongue out at him.

"In any case Esme is right where we left her, in front of the computer screen," said Alice, her eyes glazing over. "Rosalie is there, too. At least, that's where they are one minute from now. Josh appears to be arriving at his apartment according to the GPS map."

We were nearing Boston, and I had to expend more effort scanning for law enforcement, Demetri, and Felix. I knew from Alice's vision of the GPS map that we were still too far for me to find Josh.

"How much longer?" asked Tanya. _ I don't even know where we're going, exactly._

"We've got about 15 more miles. The time will depend on Alice," I told her.

"It's not like I'm the one putting the cops there," argued Alice. "If you want, I can let you find them instead."_ Geez, Edward. I know you can tell how much effort I'm putting into this._

"I'm listening for other things," I told Alice. "You're doing a better job than I can do, anyway," I added, attempting to placate the little pixie.

Our approach into Boston was complicating my efforts to scan for anyone. The noise of millions of random voices could be shut out of my head with effort, but actively searching for a single voice required me to sift through all the noise. I couldn't shut it out if I was trying to find something buried in it. Bella's hand started to stroke my arm soothingly. I had scrunched up my face, squeezing the bridge of my nose, so I supposed I did look like I needed soothing.

I heard Josh's mental voice come into focus; he was distraught over Tanya. Apparently the argument she had managed to avoid thinking about was the only thing Josh was thinking about. He was falling in love with her? I had a brief surge of annoyance. Tanya was supposed to babysit Josh, not seduce him. Well, I had imagined seducing _might_ occur. She wasn't supposed to make him fall in love with her. No wonder she was avoiding me. What had prompted the argument? It was clear from Josh's thoughts that Tanya had pushed him away. Perhaps she had realized she had gone too far with him?

Josh was alarmed by the sense of his apartment, and I saw Randall appear in his bedroom doorway.

"I can hear him," I said aloud, not bothering to qualify who "he" was. "He's with Randall. No, he was surprised by Randall. They're both in his apartment, but no one else is there, yet." I followed Josh's thoughts and realized Randall had not been invited in. I could see Randall's face, but he wasn't speaking.

"Can you hear what Randall is planning?" Carlisle asked urgently.

Finally, Randall opened his mouth, accusing Josh of not returning calls. Maybe I had been wrong and his interest in Josh was something entirely different. He sounded like a jilted lover. I was sifting through the voices, trying to match something to the voice I had heard through Josh's mind, but nothing matched. Opening myself further to all the voices around made the entire group increase in volume, to the point of pain. I couldn't find a reverse match to Josh, someone looking at Josh's face while he was looking at Randall, but I knew it wasn't because the thoughts were shielded. I could see thousands of people's faces flashing one by one through my head; there were so many I couldn't find the right one.

"I'm trying. I can hear what he's saying in Josh's head, but I can't find anyone who matches what I'm hearing from Josh. There are so many voices." I was straining harder, trying to find the voice and Josh's face. The voices increased in volume, different faces flipping through my mind faster and faster. It wasn't working; there were too many people. I went back to focusing on Josh, shutting out the overwhelming cacophony.

Josh was shoving Randall, and discovering that Randall wasn't the average human. The situation was escalating out of control.

"I can tell that Josh is getting scared," I announced. Now Randall shoved Josh back. Time was running out if Randall was deciding to get violent. "Pull over. I'll get there faster on foot. I don't think we have much time."

Emmett pulled the van into an alley so I could get out.

_We'll be right behind you, bro. Go save your human buddy._

The building on the left had a fire escape that ran up to the roof five stories above. My memory of this part of Boston suggested I could get to Josh's without ever descending back to street level.

_If Demetri and Felix arrive before you do, you are not to fight them alone._ Carlisle looked back at me, and I nodded slightly. I thought I could take down one or the other, despite Felix's size and Demetri's experience. Tackling them together would surely be suicide.

"Demetri will see you, alone. I can't shield you from that far away," protested Bella, squeezing my arm. I looked into her eyes, golden now, but still as deep and expressive as they had been when I had fallen in love with their brown depths. I didn't have the time to tell her everything I wanted to say to her, and even if I did, I wouldn't have done it in front of everyone in the van.

"You'll all be there so quickly, I don't think it will matter," I said, trying to convey with my eyes to her everything I was leaving unsaid. I climbed from the back row of seats to the sliding door, and shot over to the fire escape. I was on the roof in less than a second. I began sprinting towards Josh's apartment; by the time I was on the fourth roof over, my family's thoughts winked out. I had left the confines of Bella's shield.

The most direct path to Josh's apartment was not feasible; two buildings of more than 30 stories forced me to divert slightly, and one building had people on the roof. They were in bright lights, so my movements on the nearby darker roofs were not obvious. They were also inebriated, which further prevented them from noticing my illicit activities.

I circled around the obstacles, running quickly but controlled; I didn't want to punch a hole through one of the flat roofs. Meanwhile, Randall's behavior was quite alarming and became more disturbing by the second in Josh's mind. I didn't understand why Randall's thoughts weren't coming into focus yet; I was getting close very quickly which should have improved my ability to find him.

I was now only two buildings away, and Josh's life was clearly in immediate jeopardy. Randall was preparing to bite him, and I didn't think I would make it in time. I decided to try scaring him off.

"Randall St. John, this is Edward Cullen. Leave the human. We've got you surrounded," I announced in a slightly above-normal tone of voice. I assumed I was telling the truth; the rest of the family couldn't be too far behind. I felt confident that Renesmee could have heard me at that distance, so I hoped Randall's hearing was equally acute. Through Josh's mind, I could see Randall had indeed decided to abandon his attempt. At nearly a full run, I leapt from the top of the closest building, balling myself up so I would fit through Josh's bedroom window when I hit it at full speed. I impacted the glass square on and hit the floor running. I tackled Randall before he was able to exit the bedroom door and secured his arms, pressing my knee into his back. I turned to look at Josh in time to see his eyes roll back as he passed out.

I could hear Josh's heart beating strongly; I wasn't overly worried about him. There was, of course, the possibility of a head injury, but there wasn't anything I could do about it with Randall writhing underneath me. I scanned for the approach of Demetri or Felix or my family, but I primarily focused on finding Randall's thoughts.

I realized now why he had been difficult to find. Each thought was like a fragment. The glass littering the floor behind me had once been a window; with effort, the pieces could be reassembled like a puzzle. His thoughts were similarly fragmented and broken, different ideas merging with others, then breaking apart. His perception of his sensory input mixed with his internal monologue. Different trains of thought were spawned by each new sensation, the trains departing rapidly and simultaneously from the roundhouse, some then circling back to collide and spawn new ideas. It was bewildering, and I wasn't sure how I would learn anything from the morass.

Jasper and Carlisle appeared behind me, having entered through the window I had broken.

_Are you all right?_ Carlisle's mental voice broke into my head. I hoped that meant Bella was close enough to include me in her shield and not that Carlisle and Jasper had also left the rest behind.

"Carson, I think he needs medical attention," I told Carlisle, motioning with my head towards Josh.

The rest of the family entered the room in the conventional manner having come through the apartment building.

"Emmett, Jasper, restrain Randall for me," I requested. They took the struggling man from my grasp as Tanya rushed across the room to Josh.

Bella came up to me, and brushed her hand down my arm. "I hate it when you do that," she said.

"Do what?" I asked. I had a hard time focusing on her words when she looked up at me.

"You know what," she said with a small smile. "You have a need to run off and take care of things on your own."

I kissed Bella on the top of her head, and then motioned Alice to join me under the broken window. We were as far as we could get from Randall and still be in the same room. Between us, Carlisle and Tanya were tending to Josh. Kate, Eleazar, and Renesmee stood out in the hallway.

"He's not gifted," pronounced Eleazar. I was relieved. Thus far the people I had met with highly unusual minds had been gifted, but it would have been highly inconvenient to discover that Randall had a shield or offensive weapon at his disposal.

Randall was standing now, Jasper holding one arm and Emmett the other. He was watching me intently, but every now and then his eyes would cut over to Josh. He looked like he was planning something, an escape or an attack, but I couldn't find the key to it in his fractured thoughts.

"Is your name Randall St. John?" I asked straight out. Josh had needed specific questions to direct his thoughts; I wondered if it would work with Randall. The swirl in his thoughts was blank to me.

"What is your name?" I said, trying a different tack.

_No name. What is a Rose? Unnamed, does it smell? Roses are red, books are read, blood is red. Josh's blood._

The short dialogue emerged from the swirling thoughts. I could see myself looking back at him momentarily in his mind, and then my image split, swirling like a kaleidoscope.

"Your name is not Randall?"

_No name. Sarah says no names._

"Carson." He turned to look at me.

_Josh will be fine._

"No, I need your assistance." I grabbed paper and a pen from Josh's desk, and rapidly scribbled a note to Carlisle. "_I think he's schizophrenic, but it seems magnified a thousand fold from the strength of his hybrid mind. I don't think he was ever named._"

Bella looked over our shoulders at the note and gasped.

"How old are you?" I asked aloud.

_Age to age, still the same. Things change, they stay the same._

"Randall, how long has it been since you were born?" I asked.

I was hit with the image of a dying woman, bloodied, reaching for him, and then collapsing. His birth mother, I assumed. The images dredged up my own memories of Renesmee's horrifying birth and how Bella had nearly died. Well, Bella _had_ died, in truth.

_She was weak. Sarah makes me strong._

"How many years have you been with Sarah?" I asked, trying again.

_Sarah! It hurts! _ The words came with images, fast-forwarding through childhood and adolescence. Our daughter had passed through the accelerated childhood typical of hybrids knowing at every moment that she was loved by us, by our entire family, by her doting grandparents, and by Jake. Randall, or whoever he was, had measured his time with pain.

I scribbled to Carlisle. _I estimate between 5 and 6 years. He's quite young, but he doesn't look that young._

_Ask him what the plan is!_ Jasper demanded.

I shook my head at Jasper in annoyance. If I couldn't get Randall to think coherently of his name or age, a plan was not going to be decipherable.

"What is your job?" asked Josh suddenly. In my distraction with Randall, I hadn't realized Josh was fully conscious. Scanning Josh's thoughts, I realized that Randall had used the term "job" repeatedly during their confrontation.

_You have a job. Responsibilities._ Randall's thoughts sounded almost lucid in response to Josh's question.

Josh had found the magic word, a key into the labyrinth of Randall's mind.

"What is your job?" I repeated.

"You have a job to do. You must learn. Read. Recite." These were Randall's first words aloud since I had tackled him. He was reciting a lesson to us. His mind was roiling with the pain he knew would come if the answers were incorrect, and he was waiting for the next question.

I said it again. "What is your job?"

"I have to be Randall," he said, and his eyes began darting around the room. He fixated on Josh for a moment, then back on me. This time, my image remained stable in his mind. Somehow, the litany of his duties was stabilizing his thoughts.

I said it again. "What is your job?"

"I teach Joshua. He learns from me, then he recites," said Randall, his eyes flicking repeatedly to Josh. I could tell that Randall wasn't done; there was more to his list of duties.

From Josh, I sensed confusion and revulsion. He had recognized earlier that Randall wasn't normal, but he had been unable to make the leap that Randall was not human. Now, looking around the room at the impassive, imposing people, he was questioning what he knew about us. He was watching me, particularly, and I was surprised at how authoritative and emotionless I appeared to him.

I was about to repeat the question once again, when Randall interrupted me.

"You are Edward Cullen."

"Yes, that is my name," I agreed. I tried to analyze what I was hearing from him, why he had chosen that moment to take the initiative in the conversation, and in his mind I heard the echo of the words I had said to him when still out on the roof.

_Randall St. John. NOT ME. NOT ME. NOT NOW. This is Edward Cullen. Leave the human. We've got you surrounded. NOT THEM._

Randall had to know about me, but he had apparently never seen me or even a photograph of me before. I supposed that wasn't surprising considering our rule of leaving no evidence. We didn't even leave behind yearbook photos. His eyes flicked around the room again, taking in each

vampire present as though he were just realizing the breadth of the situation.

_Cullens. Edward Cullen. Alice Cullen. Carlisle Cullen. Jasper Emmett Alice Bella Rosalie Esme Carlisle Edward Renesmee Jasper Emmett Alice Bella Rosalie Esme Carlisle Edward Renesmee_

He didn't know who we were, individually, except now for me. He wasn't aware that Tanya wasn't a Cullen. He was more aware of his precarious situation, but not necessarily concerned for his safety. I couldn't understand his motivation.

_I don't understand Randall._ Jasper was trying to make sense of the emotions he sensed radiating from our hybrid prisoner. _His emotional state changes more quickly than should be possible. Rage? Fear? Eagerness to please?_

Randall's thoughts still bounced around, never focusing on any given thing or individual for more than a fraction of a second. I decided it was time to try another tack. If he was eager to please, I would offer him something in return.

"Nessie? Are you ready?"

"Sure, Dad." Nessie slipped into the room. I didn't like this part of the plan, even though it had been my idea. She was entirely too close to Randall, and he had proved himself dangerous.

"Don't let his teeth get anywhere near my daughter," I warned Emmett and Jasper.

_Geez, Edward, like we couldn't figure that out on our own._ I rolled my eyes at Emmett.

I was concentrating on Nessie, but noted that Josh was evaluating the two of us with the new information we had given him. Secrecy now with Josh was like closing the barn doors after all the walls had fallen away and the horses had long escaped.

Emmett used one hand to grasp Randall's chin, ensuring he couldn't suddenly lunge. Nessie walked up to him gingerly, and placed her hand against his face. Because of Emmett's grip, Randall's face was turned slightly away from her, but his eyes were focused solely on her. Nessie's gift had two components; first, she could place her own thoughts into another's mind with physical contact. She preferred palm-to-face contact when possible, although she could place her palm anywhere on the other person's skin. The second component was the compelling nature of the transfer; memories she transferred were believed unequivocally while her opinions were understood to be sincere. I listened to both sides of the transfer.

"What is she telling him?" asked Bella quietly, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"She's showing him her life with us, that hybrids can live as equals with vampires and humans," I responded absently, intent on the flow of information.

Randall's response was, like his other thoughts, difficult to decipher. His eyes were now unfocused as he tried to process Renesmee's message, which was surprisingly undistorted until he thought about it. His ordinary sensory input was confused even before he considered its meaning, as when my image swirled in his mind. He actually _saw_ the swirled image. Renesmee's memories of me as her father and Bella as her mother seemed to spark something in him, though. I tilted my head, trying unsuccessfully to hear what he was thinking, trying to make sense of the meaningless.

_Something's happening Edward; his emotional state just changed rapidly to determination. Watch what happens. Be ready to move._ Jasper raised his eyebrows at me, checking to ensure I had heard him. I nodded slightly.

Alice had been standing next to me, trying to watch what she could of the future for herself, Bella, and me. We were the only ones in the room outside the fuzzy zone created by Randall and Renesmee. Abruptly, our futures vanished.

Randall jerked away from Emmett and Jasper, shoved Renesmee aside hard enough that she stumbled into the wall, and lunged toward me, teeth bared. I knew I was not his target. His entire mind was focused on an image of Bella's face.

**AN2: So, uh, what do you think Randall's fate will be?**


	22. Check

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Thanks so much to edward-bella-harry-ginny for beta'ing this chapter. I can't believe she's still willing to read my unedited drafts, but you should all thank her profusely with me. (You don't want to see that nonsense.) She also came up with the title of this chapter (think chess).**

Something's happening Edward; his emotional state just changed rapidly to determination. Watch what happens. Be ready to move._ Jasper raised his eyebrows at me, checking to ensure I had heard him. I nodded slightly._

_Alice had been standing next to me, trying to watch what she could of the future for herself, Bella, and me. We were the only ones in the room outside the fuzzy zone created by Randall and Renesmee. Abruptly, our futures vanished._

_Randall jerked away from Emmett and Jasper, shoved Renesmee aside hard enough that she stumbled into the wall, and lunged toward me, teeth bared. I knew I was not his target. His entire mind was focused on an image of Bella's face._

Ch. 22. Check

I watched for less than a millisecond as Randall charged toward me, my wife's face dominating his mind. Rage surged up in me, and I knew my determination was reflected in my face.

_No, Edward, he's not responsible!_ Carlisle was certain of my response to the situation.

I stepped out of Randall's path at Carlisle's admonition and allowed him to pass me. I fought the instinctual urge to protect my mate even though the fury nearly stripped my reason away. I watched as Randall made the decision to lunge for Bella's neck, confirmation of his true mission. Unable to resist any longer, I grabbed his arm and used his own momentum to flip him around so that he faced away from Bella. I threw him to the ground, slightly less gently than when I had initially tackled him. Carlisle joined me almost immediately, helping me restrain Randall and, to some extent, helping me restrain my rage. There was really no need to worry, I told myself. Hybrids were superhumanly fast but still shockingly slow for a vampire.

"Dammit, Jasper, you could warn a fellow before a trick like that," I said angrily.

"I did warn you," he responded, slightly confused.

"All you thought was 'Be ready to move'; you couldn't think to say 'Watch out Edward, I'm going to let the psychotic killer hybrid go free to see what the hell he's thinking?' I'm a mind reader; it's not like Randall would have heard you."

"I didn't figure it was necessary. You weren't going to have any trouble catching him." Jasper was annoyingly calm, and the urge to attack someone (since Randall wasn't really a good target) surged in me until Jasper fought back with a wave of calmness.

Emmett was grinning. "So, from the moves Randall made and your unbelievable overreaction, I assume he was going for Bella?"

"Apparently she was his final target, the one they trained him for," I responded, my jaw still stiff. I wondered if he was capable of intentionally hiding that from me, or if his fractured mind had done the job by accident. I couldn't stop glowering, my anger now diffused at Randall, Jasper, Carlisle for stopping me, and the Volturi in general.

"He couldn't have gotten me," Bella assured me. "Even with the element of surprise, I would easily have gotten away. I don't think he could kill me anyway. If he's only as strong as Nessie, he wouldn't have been able to take me down." I knew what she said was true, but it didn't change the fact that _she_ had been attacked.

I winced a little at Josh's thoughts, and glanced over at where he sat on the floor with Tanya. He was watching me with caution. I saw myself in his mind, and made a Herculean effort to relax my face back to a more human appearance. With what Josh had seen and heard, we had some nasty decisions to make about his fate. My admission of my gift had him intrigued even as my show of physical strength had him worried. He wasn't scared of us yet; we were the ones who had saved him from certain death. He knew exactly how strong Randall was; he was curious that even Bella was certain that his attacker was no threat to her. Josh was not scared yet, but he was considering what we could possibly be in order to overwhelm Randall so easily.

"What do we do with him?" asked Emmett, gesturing at Randall, at the same time Jasper said "This doesn't make any sense."

Underneath me, Randall made another bid at freedom, this time unsuccessfully.

"Edward, I have to kill Bella Cullen and Josh. It's my _job_." He was pleading with me. It was the way he spoke to his trainers, and it was sickening. The Volturi had gone too far with this. Aro had created this child and had tortured him into becoming the sad creature before me.

_He's becoming frantic, Edward._ I didn't need Jasper's gift to realize that. Randall's sensory perception was as warped as before, but his mind was becoming focused. He was expecting to be punished because Bella and Josh were still alive. He perceived me to be the leader of our group of vampires, and he expected me to be the one to exact the punishment.

"Will you two take him back to the far wall again? And this time, don't let him go. Nessie, I need you to tell Randall that we're not going to punish him and that he doesn't need to kill Bella or Josh." Emmett and Jasper took Randall from where Carlisle and I had him pinned to the floor. Alice sighed in relief when he moved far enough away. I backed up to stand between Alice and Bella, and Bella put her arms around my waist.

"I don't think it would hurt for him to be calmer," Carlisle said pointedly.

"Don't knock him out; he needs to be able to hear Nessie," I cautioned Jasper.

I listened with one ear, so to speak, while Nessie poured out her encouraging thoughts to Randall. Between Nessie's clear visions and Jasper's calming influence, Randall's thoughts were actually becoming more coherent. I let the two of them work on him, and turned my attention to Carlisle.

"He's been trained almost exclusively for this mission, as far as I can tell. Randall St. John is not his identity; it's a persona he was trained to take on. He was expecting me to hurt him because he hasn't completed his mission here."

"Killing Bella?" asked Carlisle.

"And Josh. Whoever was in charge of him, someone named Sarah, I think, used what amounts to torture to control him."

"I don't know anyone named Sarah," said Eleazar from the other room. "She's not a member of the guard, to the best of my knowledge." I didn't recognize the name, either. I had catalogued the mind of each member of the Volturi Guard who had come to Forks; none had been named Sarah.

"He's still practically a baby," said Bella. "We can't kill him outright."

The room fell silent for a moment. Bella had cut to the heart of our dilemma.

_He's dangerous, Edward. Don't get attached to this one._ Emmett was being pragmatic, and I sympathized with his view. I wasn't sure if Randall could be saved or cured or whatever it was he needed. The resources needed to control him would be enormous, and he had been brainwashed into believing that he should kill my wife and Joshua as well.

Jasper's thoughts were more unnerving than Emmett's. He felt we had already gained what tactical advantage we would get from Randall.

Carlisle was contemplating the severity of Randall's illness and whether antipsychotic drug therapy would be more effective on hybrid brain physiology than electroconvulsive therapy. _I doubt Nessie will be able to break the conditioning the Volturi put him through. Josh will not be safe around Randall, and Bella's presence is going to agitate him as well even if she is safe from him._

"Carson, I suggest we make a decision quickly," said Jasper finally. "It is unlikely that Randall is allowed to work wholly unsupervised."

I scanned the minds in proximity. I could not hear Demetri or Felix. "I don't hear anyone yet."

"Edward and Bella don't seem to be in any immediate danger," announced Alice. She squeezed her eyes shut a moment. "It's hard to be sure even an hour out with the hybrids with us."

"We'll take him back to Wolfeboro," decided Carlisle. "I think we need to try treatment." Carlisle was reluctant to kill unnecessarily; he had never felt that killing a human was necessary, but a hybrid was another situation entirely. Do we treat him the same as an enemy vampire? Or as a more fragile species, requiring our protection?

"I think we need to try to sedate him, then," I began.

"Are you insane?" Josh interrupted, face red. He stood, a little woozily at first.

"Josh, don't." Tanya tried to move him toward the bed.

"No. This is important." Josh waved off Tanya's assistance. "This man tried to kill me," Josh stated emphatically, pointing at Randall. "He is a killer. He as much as admitted he killed Lily, and suggested there were a lot of other women as well. He needs to be dealt with. The police should be informed. Lily probably has family wondering where she's gone. I don't know what exactly he is or even what you are, but you can't just whisk him away and take care of him."

"Josh." I put my hands up, trying to calm him. "I need you to trust me, to trust that we wouldn't allow him to harm anyone. You saw what he did to you. Do you think we could leave him with ordinary policemen?" I sensed that Josh accepted that what I said was true; unfortunately, that brought up a host of other issues.

"He said he would have to kill me if I knew what he was." Josh looked at me. "Is that true?"

"Not exactly," I hedged.

_He's seen too much anyway, Edward._ _Josh's fate is sealed. We can't just leave him now._ Carlisle's thoughts were resigned. He had never had to make this decision before. Informing Bella of our true nature had been entirely my choice, even if she had been unfailingly persistent in her quest for the truth.

"What do you mean by 'not exactly'?" Josh demanded impatiently.

_Honesty is the only option left, Edward_, came Tanya's mental voice.

"We should continue this conversation somewhere else," said Jasper. _His handlers are going to notice he's missing eventually. There's no telling how often he has to make contact._

"Please, Josh," I urged him. "Let's go back to Wolfeboro; we will answer all your questions there. This is a matter of some urgency."

Josh looked at me with a combination of indecision and anger. I sensed he was relenting, though. "I can wait until then," he said finally.

Carlisle, meanwhile, had been pulling things out of his medical bag. "I still have one of the ceramic syringes Emmett manufactured for me to draw blood from Nessie," he said. "I think I can use that to sedate Randall. The problem is dosage. Their metabolism is so much higher than humans that the usual dosing formulas don't apply." I listened intently as Carlisle ran through a calculation in his head. He filled the syringe with his calculated dose, and then approached Randall.

Randall's eyes were wild as Carlisle approached him with the syringe, and I was appalled by the litany which ran through his mind. He was pleading silently for Carlisle not to hurt him. I thought of Bella and imagined for a moment what I would have done if our daughter, our Renesmee, had been subjected to the treatment Randall had received. I felt my hands curl involuntarily into fists. Bella felt my tension increase, and squeezed me tighter, rubbing one hand on my back.

"This might sting a little," Carlisle told Randall in his gentle "doctor" voice. "It's something to help you relax." Jasper and Emmett had to tighten their grip as Randall tried to avoid the needle. Nessie added her words of reassurance, allowing Carlisle to inject the sedative.

"Is he fully sedated?" asked Carlisle a few moments later as Randall's form slumped in Emmett and Jasper's grip.

"He is. I can't hear anything from him," I answered.

"He is fully calmed and sleeping," agreed Jasper.

"All right, let's get back to Wolfeboro. I need time to evaluate him, with your assistance, Edward."

"I think this is a bad idea," reiterated Jasper. "He is dangerous to Joshua and probably other humans as well. I don't know if we'll be able to control him."

"If he's that out of control, I agree, we will kill him," said Carlisle reluctantly. His jaw clenched for a moment, and I thought I heard a whisper of other ideas flash through his mind. "Don't let him go, not even for a moment."

"We should go now," said Jasper. He had been on edge for the last half hour.

"No, it's too late," wailed Alice, looking at me in distress. Everyone conscious in the room tensed and froze except for Josh, who was confused, looking at each of us in turn.

_Edward Cullen._ The voice was unknown to me, female, and over a mile distant. Calling my name was a surefire method to catch my attention. _Edward Cullen. We know you're in Joshua's apartment, interrupting Randall's work. You have 30 seconds to call the cell phone number I will give you, or we will blow up the apartment building._ Then, the mental voice quickly said a number with a local area code.

I must have gasped or made some other involuntary signal while the voice spoke to me. When I looked up, everyone in the room was staring at me, except for the docile Randall. I was frozen with indecision – the cell phone number could trigger a bomb for all I knew. The mental voice had totally disappeared. Whoever it was had moved out of range.

"What is it?" asked Carlisle aloud in alarm.

"Call it! Call it now!" said Alice frantically, pulling on my sleeve. I saw the vision in her mind, my inaction leading to an explosion which took out every one of us along with half the block.

I pulled out my phone and dialed.

"Ah, you are as talented as I have been told," said the female voice. Her English was perfect, but had a slight accent which eluded me. "I am pleased I did not have to kill you along with the humans. You have something that belongs to me. I am willing to negotiate its return. If you cooperate, I will refrain from setting off the explosives in the building."

"What do you want me to do?" Everyone in the room could hear both sides of this exchange, except Josh.

_Careful, Edward_, warned Jasper. He motioned at Eleazar to get everyone else out of the building. Carlisle remained, along with Jasper and Emmett holding Randall. Alice stood at my elbow, her eyes closed and forehead creased.

"Bring the hybrid boy to the far north side of Christopher Columbus Park at eight tomorrow morning. Pass us the boy, and we will not blow up any more humans. You have my promise."

"Since we're not humans and I don't know you, that promise is not very reassuring."

"I think that your Carlisle will appreciate the agreement. You are in a very dense area of Boston right now. I also have greetings from Italy to share with you tomorrow."

"I will not be alone when I go to the park," I warned as Jasper nodded.

"Neither will I. Bring your family. I look forward to meeting them all." The "call ended" screen came up on my phone.

"Let's get Randall out of here, and then we can clear the building of explosives," said Carlisle.

"I think we should leave it," said Jasper. "We don't know if she was lying."

"Edward, go take Jasper's place," demanded Alice imperiously, while jabbing me in the back. "Jasper, come here."

We switched places obediently; Alice didn't leave us another option. I watched with interest as Alice probed the future. There was confusion in Jasper's immediate future, a result of his disagreement with Carlisle.

"I think you should clear the explosives from the building," said Alice. Jasper's reflex to accommodate Alice's wishes cleared the future: he and Emmett would find the explosives and dispose of them. No tragic explosions were on tonight's agenda. Only Alice and I knew how she had manipulated Jasper to probe the possible outcomes. "You're going to find two sets of explosive devices, both in the basement on opposite sides. One is almost directly beneath us; the other is at the far west side of the building."

"They must be sealed devices," commented Emmett. "I can't smell any trace explosives."

"Maybe the basement is too far away?" suggested Jasper.

"You two go and take care of that; Edward and I will escort Randall to the van," said Carlisle.

Once we reached van, we had a dilemma. Separating Randall and Bella meant we would have to split forces.

"I think Josh should ride in a separate vehicle," said Tanya. "Randall was supposed to kill him. The tight space might make it difficult to control the situation."

"He is asleep. I think I'll be all right unless he snores explosively on me," retorted Josh.

"I think Josh, Tanya, Eleazar, and Bella should take Josh's car," said Carlisle. "I want Bella away from Randall since she agitates him. I can't be certain the sedative will keep him out all the way to Wolfeboro. The rest of us will follow in the van." Carlisle and I climbed into the back row of the van, Randall wedged between us. Renesmee sat in front of us, Kate in front of her, and Alice climbed into the front passenger seat.

"This isn't going to work," said Alice with disgust. "I need to be in the other vehicle to see. Nessie is too close, and it's worse with both of them together."

"Sorry, Aunt Pixie," said Renesmee, a tight smile on her face. Randall was only the second hybrid she had met, and he was more tortured than Nahuel had been. My daughter had her mother's tender heart, if a little more hidden under her sassy exterior. The night's events had affected her deeply.

"I think you'll fit in the backseat between Tanya and Bella," said Carlisle. "I don't think anyone in that car should come over here." _I'll be happier with one more vampire in that car anyway. If the Volturi attack that car, Josh will make it much harder for the rest to fight._

Alice slipped out of the van, and a moment later, Emmett and Jasper joined us, taking the driver's and front passenger's seats. Eleazar pulled out in Josh's car, and Emmett followed him.

"Make sure you stay close behind Josh's car," I began telling Emmett.

"I'm not an idiot, Edward," growled Emmett. "Bella's shield only extends so far, blah, blah, blah, Volturi surprise attack, blah, blah, blah."

Kate hiccupped back a laugh, and Renesmee patted her on the back.

If the drive down to Boston had been tense, the return to Wolfeboro was like the instant before the wire snapped, Emmett's comment aside. Our worst fears about Randall and the Volturi's interest in us were confirmed. We had a deadline for tomorrow morning, literally. Randall might not live beyond that time. We might not be willing to kill him outright, but was it possible for us to hand him back to the Volturi? He was essentially a child, a very sick one, and we were contemplating handing him over to the people who had tortured him. Now that he had failed in his "mission"; would they punish him or kill him outright?

The silence in the van was deafening, and I knew that, like me, each person was caught up in their own thoughts about the seriousness of our situation. Carlisle's mind was the most quiescent; I thought he was still hiding something from me. To distract myself, I decided to resolve something which had been bothering me.

"Jasper, what did you mean when you said 'this doesn't make sense'" I asked.

"You mean right before Randall interrupted me? I meant that, if the hybrids are such a commodity that Aro would blow up a plane to get his hands on you, why would he send one of the few he has on a suicide mission?" Jasper paused to collect his thoughts.

"What do you mean, suicide mission?" asked Emmett.

"You heard Bella; she doesn't think Randall could have surprised her. He's too slow, and even though she isn't strong for a vampire, she is very strong compared to him. Either Bella would kill him or another of us would have killed him. The Volturi would have to know that Randall is no threat to a vampire."

"They might have counted on me killing him," I said. "I've been known to have a temper, especially when Bella's safety is concerned."

"It still doesn't make sense," repeated Jasper. "Why throw away the advantage they have against Alice?"

"Think about the first time Josh came to the store. Bella was alone. I wasn't even in the country. Maybe Josh was sent at that time to see how our defenses were set when Alice and I were gone."

"It could have worked, if Randall was the one who walked in that day instead of Josh," said Jasper thoughtfully. "Alice and I were running an errand, and Emmett was in the vault. If they had been just lucky enough, they might have succeeded. We were getting complacent. Still, they would have needed a lot of luck. It would have been hard to surprise Bella when Randall's scent so obviously makes him a hybrid."

"Amun tried to lure me away this week," I said. "If I hadn't gotten suspicious about the manuscript, if you hadn't whaled on me about these trips, if Josh weren't on Spring Break this week, this is the week they would have taken out Bella."

"This plan of theirs with the plane – that was put together very quickly. It had to have been implemented after I made the reservations," added Jasper. "If they weren't sure you were on that plane, Bella was the target. Bella was the original target."

We all knew why. Without Bella's shield, Alec and Jane could waltz into Wolfeboro and pick us off at will. There would be no need for subterfuge. There would be no way for us to hide.

**AN2: Shameless plug: edward-bella-harry-ginny and I have a new one-shot out, "Masen and Swan: The FBI's Most Unwanted." You can find it on either of our profiles. It's an entry in bronzehairedgirl620's Epic T-rated contest in memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal. It is a **_**lot**_** more light-hearted than this fic, but we still managed to inject a little bit of creepy.**

**Coming up next (I think) in The Cold War: Josh and Tanya have a discussion.**


	23. Truth

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: First things first: I owe edward-bella-harry-ginny and Justine Lark deep debts for putting up with my shenanigans. They've both read and commented on this chapter (which resembles the original, but that's about it). Ebhg wrote some new paragraphs for me when I could not for the life of me figure out where to put one of the necessary plot developments. I think we should (someday) do a demonstration with an original version, the revised version, and the final version of a paragraph so everyone can see the evolution of sense from nonsense. **

**Secondly, thanks to all who review. It is fun to hear from you! I want to send a special thanks to Chelle Cullen who reviewed "anonymously." I can't write you back, so thanks, and thanks for alerting your mates.**

**Lastly, meant to get this out Sunday, actually, but the rewrites and a goof up on ff dot net gave us a delay or two.**

Ch. 23. Truth

My argument with Edward had left my blood surging and I had a slight ringing in my ears. My head hurt from where it had hit my closet doors, and I had a feeling I was getting a good bruise on my backside from where I had hit the floor. Edward had practically begged me to wait until we got back to Wolfeboro to continue our "discussion." I was disinclined to listen, but if someone who could easily overpower Randall was concerned, I would have been foolish not to heed the warning.

Now the fight was beginning to go out of me as they fiddled with Randall. I had already had a long day: eight hours of research, fighting with Tanya, driving to Boston, and then having a near-death experience takes a lot out of a guy. My clock radio was reading 1:45. I had a right to be tired.

"We should go now," said the tall blond named Jasper, startling me from my increasingly sleepy thoughts.

"No, it's too late," wailed Alice, looking at Edward.

For some reason, Alice's warning was a cue for everyone in the room to freeze. It was one more bizarre item in a long night of bizarre occurrences. I didn't think anyone in the room was even breathing, besides myself. I looked at each face, wondering what was happening.

Edward broke the silence with a gasp as his mouth fell slightly open. He had attracted everyone's interest; heads and eyes swiveled to scrutinize his horrified face. His eyes were unfocused as if he were absorbed in some waking nightmare. The others looked concerned, but not confused – they seemed to understand what was happening to Edward.

"What is it?" asked Carson in dismay.

"Call it! Call it now!" shouted Alice, practically vibrating with fear. She was looking at Edward with giant eyes and grasping his sleeve. Call what?

Edward pulled out his cell phone and dialed rapidly. He stood in silence, his body stiff, but his eyes kept flicking to Carson who was watching him intently.

"What do you want me to do?" Edward asked into the phone.

Suddenly, the room whirled with activity as half the people began a rushed exodus from my apartment. I wanted to stay; it was _my_ apartment, but Tanya herded me through my bedroom door and then through the rest of the apartment into the corridor.

At the top of the stairs, Tanya grabbed one of my arms and Kate the other, and before I blinked we were at the bottom, now walking sedately out into the parking lot. My head was whirling with questions, but I was more concerned with how my stomach was churning. Everything I thought I knew about life and the world and being in love with a fabulous woman had been turned on its ear. The abject depression I had experienced from the golden triumvirate of Sylvia's hatred, my father's death and my loss of self was a molehill beside this mountain.

She's not who I thought.

She's not _what_ I thought.

Everyone around me was still distracted. Kate and Bella were peering up at my bedroom window; both had their heads tilted as if listening. Eleazar was, as far as I could tell, watching for something. Vanessa was standing by Bella, holding her and watching her face intently. They all relaxed simultaneously, Bella turning to smile at Vanessa and hugging her back. I could feel Tanya relax beside me. They all knew what was happening in my apartment. Perhaps they had super hearing? Or did they all read minds? I didn't think so. The implication in Edward's words was that he was different even among these unusual people.

There had been a few moments in my room when I had clung to the hope that Tanya was another person who, like me, had been caught up in these inexplicable events. I knew the others were different – first because they were unbelievably strong and fast, but also because of their look. They were all unbelievably beautiful, perfectly symmetrical in features; each one of them an ideal specimen of the human form. Their pale skin and golden eyes further united their appearance. I recalled how I had gripped Tanya's cool hand in my apartment, and then I knew. Her heavenly beauty and golden eyes could not be discounted. Her skin was as unyielding as Randall's, although she was as cool in temperature as he was hot.

She's not _what_ I thought.

My mind refused to catalog the possible choices of what she was.

Carson and Edward appeared, dragging the unconscious Randall between them.

"I think Josh should ride in a separate vehicle," said Tanya to Edward and Carson. "Randall was supposed to kill him. The tight space might make it difficult to control the situation."

"He is asleep. I think I'll be all right unless he snores explosively on me," I said, a little more snappishly than I meant. It seemed like even the simple choices of where I would sleep and how I would travel had been taken from me.

"I think Josh, Tanya, Eleazar, and Bella should take Josh's car," Carson announced to the group. No one argued. "I want Bella away from Randall since she agitates him. I can't be certain the sedative will keep him out all the way to Wolfeboro. The rest of us will follow in the van."

I was about to mention that my car keys were still in my apartment, but Eleazar apparently had snagged them, and he opened the driver's door. I somewhat resentfully got in the backseat of my own car. Tanya climbed in from the other side. I was grateful for the empty space between us. I wasn't ready to tackle the issues of our relationship, if we even had one. I crossed my arms defensively.

She's not _what_ I thought.

My stomach lurched again.

There was a tap on Tanya's window, and Alice opened the door. "I can't ride with them," she said, jerking a thumb at the van. Tanya nodded sympathetically, and slid over until we were touching from shoulder to knee. Alice settled into the spot behind Eleazar, and leaned back against the seat. There was plenty of room in the huge van; what did Alice object to? Maybe they played music which offended her? Maybe she was too small to fight off Randall if he were to wake?

Now that I was tucked into the car which was now traveling rapidly through Boston, I could do one of two things for the trip back to Wolfeboro. I could try to analyze the insanity I had witnessed, or I could make an escape into sleep. I picked the latter, trying to ignore the source of my pain pressed tightly into my side.

I was enjoying a dream. Tanya and I were sitting in the hot tub, just talking. I was cracking silly jokes, and she was laughing. She had this charming laugh that bubbled up from deep in her chest while her eyes crinkled partway shut. I enjoyed finding new ways to make her laugh, just so I could hear it again and see that happy look on her face. Somehow, in the dream, she got serious, and was arguing with Edward.

"No, he's sleeping, Edward."

"I don't have much time; we have to leave for Boston in about a half hour to make that deadline."

"We can wait until after," pleaded Tanya. In my dream, the hot tub was gone now, and we were sitting near my desk in Bella Libri, except all the shelves were lined with scrolls rather than books. We were all in academic regalia.

"I started this. I'm not leaving you to clean up the mess I made." Edward was shaking a scroll at Tanya to emphasize his words.

I opened my eyes and found myself in the dark, tucked into a bed. I sat up, and in the dim light saw that I was back in my room in the Den. My head ached, and my back was unbelievably sore. I was still in the same clothes I had worn since yesterday morning. My door was cracked open, letting in a razor of light that cut through the room.

"Well, he's awake now. Let's not waste any more time." Edward was in the hallway, apparently arguing with Tanya. I hadn't entirely been dreaming.

"Josh? Can we come in?" Tanya poked her head in the door.

"Sure, why not?" I tried not to sound surly, but the painful events of the night were a sharp contrast to the dream I had been having. It was like feeling the pain again for the first time.

I turned on the bedside lamp, and the two of them entered the room as I blinked in the light. Edward leaned back against my dresser, and Tanya took the chair on my right.

"I know you have a lot of questions," began Edward. "I don't have time to answer them all immediately, but Tanya can provide answers to anything I miss. I wanted to make sure you heard from me before I had to leave town since I promised we would talk later."

"What is Randall, what are you, and what do I have to do with any of this?" I asked. The short time I had been asleep had distilled my questions to these three. Everything else was details, or personal. _Private._

Edward sighed and looked me straight in the eye. "You know that we're not human, and that Randall isn't either." He glanced over at Tanya; he looked almost hesitant to continue. "I am sorry. Acknowledging our true nature is traditionally forbidden. Telling you what we are amounts to a death sentence for you. Unfortunately, it's already too late for you. You've seen too much." He paused again. Just spit it out, man!

"We're vampires."

"I'm sorry. I think I just heard you say that you," I waved my hand around in a circle to show I meant him, Tanya, and their merry band of friends, "are vampires. That's ridiculous. Vampires are legends…myths…horror story fodder." At the same time I said this, I realized that his assertion was consistent with everything I had seen. They had demonstrated superhuman strength and speed. Randall's behavior needed no explanation since he was apparently a lunatic, but he had tried to bite into one of my veins.

Edward was nodding at me.

"You said you could read minds."

"Yes. I can hear your stream of consciousness. I can't go into your head and pick out memories or stored information." Ugh. I remembered our first meeting in Bella Libri, when I had been interested in Bella. His behavior took on a new light, and I flushed with embarrassment that I now knew he could hear. I decided to change the subject quickly.

"Randall is not the same as the rest of you," I stated. He was as handsome as the rest of them, but he had a different look. He was the only one with blue eyes, for example.

"He's a vampire-human hybrid. His mother was human, his father a vampire."

I closed my eyes, and for a brief moment, I saw myself as a cartoon character with a thought bubble coming up off my head. The bubble was empty. I suppressed an urge to laugh hysterically, coughing instead. When I opened my eyes, Edward had a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Suddenly, my mind seized upon his last words. "…_his father a vampire_." Nessie wasn't a vampire, but she too was something other than human. Her skin had a pink hue, and her eyes weren't the luminescent gold sported by Edward and his pals.

And, Edward couldn't possibly be old enough to have fathered a child as old as Nessie. Hell, Nessie looked at least my age, and Edward looked as though he had only just become old enough to borrow his father's razor. Yet Nessie had called Edward 'dad,' and he had instructed the others not to let Randall's teeth anywhere near _his daughter. _Was there any similarity between Nessie and Randall?

"Nessie is a hybrid as well. She is _truly_ my daughter." I wondered why I hadn't recognized their obvious relationship before. The familial resemblance between Edward and Vanessa was more telling than skin or eye color.

"_His mother was human_ …" What about Nessie's mother?

"Is Bella.…" It occurred to me that this was a personal question.

"Yes, she is Vanessa's mother. She had her when she was still human." That statement brought up more questions than I expected he had time to answer, and the questions in turn required more information than he would probably care for anyone else to know. _They had been together when Bella was human_. That piece of information stuck in my mind, and I tucked it away for further consideration.

"Have you decided what you're going to do with him?" I asked. The fury I had earlier about Randall escaping justice was now muted. The heat of the moment over, I no longer knew exactly what I felt.

"No, we don't know. We're having some heated discussions on that topic now. It's not clear-cut, the question of how to deal with him. He's very young, only about five years old. He's also severely mentally ill and far too powerful to leave with humans." Five? I was leaving that question alone. I wasn't sure if I wanted the answers, and I was certain Edward didn't have the time.

"That just leaves you with one more question to answer," I said, picking at the sheet still covering my lower half. "Why me."

"I honestly don't know. How long have you known Randall?"

"Around four months, maybe a bit longer. It was in the fall semester."

"Longer than I thought, then. It may be coincidence combined with bad luck; we don't know how many other humans have been involved. For example, Randall may have sent a girlfriend in to visit. If all she did was come into the bookstore and buy a book, thinking it was for her boyfriend, we would never have recognized that she was a threat. You might be the last in a long string of human pawns he's used to spy on us."

"My advisor has a thing for vampires in literature," I said slowly. "I may have been targeted simply because I was a student of hers and because she could be encouraged to have me work on that manuscript. I take it that it really does refer to vampires, then?"

"It does." Why not? The girl of my dreams was a vampire and my closest friend within the last year was a vampire-human hybrid psycho killer, so why not Renaissance literature on vampire philosophy? This actually gave me insight into Sylvia: was she possibly a demon or perhaps Hecate in the flesh?

"If Randall is sending people to spy on you, who does he work for?"

"This is rather harder to explain quickly." Edward paused and checked the clock. "The short version is that my family is locked in a conflict with another very powerful group of vampires. We have some philosophical differences."

"Efficacy of the blood of the beast?" I asked softly. My conversation with Carson and Tanya came back to me, including some rather offensive things I had said about vampires. Was it wrong to denigrate a minority if you don't believe the minority exists?

"I don't think Carson held it against you," said Edward, answering my unspoken question. "We choose not to consume the blood of humans, if we can help it. That sets us apart from the others."

He glanced at Tanya, his lips moving rapidly. He turned back to me. "I have to go. I'll be back later today, if everything goes smoothly, but I want to leave you with some idea of what you're facing. You know our secrets now, and have seen the proof with your own eyes. The other vampires who are discordant with our lifestyle will not allow you to live with that information in your head. We could just kill you, but I imagine that's not your preference. You could choose to live with us permanently, under our constant protection."

"So, death or prison, effectively," I said hollowly.

"I am sorry this happened. We didn't choose you to be our pawn; we've been trying like the devil to protect you from the others since we realized they were using you."

"I didn't thank you for that, yet," I said. "Your timing was excellent."

"Not really. I would have liked to have been there sooner. I heard you from a few miles out, and I realized it was a race against time. Oh, and sorry about your window. We'll get it fixed." Edward was matter-of-fact about his superhuman abilities. I recalled him (as I knew now) bursting through my third story bedroom window like a high-speed bullet.

I pondered that for a moment. "I appreciate the help, although I don't really know why you saved me tonight if you knew I was going to be stuck with this…choice."

"Something may work out. There are those of us who would say that any choice is better than none," he said cryptically. He turned to Tanya again, seemingly communicating without sound, and then he left.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," said Tanya, her voice containing a note of sadness. "I know you must have a lot more questions about what we are and what you might be facing." I noticed she didn't bring up the future of our relationship.

"Why are you here?" I asked bluntly, looking down at my hands twisting the sheet. "Not here in my room right now, but why are you here in Wolfeboro?" I couldn't keep a hint of belligerence out of my voice.

"Edward called," she answered reluctantly. "He said that there was a situation. He needed me to come and watch you. They didn't want to leave you unprotected while they investigated what Randall was doing."

The revelation that she was basically my babysitter was another punch to the gut.

"So how much was the truth? Are you really from Alaska? Do you really write trashy romance novels?" I didn't ask for the one answer I really wanted. _Do you really care?_

"Yes to both." She paused. "You haven't looked at me since your apartment, Josh."

"You're not who I thought. You're not what I thought you were," I whispered. It was painful to say out loud what I had been thinking since Boston. I couldn't look up.

"I wasn't faking it," she answered in a low voice. "I enjoyed being with you." That was telling. She enjoyed being with me. Not "I care about you" or "I really like you" or "I'm falling for you, too."

"You must think I'm an idiot," I said in frustration. "Stupid human boy falls for unbelievably hot vampire. How many of your friends have been laughing at this?"

"We're not laughing at you. It's not like that."

I decided to try some questions which were not as emotionally charged. "How old are you? I mean, I know that Edward and Bella don't look old enough for Vanessa to be their daughter."

"We don't age, that's true," she said. "I was turned when I was nineteen."

"And that was how long ago?"

"I can't believe a southern gentleman such as yourself would ask a lady a question so impertinent."

"Let's say, for the sake of argument, that I'm a cad and a rake." She laughed, and the sound was beautiful, musical, and unbelievably painful.

"No one could call you a cad, Josh." I cringed internally. There were a few women who had called me worse.

Tanya stopped laughing. "I was born very close to the year 1000 A.D. I don't know precisely. Even the wealthy of my village weren't educated enough to have known the year."

I absorbed this information. One more shock to the system. No big deal. I was in love with someone who could have been Charlemagne's mistress. Well, not quite. William the Conquerer's mistress.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" I asked, still looking down. It had to be asked. I needed to know. Edward had opened up this question himself when he said they didn't feed on humans if they could help it.

"Thousands."

That should have been it. I shouldn't need any other information. I suppose it was a measure of how far I had fallen for Tanya that I was still in the room. She was a mass murderer. I swallowed hard, but could find no words. The silence dragged.

"It has been over a hundred years since the last."

"I guess that makes it all better," I retorted. Tanya sucked in a breath sharply.

"I deserve that. I know it. I can't change my past. All I can do is continue existing and continue trying to maintain my principles. I believe in caring about others. I believe in overcoming my natural instincts."

"And your natural instincts are?"

"This is not what I wanted to talk about."

"Humor me."

"Fine." Tanya turned slightly, I could see from the corner of my eye. She was no longer watching me. I shifted my head, and I saw she was focused away from me on the far wall of the room. "I can smell your blood. I can hear your heartbeat. If you were frightened of me, the adrenaline surge would only add to the…flavor. Each moment we're together, I am surrounded by your aroma. I feel a burn which takes my constant attention. Early on, I would not have been able to resist. The burn would have triggered a sensory overload of sorts. Once a vampire begins to hunt, it is almost impossible to stop. It takes years, typically, to achieve the control necessary to view a human as something other than prey."

I could see this admission had cost her, but I didn't understand why. Perhaps it was just embarrassing to admit you were different.

"I think I can recognize a vampire, now. I see the similarities in your eyes and skin. I don't understand how Jake and Leah and Seth figure into all this. They're obviously not the same."

"They have their own secret, but you are right. They're not vampires. I don't think their secret is mine to tell. Perhaps they will tell you."

She wasn't what I thought, but now that I knew the truth, it was far worse than I had imagined. I didn't know what the worst part was. It was a toss-up between Tanya being a mass murderer and the revelation that she didn't care about me. I remembered her words to me from our fight: "_I told you, I'm not good for you. Telling you why would make things so much worse. I can't even describe how bad it would become._"

"I guess I know why I haven't been alone all week," I started. It was all becoming clear: Seth walking me to the bookstore; Leah going running with me; dinners out with Edward or Jake and Nessie; a party attended nearly entirely by vampires. A party put on by vampires trying to keep the human safe. If that didn't make the blood run cold, I don't know what would. "I don't know if you can accommodate me, but I think I would like to be left somewhat alone now."

"I'm not going far. All you have to do is call for me." Tanya turned her head back toward me, and I looked quickly down at my hands.

"I just have to think about the whole death or prison thing, okay? At the moment, neither choice seems very appealing."

**AN2: What do you think Josh is going decide, and what do you think Edward was telling Tanya that Josh couldn't hear? Next: the fight about Randall, and maybe a return to Boston. Boy, Emmett is going to get highway hypnosis driving back and forth!**


	24. Brother

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Once again, I am behind my planned update schedule, but this chapter has had some major surgery. I would like to thank the skilled word surgeon edward-bella-harry-ginny who solved a major issue I was having as well as a score of minor ones. Justine Lark very kindly pointed out plot points that made no sense. Sometimes my sense of drama overtakes my sense of logic.**

**If you haven't done so, please read Justine's new fic "Bedtime Stories"; it's fantastic, featuring Edward, Bella, and little Renesmee! All three of us have entries in bronzehairedgirl620's Epic T-rated Contest in memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal – please read and review the stories; I put a link to the C2 on my profile. Voting will probably be in early June.**

_From Ch. 22: "Amun tried to lure me away this week," I said. "If I hadn't gotten suspicious about the manuscript, if you hadn't whaled on me about these trips, if Josh weren't on Spring Break this week, this is the week they would have taken out Bella."_

"_This plan of theirs with the plane – that was put together very quickly. It had to have been implemented after I made the reservations," added Jasper. "If they weren't sure you were on that plane, Bella was the target. Bella was the original target."_

_We all knew why. Without Bella's shield, Alec and Jane could waltz into Wolfeboro and pick us off at will. There would be no need for subterfuge. There would be no way for us to hide._

Ch. 24. Brother

After Dad and Uncle Jasper decided that the Volturi were after Mom, the ride back to Wolfeboro was quiet and short. Randall continued to sleep between Dad and Grandpa. We were going very fast because Aunt Alice saw we could get home without tripping anyone's radar, and no officers were patrolling our exact route. Dad saw her vision with her, and he shared it with Uncle Emmett. It was amazing how fast we were moving, and for a moment I thought about opening up the bikes like this with Jake, but Dad tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned to look at him, he was wagging one index finger and shaking his head. It wasn't like he could stop us.

"Try me, sweetheart," he answered. He was smiling, though.

I turned back with a toss of my curls and crossed my arms, pretending to be annoyed. It was a little trick I had picked up from Aunt Rose. _Mom was younger in years than I am now when you married her._

Of course, I knew what his answers would be. "Your mom was never babied by eight vampires and a werewolf"; and "I never let her ride motorcycles fast, either"; and "She was very respectful to Grandpa Charlie." I wiggled my head a little with each sentence, and I heard him chuckle behind me. He knew I wasn't serious.

I sighed. I was distressed about Randall. He was like me, but so different. I could hear the flutter of his heart, so similar to my own. When I touched his cheek, giving him the story of our family, his skin was like mine, hard yet hot. He hadn't chosen evil. Dad thought he had been trained through brainwashing techniques, what amounted to torture. What would I have done if I had been treated like that from birth? I could remember every moment of my life, and there was not a single time that I hadn't known I was loved.

I thought of how I had been at six, nearly grown but nowhere near mature. I could certainly admit that, now. I had tested every boundary Mom and Dad had set for me, including the ones set for my safety and our family's secrecy. I still couldn't believe all the things I had done out of sheer idiocy. I had known so much more than your average teenager, thanks to a different brain structure and all that early studying, but I had many of the same emotions. Grandpa had once told me that my bad temper had practically cured Dad of his. I still didn't believe him; Dad could still get plenty angry. The look on his face tonight after Randall had shoved me and lunged after Mom was classic Dad.

Uncle Em pulled the van into the driveway at Grandpa and Grandma's house, and Kate and I jumped out of the sliding van door. Grandpa and Dad dragged Randall out of the van.

Grandma Esme and Auntie Rosalie came quickly off the front porch where they had been waiting for us to park. Grandma stopped in concern when she saw that Grandpa was holding Randall. Aunt Rose practically jumped into Uncle Em's arms, and he twirled her around. They usually weren't that silly, but I knew she had been worried about how the night would go. Aunt Rose hid her "softer" feelings better than most, but she was like my second mom. I could always tell when she wasn't feeling right.

"Jasper, would you gather everyone and plan what we're going to do to meet this 8 a.m. deadline?" asked Grandpa.

"Sure, Carson."

"Nessie, I'd like you to come with us to help out if Randall wakes," Grandpa told me.

"Okay. I'm going to call Jake first, is that all right?"

"That will be fine. Randall may not wake up for another half hour or so. We'll be in the basement." Grandpa smiled at me, and then he and Dad took Randall into the house.

I pulled out my cell and called Jake.

"Ness? Are you back?" His voice was eager and relieved but sleepy.

"We just got back to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Were you up?"

"I ran a patrol after you guys left. I wanted to make sure Esme was okay. I went to bed about an hour ago."

"I have to stay here for a bit. They have some work for me, and we have a deadline."

"I'll be there in sec." His breathing sounded heavier, as if he were already running at top speed. The screen of my phone showed the call had ended.

I had a warm feeling through my middle. I didn't know how he could always know what I needed, but he did. If he had asked me if he should have come over, of course I would have told him to go ahead and get more sleep. Hence, he didn't ask. Dad was right about me. I had gone from being spoiled by eight vampires to being the princess for one unbelievably hot werewolf. I was beginning to comprehend emotionally, not just intellectually, how lucky I was. It was too easy to take everything for granted.

I listened carefully and heard Dad and Grandpa talking from the basement. Randall was still sleeping, so apparently they didn't need me yet. I did hear a rustling in the woods, probably Mom, Eleazar, Aunt Alice, Carmen, and Garrett returning from my humble B&B. Tanya and Josh were staying behind at the Den.

A moment later, the group emerged from the woods followed by Jake in wolf form. I ran to him and hugged his giant furry neck. "Missed you, you big lunk," I said into his fur, and for my trouble, I got a sloppy lick on the ear. I noticed he had a pair of sweat pants stowed, so I backed off to let him transform back. We had a room here at Grandma and Grandpa's with extra clothes for both of us, but Jake still preferred to carry the sweats on him.

"Hey, you," he said, emerging from the trees again. He messed up my hair and then wrapped an arm around me. We started together to walk back to the house. "How were the double trips to Boston?"

"Mmm. Well, we caught the hybrid."

"I heard. I also heard he wants to kill Bella and he shoved you into the wall."

"Someone has a big mouth, and I'm guessing she's short with spiky black hair."

"That's what I like about you, Ness. You're smart and a good guesser."

"_That_'s what you like about me?"

"Did he hurt you?" asked Jake, all joking gone. He was actually rigid with anger!

"No. I was surprised, that's all." I stopped him from continuing across the lawn and put my hand on his cheek. I showed Jake everything from the attack with no embellishment.

"I still want a piece of him. I can't believe Edward let you touch that piece of garbage."

"Hey." I stroked his cheek softly. Jake did not get angry, as a rule; I was the one with the temper. He was occasionally annoyed, and sometimes he had to make a hard decision as Alpha which would make him serious, but rarely was he truly angry. "I'm fine. They needed me to use my gift with Randall. I was glad to help."

Jake looked down into my eyes. "I know. Alice says you did a great job." I felt the tension drain out of his shoulders. "I just didn't like you off in danger without me, even if you had Ma and Pa Bloodsucker with you."

"I love the nice things you say about my parents," I said teasingly as I kissed his neck. Really, that was as high as I could reach unless he bent over.

"I'm being serious, Ness."

"I know. I don't want to be serious right now. I have about five more minutes before I have to go back in and see him again."

"See who? The hybrid guy?"

"Dad and Grandpa want my help in working with him. He responds to me better than to verbal conversation."

"I don't like it." Jake paused, his dark brown eyes looking down into mine.

"But?"

"But I know you need to do this. And you're the only one who can."

"I think you might be right," I said slowly. "Jake, there's something about this guy Randall that really bothers me. He's only five, Dad thinks, and he's been trained by vampires to be some sort of spy. They didn't even _name_ him."

"You like him?"

"No, I…I think I feel sorry for him. I don't know. He's like me, you know?"

"No, he's more like Nahuel." Jake's tone was darker. I didn't smile, although I wanted to. Nahuel and Jake were not close.

"Well, right, obviously he's more like Nahuel than he is like me. But he's more like me than he is like you or like Dad."

"Like, I don't know, like," teased Jake. He got serious again. "You're right. He's a hybrid, like you, and you've only met one other. You need to do this. I understand." He kissed me on the top of my head.

We both turned our heads to the house when we heard Dad call my name. "That's my cue," I said. We walked up the steps to the porch and into the house.

"I'll crash out in our room. I think everything at the Den is fine for now." Jake yawned so widely that his jaws popped. "Ow." He rubbed his jaw and grinned at me.

"I'll wake you in a few?"

"Sure." Jake kissed me again, and then he went up the stairs while I went down to the basement.

There were two main rooms in the basement. One was Uncle Jasper's computer room, and the other was a more conventional rec room with a pool table and the big screen TV for gaming. There was at one time a ping pong table as well, but vampire ping pong tended to get out of control. Grandma had put it into "toy time out" indefinitely. When I entered the rec room, I saw that the pool table had been pushed out of the way; it had joined the derelict ping pong table on the far wall. Uncle Jas and Uncle Em had Randall between them on the couch, while Dad and Grandpa were discussing whether to keep him partially sedated or not.

"I don't think you need drugs," interjected Uncle Jas. "I can control him."

"He's waking," said Dad. He and Grandpa moved behind the couch.

"I want to see if he's a little more lucid in a more relaxed situation," murmured Grandpa. "Just talk to him normally at first, Nessie."

I pulled over a chair and sat a few feet in front of him. Uncle Em nodded, indicating that I was safe at that distance. "Can you hear me, Randall?" Randall's eyelids fluttered, and he peered at me groggily. I had never been sedated, and I wondered how it felt to be involuntarily put to sleep. Grandpa had wondered whether human drugs would work on me, but it hadn't been worth the experiment to find out.

"Randall?" I asked again.

"Hi," he said. "How long was I asleep?"

"Not long. Just a few hours." _Dad? He sounds so different?_ I didn't want to break the rapport I had going with Randall, so I didn't look up.

"I remember you," he said, grinning. "I'm sorry if I hurt you when I jumped." Something about the way he was speaking with me sounded like…guys with pick-up lines. He was _flirting_ with me. He actually came across really smooth. Practiced.

Randall smiled at me, confidently at first, then a little less so as he took in more of his surroundings. When he took in Uncle Jas and Uncle Em holding his arms, his eyes went wide with panic. The tendons of his arms and neck flexed as he struggled, but he gave up quickly. I assumed the memories of who we all were had come back. I couldn't imagine not recognizing where I was, but I had never had drugs, either.

"It's okay. We're not going to hurt you," I said softly, trying to maintain eye contact with him.

"Where am I?" he asked, and his voice was very different from before. He had sounded like a confident man, but now he sounded like a scared kid.

"You're at our house in New Hampshire."

"Do you know where Sarah is?"

"She's in Boston," I told him.

"I think she's going to be mad at me," he said in a small voice, looking down into his lap. "Don't make me go back," he whispered.

Randall continued to look down, and I looked up at Dad and Grandpa in anguish. We were taking him back in just a few hours.

_Dad this is awful_, I thought. _We don't_ have_ to take him back, do we?_

Dad looked at me with concern, but his intentions seemed clear. Returning the hybrid would save untold humans and protect the family.

_He's so young and sad._

Dad gave me a look, and gestured toward Randall, and I returned my attention to him. He was slightly hunched over, and still looking down.

"Randall?"

"Name's not Randall," he responded petulantly without looking up.

"What do you want me to call you?" I asked him.

"I like Victor," he said shyly.

"Okay, Victor." I glanced up at Dad, who was frowning at the back of Randall/Victor's head. He looked up at me, and motioned for me to leave the room with him.

"I'm going to leave for a few minutes, Victor, but I'll be right back." Dad, Grandpa, and I left the room, and, for that matter, the whole house, moving at my maximum speed.

"He can't hear us from here," Dad said, his head cocked sideways. He was listening to Randall's complex mind. "The others can hear, though." Dad was speaking at high frequency. Time was of the essence.

"Victor?" I asked him, wondering how Randall had come up with the name.

"He thinks Demetri is his father, and Victor is a Russian name." My Dad's voice was flat and unemotional.

"Oh." I pondered that. He picked out a name for himself to honor someone he thought was his father.

"Nessie, remember that secret we've been keeping since you were two?" Dad asked, a serious look on his face.

The memory flooded me, making my palms sweat and my stomach flip; my face was hot and I knew I was blushing.

"What do you mean?" asked Grandpa, clearly surprised by the question and my response.

"It was supposed to be our secret, Dad," I said unsteadily, speaking at human speed. I actually felt tears starting to sting my eyes.

"I think we need to share that secret now," Dad answered, pulling me into a hug. I buried my face in his chest. Hugs from Dad could cure a lot of things.

"Okay," I sighed, keeping my face pressed into his shirt. "You tell it, though."

"When Nessie was two years and a month, Esme caught her throwing her broccoli away in the garbage," Dad explained to Grandpa. "Nessie put her hand on her and lied to Esme. She gave Esme the memory of Nessie eating the broccoli, and then cleaning off her plate at the sink. It wasn't a big change of memory, just little nudges about how it actually happened. I almost laughed when she did it, except when she was done, that was Esme's new memory of what happened."

"Dad took me out to the woods and made me promise never to do it again," I said. That was putting it mildly. My memory was excellent, and I could remember every word Dad had said, the look on his face, and the sick feeling I had the whole time. I had cried for a long time, but Dad had told me he still loved me and that he knew I wouldn't do it again.

Grandpa was obviously stunned, but then regained his equilibrium. "You can change a vampire's memories?"

"I only did it the one time," I insisted. I tried not to think about it, ever. It felt wrong, probably because Dad had impressed that on me.

"Can we try just a little experiment?" Grandpa asked eagerly, back to our high frequency speech.

"Like what?" I said reluctantly.

"Well, I don't know," he said in puzzlement. "Something simple, I would think, and something which wouldn't interfere with anything important. Esme has been wearing a light brown dress today. Convince me that it was a red dress."

That seemed simple enough, but in fact it wasn't simple at all. That would require me to replace every moment that Grandpa had seen Grandma throughout the day and evening. Since I hadn't been with them very much, it would be easier to add a memory that she had changed into a red dress and that was what she wore when we returned from Boston. I thought about it carefully for a moment more, remembering how it had felt the first time I had done it. It felt different from when I projected real memories; there was a pushing I had done to make it convincing.

"Are you sure, Grandpa?"

"Go ahead," he answered, that child-like look on his face. Few things made Grandpa happier than our family, but exploring new information was one of them.

I pressed my hand to his cheek, and gave him a memory of our group returning from Boston with Randall. I left every detail I could recall exactly the same, but when Grandma came down from the porch, she was wearing one of Aunt Rose's red evening gowns and red high heels.

"That is fascinating," Dad said in wonder. "I can see the projection from two different points of view when you do that. I saw what you were doing and how Carson integrated it with his own memory. Something you're doing makes your subject relive their original memory."

"I can still remember the brown dress," commented Grandpa in confusion. "Esme had on the brown dress all day until we got home an hour ago."

"I didn't think I could change all of your memories of Grandma for the whole day," I told him. "I don't even know what they all are. I only put the memory of the red dress in for when we just got home."

"Just to be sure, Esme was actually wearing the brown dress when we got home?" asked Grandpa, his brow furrowed.

"Yes, Grandpa." I smiled at him, but I couldn't ignore the feeling of guilt. This was part of my gift I had hoped never to use again. I looked at Dad, and knew he would understand.

"Carson, you remember telling Nessie to give you the new memory, but now you can't recall the old memory at all?" Dad asked.

"Intellectually, I know it must be false, but I can't recall it any other way," answered Grandpa. "I remember Esme in a red evening dress. It was actually quite nice."

"Nessie's vision is from her point-of-view, but her gift somehow integrates it with your own memory," commented Dad.

"The human brain has the capability of glossing over small inconsistencies, like the blind spot," said Grandpa. "I didn't think a perfect vampire memory could be altered. This is really fascinating, even more so since you're unaffected, Edward."

"I think I have to be touching you to have that effect," I said. I rubbed my hands on my jeans. "I think if I tried to give you a completely new memory, something which wasn't related to memories you already had, it just wouldn't work properly. It would just come up as a vision like my usual projections."

"You didn't sound the same when you did it, either," Dad said to me. "There was another component to your thinking when you put the manufactured memory in his head."

I was more than a little disturbed by the discussion. This was a part of me I had been hiding or ignoring for 18 years, and now they were talking about it like it was a parlor trick. "Don't you think you should get to the point, Dad? I'm sure you didn't bring this up for the fun of it."

"I want you to replace Randall's memories of Josh being present tonight. I want you to arrange it so that the Volturi won't know that Josh witnessed vampire behavior. If possible, I want all evidence that the Denalis were involved replaced as well."

"I don't think that will work; Victor was with Josh before _you_ even got there. I don't think I can manufacture a replacement memory out of nothing."

"I can monitor whether it works or not."

"Dad. It's not going to work."

"Okay, how about if you change it so Josh never regains consciousness after hitting his head and someone takes him out of the apartment to protect him?"

"If I replace Tanya with Aunt Rose in the memory that might make sense since Aunt Rose is a doctor." This was sounding a little better, although I still wasn't sure what the point was.

"What are you planning, Dad?"

"I'm not entirely certain, but there are advantages to having Josh protected and the Denali's involvement secret." Dad was concerned about something. This was a lot of effort to go through for something he was uncertain about.

"Josh was still with Randall before we got there," pointed out Grandpa.

"I hope we can convince the Volturi that Josh didn't witness anything of importance and that he has trauma-induced amnesia. It's fairly common to lose memories of the time right before a head injury."

"You're expecting Victor to tell the Volturi everything that's happened tonight," I stated.

"Obviously. One of his jobs was to spy on us. I expect that Aro will touch him and extract everything he can from this encounter."

"Do you think my false memories can fool Aro?" Memories of Aro and the other Volturi had been featured in my nightmares for several years when I was younger. I liked the idea that I could in some way fight Aro directly, protecting us from his power.

"Yes, I am almost certain. He touched Alice, and he couldn't extract the human memories she can't remember."

"Dad, you could avoid all of this by not letting them have Victor back." I decided that I wasn't going to use the name Randall again. That was the name they invented for his "evil" persona. He wanted to be Victor, the boy with a father.

"Nessie, it isn't that simple."

_What about political asylum? Doesn't he deserve our sympathy, our compassion? You're taking care of Josh, why not take care of Victor?_

"You saw what they did tonight. You saw the news coverage. They have no compunction about killing humans. None. They take innocent lives for no reason other than they covet me and your aunt. Victor is hardly innocent."

"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" I was reaching, I knew.

Mom and Rosalie were immediately on the lawn with us.

"That wasn't fair, Nessie," said Mom.

"He didn't choose this life!" I insisted. "What if I was stuck with them? What would you do?"

"He is not you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black," Dad said sharply. "I will not have this argument with you. We have at most another two hours before we go back to Boston. We have no choice. This will protect us, Josh, the Denalis, and who knows how many others."

Aunt Rose patted my shoulder. "He's right Ness. This is the only way."

"Grandpa?" If anyone would agree with me, it was Grandpa.

"I have to agree with your father, Nessie. But that doesn't mean we forget him." Grandpa looked at Dad, and I knew some unspoken discussion was going on between them.

"Please, Nessie. You're the only one who can offer this protection to Josh." Dad was speaking more softly now.

"I won't let you forget him," I warned.

"I wasn't planning to forget him. We'll do whatever we can."

I nodded at Dad. "Okay. I'm ready to try."

We all zipped back into the house. Dad, Grandpa, and I returned to the basement, but I couldn't help feeling I was betraying Victor.

* * *

I was racing back to the Den with the rest of the Denalis and getting lost in my thoughts of the past few hours. Nessie was as successful as could be hoped for in modifying Randall's memories of the night. I had promised Josh that we would talk when we got to Wolfeboro, and this was the first free moment I had.

I had done what I could to protect Josh from the Volturi; I only hoped that it would be enough. They had already shown themselves willing to kill him. I hoped I could assess their interest in him when we met in a few hours.

_Edward, you know that Demetri may already know we're involved?_ Eleazar was running beside me; everyone else was in front of us.

I nodded. I had done the best I could do for the Denalis, as well. I hoped that this mysterious woman, I assumed Sarah, would not go to Josh's apartment for reconnaissance like we had done at Randall's. I imagined Felix and Demetri knew our individual scents as we knew theirs. Luckily, minds weren't like scents to Demetri. He couldn't just sniff out every mind around him like I could; he had to look for a particular mind and home in on it. I was hoping he was focused on me and on Alice to the extent that he had little time to search for everyone else who might be involved.

The short run was over quickly, and I mentally reviewed what I needed to share with Josh.

Once in the Den, I walked down the hall to Josh's room. Tanya stood sentry at his door, arms crossed.

"It's time to tell him everything, Tanya." I could hear Josh was dreaming, and it was about Tanya. Surprisingly, it was a chaste dream. He was not simply seduced by her sensuality. He _loved_ her.

"No, he's sleeping, Edward." Her mind was fiercely protective. _She _loved him_ back._

"I don't have much time; we have to leave for Boston in about a half hour to make that deadline."

"We can wait until after," pleaded Tanya.

"I started this. I'm not leaving you to clean up the mess I made." There were so many little things I could have done differently to protect Josh. The fact that Tanya had been watching him when he escaped back to Boston did not make this any less my problem. I heard Josh's mind rouse slowly from its dream state.

"Well, he's awake now. Let's not waste any more time." Tanya looked at me with anger, then resignation.

_Under no circumstances are you to offer to turn him. We will make this work for him as a human. He is getting that Ph.D. if I have to babysit him every minute for the rest of his life. _

I nodded. I could sympathize with that opinion, but I thought there was more going on with her.

_Can't you find another explanation for him, something that doesn't include vampires?_

I rolled my eyes in answer.

"Josh? Can we come in?" Tanya asked, cracking the door open further and looking in.

"Sure, why not?" Josh's voice crackled from sleep. I could tell he was peeved and hurt. Tanya's rejection of him was the uppermost thing in his mind. We entered his room, Tanya sitting near Josh on a chair. I leaned against his dresser, close to the door.

"I know you have a lot of questions," I began. "I don't have time to answer them all immediately, but Tanya can provide answers to anything I miss. I wanted to make sure you heard from me before I had to leave town since I promised we would talk later."

_What did you say earlier about not leaving me with your mess? I don't like the way this is going. We could still wait. Just tell him you're too busy. Tell him to go back to sleep._

"What is Randall, what are you, and what do I have to do with any of this?" Josh asked abruptly. He didn't really want more than that from me. He wanted time to talk alone with Tanya. Tanya was taken aback by his questions.

I sighed. There were so many people's desires and needs to balance. This discussion was somewhat unwelcome, coming as it did after my argument with Nessie about Randall. I wasn't necessarily the best person to negotiate everyone's feelings aloud even if I usually heard them silently. I looked Josh in the eye. "You know that we're not human, and that Randall isn't either."

_Edward! What about, I don't know, adrenaline rushes or something?_ Yeah, denial had worked well with Bella. I glanced over at Tanya, one eyebrow raised. _Right, the truth. Sorry._

I turned back to Josh. "I am sorry. Acknowledging our true nature is traditionally forbidden. Telling you what we are amounts to a death sentence for you. Unfortunately, it's already too late for you. You've seen too much."

_Are you sure we have to, Edward?_

_Just spit it out, man!_ Josh was becoming impatient.

"We're vampires."

_Oh, God, Edward. Just dump it on him._

"I'm sorry. I think I just heard you say that you are vampires," said Josh, waving at me and Tanya. "That's ridiculous. Vampires are legends…myths…horror story fodder." Josh began to put together all he had seen from me and from Randall, from Tanya. Everything clicked into place for him.

_He hates it. He won't accept us, Edward. He won't accept me._

I nodded at Josh, ignoring Tanya's melodramatic emotional breakdown.

"You said you could read minds."

"Yes. I can hear your stream of consciousness. I can't go into your head and pick out memories or stored information." Josh thought back to the first time we met and the inappropriate thoughts he'd had about Bella. He blushed, and Tanya reacted slightly to Josh's blush. That was interesting. She wasn't thirsty, just attracted.

_You weren't kidding when you said you would tell him everything, Edward. I'm impressed._ I was about to break my century-old tradition of not hitting women (discounting Victoria), but settled for gritting my teeth.

"Randall is not the same as the rest of you," Josh blurted out. He had recognized the vampire "look" and realized that Randall didn't share our physical characteristics.

"He's a vampire-human hybrid. His mother was human, his father a vampire." I wondered if Randall was correct in believing Demetri was his father. It seemed likely, based upon visions Alice had once had, but I hadn't been able to discern why he believed it was so.

Josh, meanwhile, had hit some point where lack of sleep and repeated shocks had made him giddy, and a geyser of hysterical laughter threatened to erupt from him. He coughed hard in an attempt to control himself, and I couldn't help but smile at his droll internal monologue. I didn't like the options I was going to have to offer him.

In his fight for control, Josh realized that Nessie, like Randall, differed from the rest of us. He considered her appearance and the various hints she and I had dropped in his apartment about being father and daughter. He was in disbelief that I could be her father, considering my appearance put me in my late teens, whereas Nessie had settled in her early twenties. Years of frustration over not being able to publicly proclaim my own daughter bubbled up.

"Nessie is a hybrid as well. She is _truly_ my daughter."

_You know, it is still cute to hear you talk about Nessie._

"_His mother was human_ …" _What about Nessie's mother? _Josh had realized that Renesmee must have a human mother, and Bella was not human.

"Is Bella.…" _Ah, too personal. What if vampires sleep around a lot? What if Edward…_ I didn't want to wait to hear the end of _that_ thought, and I jumped back into the conversation.

_Be very careful, Edward. Remember what I told you. No option to turn._

"Yes, she is Vanessa's mother. She had her when she was still human."

Josh's mouth made an "o" of surprise. _They had been together when Bella was human_. The look he gave me was more appraising, and you could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. The thoughts cut off in that strange way Josh's mind could close a door. He returned to considering Randall.

"Have you decided what you're going to do with him?" This was a question to be avoided. Josh wasn't as adamant about vengeance, or perhaps justice, as he had been, although I doubted he would have agreed with Nessie's point of view. I knew that Carlisle remained unconvinced that we would have to turn Randall over to the Volturi. He still hoped for a miraculous event, although he hadn't wanted to say that aloud in front of the others.

"No, we don't know," I answered. Well, not fully. "We've been having some heated discussions on that topic now. It's not clear-cut, the question of how to deal with him. He's very young, only about five years old. He's also severely mentally ill and far too powerful to leave with humans."

"That just leaves you with one more question to answer," Josh asked, fidgeting nervously. "Why me."

"I honestly don't know. How long have you known Randall?" This was something I didn't understand either.

"Around four months, maybe a bit longer. It was in the fall semester." Flashes of meetings with other people and visits to nightclubs ran rapidly through Josh's mind.

"Longer than I thought, then. It may be coincidence combined with bad luck; we don't know how many other humans have been involved. For example, Randall may have sent a girlfriend in to visit. If all she did was come into the bookstore and buy a book, thinking it was for her boyfriend, we would never have recognized that she was a threat. You might be the last in a long string of human pawns he's used to spy on us." That was a short summary of the hours of arguments I had held with Jasper.

"My advisor has a thing for vampires in literature," Josh deliberated. "I may have been targeted simply because I was a student of hers and because she could be encouraged to have me work on that manuscript. I take it that it really does refer to vampires, then?"

"It does."

"If Randall is sending people to spy on you, who does he work for?"

"This is rather harder to explain quickly."

_He doesn't need to know details about the Volturi, not if he is going to stay human. Look at the trouble it caused with you and Bella. Please, Edward._

I checked the time, and then continued. "The short version is that my family is locked in a conflict with another very powerful group of vampires. We have some philosophical differences."

"Efficacy of the blood of the beast?" Josh murmured. _Oh, crap. What did I say to Carson? Something about the soulless undead? Was it wrong to denigrate a minority if you don't believe the minority exists?_

"I don't think Carson held it against you," I assured him. In fact, he had been fascinated by Josh's work. "We choose not to consume the blood of humans, if we can help it. That sets us apart from the others."

I was out of time. The others would be picking me up at the front door in just a few moments; I could already hear them approaching the Den.

"They're on their way to get me," I told Tanya at vampire speed. "You should rethink your approach with Josh; he may be in shock over what's happened tonight, but he's a good guy. He cares for you, but you hurt him tonight. I'm going to do everything I can to keep him out of the Volturi's hands, but we both know that may not go well. Either he stays with you and is somewhat protected, or he goes free and he's a target. I'm going to lay out his options. Are you certain that you don't want to discuss becoming a vampire? He would eventually be able to protect himself."

_No. Absolutely not. _

"He's already thought of it. He knows Bella was human."

_He doesn't know details, and he won't hear them from us._

I addressed Josh. "I have to go. I'll be back later today, if everything goes smoothly, but I want to leave you with some idea of what you're facing. You know our secrets now, and have seen the proof with your own eyes. The other vampires who are discordant with our lifestyle will not allow you to live with that information in your head. We could just kill you, but I imagine that's not your preference. You could choose to live with us permanently, under our constant protection."

"So, death or prison, effectively."

"I am sorry this happened. We didn't choose you to be our pawn; we've been trying like the devil to protect you from the others since we realized they were using you."

"I didn't thank you for that, yet," Josh offered. "Your timing was excellent."

"Not really. I would have liked to have been there sooner. I heard you from a few miles out, and I realized it was a race against time. Oh, and sorry about your window. We'll get it fixed." I was treated to a visual of me bursting through Josh's window to tackle Randall.

"I appreciate the help, although I don't really know why you saved me tonight if you knew I was going to be stuck with this…choice," Josh said, gratitude tempered with bitterness. He was actually more gracious than Bella after I had prevented her from being crushed by a van. Of course, I had lied through my teeth to her about it.

"Something may work out," I told him. "There are those of us who would say that any choice is better than none." Bella had been faced with very similar choices, although the entire package hadn't been dumped in her lap at once. I would like to think that it had turned out well, in the long run.

I said my good-byes to Tanya at vampire speed. "The van is almost here for me. We'll do what we can to protect Josh and your family; I'll do my best to determine what they know of your involvement. If you get the call from us, protect the pack and take care of Josh."

_It won't come to that. They wouldn't try to attack you without the entire guard, especially not now when they know how powerful your family is._

"I hope you're right. If it doesn't go well, we could all be gone. Jake's coming with us, too."

**AN2: Okay, well, you might have noticed there were some rather strange developments in this chapter. I don't necessarily like stories where new aspects to an established character's gift are invented, but this made sense to me. Renesmee is very young at the end of BD. I can believe that the extent of her talent might not be known at that time. I don't think she was a juvenile delinquent, but I do think she was a spoiled kid who may have pushed boundaries. I also think Edward and Bella were responsible parents who didn't let her get away with it!**

**So, Randall/Victor isn't as evil as you might have once hoped. Trust me; the real bad guys are coming up soon.**


	25. Talk

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Thanks to all who read and all who review! I'm approaching 200!**

**Big giant thanks to edward-bella-harry-ginny who reads and corrects this story. She's great!**

**The voting will soon begin in bronzehairedgirl620's Epic T-rated Contest in memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal – please read and review the stories; I put a link to the C2 on my profile. I collaborated on one with ebhg: Masen and Swan: The FBI's Most Unwanted. **

**Round one: June 22nd-26th. All entries will be included here.**

Round two: June 29th-July 3rd. The top half (30-40 entries) from the first round will be included here.

Round three: July 6th-10th. The top half (20-30 entries) from the second round will be included here, and the top three winners will be determined.

**The Cold War has been nominated for a Sparkle Award for Best Post-Breaking Dawn. Voting has already begun and will continue through July 31. Most Unwanted is also nominated for Best One-Shot and Best Collaboration. You can find instructions on voting on my profile.**

**(Nominations for the Indie Awards began yesterday and continue for 10 days. These are for underappreciated fics with few reviews. This definitely fits in the "small number of reviews" category, but is it underappreciated or just unpopular?? I go back and forth with that.)**

**Oh, and why is this update so late? Family vacation…the start of the summer term…and the general laziness of summer (not necessarily in that order). I'm contrite.**

Ch. 25. Talk

"Josh, wait up," called a familiar voice.

I thought I had successfully escaped my prison, but apparently not. I stopped and turned, the sun shining into my eyes. In the east, the sky was blue, but clouds were coming in hard from the west. I expected to be running in a cold rain before I made it to 7 miles. It suited my mood to a "T."

"I was trying to get away," I said sullenly.

"As if you could," snorted Leah. "You're stuck with us now. I know you think you were being sneaky, but everyone in the Den heard you when you took your first step on the floor."

"How did I get all the way outside, then?" I asked in annoyance. I supposed they could tell when my underwear hit the floor and I put on my running tights, too. Oh, maybe they all had X-ray vision and I might as well be naked.

"I had stuff going in the kitchen, and Seth is a lazy bum," she replied. "Jake and Nessie are gone with the others."

"None of the vampires like running?"

"Uh, actually the do; they're really good, seeing as they never tire. They have a problem with the sun."

"What? Really?" I hadn't really thought about all the different vampire myths. Beyond the drinking of blood and the apparent speed, strength, and immortality, I hadn't given the stories any credence. It seemed rather foolhardy to think that anyone as strong and powerful as Edward and his friends would be bothered by a little solar radiation. SPF 1000 perhaps? I scoffed at my own ridiculousness. I had accepted the parts I had seen with my own eyes or had been demonstrated by Bella and Edward's anomalous ages. I was a little taken aback by the thought that Bram Stoker had gotten anything accurately.

"Um, yeah, they're a little conspicuous in the sun." Leah looked at me as we began speeding up. If I stayed in Wolfeboro much longer, I was going to end up in great shape, physically. Leah was very...challenging.

"What do you mean, 'conspicuous'?" I was going to have to ask shorter questions if we were going to run this hard.

"It makes more sense if you see it for yourself, but they're sparkly."

Oooh-kay. Sun exposure turned them into a disco ball rather than the pile of ashes I had imagined. Next question. "So, any other weird vampire factoids? Maybe they glow in the dark or..." The look I got from Leah stopped that theory in its tracks.

"They smell funny," she offered.

Ooooh-kay. I recalled Tanya's scent briefly but I pushed the memory aside. Her scent was many things…intoxicating…addictive…definitely not funny. I cleared my throat. "What do you mean, 'funny'?"

"It hurts my nose to smell them. It's sweet and sharp. It's hard to explain since your sense of smell is so weak."

"Should I ask what you and Seth and Jake are? I mean, I can tell you're all Native American, and you're not like Nessie. You have amazing reflexes and you, at least, have incredible endurance and a better sense of smell than I do." Ouch. Gasp. Shorter questions, Clemson.

Leah looked at me and tried to say something, but the sound seemed to catch in her throat. "Crap. I forgot about that. I can't tell you."

"Can't or won't?"

"Can't. Um, try guessing what might....Crap, I can't even give hints now. You know what Edward is."

"Yes."

"What other strange—" Leah cut off again.

"You want me to guess?"

Silence.

"You're a mutant."

"Actually, that's true, but not precise," Leah said after a short, bitter laugh.

"Okay. You're, uh, not vampires. Some other thing. Something I don't believe in. Aliens?"

"No. Wow, you are _really_ bad at this."

"Hmm. Uh, genetically modified super-soldiers."

"I take it you've read a lot of comic books in your day."

"I did, actually. Rebellious period in my teen years. Dad was pretty snobby about literature. Seemed better than shooting heroin." I was trying not to gasp in between short phrases.

"You're not doing well on this exam, buddy."

I looked at her, and nothing came to mind at all. What would a trio of very handsome, highly athletic Native Americans be doing with vampires, and what mythical creatures might they be? As we ran, the filtered sunlight reminded me of our first run together through these woods. It was just four days ago, but it seemed like a thousand years ago. I was doing all right that morning until I saw the fat Irish setter. Oh. The jokes at the breakfast table aimed at Jake came suddenly to mind. And then, for some reason, the first time I saw Jake came back to me. I could have sworn that he sniffed the air in Bella Libri on my very first visit to Wolfeboro. They all lived in a B & B called "The Den."

"Leah?"

"Did you come up with something better? I haven't been treated with gamma rays or other forms of radioactivity." I glared at her for a moment while I regained my dignity.

"Are you, um, okay this is going to sound really stupid."

"Trust me, nothing was stupider than 'do vampires glow in the dark.' Haven't you been sleeping with Tanya?"

I knew I was turning red. I didn't like talking about girls to other girls. It was just wrong.

"Okay, so since I'm already the dumbest guy you know, I'll go out on a limb. Are you guys…(gasp)…some kind of dogs? Werewolves?" I caught the look on Leah's face, and I knew I had nailed it. My comic book education had taught me something useful, despite what Dad said. Though I was pretty sure there wasn't any moon, let alone a full one, when I caught a glimpse of the freakishly huge Irish setter.

"Got it in seven!" Leah confirmed.

I shut my mouth and continued to run. Leah enjoyed it when she could get me flustered, and I wasn't rising to the bait this time. I had been planning to think about Tanya or something on this run, but then, I had been planning to be alone, too.

"How long have you been with these vampires?"

"On and off for about 20 years. I'm not aging right now."

Oooh-kay. My face must have shown my confusion, because she explained.

"As long as we phase back and forth like every day or so, we don't age. Carson says it's got something to do with healing enzymes that the mutant genes produce. If we quit phasing, we start aging again."

"Can you stop?"

"Oh, yeah. The first five years or so it was hard, but I'm totally in control now. Maturity does wonders for your control."

"So, uh, how old are you?"

"Thirty-nine. But I'm stuck at nineteen."

"Most women would kill to be you."

"Ha. They don't know what they're asking for. But that's another story."

Oooh-kay. I looked up as a fat raindrop hit my head, and got hit in the left eye with another. Apparently Leah saw it because she coughed out a laugh. I could smell the colder moist air in the breeze that had suddenly picked up and then just as quickly died away.

I ignored her and tried a new tack. "So, the werewolf myths involve full moons, if I recall. And silver bullets." My breathing was getting more even, but I still needed a good breath between sentences. If a werewolf changed with the moon, how did she control it? And how did she phase every day?

"Myths. Phasing is a choice for us. Actually, werewolf is somewhat of a misnomer, I've been told. I'm a shape-shifter. There are true werewolves who are bound to the moon cycle. They're quite savage, I understand. I've considered hunting one up to see how tough they are, but it's probably not a good idea."

"Yeah, that sounds dangerous," I said absently. People that I personally knew were, in reality, mythical beings. This was getting out of my control, totally separate from the fact that I was apparently marked for death by powerful human-eating vampires I had never met. It was a measure of how far gone I was that the whole werewolf thing sounded perfectly sane.

My mind returned to my current life-threatening crisis. If I stayed with the vampires, who would be the one to watch over me? I was imagining that Tanya might be a reasonable choice. Maybe she could come live with me in Boston until I finished my degree, or until I was in the writing phase. Then I could go back to live with her in Alaska. That option didn't sound so bad, until I remembered that she had left me.

She left _me_. Why? She said it was because she couldn't tell me, that it would be terrible if I knew. But I knew, now, right? That didn't mean she didn't care about me. If she didn't care, it wouldn't bother her if I knew, right? I never asked her my most important question: do you really care about me? I had made inferences, but now I wasn't so sure.

Could we be back together now? Did I want us to be?

"What do werewolves and vampires...(deep breath)…have in common?" I noted that the wind had picked up again, cooling the air around me.

"Nothing, usually. We're natural enemies. Our purpose is to kill vampires before they kill humans. Specifically before they kill anyone in our tribe."

"So, why are you together? Are you keeping them on the straight and narrow?"

"First off, Jake is our pack leader. I go where he goes, at least for the time being. Secondly, Nessie is Edward and Bella's daughter, and she and Jake are mated for life. Jake won't leave Nessie, and she won't live too far from her family. Thirdly, and this is _not_ as important, Bella is actually my stepsister. My mom married her dad, but not until after the whole vampire/werewolf thing went down."

There was a long pause as I took that in. Who knew the nepotism that could be involved with different species of mythical creatures!

"I'm sure you can tell that Jake and Seth are fine with these vampires. Jake and Bella were good friends from before, anyway. The vamps can stay on the straight and narrow by themselves. I didn't sign up to be their Jiminy Cricket; I'm here to protect my family. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them, but I only barely tolerate them. They don't prey on humans as a rule, but they _have_ done so in the past."

Now we were getting somewhere.

"Yeah, Edward said something like 'we don't eat humans if we can help it.'"

"I know more than I should because the pack has no secrets and Nessie knows a lot of the vampires' secrets. Only Rosalie, Carson, and Bella have never killed a human for blood, and even they admit that was a healthy dose of luck. Slip-ups have happened in the past. Edward and Jasper both fed from humans for a time, but that was long before I was even born."

I didn't find it hard to imagine Edward killing a human. There had been a moment when I was sure Randall was dead by Edward's hand, and, honestly, I wouldn't have been too put out by it. I couldn't imagine little Alice killing.

In truth, they were all killers, built to kill even if they had managed to stay abstinent. Killers like Tanya. She wasn't what I thought, but I was starting to understand a little better. How long could I abstain from eating if I stood next to a fabulous, fragrant seafood buffet?

I slowed down, and Leah adjusted her speed with me, a concerned look on her face. I stopped and sat on a fallen log next to the "trail" Leah had us following. I put my head in my hands.

"Can they hear us from here?" I knew my voice was muffled, but super-hearing, right?

"Nope. We're about three miles out. They can't hear a thing."

"Will you—" I stopped. "Will you tell me everything you know about Tanya?" I didn't look up. I didn't think I could look Leah in the face while asking her about another woman. I didn't think I wanted to look anyone in the face because I was going to gamble everything I had left on this. That answered one of my questions. Some part of me, maybe not all of me yet, was ready to overlook or accept or ignore the mass of humanity Tanya had killed. I didn't know if I was in love or still falling in love, but I couldn't walk away.

"Ugh. I am not the right person to ask. I really have done my best to avoid knowing the vamps." Leah sat next to me on the log, and put a hand on my back. "I'll tell you what I can. I know that Tanya's coven has been friends with Carson and the others here for many years; I'm not sure exactly how long. As far as we all know, Tanya's coven is the only other group of vampires that don't prey on humans."

"These are the only ones." I guessed that a baker's dozen didn't constitute a large sample size of the world-wide vampire populace. If I was going to get mixed up with vampires, at least I'd found the ones who wouldn't eat me, at least not on purpose. Ha. I guess my luck was changing.

"Yeah. Carson's family and Tanya's coven call themselves 'vegetarians.'"

"That's droll. There's something I've wondered about Edward and Bella. He told me that they were together when Bella was human, that she had Nessie when she was human."

"You didn't actually ask a question," pointed out Leah. She sighed, stood up, and leaned casually against a tree. "But I know what you're getting at. My secret source of vampire facts suggests that Edward and Bella are unique in vampire history. Ordinary vampires think of humans as glorified cattle. The vegetarians don't generally get close to anyone outside their families. It's hard to explain what a milestone their relationship was. My pack almost went to war with Carson's family when Edward and Bella fell in love. Turning a human into a vampire _is_ taking a life. Bella can't have another child. She'll never grow old. Her heart no longer beats and her body has no heat. Everything in me rejects what she is now"

"But you and Nessie are friends, right?"

"Oh, definitely. Nessie may be half-vampire, but there is _life_ in her." Leah stopped a moment. "I don't want to imply that Edward killed Bella just to make her a vampire. She died during childbirth, and he turned her essentially to revive her. And I know they are both very happy with one another."

I pondered Leah's revelations. Vampire and human together – it wasn't impossible. Edward and Bella's story even had a happy ending, except that it wasn't over yet.

"As for what else I know about Tanya," Leah continued, "she went to Bella and Edward's wedding, but I didn't cross paths with her for another five months or so after that. There have been a few visits here and there over the years. Other than being a blood-sucking creature of the night, she's cool. Oh, and Jake, uh, told me that Tanya used to be interested in Edward, but he didn't like her in that way."

Ooh-kay. That was awkward. I looked at Leah. "Apparently that was a long time ago?"

"Well, twenty years or more. That's how long Bella and Edward have been married, and they dated before that."

Lovely. My maybe-girlfriend was crushing on Edward when I was a preschooler, possibly when my father was a preschooler. I had an odd sense of disconnection, and my vision got spotty – as in there were little black spots in my eyes.

"Oh, oh, here, put your head between your knees." I heard Leah's voice, and her very hot hands pushed gently on my back. "Breathe, Josh. You really went pale there. Crap, I shouldn't have let you sit down without a cool down. Before we moved here, I worked for a while as a personal trainer. I think I might go back to that because, I have to say, the hospitality industry absolutely sucks. I have no life whatsoever. Keep breathing."

"I think I'm okay," I said from my very uncomfortable position. "I'd really like to sit up now." Leah helped me to a more normal sitting position. "Sorry. I'm not really a fainter. I don't know what happened." I shuddered once, all over.

"Are you cold? Crap, Josh! Your lips are turning blue, and we are a long damn way from home." At that moment, a very cold rain started to pelt us like rocks from heaven.

"I think I'll warm up if we start running again," I told her. We both stood and started jogging back the way we had come. We starting going faster when my hamstring cramped up. "Ow – agh! Crap!" I hit the ground in agony, stronger words rattling in my head.

"Josh, this is ridiculous." Leah knelt beside me where I was rolling on the ground. "Let me help you stretch it. Hold still." Leah managed to warm up my muscle with her burning hands and stretched my leg back out. "We can't run back now. We'll walk."

Leah pulled me up to my feet. We were both soaked through, but Leah was giving off heat like a tiny supernova. She put one arm up the back of my soaked top and leaned into me as she walked and I limped back towards the Den. My left hamstring was aching unpleasantly. I kept having to wipe the water off my face since the rain was coming down so hard.

"I can hear someone coming," said Leah. She became very tense. "Too fast for a human, but upwind. Get behind me." Leah shoved me up against a tree, and I was surprised at how much power she had. She stepped about ten feet away from me.

"Who's there?" she asked, but not any louder than a normal speaking voice. I saw the tension drain from her. "It's okay. It's Tanya. With the cloud cover, she decided to come out and check on us."

I sneezed explosively four times in a row, and my head started to hurt. Leah came back and wrapped herself around me again, trying to warm me with her seemingly limitless body heat. I had missed the warmth, but it still wasn't enough. I was starting to shiver all over. A moment later, Tanya arrived, dressed in rain boots and a slicker and carrying an umbrella. Her face was grim as she took in the sight of the rain pouring off our entwined bodies.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" she said to me sharply. "What were you thinking?"

"I thought I wanted to run," I shot back.

"Give him the coat, Tanya. He's freezing."

"I can see that," she answered, her voice a little softer.

"No," I protested. "You can keep it." I sneezed again.

"Don't be a bigger idiot. I don't need it. I can't feel the cold." Tanya dressed me in the coat as if I were a recalcitrant toddler. Leah put her arm around me again, and the two of them walked me back to the Den as I became more and more miserable.

Two hours, a hot shower, four cups of tea and three Advil later, I was feeling less miserable but still sniffly. I was propped up in my bed with a book. Tanya was in the room, apparently reading.

"Are you really reading?" I asked. "I haven't really gotten anything out of my book."

Tanya dropped her book on the floor. "No, me either. I didn't want to disturb you."

"I wanted to ask more questions," I said tentatively. Do you really care about me? Do you want to stay with me? "How are all of you going to watch me? Are you going to put me into some kind of Vampire Protection Program, and does it mean I can't finish my degree?" It sounded stupid when I said it. My life was on the line, but I was talking about finishing school. Except, of course, school was all I had left.

"I don't know yet. I think Edward and Carson are doing their best to deflect any attention that may be on you. Remember, these other vampires have already tried to kill you. We're just not sure how committed they were to having you dead. Killing humans is an everyday practice for them; it didn't have to be personal."

I nodded. Of course. A vampire who feeds from humans wouldn't worry about the ethics of killing me unnecessarily. And, heck, Randall was going to get dinner out it. Value-added murder.

"I talked to Leah a little bit about you and the other vampires here."

"She's not exactly our best advocate." Tanya looked a little angry, and possibly a little defensive. Perhaps that was just my wishful thinking.

"Leah admitted she didn't enjoy your company much, but that's not really relevant to what I was going to say."

"I'm sorry. Please continue." Tanya waved one hand gracefully at me.

"She thought your group and Carson and Edward's group were the only…abstaining vampires."

"We haven't met any others," Tanya admitted. "It is not an easy way of life, denying your natural instincts. It isn't just a food choice; our brains have a much more developed amygdala than humans. Because of that, we have certain sensory triggers, especially olfactory, that provoke intense responses, but we also have perfect recall. The amygdala is also heavily involved in aggressiveness, feeding behavior, maternal instinct, and sexuality."

"You're actually a different species, now," I said, intrigued and frightened all at once.

"Yes. I'm not really interested in doing the research the way Carson is, but I am interested in understanding the results. I've been different from a human for a thousand years, and only recently have I been able to understand why."

"Perhaps the change in brain physiology is what caused Edward to be able to read minds," I commented. It was fascinating, but it wasn't really on topic. I forced myself away from thoughts of brain anatomy and focused back on questioning Tanya.

"Are you worried about what's happening right now in Boston?" It wasn't the most pressing question to me emotionally, but it was probably the most important to my future as a living, breathing human being.

"Yes, but Carson's family is very strong and large for our kind. He and his family are the only conceivable challenge to these other vampires. Because of that, there has been a cold war of sorts for the past eight years. We've tried to avoid being attacked, and they seem to keep scheming."

"Eight years doesn't seem like a long time for someone who will live forever."

"It isn't. There is a lot we don't understand about the strategy on the other side."

"They fear Carson? He seems so…compassionate."

"Exactly. 'Compassionate' and 'vampire' don't exactly go together. He's a rebel, if you will, using the same philosophy as Jesus Christ, Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr. He peacefully resists the status quo. He is a subversive, and he commands immense respect among our families and also among many friends and acquaintances of our kind."

"Wait. You are _friends_ with _other_ vampires? Ones who consume humans?"

"We are. If you were a vegan, would you still associate with conventional, omnivorous humans?" Tanya looked at me as if this were obvious.

"I don't think it's the same!"

"Why not?"

"Because pigs are not sentient. I can have a conversation with you, a relationship with you. It isn't possible with a pig."

"Maybe you just haven't learned the right language yet."

Oink, oink. I sat in dumbfounded silence. Different species, different rules? Different morality? We were off topic again.

"Let's agree to disagree about that for the time being," I offered as diplomatically as I could. "You're worried about Boston, but you feel like Carson's family is up to the challenge?"

"Carson's family of eight, ten if you count Ness and Jake, has five of the most gifted vampires I know. There are others with equal gifts, but I don't think I know of anyone who is significantly better than they."

"What do you mean by gifted?"

"You know that Edward reads minds. There are others in his family with other gifts. In my family, Kate is gifted – her touch can cause the sensation of a severe electric shock. Eleazar is also gifted; he can sense the presence and type of other vampires' gifts."

I recalled a favorite fantasy book I had read in junior high. "I think you're gifted. You've got sex appeal." I gave her the winning Clemson smile. It was time. I couldn't put it off. "You said things would be bad if you told me what you were."

"Well, they are bad. Your life has just taken a turn for the worse, in case you haven't been paying attention." She was giving me a serious look back. I realized we were both leaning towards the other, looking deeply into each other's eyes.

"I know what you are, now. My life may be worse, but you staying away from me won't prevent any of that. Not now. I've thought about what you are and the things you've done, and I've decided I don't care. I want to know…I want to know if you are interested in me…in a romantic sense." I had a horrible twisting sensation in my gut. This was it. I searched her face, her eyes intently for some sign of what she felt. She was very still and her eyes gave away nothing. She had a tiny smile.

"Josh, haven't you been listening to me? Edward brought me here to take care of you. This was my job for the week."

"I know why you came here. That's not what I asked." The twisting was worse, and was expanding from my stomach to a spot in my chest. I kept my eyes locked on hers.

"Josh, you are a darling, but I'm just not like that. I love men; don't get me wrong. Remember, I've been around for a long time, long enough to become a legend."

"What does that mean?" The Legend of Tanya the Teenage Vampire?

"I'm sure you've heard of me. My sisters and I are the source of the legend of the Succubus. I've been with many men, over centuries, but I've never been with one continuously for more than a week."

"Then I guess my time is about up," I said, my voice shockingly steady. Maybe "shock" was the right word, since that was what I felt. "I think I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm not chilled anymore. You don't have to babysit me – you can go back to your own room."

Tanya nodded and rose, looking at me intently. I gazed back at her, not feeling the punch yet. I needed her to go so when the pain hit she wouldn't have to see it. As soon as the door closed behind her, I felt the kick to the stomach. It was reminiscent of how I felt when the doctor had let me know Dad hadn't lasted through the night. All the air went out of me, and I collapsed on my side on the bed.

* * *

I walked slowly out of his room, hyperaware of every sound he made, the way his heart had stuttered and his breathing rate had increased slightly. I had taken in his face and the contours of his body for one last time. The scent of him was still in my lungs. I turned to see Leah just beyond my own door, her face furious. A quiet thump in the room suggested he had collapsed to the bed, and the thought of the pain I had caused him twisted in me. I hadn't wanted him hurt, but what choice did I have?

"You are an idiot, Tanya," Leah hissed softly. She whirled on her heel and stalked away.

"For once, I agree with the wolves," Kate said quietly from the common room. She and Garrett were watching something on tv. Eleazar and Carmen were out in one of the cabins.

"I know what I'm doing," I responded to Kate. I knew what I was. I knew my limits. There was no way I was going to lead Josh on when I knew I wasn't what he needed. I could not be trusted to stand by him for the long haul.

**AN2: Don't kill me! I'm not giving up on these two. A thousand years is a long time to get set in your ways! What do you think?**

**This might be a good time to mention that I am only a few chapters + epilogue away from ending The Cold War. How will I wrap up all the loose ends? Well, some of them are getting wrapped. Others will not...but I am planning a sequel tentatively titled "Acts of Aggression."**

**ebhg and I have collaborated AGAIN!!! on a two-shot we have titled "Renesmee's First Lie." It was inspired by the discussions of Carlisle, Edward, and Renesmee in Ch. 24 and the beautiful stories of the early years of Edward, Bella, and Renesmee by Justine Lark, ebhg, and TheSingingGirl. Put me (or ebhg) on Author Alert so you'll catch it when it comes out.**


	26. Ultimatum

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: I have too much to say here, so if you're impatient, skip the bold stuff. But you could come back and read it later.**

**THANKS to everyone who reads and has enjoyed TCW. Thanks to all you reviewing-types out there; I had a really whiny AN at the top of last chapter, and there were lots of encouraging comments. Thanks to misakigirl for posting review #200! I really appreciate Master of the Boot and katmom for their nice comments as they read through the recent chapters.**

**I can't say enough about my friend, collaborator, beta, and apparently my counselor: edward-bella-harry-ginny. She helped out in so many ways on this chapter when it was a poorly constructed, unconnected set of scenes. Thanks, lady!**

**I also received invaluable advice from Justine Lark and my sister! Thanks, sis!**

**The last round of voting has begun in bronzehairedgirl620's Epic T-rated Contest in memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal – please read and review the stories; I put a link to the C2 on my profile. My collaboration with ebhg: Masen and Swan: The FBI's Most Unwanted, has made it to the final round!**

**Round three: July 6th-10th. The top half (20-30 entries) from the second round will be included here, and the top three winners will be determined.  
Please vote on bronzehairedgirl620's profile!**

**The Cold War has been nominated for a Sparkle Award for Best Post-Breaking Dawn. Voting has already begun and will continue through July 31. Most Unwanted is also nominated for Best One-Shot and Best Collaboration. You can find instructions on voting on my profile.**

**The Cold War has also been nominated at the Indie Twific Awards for:  
Best Canon WIP, Best Characterizations (non Edward/Bella) WIP, Best Original Character WIP, Best Secondary Story Line WIP, Most Original Story Line WIP!**

**Round one voting is July 8-12! You can find instructions on voting on my profile.**

**Renesmee's First Lie, my other collab with ebhg, is also nominated at Indie Twific for Best Collaboration. ebhg's Heart and Soul is up for Best AU AH, complete. I saw that Justine Lark also has several fics nominated: Sunshine State is nominated for Best Canon (Complete), Most Romantic Moment (Complete) and Best Non-EB Characterization (Complete). Our Little Secret is nominated for Best Use of Humor (Complete). Date Night is nominated for Most Romantic Moment (WIP).**

**Please vote, even if you don't vote for me/us/ebhg/JL. Participation makes authors happy! Now on to the show! I hope it is worth the wait, or at least some of the wait.**

_**From Ch. 24:**_

_I said my good-byes to Tanya at vampire speed. "The van is almost here for me. We'll do what we can to protect Josh and your family; I'll do my best to determine what they know of your involvement. If you get the call from us, protect the pack and take care of Josh."_

It won't come to that. They wouldn't try to attack you without the entire guard, especially not now when they know how powerful your family is.

"_I hope you're right. If it doesn't go well, we could all be gone. Jake's coming with us, too."_

Ch. 26. Ultimatum

The van pulled up outside the Den. I was not surprised when I saw who was driving, but only because I'd heard them coming.

"Edward! They won't let me drive this time!" Emmett complained in a tone that came very close to a whine. I wanted to roll my eyes and snap at him, but I was as stressed at the loss of control as he was.

Bella was at the wheel, Alice in the passenger seat beside her.

I manfully hid my displeasure since doing otherwise would have led nowhere good. Bella was a perfectly good driver; it was just that I would have preferred to drive unless I had the privilege of sitting with my wife. I leaned over the console and kissed Bella's cheek before climbing into the single open seat on the back row but one. Behind me, Nessie and Jake sat on either side of a sedated Randall. I didn't like the seating arrangements for Ness, Bella, or myself, but complaining was going to put me in the doghouse with all the women in my life. Discretion was the far better part of valor.

_We've faced worse and come out whole._ Carlisle, next to me, was reflecting on our appointment with the Volturi, inadvertently reminding me that there were more important issues than whether I could drive. He leaned forward and grasped Esme's shoulder, both receiving and giving encouragement. She grasped his hand, but did not turn her head, instead leaning back and closing her eyes. The calm we were all experiencing was not natural, although Jasper would have been annoyed at being referred to as unnatural. Underneath the surface, each of us wrestled with concerns about our imminent confrontation.

"Did they have time to send for more of the Guard?" asked Carlisle.

"I don't think so," answered Jasper absently from the other side of Carlisle. He was considering several options. If the odds stood as we expected, we could kill all the Volturi we would face today – we expected to see four – but we assumed they had chosen a public park to prevent that outcome. Their threats against innocents were undoubtedly real, and Carlisle at least would not allow any course of action which led to avoidable human deaths. Although Jasper was more inclined to take a risk/benefit approach, he suspected that Alice and Bella at least would side with Carlisle.

There could also be more of the Guard in the country than we knew, and we could be outnumbered. Jasper thought it unlikely. He had been watchful with the Customs computers, and Alice could see many of the Guard when they considered aggression toward our family. Finally, he thought it possible the entire setup was a trap and no Volturi Guard would appear today. Alice was focused on Bella's future, and had seen no indications that she would be blown to bits or otherwise destroyed. The presence of the hybrids made Alice's visions more uncertain than usual, but if this were a trap, we wouldn't be seeing hybrids other than those sitting in the row behind me. Jasper was a pragmatist. If we didn't appear, the outcome was fairly certain. The risk must be taken. Unfortunately, the benefits of appearing were less clear.

"We believe the 8 a.m. meeting time was set to give Demetri opportunity to return on the boat," I mentioned quietly. Carlisle nodded.

"I was wondering," announced Emmett from directly in front of me, his words eliciting a chorus of groans. "Seriously. I was wondering: if a hybrid plants a bomb and sets it to go off to kill us, but then the hybrid walks away, can Alice see that the bomb is set and there is an objective, stable, but short future for us? Or was the decision about the bomb made by a hybrid so Alice can't see that we're going to be blown up?"

"That's actually a good question," marveled Jasper.

"I have my moments," Emmett crowed.

"Alice didn't see the bomb in the apartment building," said Bella.

"That bomb wasn't set," pointed out Jasper. "Edward's friend on the phone had a trigger and hadn't decided to push it."

"Why is the sadistic, anonymous vampire lady _my_ friend?" I asked.

"She did want to talk to you," chimed in Emmett. "But you still haven't answered my question."

"I wouldn't see the hybrid setting the bomb, but once we made the decision to go where the bomb is waiting for us, I would see the impending explosion." Alice's voice was flat. She was rubbing her temples and searching for signs of how the day would progress. She could see the stock market, the weather at home and in Boston, the fall fashion line from four different designers, and bits and pieces of Bella's morning. The vision which kept returning was one where Bella looked anguished and asked "Can we do this?" Unfortunately, Alice couldn't see what "this" was or to whom Bella spoke.

Alice was also trying to find strategies to see through the "holes" left between the obstructions created by the hybrids and Jake. We would arrive at the meeting place a little over an hour early. She was trying to determine if any scouting of the park would lead to a disappearing timeline.

Something in Jake's mind caught my attention. He was hiding something from me. At first, I blocked it out, assuming he and Nessie had been…busy before coming to pick me up at the Den. Nessie was also hiding something. Argh. I really didn't want to know. What to do? I focused on Jasper's plotting, but Jake's mind was loud with his repeated _not thinking…not thinking…_

"Dammit! What have you done?" I demanded. Everyone turned toward me except Bella, mouths opened. I had a compound-eye view of my infuriated face. Jake glared back at me.

_Dad! What is your problem?_

"Sam agreed it was a good idea. They're just reserve, Edward." He bit off each word in controlled anger. I heard Nessie's shocked reaction to Jake's admission, so apparently she was hiding something different.

"When did they get here? Where are they? How are you going to contact them?" I asked aloud as each answer popped into his head. Embry, Quil, Collin, and Brady had come out together a few days before to "help out" on our original trip to Boston. They knew where we would be this morning, and had plans to wander about casually across Atlantic Street from the park a bit after 8 a.m. A text message was planned to silently alert the others to any developments.

Jacob's verbal responses were terse and to the point. He was annoyed at being challenged, but also annoyed with himself for losing control of his thoughts in front of me. I was a little surprised he'd managed to keep something like this from me for this long, but we hadn't been around each other much.

_It's a good plan, Edward. I can use that to our advantage._ Jasper, pragmatic as always.

"We left the Denalis behind for a reason," I hissed. "We are not involving anyone else in this until necessary."

_The pack made their own choices, Edward. I, for one, will not turn down this gift._ Carlisle's reprimand stung a little. I sighed and looked up to see Bella's eyes on me in the rearview mirror. The mirror wasn't big enough to show her whole face, but her eyes and the side of her cheek told me she was smiling at me. The anger slipped away, and I smiled back.

"No one has to know they're there," said Jake. "The wind will be coming off the water. The pack will come late and stay a good distance away. They know they're no good unless they can phase, and clearly that will be a last resort."

"I think the Volturi will come from the water," said Alice, twisting around in her seat. Her eyes looked tired. "There will be fog until about nine; we'll get rain about 9:30. The bad weather will keep most people away, I think."

"Tell your boys to stay further south and inland, then," said Jasper. "The park is narrow on the north side and the harbor is closer to the street."

"Sure, sure," said Jake.

Bella was exiting from I-93 and navigating the surface streets to the park. Her route would take us the length of the park before we reached the north end. Alice, of course, had been correct about the fog. Bella and Alice starting pulling off their jackets; they were both wearing uniformed tops. Alice pulled a couple of hats from a bag, and they put them on. Emmett wrestled a divider up and set it behind the driver's row; we were now invisible from the front seat.

"What's the plan here?" I asked in curiosity. Carlisle was as uninformed as I was, and Rosalie uninterested. Emmett and Jasper only knew the basics since Alice had not seen fit to share her entire idea.

_Just watch, Edward. Bella will be superb._

The van slowed, turned a corner, and eventually came to a stop. I heard one of the front windows rolling down.

"Good morning," came a man's voice. Someone was speaking to Bella. I found his thoughts, and saw her beautiful face, smiling in a friendly way. It wasn't _my_ smile, but the man was impressed nonetheless. Through his eyes, I saw there was a logo on the driver's side of the van: Clearwater Shipping. Apparently, Alice had seen the need for all this.

"Here's our shipping orders," said Bella, leaning slightly toward the man and handing him a palm-sized computer. He barely glanced at the screen before hitting an [OK] button, too distracted by his own imagination and by a little help from Jasper. I could feel a snarl rising, and Carlisle nudged me hard with his elbow. I caught a glimpse of myself in his thoughts, eyes black and my lip curling up. Emmett was chuckling softly in front of me, and I resisted the urge to reach over and smack him. Now I wasn't sure if I was more annoyed with Emmett, Jasper or the obnoxious gate guard. I supposed his thoughts were no worse than Mike Newton's, and I'd never actually committed violence against the boy who'd harbored a crush on Bella.

"We're a little early for our pickup, so I'll just wait over there," said Bella, waving vaguely.

"No problem…Bella," said the man, reading from the embroidered nametag across her uniform pocket. His eyes lingered unnecessarily there, and I found myself being shoved back into my seat by a very annoyed Carlisle. Emmett's shoulders were shaking from suppressed laughter. Mike Newton actually _hadn't_ been quite so imaginative.

_Sorry bro, Rose wanted to drive, but Alice saw that the gate guard didn't like blondes. Rose was irritated, but I'll let her take it out on me later._ Hmm. Emmett, taking one for the team. For some reason, it didn't comfort me since the result was the gate guard ogling my wife.

_Dad, relax. Mom knows what she's doing._ I wasn't worried about Bella. The gate guard needed to learn some manners.

I put a hand over my face. The day was likely to get worse before it got better.

_I suppose you need this_, Jasper thought, sending me a calming wave. _Get your head back in the game. With Alice hamstrung, we need you alert._

The gate guard handed Bella a temporary parking pass, and she pulled away to find a convenient parking place. She placed us next to a small truck which shielded the van from the road. No one was in the parking lot at that hour; Jasper must have made the guard extremely compliant so he wouldn't question Bella. I had to admit, grudgingly, that Alice had found a very convenient parking space for us. The harbor was just out the front windshield of the van, the park to our front and right, obscured in the mist.

"What now?" asked Esme.

"We'll head out into the park in twos. Alice and I will go first," said Jasper. "I want Nessie and Jake to remain with the vehicle and Randall. Carlisle, you and Esme should be the last couple to leave. Stay close to the van in the event that Jake and Nessie need your help. If we go too far for Bella's shield, give us a whistle."

"No one's watching," I told them confidently.

Jasper and Alice slipped out into the fog, walking like sweethearts going for a leisurely stroll – in the cold, damp, early morning air.

"Will the fog be enough cover for us to put an end to these bastards?" pondered Emmett aloud.

"No one would see us, but miniscule water droplets are not an effective sound barrier for the shrieking and the ripping, nor would they hide the massive column of smoke," I answered sarcastically.

_No sign or scent of vampire activity. The park is empty. You should send Em and Rose out now; have them scout to the southwestern side of the park._

I passed Jasper's message to Rosalie and Emmett, and the two walked off into the lightening mist.

_Alice says traffic will be picking up soon. You and Bella head towards the center of the park._

"Jasper's asked me to head out with Bella," I told Carlisle. He nodded. "Jasper's patrolling the harbor side of the park. Em and Rose are at the far side. We'll be in the center."

I realized as I put my arm around Bella's shoulders that we were alone for the first time in two days. We walked the red brick paths of the park, the sounds of traffic on one side and the harbor on the other. The near-emptiness of the park was soothing for me, although there were so many others in the nearby blocks. The city was coming to life with rush hour on this Friday morning. Bella must have been missing me as well, because a shiver ran through her when my hand lowered to her back and pressed her forward. My fingers found the intersection of her pants and top, and I caressed the spot of bare skin underneath, relishing the smooth curve of her back.

"This isn't appropriate, Edward," she whispered, but her lips grazed my shoulder when she spoke.

"I'm listening carefully," I whispered as I leaned down to her ear. I couldn't stop the grin which spread on my face. "No bad guys anywhere nearby. They won't be here for nearly an hour."

"Jasper will not be pleased," she murmured near my ear. We had reached the center walkway of the park. I stepped into a sheltered area between trees just south of the main pathway.

"I'm watching everything they see. We're covered. Can you sense all of them in your shield?" My lips were much closer to hers now and my mind was flooded with her scent. Vampires could think of many things at once, I told myself.

"Yes, I can sense everyone. I thought you would be too tense for this."

"I might be too tense _not_ to do this. Just one kiss. It won't take long." To an immortal. I didn't give her any more time to protest. I didn't understand how, with a perfect memory of every kiss we ever had, I still felt every kiss anew. The smoothness and softness of her lips, the way she would sigh, the scent of her, it was more of a drug than her blood had been.

When we finally pulled apart, Bella relaxed into my arms, her head on my chest. "I think I needed that. I needed to remember you," she sighed into my shirt.

"Me as well," I responded. I stroked her hair. "I needed a moment to reconnect. It isn't usual to be so near you and not be able to touch you."

"Do you think you can concentrate now?" Bella smiled up at me. "You've been through a lot of emotions in the last few hours."

"I wouldn't say I'm fully healed yet. Maybe one more kiss would complete the process."

_Edward! I let you have one kiss. That's enough._ I rolled my eyes with a small groan.

"Alice?" asked Bella with a tiny smile.

"I suppose she's right. We're probably annoying Jasper, anyway."

"Then I guess we wait," she said. As long as no one would see, there was no reason to stir. We stood, embraced, frozen but for our thoughts and our senses. I knew that Emmett and Rose watched the road and the south end of the harbor. Alice watched everything and had determined, through the cracks in time between hybrids, that the Volturi would certainly approach from the water. Carlisle and Esme watched the northern approach. Randall still slept. Bella and I stood at the center of the park, her shield protecting us all as I listened and sifted through the consciousness of passersby.

My gift gave us almost ten minutes of preparedness; Demetri's boat could only move so quickly and needed to be docked. When I sensed the approach of the Volturi Guard, I "whistled" to the rest of the family. We gathered at the north end of the park beneath the trees and watched as Demetri pulled up to the pier at the south side. We were less than 200 meters apart. The wind had picked up and was blowing in steadily from the water, bringing us a small measure of protection; it was possible they would never know Nessie and Jake were nearby. I was thankful Demetri had docked on the south side; the north side piers were closer to the van than we now stood. The Volturi were probably reluctant to come so close to us when we had them outnumbered.

I scanned the boat carefully. I immediately recognized the familiar minds of Demetri and Felix. I had encountered them three times in the past: Volterra, the field after we slaughtered the newborn army, and the same field during our showdown with the Volturi. Demetri was nearly the same as before: businesslike, reserved, devoted to his masters. I perceived an undercurrent in his thoughts, at a depth below his uppermost consciousness, but I couldn't penetrate sufficiently to identify it. Vampire minds had many levels, although a "loud" thought at the top of the conscious mind could easily drown out the other thoughts. Alice was particularly good at that trick. For the moment, the docking of the boat had his uppermost attention.

Felix was exactly the same as before. I found him distasteful in a general way: he was coarse and disdainful of education. He lived for the hedonism which could consume the life of a vampire: drinking blood, consorting with women, drinking blood…. I found him distasteful in a particular way: he had an unhealthy interest in Bella.

Another female was on the boat. I didn't recognize her, but the feel of her was neither human nor vampire – she had to be the hybrid. She was thinking only of Demetri, Sarah, and Felix, in that order. She was a servant, or even a slave, in the minds of the vampires she was with. I couldn't name her because she didn't think of her own name and none of the others thought of her by name either. She was particularly aware of Demetri, maintaining a close distance each time he moved.

The last mind on the boat was the infamous Sarah. Her name was in the minds of all three others, and I recognized her mental voice easily from our previous encounter. Her thoughts were directed only on ensuring the others completed their immediate tasks. She had no plans for outright aggression, knowing we had them outnumbered. Jasper's instincts had been correct. Other than the general sense that no physical attack was planned, I could not determine her strategy.

Demetri, Felix, and two females emerged from the cabin of the boat. One of the females was dark and beautiful, her eyes a dark brown. She was the hybrid, probably a daughter of Joham. She looked at us curiously, but dropped her eyes quickly. She remained _very_ close to Demetri; she had been protecting him from Alice's vision for years. Both the others remained nearby her, but she was a satellite to Demetri. He glanced at her, and the undercurrent to his thoughts blazed up. He was _protective_ of her, especially in the presence of Sarah. I wondered if anyone aside from Jasper and myself could have detected his attitude.

Sarah was tall with dark brown hair pulled away from her pale face. Her features were beautiful, but hard. She had curves, but not like most of the female vampires I knew. She was leaner and tougher somehow.

"Hello, Cullens," she said, her voice low and commanding. "Do you have my boy?"

"I don't think we've been introduced," said Carlisle, taking a small step forward. "I'm Carlisle."

"Ah, my manners. Yes, I am Sarah Benjamin." _Hello, Edward. I am so pleased to see you in person._ Her eyes bore into mine. She knew who I was. "I train the young, shall we say, as a favor for Aro."

I saw flashes of memories flit through her mind. Newborns were a specialty of hers. She had methods of controlling others which Aro used to train newborns he desired. And also Randall.

"You must be young, I didn't meet you when I was in Italy," continued Carlisle. He was stalling, giving me a chance to learn everything I could.

"I don not mind if you know. I was an agent in the Mossad until I caught Demetri's interest. He liked my work related to Operation Opera. I've been a vampire since late 1981." I saw more flashes, now of her human life. These were less clear and more disjointed: men in uniforms, a handsome young man laughing, Arabic prisoners staring disinterestedly, a bearded man crying, an older woman smiling. Now that I knew she was Israeli, I could place her slight accent.

"You must be the one with the explosive interests," said Jasper. "I admire your work." _This one is dangerous. Very dangerous._

Bella touched me on the elbow, the silent signal that her shield was under attack.

I regretted the decision to leave Eleazar behind because the attack was coming from Sarah. I couldn't be sure what she was doing; the thoughts in her mind felt like a search or a question. I could tell that she was thinking of Carlisle. What was she searching for? Jasper could feel frustration coming off her.

_Your Bella is very talented. Such a precious pair you make. Unfortunately, she cannot protect _you_ from me. I already know what you desire most, what you fear the most. Your gift makes you susceptible to me even as Bella shields you._

"Thank you. I assume you are Jasper, yes? I have been trained in many areas." Sarah's eyes flicked to me once again and then away as a smile curved her lips.

There was a sudden flash in her mind of me in Volterra, kneeling and broken, unclothed and head shaved, in front of Aro. It felt dirty to know that in her mind I was naked. Somehow I knew this was what she had planned for me, a future where Bella no longer existed and I was as much under her control as Randall. Even without Eleazar, I could recognize her gift involved the control of others through their fears and desires. It wasn't hard to guess mine; Aro knew what I wanted the most was Bella and what I feared the most was her loss. I struggled to maintain a stoic demeanor, but I felt a tremor shake my left hand a fraction. I would not permit her to know the effect she had.

_What was that, Edward? I just got a spike of fear from you and excitement from that woman._ Was it fear that I felt? Jasper obviously thought so. I couldn't define it, but it felt somewhere between horror, disgust, and humiliation. I shook my head slightly. It could never come to this. Just because she threatened me didn't mean it would come true, even if the strength of her vision was enough to make me _feel_ it was true.

"Now, I think we have exchanged enough pleasantries," Sarah said, smiling slightly at me. "Where is my boy?"

Emmett and Jasper left us at top speed and pulled Randall's sleeping form from the van. They returned quickly.

"Very good. Now, this is my offer. You give me my boy, and I will abstain from destroying any more humans on your continent with explosives. If you decide you should keep him, I have already laid the explosives to take out two tourist attractions, one in New York and one in Philadelphia. The loss of life will be catastrophic."

"I want to let you know that Randall is very sick," said Carlisle firmly. "His mind is fractured. If he were human, he would be schizophrenic or possibly dissociative. He will never be fully functioning without serious treatment."

"Thank you, Carlisle; I am very aware of Randall's limitations. You might say that I arranged for them." Her eyes flicked back to me. _Did you know Aro promised you to me? If Jane is unsuccessful in breaking your legendary arrogance, I get to have my turn. I don't think Jane will be successful. I've heard about your self-control and self-denial. I look forward to that day, Edward._

_Another double bind_, thought Carlisle. _Release Randall into torturous slavery, or allow untold numbers to die? Is Sarah the Volturi sadist? Edward, is she the one driving these sadistic choices? Do the commands come from Aro, or are these her choices?_

She wasn't considering choices or decisions. All the decisions had been made before this moment; thinking through her choices was unnecessary. I shrugged slightly. I probed Demetri and Felix. Felix was alert, but disinterested – he was confident that we would not attack. Nothing else concerned him. Demetri was watching Sarah carefully; he was a senior member of the Guard and desired only the outcome that Aro wished to have. Demetri did not fear Sarah or her gift except where it concerned the hybrid female.

"I believe you said you had greetings for us from Italy," said Carlisle.

"Ah, yes. Master Aro sends greetings to you all, and a final offer. This is his last peaceful offer. If Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper agree to join the Guard, of their own volition, Master Aro ensures the safety of the rest of the Cullens." _I hope you turn us down, Edward. I would be disappointed if you came to us freely. My heart is set on taking you alone, away from your darling Bella. My control of your life begins today._

"I'm sorry, that is unacceptable," said Carlisle immediately.

"Wait," I said. "Give us a few moments to consider what you say."

"It is not what I say, Edward Cullen. This is the offer from Master Aro." _Please believe me when I say the offer of a peaceful resolution is not mine._

_No. No. No. No. No. Are you insane? Dad!_ I heard my family protesting that I would even consider this offer. The only ones not offering their opinions were Bella, Alice, and Jasper. I looked at the three of them.

"Can we do this?" whispered Bella, her golden eyes opened wide, her brow furrowed. I recognized the moment from Alice's vision. Bella offered me only trust; I knew that she would follow me if I asked it of her. I knew her so well; if she thought her own pain would lead to the happiness of others, she would make that sacrifice.

_You know Aro lies, Edward, and this woman is manipulating you somehow. I can feel it,_ contributed Jasper, but I could feel the indecision in his thoughts. This sacrifice would preserve Alice and his marriage. They would be together.

Bella and I would be together.

_I can't see anything_, moaned Alice in her thoughts. _I believe we would condemn the alliance. Nothing is decided, and there is nothing to see._ She reminded me of every vision we had seen before the visions changed two years before. Our sacrifices would be meaningless. Aro would immediately seek out Carlisle and destroy him utterly. Carlisle's philosophy of peaceful, tolerant coexistence was subversive in Aro's eyes.

_If you come now, with your sweet wife with you, Master Aro will give you a place of honor. But if you deny him, you are mine, and every attack on your family will aim at Bella first. Felix has been promised his fun._

I had another vision from Sarah's mind; it carried with it the certainty that it would come true. Bella struggled futilely in Felix's disgusting grasp. I imagined that, without Bella's shield protecting me, I would believe the vision. The force of it was still palpable, and I struggled to keep a calm façade. It was _not_ real.

"That woman is attacking Edward," hissed Jasper quietly. Everyone's eyes turned to me, and Bella's grip on my arm increased.

_Just give me a chance, I'll kill her._ Surprisingly, that possessive thought came from Rosalie. Apparently she felt torturing me was her own private enterprise.

"She has a gift," I murmured. None of the Volturi representatives could hear us. "She's threatening Bella, taunting me with my future without her." I couldn't verbalize the rest.

"Why isn't the shield working?" asked Esme. Her thoughts were fiercely protective, although not as violent as Rosalie's.

"It is – she tried to attack Carlisle first. I can hear what she's doing even though she can't reach me directly."

"She's trying to get you to come peacefully now," whispered Bella. "The Volturi know it would be nearly impossible to attack us head on, just as we can't attack them."

"Bella's right, Edward," agreed Jasper. "We have the upper hand here. Even the attacks on the humans won't hurt us directly."

"This was the plan from the beginning," said Carlisle. "They're attacking or threatening Bella to manipulate you. You must refuse her, Edward." _We are strong together. That's what they fear._

Intellectually, I could accept Carlisle's decision. The visions were compelling, though. I told myself that Sarah lied; it was purely a tactic to push me into an agreement I would never otherwise accept. "You're right. We'll refuse. Don't forget about Joshua, Carlisle." I hoped we could secure his safety today.

Randall chose this inopportune moment to rouse. His tortured mind was confused, even for him, as he struggled to orient himself. He realized he was confined by my brothers, then saw Bella. His eyes darted from her to me, then off toward the harbor. He saw Sarah, and his eyes widened and the pupils dilated.

"Cover his mouth," I urged Emmett. We might be invisible, but the noise would attract unwanted attention.

"Geez, he's gonna bite me," griped Emmett, his huge hand stifling the scream that emerged from the distressed Randall. The muffled noises were horrendous.

_We can't give him back, Dad. Look at him. I told him we would protect him!_

Apparently, even though she was enclosed in the van and had less acute hearing, Nessie had heard Randall. At least now I knew what she had been hiding; she must have spent time with Randall after I had left to talk with Tanya and Josh. My teeth ground against each other. We couldn't sacrifice untold humans to save one hybrid from his own family, sadistic though its members may be. Ness would have to live with the fact that she had made a promise she couldn't keep.

"I still await your decisions, Cullens."

"We will have to refuse your offer," answered Carlisle.

"I think I should hear that directly from the others."

"We will not join you," announced Jasper. "I speak for my brother and sisters." Jasper added a vicious kick of fear for Sarah to the end of his short speech. _That was for you, Edward._ She showed no outward sign of the wave of emotion.

"How do you want to conduct the transfer?" asked Carlisle over the continuing sounds of Randall's struggles.

"I suggest you have your daughter unshield my boy, first. I will be able to control him. Have your two bring him to the harbor edge. Demetri and Felix will take him from there."

Carlisle nodded at Bella, and I felt a surge coming from Sarah. I was relieved to find that her power was now directed elsewhere and felt a twinge of guilt for it. Randall had no chance against her, even without her gift. Interestingly, she did not direct a particular vision at Randall. I could detect the same compulsion in the thought she directed at him, and Randall's own mind supplied the fear. Unsurprisingly, her anger was his greatest fear.

"Be still!" ordered Sarah. It was clear she was speaking to Randall. His eyes wheeled, but he calmed, and the compulsion changed. If I had to describe it, I would say her thoughts twisted. In Randall's mind, Sarah was rewarding him.

_That was disturbing. I just got a surge of ecstasy from him._ Jasper was mildly disgusted.

Jasper and Emmett escorted Randall toward the water's edge, and Demetri and Felix approached from the pier. There weren't many people out due to the unpleasant weather, but an intrepid jogger passed by them. He was concentrating heavily on his pace and paid no attention to the strange grouping. I heard the other pack members approaching. They were in human form, and were tossing a football back and forth. They could see us, and I heard them talking quietly. They stayed on the extreme edge of the park.

_Edward, if you need us closer, wave or something._ I nodded at Quil's suggestion.

Felix and Demetri were only about 10 yards from Jasper and Emmett, who let Randall go. He walked obediently to the others. Felix and Emmett locked eyes.

"I've been hoping to get this close to you again," said Emmett in a deceptively friendly voice.

"Likewise." Felix's grin was menacing. Both Felix and Emmett emitted low growls, and Felix began to sink into a fighting stance.

"Not today, Felix," spat Sarah, her words as sharp as a whip crack. The compulsion came with her words, but Felix…resisted…even as he backed off from Emmett. He was not as strongly affected by her power as either Randall or I had been – and I hadn't even directly experienced her gift. Demetri and Felix escorted Randall to the boat while Jasper and Emmett returned slowly to where we stood.

_At least I can see our futures now. It's looking safe._

"Thank you, Carlisle. I have missed my boy." Sarah put one arm around Randall, and then abruptly ripped the neck of his shirt down and bit him. Randall made no sounds, but the scream in his mind nearly deafened me. Beside me, Bella gasped. All of us were shocked at her behavior in such a public setting, but the fog had yet to burn off. She was effectively invisible to any but us.

_No! Dad! How could you let him go?_

Sarah released Randall, and he fell to the deck. I could still hear his heartbeat, so she hadn't drained him. "The male hybrids are useful for so many things. They at least are immune to venom. The females are not as useful."

"I have two final comments," said Carlisle emotionlessly. He, too, was disgusted by Sarah. "First, we've taken care of the human pawn you involved. He is unaware of you and how you used him. Randall gave him a concussion that night and he remembers nothing."

"We will leave him to you. He was nothing to us," responded Sarah. She did not appear to be aware that Jasper had influenced her compliance on that point.

"The second comment is that I would like to speak with Aro directly. If you look in Randall's pocket, you will find a cell phone. It has one phone number programmed in. Please have Aro call me at that number at his earliest convenience."

"I do not think you will be able to sway his decision. You and your children have defied him for the last time."

"Nevertheless, we have things we need to discuss."

The engine of the boat roared to life, and we waited as they pulled away. The rain was just beginning to fall as the boat disappeared.

**AN2: As I mentioned, I am only a chapter + epilogue away from ending The Cold War. The sequel is tentatively titled "Acts of Aggression." As you can see, there is unfinished business between the Cullens and the Volturi. I was ready for a showdown between Felix and Emmett, but Sarah was uncooperative. I think Aro would sic Jane on her if she came back without his strongest fighter.**

**By the way, although I have given Sarah a "political" background, she is really an outgrowth of my fascination with Ziva David on NCIS. That girl kicks major butt!**

**Finally, if you feel like there is an issue you want to see resolved in TCW, you must review or PM me very soon! I intend to resolve some things, but save others for AoA. I'll try to relieve your suspense as to which.**


	27. Endings

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: So. This is the final non-epilogue chapter. It's _weird_, so let me warn you of the multiple POV changes. Each POV has a strong clue in the first sentence or two about the narrator; I know some of you want me to write it out, but I can't make myself do it. If I told you why, you'd probably snort at me in disgust, so I won't say. I did put in a separator each time the POV changes.**

**This chapter has a very short reference to chapter two of a fic by edward-bella-harry-ginny called "Renesmee's First Date or Why Jacob Black Must Die." If you can't find the reference, PM me and I'll tell you more.**

**Speaking of ebhg, she has once again given me the support I need to finish this chapter!**

**The Cold War has been nominated for a Sparkle Award for Best Post-Breaking Dawn. Voting has already begun and will continue through July 31. Most Unwanted is also nominated for Best One-Shot and Best Collaboration. You can find instructions on voting on my profile.**

**The Cold War made it to the second and final round at the Indie Twific Awards for:  
Best Canon WIP and Best Original Character WIP**

**Round two voting is July 22-29! You can find instructions on voting on my profile.**

"_The second comment is that I would like to speak with Aro directly. If you look in Randall's pocket, you will find a cell phone. It has one phone number programmed in. Please have Aro call me at that number at his earliest convenience."_

"_I do not think you will be able to sway his decision. You and your children have defied him for the last time."_

"_Nevertheless, we have things we need to discuss."_

_The engine of the boat roared to life, and we waited as they pulled away. The rain was just beginning to fall as the boat disappeared._

Ch. 27. Endings

The ride home was not euphoric even though I was able to sit curled up by Edward with no known responsibilities for at least the next two days. I thought we all felt similarly: the long stalemate was ending, and probably not in our favor. Although we now knew the extent of the Volturi plot and how Randall and Josh were involved, nothing felt finished. Sarah's confidence and command had been distressing, and her shocking behavior toward Randall had only emphasized that. I thought that if Renesmee had returned with us in the van, her anger and sadness about Randall's fate would have made the drive worse. She and Jake had decided instead to hang out with the other Quileutes while they were in Boston.

Next to me, Edward was very tense, his body almost completely rigid and formal in posture. I leaned into him, thankful that Carlisle had volunteered to drive us home. At first, Edward neither resisted nor returned my attentions. I remembered Jasper's warning that Sarah had been attacking him, and I felt a chill go down my arms. I hoped I would meet her face-to-face one day. I was as immune to her gift as I was to Jane's.

I hadn't realized that I'd made a fist until Edward smoothed out my fingers.

"Penny for your thoughts," he whispered into my hair. He had relaxed, a little.

"You belong to me, and I don't care what any Italian strumpet thinks she can get away with."

Edward rewarded me with a dark chuckle. "Actually, she's Israeli."

"Was," I corrected, joyful that his dark mood seemed to be dissipating. "Anyway, it doesn't change the sentiment." I tilted my head up and pressed my lips under his chin. "That reminds me – I've never heard of Operation Opera."

"Jasper? Do you want to explain that?" asked Edward.

"Not my favorite era of history," responded Jasper from in front of us as he gazed at Alice. As usual, even with no direct contact between them, the two made me feel like a voyeur. I turned back to Edward.

"Hmm. I admit the incident was not at the forefront of my attention at the time," began Edward. His gaze was intense and had nothing to do with his words. "I believe that the bare facts are that in 1981, Israel launched an air attack against a nuclear facility in Iraq. The UN sanctioned them for an unprovoked act of aggression. Until the second Gulf War, the US supported the UN position."

"Interesting parallels," I murmured. It was true, but somehow the history failed to capture my full attention. I breathed in the scent that was Edward and was flooded with warmth, security, and a little something else.

"I suppose," he answered, his attention drifting. Edward was slowly stroking the embroidered nametag on my uniform. Alice had deliberately given me a shirt which was a tad bit tight; it didn't button all the way to the top. "Whatever happened to your uniform hat?"

Alice tossed the cap into Edward's face, but he didn't even scowl as he settled it on my head. "I like blue collar Bella." He fingered the collar of my shirt which was, in fact, a shade of medium blue. His eyes darkened to almost black, and I was rejoicing inside. Today's events must not have traumatized him as badly as I had feared.

"Eww! Get a room!" Rosalie sneered at Edward from behind us.

"I cannot believe you voiced that, Rose. You two are annoying Jasper even more thoroughly than you're annoying me." Edward rounded on Rosalie while Emmett guffawed his amusement. Edward's eyes narrowed at Emmett, and I hoped to heaven that Emmett wouldn't share his likely illicit thoughts with the rest of us.

"Children!" shouted Esme from the front passenger seat, but she was smiling broadly at me. "Everyone goes to timeout in their own bedrooms when we get back. I don't want to hear from any of you until tomorrow morning." I caught a shared, smoky glance between Esme and Carlisle and burst out laughing. I loved my family.

The next morning I turned over lazily in bed as sunlight began to peek in the windows. Ah, Saturday! No shop to worry about. Tanya and Carmen had taken care of everything. "Do you think Esme will let us leave the bedroom yet?"

Edward snickered. "I can tell you no one else has left yet. We're all really obedient children." To my dismay, he jumped off the bed and started sorting through the clothing items strewn about our floor.

"What are you doing?" I asked, sitting up on the bed.

"I thought I should save this," he answered with a grin. He was folding up my uniform.

"Oh." Oh my.

Several hours later, I thought it was time for one of us to start acting like there were other people sharing the planet with us. "Sweetheart?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I should be the one to give Josh the news about his thesis before he heads back to Boston. We can't let him continue with the manuscript – it will just bring him to the attention of the Volturi."

"You're right about that. We could tell him together." He brushed the hair off my shoulder and began nibbling.

"No, I feel responsible for letting it get started in the first place."

"He should at least be happy about being able to go back to the rest of his life." Edward sighed suddenly. "Tanya's going to be a problem."

Edward's cell phone rang. "It's Alice," he grumbled. The phone cut off. "Apparently we're all supposed to meet up at Carlisle's and discuss what happened yesterday."

"I guess timeout is over," I giggled.

* * *

I was relieved when Embry invited Jake and me to the hotel to "hang with the boys." I couldn't bear the thought of returning to Wolfeboro with Dad and Grandpa. I knew they had made the only decision they could, but it didn't calm the irrational anger I had with the both of them. During the confrontation, Jake had cracked the van window hoping we could hear some of the discussions. The boat had been a fair distance away, and only bits of the conversation came through to us, but the bite Sarah had given Victor had been unmistakable. Jake had held me back when I tried to get out of the van. He had cradled me until my sobs had stopped.

Even now, sitting in the hotel bar, listening to the five of them banter about growing up and troubles they had all gotten into over the years, I could only think about Victor. I had made a promise, and I intended to find a way to make it come true. My life had been charmed, despite the constant threats. I had so many people watching out for me, protecting me, buffering me from even the mildest discomfort, and I could so easily take them all for granted. I found Jake's eyes on me, and I smiled at him automatically. He wasn't fooled, but continued talking with the guys. It was time to take life and my responsibilities more seriously.

* * *

The Cullen family meeting had primarily been Carlisle, Edward, and Jasper discussing the implications of the Boston confrontation with Sarah. Were we free of the Volturi interference for a time? Could we relax vigilance at all? What do we tell our allies? In the end, Carlisle decided to wait until Aro called him. I was too preoccupied with how Josh was going to react to contribute to the discussion.

When the talk circled back around to topics already covered, I announced I was headed for the Den.

"Are you sure you don't want me to join you?" asked Edward.

"I think I should do this on my own," I answered. I gave him a quick kiss and headed out in our car.

Arriving at the Den, my nose wrinkled involuntarily. The scent of seven werewolves had assaulted me, and it took a few seconds to adjust.

"Hey, Bella!" Seth greeted me happily with a hug. He and Jake were still the only ones who could stand physical contact with us. "We're all playing a Galactic Empire tournament." I wasn't a big fan of video games, but it had been impossible not to learn about them with Edward, Jasper, and Emmett in the family.

The common room was full of werewolves, vampires, one hybrid girl, and a very unhappy looking human. Tanya was sitting on one side of the room, talking with Kate. Josh was on the extreme opposite side of the room next to Leah. I didn't think Edward had to always be right, but it looked like Tanya was, in fact, going to be a problem. A core of people stood around the big screen actively playing the game including Garrett, Quil, and Jake. I waved to everyone, and then joined Tanya and Kate.

"Spill it," I said. I was finally getting a chance to put my two cents into someone else's romantic failures, and I hoped I could do for Tanya what my family had ridiculously failed to do for Edward – and me.

"She's an idiot," said Kate with no preamble. "Her first chance at love in – well, in ever, and she's an idiot."

"Whatever is going on is between me and Josh, and I'll thank all of you to butt out." Tanya's eyes flashed.

"I don't think you're telling the truth," I told her. "Whatever is going on is only with you, because I don't see Josh agreeing with your decision. What is it with vampires making unilateral decisions for their human friends?" My voice had gotten just loud enough that Leah sent me an approving look and all the men in the room looked uncomfortable. Except for Josh, who, of course, hadn't heard me.

I decided to try a different topic before we ended up fighting. "What has Carlisle told you?"

"He said Josh appears to be safe from the Volturi." Tanya's eyes cut over to Josh for the seventh time since I had walked into the room.

"Have you told him that?"

"We haven't used the term with him. If he's to go back to his old life, the less he knows the better." I disagreed on principle, but I accepted that he didn't need the fear of the Volturi haunting him to the end of his days.

"All right. I came over to discuss the manuscript with him."

"That's not going to go well," said Tanya slowly. "Maybe I should go with you."

She honestly did not see how badly she needed to be with him. I hoped for Josh's sake that she was not as stubborn as Edward. He'd lasted six months.

"Give me a few minutes. I think I should talk with him alone first." I walked over to Josh and asked him to come with me. We went out to the back porch and wandered off into the woods behind the Den. There were a few scattered benches among the trees, and I selected one which would give us a nice view of the back of the house.

"I can't express fully how sorry I am that this has happened to you," I told him.

"Which part?" he asked. He was sitting on one leg, plucking absently at the hem of his jeans. His posture, the circles under his eyes, even the sloppy clothes he was wearing were all signs of his state of mind. I was glad he wasn't hiding in his room, but I guessed the need to be near Tanya had been overwhelming to him. The clean break Edward had once tried to give me had been awful, but what would have happened if he'd told me he didn't want me and then stayed in town, visible but just out of reach?

"All of it, really," I answered truthfully. I wanted him to know how much I understood his feelings. "I know Edward told you that we were together before."

"You mean when you were still human."

"Yes. Edward and I fell in love when I was human, and at one point he left me to protect me. He couldn't stay away, though. He came back, and we got married." I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face. "The situation was very different from yours, but there are a few similarities. For example, there were a number of threats to my life."

"But Edward saved you."

"Mostly Edward, but also Jake. They each saved me from certain death a number of times, and when I had to be changed, it took both of them together to save me."

"When you had Nessie?"

"Yes, I died during her birth. They had to resuscitate me."

"I'm sorry. Leah had mentioned that to me. We should talk about something else," he suggested. He was a real gentleman, and charming as well. In the midst of misery, he was thinking of my feelings.

"I'm fine. I don't get to talk about it often, at least, not to anyone who doesn't already know the story. It is important for us to remain as invisible as possible."

"So you don't attract attention from these other vampires?"

"That's part of it. Humans who get drawn into our problems are at great risk, as you have found out."

"Tanya says I'm safe now, that your family ensured my safety." It was impossible to miss how he said her name. He was in love.

"We have an agreement with the others, yes. And that's part of why I'm here. Your thesis topic will attract their attention again, and we cannot in good conscience allow you to continue. We let you get this far only because we didn't know how you were connected to the others."

Josh stiffened and squeezed his eyes shut. His shoulders seemed to collapse a little.

"I'm very sorry, Josh," I told him softly.

Tanya exited the house and was at our side in a flash. I could see she was angry. I was a little annoyed with her – she needed to figure out whether she was in love or not. Josh was suffering, and I wagered that his thesis topic would have been irrelevant if Tanya would quit being such an ass.

I was unsure whether I should leave the two alone, but when Josh saw Tanya, he cried out a little, and she quickly enfolded him in her arms.

"Are you going to admit your feelings for him?" I asked her at high frequency.

"Right now he needs me," she replied cryptically.

Stupid stubborn single vampires.

* * *

I needed to get Edward alone. He hadn't been honest with any of us about Sarah, and I could feel the oppressive waves of humiliation and disgust radiating from him. His time with Bella had muted it, but now that she had left for the Den, he was brooding over the piano. If we didn't have it out soon, I was going to have to move to another state without him. I set my book down on the ottoman Esme had obtained for me. _Hunt with me, little brother._

I sensed hesitation tinged with shame and annoyance, but his essence slowly turned to acquiescence. Or resignation. _You owe me for your games with Alice, and you know it._ I briefly considered inviting Emmett, but he had only one thing on his mind. He was with Rose. I didn't need that level of distraction, and Emmett could be less than sensitive. I stood from the armchair and ottoman and stretched. Less than a second later, Edward and I met at the backdoor. One glance was all we needed, and then we were running.

Hunting with Edward usually included running. He was meditative on long runs, but all his emotions were overlaid with the bright joy of speed. Perhaps his youth made him more susceptible, or perhaps his raw talent at running added to the joy. Even in his darker days, before meeting Bella, he had been more pleasant on the hunt.

"You know I can hear that," he said, not looking at me.

I didn't bother to answer aloud. I knew he wasn't offended.

Our unspoken agreement was not to discuss anything of importance until after feeding. I needed the contentment of satiation to deal with Edward's volatility. We separated and hunted. I gorged myself – I had a bad feeling about how the discussion would evolve. I found Edward lounging on his back on a fallen log, his hands underneath his head. I sat on the ground, leaning against a large pine. Darkness was falling, and crickets and frogs were making themselves known. The thrum of cicadas was missing, these northern nights almost silent compared to the south I remembered.

I waited. He knew my question.

Edward put his right hand over his eyes. It was a classic sign of shame – a symbolic shutting out of the witnesses to his humiliation. His voice was barely audible. "She has a gift, Jasper. She likes to hurt people. I don't know how she does it. It's like a mental whip."

_What did she show you?_

"Her plans for the future. Me in Volterra, Bella being killed or worse by Felix."

_What were you doing in Volterra?_ I could sense this was not the same shame Edward had over Alice's visions. That shame had the stale taste of a memory; he was used to that pain. This was fresh and new.

"I don't even know if these plans are real, Jasper. I think Aro told her what would be the worst for me. He's the only one who would know."

_If Aro told her, then the threat is real._

I was hit with a stifling wave of disgust and self-loathing, and for my own comfort I fought as much of it as I could with cool serenity.

"It was bad enough when Aro wanted me as a personal slave in order to hear everyone around him. The stud services were revolting. This went beyond that."

I reeled from the emotion pouring from him. Verbalizing what had happened was almost beyond him. His left hand was clenching and unclenching. When it stopped, it shook slightly. I had to tamp down the emotion again.

Finally, Edward told me the gist of Sarah's threats. It was bizarre and disgusting, but I thought it unlikely to be true. I could not see the Volturi accepting a stripped, shaved Edward in their midst. Aro liked his civilized veneer, and the Volturi were all the peak of beauty – Aro's vanity would prevent him from enjoying anything less. Edward should have known all this better than I could feel it.

_We have to speak with Carson and Eleazar._ Carlisle was necessary because he was our leader. Eleazar had important insights about the Volturi. It was only logical.

"No!" Edward's anger was a sudden blistering heat, a harsh sirocco scouring away cool reason. "Talking to you was unavoidable. You already knew what had happened, at least in how it affected me. I don't see any need to tell anyone else." He was sitting now, glaring at me.

"Look, Edward, you've been manipulated," I returned aloud, a little more forcefully than needed. Edward's anger was difficult to ignore, even as many times as I had felt it. I envisioned a cool breeze of serenity across us both. "This emotional response you're having is some part of Sarah's gift. I'm certain of it. We need to discuss this with Carson and Eleazar." I sensed his mood cooling from anger to concern.

My phone vibrated, and I glanced at it. A text message had arrived from Alice, announcing she had gotten everyone else out of the house. I wished I could feel the warmth of her love immediately so I could echo it back to her.

"I suppose I've decided to tell them, then," said Edward glumly. We were both running before he finished his sentence.

_Do they know what's going on?_ I asked as we approached the house.

"Carson suspects. Eleazar isn't as used to Alice's ways," he answered wryly.

Edward and I both headed for the dining room table and asked Carlisle and Eleazar to join us. Carlisle was unsurprised by the request, his attitude the usual eagerness to learn overlaid with concern for us all. Once we were seated, Edward looked to me to speak, running a hand through his hair in distress as he leaned on his elbow.

I related the full story of Edward's interaction with Sarah in as dispassionate a tone as possible. Perhaps a clinical discussion would ease some of Edward's tension. Carlisle and Eleazar's reactions were similar to mine.

"Aro won't hesitate to kill to gain what he wants," interjected Eleazar, "but I cannot see him acting in this foul manner. Killing, yes, but this type of torture would be impolite to him." He jumped from his seat in thought, pacing rapidly around the room. In spite of his rapid movement, I sensed a calm, thoughtful state, like a cool spring rain.

"Remember her goal, Edward," said Carlisle urgently. "She wanted you to come quietly with Bella right then. She used whatever means she had to convince you that now was the time to surrender."

"It is not possible for her to be so powerful," said Eleazar suddenly. We all looked at him in surprise as he paused in his pacing. "If she could control any vampire in this way, she would be the undisputed leader in the Volturi. No one could stand against her. Yet, her position is one of subservience – she trains newborns and these hybrids. Her power must be strongest with the weaker minds."

"Why would she affect me so strongly?" asked Edward in dismay, but I could feel a sense of understanding flood him like morning light.

"It may be your gift," said Carlisle. "Remember, Nessie can force herself on you as well; more readily than she can with anyone else, anyways. She doesn't have to touch you, yet you can't block her the way you can ignore everything else. Your mind is more susceptible to certain gifts."

Edward's discomfort grew, and he moved his hand from his hair to his eyes. "I can't stop the fear. She put it in me, and I can't make it go away."

"It's barely been a day," I reminded him. "You were very relaxed with Bella, so it does go away for periods. I think it will lessen over time. If it doesn't, we could work on some techniques. If worse comes to worst…"

"Nessie," he breathed. "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to be surprised by Sarah's gift if I have to face her again."

Our discussion revealed nothing new after that, but I sensed renewed hope in Edward. When the rest of the family returned with Carmen, we had actually convinced Carlisle and Eleazar to play video games in the basement.

Later that afternoon, Emmett had challenged me _again_ to a juggling contest. When would he figure out that juggling had more to do with speed and coordination than with brute strength? I supposed I wouldn't illuminate him since I'd already won two video game consoles and a new motorcycle from him. We were using billiard balls, but he was urging us to switch to knives.

"Emmett, knives aren't any more dangerous to us than billiard balls," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, but it looks really freakin' cool."

"You are the largest six-year-old in the history of the world," came Edward's voice from upstairs. He was with Bella and in a relatively good mood.

The phone rang. It was unmistakably _the_ phone.

The dining room filled with vampires who froze, each staring at the phone. Carlisle plucked the electronic device off the buffet, turned towards the room, and hit the answer button. The room was oozing with distress. Alice's eyes were large and sad.

"I didn't see the call," she whispered to me. The tension of this conflict was nothing to me compared to the agony Alice felt each time her power was circumvented. I bolstered her as best as I could with a tendril of the love we shared, and she smiled at me. The warmth from her was enough for me to combat the distress in the room. I couldn't stop it, but I could stop myself from multiplying it.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, Aro."

"Carlisle, my old friend, I cannot convey my sorrow that your children have refused me yet again."

"They are free to make their own decisions, Aro." Carlisle was simmering with anger. I had never felt such heat from him before, the parching heat of noon in the desert.

"Of course, Carlisle. I will not force them to join with me." No one in the room relaxed. Edward's anger was at a roiling boil.

"I'm pleased you agree with me." Carlisle barely contained his sarcasm, but when he cleared his throat I felt the characteristic surge of compassion I associated with him. "I would like to discuss the boy you sent here. I strongly recommend that he receive psychiatric care. He is very sick, most likely with schizophrenia. I could recommend courses of treatment, if you wish."

Aro's laughter flooded the room. "How delightful! Your need to care for weaker beings is endearing. Your children are your concern, my old friend. Do not worry about things which are not your concern. In fact, I made this call to let you know exactly how far your concern reaches. After the less than friendly meeting last week, I do not feel my Guard is welcome on your shores. I am afraid we shall have to restrict ourselves to this hemisphere. I would ask that you remain in yours, or we may have to take more aggressive action."

Carlisle turned his back on the room, speaking urgently into the phone. "Aro, perhaps a meeting in neutral territory? We could discuss in person any grievances you may have." Carlisle's anger had not fully abated, but his dominant emotion was protectiveness.

"The time for talk is done, my friend. I must admit, I have grown weary of policing your southern clans. You are welcome to them." The click signaling the end of the call was audible to everyone.

When Carlisle turned back around after setting down the phone, his weary eyes met the shock everyone exuded. "So, this cold war ends," he said softly. His eyes flicked to Edward's first, some unspoken communication flowing between them. "We all will have much to do in the coming days."

"We should call all the allies," said Alice.

"That will be the first order of business, then," agreed Carlisle.

"We can't call them all," said Edward. "We haven't received the new phone from Amun."

* * *

I held Josh in my arms. Was _this_ the last time? I had never felt so out of control. I had resolved to leave Wolfeboro two days ago, to let Josh forget me. I hadn't made it as far as my own room before I had found an excuse to stay – the Cullens needed me to help protect Josh while they were all in Boston. Then when Carlisle had phoned us the news about the confrontation, I had felt compelled to break the news to Josh myself. I reasoned that he still knew me best; a familiar vampire had to be less worrisome than a strange one. Somehow I was still here, still watching him, still protecting him. Still listening to Kate and Carmen (and Leah) call me all kinds of idiot. When had I lost control of my own coven?

"Why?" he whispered in a hoarse voice. He cleared his throat and then sat up straight. His eyes were red-rimmed and he looked so sad that it hurt me inside. "Why are you holding me?"

"You seemed like you needed it," I answered. It was true.

"Isn't it time for you to be done with me?"

"I didn't say I hated you or anything. I don't have long-term relationships. That's all. I knew you'd had a terrible shock, and I wanted to help."

He laughed, but it wasn't happy. It sounded like someone watching the last wisp of grass slip through his fingers as he slid over the edge of a cliff. "You know, I would respect you more if you just told me the truth. If I'm not good enough for you, I wish you would just come right out and say it."

"That is ludicrous," I hissed at him. "Can't you understand? I'm ancient. I've been with thousands of men, I've killed thousands more. I'm not even alive by human definitions. Why would I think that you're not good enough for me?"

"Are you calling me ludicrous? Because that is a crock right there, and you know it." Apparently Josh had progressed from hurt to anger. "I understand that you want to scare me off. Well, it didn't work. You're going to have to do better than that." The look he gave me was so intense that it gave me an unfamiliar feeling, one that had nothing to do with sex. I found myself wanting to lie, to tell him that everything would be fine, that we could find a way to be together. Instead, I told him something entirely different.

"How about the way I will feel in twenty years, when I still look twenty and you're forty-four. Or in forty years, when you're sixty-four."

"That is a long time away," he said, his eyes still holding mine. "There's so much that can happen in that time."

"It doesn't seem that long to me," I told him. Because we were so close together, because I was looking intently into his eyes, I saw the exact moment the life went out of them. I saw him give up. What was the ripping I felt inside? He stood without speaking and walked back into the Den without turning. When I went inside, he had retreated to his room.

"He's a good man, my sister. You could find a way to make it work."

"I think life with Garrett has made you soft," I responded. I sat by myself in the corner of the room. I didn't understand how I had ended up here, with another conquest under my belt but with an unfamiliar pull to him. I tried to remember who I had been a week ago, the head of a coven of five, a succubus, a leader of sorts among my kind. And lonely as hell. I tried for a minute to remember how I had felt about Edward when I had considered being with him. It wasn't anything like this. I didn't know what this was, but I knew I didn't like it.

Later that evening, Edward arrived to talk with Kate, Garrett, and me about Aro's phone call. Once the facts had been laid out, we agreed that the Wolfeboro location was too hot. The Cullens were going to pull up stakes and spend the summer investigating new locations.

"Do you really think Josh will be safe?" I wondered aloud. Mentally I kicked myself.

"He's as safe as we can make him. I don't think uprooting him is necessary at this point," said Edward, but he was eyeing me speculatively. Kate and Garrett made an excuse to wander off on their own, and disappeared out the back door.

"What did you do to him?" asked Edward in exasperation. His eyes opened a little wider as I involuntarily recalled my afternoon. "Bella thinks you're in love, that you're in love with him, and she's certain that Josh is in love with you."

"Me? In love? Please, Edward." I scoffed at him.

"You've been looking for this exact thing, and now that it's landed in your lap, you're dumping it?"

"This is not the exact thing I've been looking for," I argued. I mentally ticked off all the things I was looking for in a mate. "Human" was certainly not on the list. "Argumentative" wasn't on there, either, I thought as I recalled our last fight.

"That's it," said Edward suddenly. "You've lost some control and you don't like it. Tanya, people in love can't control what's going on. Trust me, I tried it. If you really love him, he'll have as much control over you as you have over him. It is inevitable."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said weakly. "I'm not like that." Edward was the control freak, right? He was the man who needed his music organized by year and genre and preference.

Edward straightened suddenly and whipped his head toward the guest rooms. I was on my feet in an instant. "What is it?" I whispered. "Is it Josh?"

"Ye-es, but not what you're thinking," he answered. His eyes were sad. "I didn't think I'd get to witness it in action; he does it unconsciously."

"Does what?" I demanded. I was beginning to panic.

"His thoughts, just now as he was falling asleep, he decided he would be better off if he could forget you, if he could forget about vampires and werewolves and anything related to the supernatural."

"And?" I asked. I should feel good, right? He was trying to forget me. He would heal.

"It has to be something about his gift, I think," said Edward. "As soon as he thought it, we were gone. He won't remember anything about this in the morning."

* * *

All our belongings were already packed, donated, or put in storage (hint: Edward's piano). We had surreptitiously emptied the vault over the past few nights, and then removed the vault itself in pieces. That steel door was heavy, even for me! Well, not so much heavy as awkward. Night work was always amusing – what was the point if we didn't dress up in black ninja outfits? (Rose really liked the tight black pants on me, and she didn't seem to mind the ski mask either.) Jasper had purchased new paperwork for us all. The only remaining task was our excuse for leaving town: we were burning Hunter's Crossing. Jake and I had carefully set the wiring so that the place would go quickly. I had a few last minute touches, and the place would be a pile of ashes by morning. Since all our buildings were insured through Pacific Life and Annuity, we weren't even committing fraud. It was our company. (That had been my idea!)

I went back through the building one last time. We had agreed the fire should start in Bella Libri since it had so much flammable material. I listened to the building – not a single heartbeat was audible. No rats! They apparently didn't like a building that smelled like vampires. I saw the shelf where Bella had left the manuscript that Edward's little human friend had been using. He'd gotten a rotten deal, between losing his thesis project due to a budding vampire war and then getting dumped by Tanya. I'd heard Rosalie chew her out royally after the poor boy had gone back to Boston. At least he didn't remember any of it. Edward had checked up on him twice already. I flicked the switch that would begin the fire, and sniffed. I could already smell the combustion products. The manuscript would be gone by morning. How could one little pack of paper cause so much trouble?

I turned to go, but I found I couldn't leave it. One day, the kid might wake up from his amnesia. He might not be able to finish his thesis, but at least he could finish reading the book. I tucked the manuscript under my arm and slipped out the back.

**AN2: And so it ends. Except for the epilogues I have planned. Yeah, I keep seeing two in my head, one for the Cullens and one for Josh. I won't leave him on his own for too long!**

**Just a little reminder…all that voting for the Indies and the Sparkle awards ends soon (Indies – ends Wednesday!) so would love for you to participate.**


	28. The Cullens' Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Chris Carter is the creator of the X-files. **

**AN: Here is the first epilogue which has a bit of closure for the Cullens. I actually wrote big chunks of this way back on May 1 (checked the creation date on my file). **

**I borrowed an idea from ebhg (surprise, surprise!) – it's the interchange about aliens and Chicago. It comes from her fic "Getting to Know the Cullen Coven."**

**Speaking of ebhg, she beta'ed and rearranged the words in some sentences so that someone else might be able to figure out what I meant!**

**The Cold War has been nominated for a Sparkle Award for Best Post-Breaking Dawn. Voting has already begun and will continue through July 31. Most Unwanted is also nominated for Best One-Shot and Best Collaboration. You can find instructions on voting on my profile.**

**The Cold War made it to the second and final round at the Indie Twific Awards for:  
Best Canon WIP and Best Original Character WIP.  
Justine Lark also has two fics in the last round: "Sunshine State" for Best Romantic Moment and "Our Little Secret" for Best Use of Comedy. EliseShaw has "A Coming of Age" going head to head with me in Best Canon WIP and is also up for Best Secondary Storyline. Katmom's Guarding Edward is up for Best AU and Most Original Storyline. Vote for somebody, guys!**

**Round two voting is July 22-29! (Ends today!) You can find instructions on voting on my profile.**

28. The Cullens' epilogue

These last two weeks had been filled with tension, discussion, and arguments about our next steps. Moving into a vacation house in Maine had at least provided some diversion from the endless speculation, although I was sorely missing my daughter as she had chosen to spend the summer with Jake in La Push. We all knew the Volturi would not stop until they had what they wanted, and once they did, they would covet more. This was a fact we would all have to face sooner or later. Carlisle had informed the family about Sarah's private attack on Edward, and my desire to find her alone somewhere and rip her into small pieces had only been enhanced. Her fighting experience was undoubtedly greater than mine, but she didn't have my motivation. I had been practicing combat with Rosalie and Alice regularly; I needed the practice anyway. Since Aro's primary goal was stealing the love of my existence, I had more incentive to reflect than the rest of the family. I was also perfectly safe reflecting about strategy since my love wouldn't hear anything I didn't let him hear. I had no way of knowing, but I imagined that everyone was avoiding these thoughts to prevent Edward from additional humiliation.

This game of cat and mouse had been hard on us all; we had known the Volturi had plans when Joham had been killed and his daughters taken eight years ago. But the true beginning of the Cold War had come two years later; that was when we had truly felt like we were under siege. We knew the worst was yet to come; Aro's cease-fire seemed more trick than truth. I had turned those early events over and over in my mind in the last few weeks. I needed to be able to understand how we had arrived where we were. I needed to understand what motivated the Volturi. I needed to understand how their actions had affected my family.

Edward had successfully identified the threat Josh and Randall had posed. Once he had proved to us that the threat was real, we had worked together to investigate and then to eliminate the threat. We had taken a proactive stance to protect ourselves, and we had succeeded.

A proactive stance. Not just hiding or responding.

Our family needed to fight back, to regain what was ours. And we had no reason to fear annoying the Volturi – we'd already hit rock bottom on that account.

How long had I been sitting in our bedroom, frozen in thought? I looked out the window, and saw the beautiful reds and oranges of a sunset through clouds. The house stood on a hill, allowing us to see over the trees that bordered the property to the west. I had been here about two hours, remembering and thinking. Edward had been playing or composing this entire time, relishing the quiet with the rest of the family out. It was time to put my ideas into action. Action. I liked the sound of that. Emmett was rubbing off on me.

I stood and wandered downstairs and into the room with Edward's keyboard. The piano would be in storage until we chose a permanent (for us) place to settle. He knew I was there, but didn't pause in his playing. He had stopped composing about 17 minutes earlier, I thought. I hadn't been actively paying attention with my thoughts so full, but I could think back and reconstruct what had been in the background. He was playing Beethoven's Appassionata now. I leaned against the doorframe and waited as he completed the third movement. He finished the presto, and turned on the bench to smile at me. His hair appeared artfully disarranged, a result of his absorption in the music.

"You haven't played Beethoven in a while," I said, a smile forming on my face. He was so beautiful. I let my gaze wander over his shoulders and down to his elegant hands, then back up to his crooked grin.

"I haven't composed in a bit, either. Events of this week seem to be bringing out my passionate side." His smile upgraded from happiness to see me to something a bit more, well, wicked.

Action could wait a few hours.

oOoOoOoOoOo

"So, Edward, I was thinking I wanted to meet with you and Alice for a game," I told him. I lay on my stomach on our bed, my head turned away from him.

"What kind of game," he asked lazily, rubbing circles on my back. He planted a kiss on the back of my neck.

"What if."

He stiffened.

"It's not what you think."

"Bella, I don't like this," he said. I could tell he was either clenching his jaw or gritting his teeth.

"Trust me. You will." I rolled over and looked at him. He looked over my head, jaw tight, and I reached up and pulled his head toward mine so I could look him in the eye. "You do trust, me, love."

His look softened. "I do."

We were dressed in seconds, just as the front door banged open.

"Yes, it's Alice," he said with a smirk. "And Jasper, of course."

"I love this! Bella, this is perfect!" came Alice's musical soprano. We descended the stairs and joined Alice and Jasper in the living room.

"I guess we don't need to play," I laughed as Edward and I raced down the stairs.

"No, we do! I'm only getting flashes."

Edward looked from me to Alice, slightly puzzled. Jasper looked at all of us with concern.

"You realize that none of you are making sense?" he asked.

"Let's sit," I said. Once we were all ensconced on our sofas, I concentrated. I peeled back my shield, and chose the course of action I thought our family should take next – I wanted Edward to know my choice so he could see the decision which sparked whatever vision Alice might get. Alice's eyes glazed briefly, and then she burst out in laughter. Edward's eyes widened and a smile broke out.

"This is going to work beautifully," she enthused.

"Bella, you are amazing," said Edward, his voice full of wonder.

"So, it works?" I asked. "I know what I'm planning, but I can't see the visions with you two."

"Will someone please let me know what's going on?" asked Jasper. He wasn't annoyed; we were too happy for him to dredge up any bad feelings.

"Bella has a plan," said Edward happily.

"And it's going to work," said Alice.

* * *

I sat in my chair and spun around, lifting my feet off the ground. I popped a pistachio. I looked at the clock. I could have been working on a few leads which had come in late yesterday: a sighting of Bigfoot in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, of all places; a series of seemingly unrelated disappearances in Wyoming; an attack of killer bees in Kansas. I sharpened a pencil and tossed it twice. Both times it fell back to the desk, the second time breaking off the newly-sharpened lead.

I couldn't shake off the feeling that something significant would happen today.

I had offered to join the anti-terrorist team which was investigating the destruction of the Paris flight from two weeks before, but I had been told off in veiled but insulting terms. My partner had been commandeered, however. She was helping in body identification.

My cell phone rang, and I popped it open and answered. "Hedry, any new developments?"

"I beg your pardon?" asked a smooth, baritone male voice.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else." No one ever called my cell phone except for my partner.

"Am I speaking with Special Agent Renard?"

"Yes," I answered, intrigued but disturbed. This was my _personal_ cell phone.

"I have a proposition for you."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I know that you want to believe, and I'm going to arrange for you to witness incontrovertible evidence."

"What's the catch?" I asked skeptically.

"The catch is that you will not be able to share this with anyone, not even your partner."

"And what do you want in return?" I asked.

"You have a file. If you destroy the file and all copies, we'll be even."

"Which file?"

"You have it listed under 'C,' for 'Cullens.'"

"You want me to destroy it first, or after?"

"After is fine. I trust you."

"How will we meet?"

"The mail will be delivered to your office in about eight minutes. There is an envelope with instructions. We'll be waiting."

The line clicked dead. I looked at my call log, but unbelievably there was no entry in my phone. Whoever it was had either hacked my phone or was using some protocol that I didn't know existed.

I pulled the file, checking the clock on the wall. Six more minutes until the mail arrived, if the caller was to be believed. I remembered the file well. It had been started by my predecessor. There had been no theory with the file, just newspaper clippings and a map from the mid first decade about people going missing in the Washington/Oregon area.

I had been intrigued by the file, but there were always other, more urgent cases to pursue. Then, one day six years ago, I had received a manila envelope. It wasn't addressed to me, but someone else in the agency had apparently read it and decided it was appropriate for my division. The information suggested a Dr. Carlisle Cullen was responsible for the missing persons in the Washington/Oregon area. Other information concerned the teenagers he had adopted for his own nefarious purposes. The information hinted at cult-like behavior and possible human sacrifice. He was a trained surgeon, capable of hiding his crimes. We had found his new location easily – a surgeon named Carlisle Cullen with multiple adopted children isn't impossible to find – but he and his family had disappeared when we arrived. He never resurfaced, and interviews with his acquaintances suggested he was completely aboveboard. But he _had_ disappeared.

I heard the brush of the mail falling into the box on my office door, and I gloved up and went to the hall to retrieve it. There was, in fact, a letter-size envelope. The lack of postage or return address suggested someone had dropped it in the interdepartmental mail. They had been in the Hoover building.

I opened the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of white paper. It had been printed by laser printer.

"Meet at 3:30 p.m. today, Rock Creek Park. You must come alone. You must tell no one. Find a bench and sit on it. We will find you. Bring a set of zener cards. Write any question you like on the back of this page. We will answer it."

My eyebrows had shot up. Hedry wouldn't have believed this even if I told her. I pulled open my third desk drawer and grabbed my zener deck. Now I just had to think of a question. I thought of several possibilities, but discarded them all. Anyone with access to a supercomputer could find just about any information in a short time. I needed _proof_. I had yearned for it since I was a teenager. I needed the proof, not necessarily to share with anyone else, but to prevent myself from losing all hope. I needed to know there was something bigger than this mundane existence.

I glanced at the newspaper discarded on the corner of my desk, and the question popped into my mind. Tomorrow was the home opener for the Nationals. They would play the Pirates – I even had a ticket. I didn't know if this was cheating, but I wrote my question, folded the paper, and put it back into the envelope and sealed it.

At 3:25 p.m., I walked into Rock Creek Park clutching the manila folder from the "C" drawer. I was taking a leap of faith – I would give them the file directly. The other envelope, the one with my question, was in my inside jacket pocket. The skies were threatening, and I hoped that this meeting, whatever it was, didn't get rained out. I wandered aimlessly until I found a bench a few meters off the path in a grassy open area. At exactly 3:30, my cell phone beeped. A young man with red-brown hair and wearing a jogging suit approached the bench and put his foot on the edge to tie his shoe. I looked away from him, not daring to hope this was it. Other joggers and walkers were roaming the park.

"Agent Renard," said the young man. "Are you ready?"

I wondered if I could be thrown out of the FBI for what I was about to do. I wordlessly handed him the manila folder. He glanced at it and nodded at me. "Your job will be safe. There are no other records of this information at the FBI. No computer logs. No copies."

"I don't believe so," I responded.

"I'm telling you," he said patiently. "This is the last piece of evidence directing suspicion at the Cullens, except for what is in your head."

"May I ask if the Cullens are responsible for all the missing people?" I asked. I wanted to know if I was giving crazed mass murderers a free pass just to satisfy my cravings for the truth.

"You may ask. We did not kidnap or kill any of those people."

He'd said "we." "Do you know who did all of it?"

"We know, but unfortunately the perpetrators are beyond the law. Take out the deck, Agent Renard."

Apparently we were done discussing the missing persons cases. I pulled the deck out of my pants pocket. I took off my sunglasses so no reflections were possible. I shuffled the deck.

"I'll turn my back," he offered.

I glanced at the first card, hidden as well as I could hide it behind my hands. It could not have been visible to anyone but me. Three wavy lines.

"Three wavy lines," said the young man.

I slipped that card to the bottom and glanced at the next. A square.

"Square," he said.

I put that to the bottom of the deck, but paused. He sat quietly. "The next one?" I asked.

"You haven't looked at it yet," he responded. A chill ran up my back. I looked at the card.

"Cross," he said. We repeated this for the entire 25-card deck. He made no errors. This type of response was impossible.

"Not if you can read minds," he answered my unspoken thought.

_Why are you here?_ I asked silently.

"We need the search to end. We did not kill those people. We want to be left alone, but we wanted you to have something in return for your complicity."

_Do you all read minds?_

"Just me. Others of us have different skills, but as you can imagine, we don't like to share our secrets. We just want to live our lives in peace."

_Who are you?_

"We're the Cullens. I can't tell you any more without exposing secrets I'm not permitted to share."

_Are you aliens?_

He chuckled. "Nope. Born in Chicago."

_Will I ever hear from you again?_ I realized that I wanted to. I wanted to know more. I just wanted…to believe this was real.

"I'm told that you will need me one day, so I've brought you this. It will only work one time, so be sure you really need me. Call the number programmed in." He turned around and handed me a cell phone. "This is our leap of faith, Agent Renard." I realized with a start that his eyes were a soft golden color. I had never seen that eye color before on anyone.

"And the answer is 4-3, Nationals, but you'll find the full line score here." He handed me an envelope. When I looked up from the envelope, he was gone. I stood up and spun around, but there was no sign of him in any direction. The closest trees were over a hundred yards away. I would have thought I dreamed it all, but in my hands were the envelope and the cell phone.

The next day, I sat at the game with the line score in my hand. When the game ended, 4-3, Nationals, I felt the hope rising again. There was something out there, something bigger, something real.

* * *

I watched through the tinted window of Carlisle's car as the ceremony on the beach began. At nine in the morning, the sun was already very bright on this day in mid-June. There were at least a thousand people attending along with another two hundred personnel covering the ceremony. The buzz of their voices in my head was annoying, but tolerable. Jasper was much more uncomfortable than I. The emotion was heavy, from the excited planners to the frantic media to the grieving attendees.

"When does the moment come?" asked Jasper.

"Alice says it'll be near the end," I answered. The huge donation made by the Pacific Northwest Trust had given Alice the opportunity to suggest (through representatives) some aspects of the ceremony. I was scanning the crowd, attempting to find any grieving family members who may have needed more than the modest stipends the PNT had provided for them.

A group of interfaith leaders began the ceremony. Only the family members of the 228 people who had perished on Flight 2134 were permitted to attend. One father was numbly recalling the loss of his wife and young son on the flight; there had been a time in my life when I would have felt mild sympathy, but now I could fully imagine the loss of Bella and Renesmee from my life. Being a husband and a parent came with great joy and potentially great pain as well. His suppressed pain was like a twist in my gut. An entire family mourned the loss of one man: his parents, his wife, his three children. He had been a good man, if their memories were any indication. Another young man mourned the loss of his partner – they had been together since their teenage years.

Not everyone invited had chosen to attend the ceremony; Alice had insisted that PNT offer a travel stipend to all the family members. The refusals had been duly recorded; Alice wanted to do some sort of follow-up. I wondered how deep the pain ran in the absent family members if the ones present grieved so deeply.

Today's event was an attempt to provide closure for the families. Three months had passed, with enormous resources devoted to retrieving the wreckage and the bodies and investigating every possible aspect of the crime. Sarah had done an excellent job on the plane – the authorities were never going to trace the explosives. Conspirators would never be found. No one would ever be brought to justice. The mystery would never be solved. I hoped that, in the absence of justice, we could contribute something positive to the lives altered by the attack. I tried not to think of the closure that Jasper and I might gain from this.

The ceremony had progressed to where each family member was to open the box they had been given as they entered the beach area.

"Now," I told Jasper.

Each person opened a box and released a Monarch butterfly as Jasper unleashed his talent upon the crowd. A feeling of incredible peace descended on everyone. As the cloud of orange and black rose in the light ocean breeze, Jasper expertly crescendoed the emotions toward joy. The faces of the people were turned up toward the butterflies, and the tears and smiles were visible on most of the assembled. Jasper had not spared the media or the clergy, and I heard many cynical reporters gasping with the force of the emotion. The priest had crossed himself and was murmuring about a miracle of God. I could imagine Carlisle telling me that an angel of God could come in many forms, but I wondered if this was the first time the form had been vampires with so much blood on their hands.

**AN2: I hope you liked it. Just think – everyone can call Carlisle "Carlisle" again! And Renesmee gets her name back, and they can all go back to being the Cullens. Josh's epilogue is up next and then this part of the story will be complete. Go vote in the contests!**


	29. Josh's Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I am **_**not**_** Stephenie Meyer. Ergo, this does not belong to me.**

**AN: This is it – the last piece of The Cold War. I am really thankful to all of you who have read this. Reviewers get double thanks – I've enjoyed talking to all of you.**

**Edward-bella-harry-ginny has been my beta since Ch. 18, and we've actually collaborated on three stories since with another in the works. I can't express in words how invaluable her contributions have been. Thanks, lady!**

**Justine Lark has also edited and commented on various chapters. She's a fabulous writer and has amazing attention for detail. She also introduced ebhg to me, thus creating the monster that is us!**

**I know if I list more people, I'll forget someone important, and that will really be awful. I do want to leave special thanks to MissySkywalker, Shavera, Master of the Boot, Katmom, Persephone's Folly, EliseShaw, Eagleswings81, Indredi, Bigma, and…like I said, I know I will leave someone out and I truly do not mean to. I've had great conversations with you and it's been a blast.**

**Thanks to my family for not making too much fun of the hobby that they accidentally discovered (and then reading the stuff!) and to my husband for just being a great guy.**

**READ THIS PART: Okay, my total bad and I have been spanked in reviews and in PM's by innumerable people. The last POV in Ch. 27 (the end of the "real" chapters) was Emmett. I've edited it twice, but nothing is working. I'm going to have to just bite the bullet and say something like "I scratched my short, curly brown hair as I looked around the room" or something like that. Oh, wait, Charlie has short, curly brown hair, too….Gah. Bear with me, people. I'll figure something out.**

Ch. 29. Josh's Epilogue

"I'm sorry, Josh. I just got the list this morning." Nan looked at me apologetically from her cubicle across the aisle from mine. "There were only three research positions in the department for the summer anyway."

Freshman comp. In the summer. I'd at least been teaching some lit classes in the spring – I thought I was done with the freshman classes. I slumped in my cubicle and looked up at the ceiling. I'd really wanted the research position, too. I enjoyed teaching, but I wanted a break to try something new, and the research slots were considered an honor.

"I think you might have been lucky to get the comp class," Nan murmured quietly. There were a few other grad students in their cubicles, and I sensed she didn't want to be overheard. "There was some talk in the department about how you've become unreliable."

"I only overslept twice," I hissed back quietly. After never oversleeping in my life before – I could always wake up when I wanted. I still was astonished I had missed two entire classes. The students hadn't minded, though.

"And you had that shouting match with the girl from your class."

"She wouldn't leave me alone," I muttered. She had been both annoying and persistent, and for some reason, my temper had just snapped. During my office hours, in this very office. In front of at least five witnesses. The girl had cried, too, and reported me to the department chair. I didn't generally lose my temper, either; at least, I didn't before.

"And you didn't return any of your papers on time."

"Most people don't return papers on time," I retorted, glaring harshly at my desk. That was an unfair criticism; before I had always returned everything promptly, and carefully and fairly graded, too. I had been proud of that fact at one time in my life, say, about 10 weeks ago.

"Shh," Nan hushed me. She waved at me to get my full attention, and I turned to her. "Look, I know that thing with your thesis was a bummer, but look at Daniel. He worked on his thesis for a year and a half before the committee rejected his topic. You only wasted three or four weeks." I did look at Daniel; he was only about 15 feet away. He was a little older, balding, with glasses. He may have felt our scrutiny, because he glanced back at me, gave a weak smile, and turned back to the paper he was working on. He was remarkably even-tempered, and I liked the occasional conversations we'd shared. I felt my anger fading to the standard grey hopelessness I had become accustomed to. I knew Nan was only trying to be helpful. We had started the program together, and we'd been reasonably good friends. She'd actually kept in contact the year I'd taken off to be with my father. If she wasn't a friend, she wouldn't be calling me on my out-of-control behavior.

I realized Nan was still talking to me. "…just assumed that jerk Randall was dragging you out at all hours."

"What?" I asked unapologetically. It was a new habit I had adjusted to – I couldn't seem to keep my attention on the conversations I was having.

"I said that I assumed you were slacking because of that jerk Randall. Where's he been taking you every night?" Nan had known Randall peripherally – she went to the Lit Society meetings as well. Obviously she didn't like him much.

"Actually, he's gone," I answered dully. This conversation was bound to come up eventually, might as well get it over with since we were already having a Josh pity party.

"Gone? Like on a trip or something?"

"No, he's _gone_. As in his cell phone is no longer in service. As in his apartment is no longer occupied. As in his emails bounce back to me with an error message that says 'Username unknown.'" I wasn't about to explain how I knew that his apartment was empty – it would just emphasize how desperate I had become for human contact.

"When did this happen?" asked Nan with concern. As far as she knew, he was my only friend outside of school. Which, in fact, had been the actual case.

"Same week as, you know." The week I had found out my thesis topic was null and void since the owner of the manuscript had "reconsidered his decision" to allow me to use it.

I remembered driving back from Wolfeboro at the end of spring break feeling a little down. I had attributed it at the time to the end of a holiday, and for that matter a holiday spent alone working on my thesis. Then, two days later, I had received the polite, apologetic (impersonal) letter from the owners of Bella Libri informing me that _Il viaggiatore_ was no longer available to me. The letter was still shoved in my desk – I had only read it once. Thinking about the letter was sometimes enough to make me mildly dizzy. Two weeks later, I had gotten up enough nerve (and righteous anger) to drive back up there to demand (or beg) to be allowed to speak directly with the manuscript owner. I had driven to the Hunter's Crossing strip mall and been confronted with a burned-out shell where the building had been. The memory of getting out of my car to stare into the sooty space surfaced, bringing with it the dull ache of loss. The mechanic's shop across the street was for sale, and when I visited the Den, it was under new management. The enthusiastic older couple had been effusive in their plans to give it a 1950's kitsch look. Rather than stay overnight, I had headed back to Boston immediately. The entire Wolfeboro experience had taken on a dream-like quality. With nothing left of what I knew there, it was as if it had never happened. I had only memories and the useless notes typed up on my laptop.

I had tuned out again, and Nan was waving her hand in front of my face. "Josh. This summer could be really important for you. You need to get your act together, or Dr. Howeson might drop you as a student."

"I know. I've had a lot of difficulty concentrating. I'll work on it."

Nan seemed satisfied with my response, and went back to whatever she had been doing. I wondered for a moment if I was happy with our friendship because her concern never turned into nagging.

I picked up the journal I had been perusing, and my thoughts drifted to my complete failures at life. Thanks to Sylvia, I had a criminal record to call my very own. After wasting time with Randall and random ladies for several months, I felt disgusted with myself for the serial failed relationships. The two things I had managed to hold on to through all my difficulties were my research efforts and my teaching, and now I had screwed all that up as well. I half-expected to get a call from Uncle Kimani to let me know Sylvia had successfully pried my trust fund away. I glanced at my cell phone. Nope, no missed calls. In fact, my phone hadn't gone off for about a week now.

To top everything off, I had this uncharacteristic lack of concentration, as if I had turned off half my brain. Unfortunately, the half that was left apparently had ADD. And was depressed. With a really short temper. And mild vertigo. It was true that I hadn't been sleeping well; I was having nightmares of some sort, often waking up in a cold sweat or screaming. It was probably just as well that I couldn't remember any of them.

The summer session would begin in two days, and I needed to get ready for my first day of class. I packed up my stuff and dropped by the main office to pick up the materials for teaching freshman comp. I decided, since I was going to turn over a new leaf, I would take the late afternoon to go exercise. I hadn't been running in a couple of months, and I was starting to feel flabby.

When I got back to my apartment after my run, I decided to bite the bullet and call Kimani and Adrienne. They already knew something was severely wrong, but I had managed to put them off until now. My new leaf was going to include honesty with the substitute parental figures. I pondered how I would break the news to them as I took my shower. I pondered further while I towel dried, and then continued to obsess as I stood in front of my closet. If I couldn't pick out which t-shirt to wear for the evening, the conversation possibilities looked bleak.

Finally, I settled on the couch, surrounded by the new books for freshman comp, a copy of the syllabus, and my phone. I dialed the familiar number.

"Hello! Joshua!"

"Hi, Adrienne. How are you?" Small talk was good.

"Things are fine here. The weather's turned hot and sticky." Hotlanta – when wasn't it hot and sticky?

"It's still mild here," I commented. "You guys should get a summer home up here."

"You know Kimani won't leave work for any amount of time. We'd never get away for more than a weekend." This was true. He was a dabbler in local politics, too, on top of the law practice.

"Is he home?" I had tried to sound nonchalant, but even in my own ears I sounded like a lost kid.

"He's right here, honey." I heard rustling with the phone.

"I'm glad you called, Josh. I was going to call you myself if we didn't hear from you soon."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I have some interesting news." This was unlikely to be good.

"What about?" Please, let it not be Sylvia. Please.

"I've engaged a private detective to investigate your stepmother." So much for fervent, heartfelt prayers.

"Why?"

"There have been some rumors which could be crucial to contesting the will." For a second the room spun on me, but I managed to hang on.

"Uncle Kimani, I've already told you that I'm just going to let this go."

"And I made promises to your father and long before that to your mother. You may have chosen the path of avoidance here, but I will not allow that woman to destroy your life. Your father didn't want this to happen."

"We've had this entire discussion before."

"Look Josh, the time is running out for us to take legal action. When the last day to file a lawsuit arrives, I will be ready. If you are absolutely convinced on that day that you want no part of it, we'll put it all away and pretend a giant fire consumed your childhood home."

In the end, I was unable to communicate the issues with my thesis to them. As usual, anything related to Sylvia was sufficient to wear me out. I spent the evening staring at the pile of books I needed to read, but finally I gave up and went to bed.

On the first day of class, I arrived early in my designated classroom. I had a printed copy of the roster to check off the names. I set up my laptop to project the instructions about how to logon to the university system so the students could access their syllabus, texts, and notes. My new leaf included meticulous attention to my class responsibilities. I ignored how my resolutions with Kimani and Adrienne were still unfulfilled.

Students filed in slowly, and I began class two minutes after the official start time in order to give the lost freshmen a chance to find the room. Enough early admission students began their freshman year in the summer that I would likely have several kids straight from high school. The rest would be students done with their first year but with no passing grade in the course. Between those two cohorts, summer freshman comp was considered an experience to be avoided.

I was halfway through my introductions when the door opened and another student hurried in and headed to the back of the room. I pointedly ignored the latecomer as I went over the syllabus and the required texts (and how to download them). Then I took roll; the department expected a verbal roll-call on the first day. I finished up early as per the supervising professor's instructions, and dismissed the class. A few students (all female) had questions about texts and the syllabus. I answered politely and then began packing my belongings.

"Excuse me, Professor Clemson." I was interrupted by a charming, musical low voice with an exquisite Russian accent. Memories of watching classic James Bond with my father rushed through me.

I looked up and said "I'm not a professor, just a grad student. You should call me Josh." And then the scent hit me. It was floral and spice and suggestive of cool sheets and hot tubs and other things I would never think of in front of a student. The person exuding this aroma was a strawberry blonde with her hair pulled back in a severe ponytail. She was so fresh looking; no make up was discernible, but her pale skin was flawless. She wore conservative, out-of-style clothing, and I wondered if this was the current style in Moscow.

"I apologize, Josh. You did not call my name, but I will be taking your class. It is supposed to help with my English. I just arrived in your country for one year to take classes."

I was mesmerized by her voice and her scent and her shocking beauty, even to the point of a slight dizzy spell. I forced myself to take another breath. The only thing I found jarring was her eyes – they were a dull green when I somehow expected gold? I shook my head to break the spell. There was no way I could have met her before and not remembered her. She was a complete stranger to me. The dizziness faded.

I cleared my throat. "I should record your name so I can turn in my roll to the department," I told her, embarrassed that my voice had dropped in pitch.

"Of course. My name is Sasha Irinovna Doletskaya."

I was still gazing at her without moving. "That's a lovely name." What? Shut up, Mr. Teaching Assistant. Student. Off-limits. This didn't happen to me; I could ignore any student because they were off-limits. Except, the rational, ordered part of my brain seemed to have taken a vacation about 10 weeks ago. I hoped it was enjoying itself, perhaps taking up painting on the French Riviera. Maybe it would send a postcard to remind me not to do things like stare at unbelievably gorgeous Russian exchange students.

I couldn't stop smiling, but at least I could stop acting like a doofus. "I don't want to spell it incorrectly; could you copy that onto my sheet?" I pushed the student roster across the desk to her and handed her my pen. For a moment, our fingers touched. I was shocked at the coldness of her skin, but more so by the connection I felt with her. I wanted to grab her hand and caress it. I hoped she didn't realize how strong my reaction was to her. She printed her name neatly in a slightly alien script. I stood back a step from the desk so that she was forced to lay my pen down on top of the paper rather than handing it to me.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Josh. I'm looking forward to your class for the summer." She gave me a dazzling smile and left the classroom. I sighed. It was going to be a long summer.

**AN2: Who was that strawberry blonde disguised vampire?? Well, Josh is not in the happiest place he's ever been, but perhaps you'll agree that there is hope for his future. And, since this is the final, final chapter of The Cold War, you can look for that future in the upcoming sequel, Acts of Aggression.**


	30. AoA Teaser

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twilight universe.**

**AN: The prologue to Acts of Aggression is now posted! (This is for all you with alerts on The Cold War but not on me.) And to make it worth your while for having received a "fakeout" chapter, I have below a teaser from the as-yet (Oct. 4, 2009) unposted chapter 1 of AoA.**

**And by the way, The Cold War has been nominated for two more awards. The Mystic Awards (up for the Lion Award) are already in the "voting" phase until Oct. 9 -- you can find the info on my profile. Round 2 of The Sparkle Awards (up for Best Volturi) is still in the nomination phase until Oct. 15.**

**Happy reading!**

Teaser for Acts of Aggression:

Clip from Chapter 1: Summer's End

I was seeing nothing of consequence, little moments in the lives of my family (I would have to warn Bella about what Emmett was going to leave in her bathroom), when I was startled by the image of Stephanie, a nurse at Carlisle's hospital. She was deathly white, her eyes open and staring, her mouth open in a look of frozen horror. I could see the wound on her carotid. She had been drained. But by whom? My stomach clenched. It couldn't be Jas.

"Call your men," I asked the girls urgently as I dialed Jas's number. I searched more frantically now as I waited for his phone to ring. Which one of us would attack so close to home? Would the blood overwhelm Carlisle after his long exile from medicine? Finally, Jas answered.


End file.
